A/N: This is cheating. This must be cheating. I know that this is supposed to be a story composed completely of letters, but after the last chapter, I was absolutely dying to write this scene out. And to be honest, Larsa and Penelo have enough problems to worry about without being nosey as far as Ashe, Vaan, Ada and Basch go. So there was no real way I could fit this in, seeing as Larsa and Penelo are both people to mind their own business, to begin with.

And in a strange, depressing sort of way, this scene and the whole Ashe/Vaan situation reflects my own equally depressive love life. So in short, I apologize for the break in continuity and a sappy, angst-fest of a chapter. So if you've managed to get through this ramble, take note that this chapter isn't necessary to understand the rest of the story, if you aren't a fan of the pairing (or if you really don't care). You are free to skip this, but it was begging to be written.

Yours Truly:

Interlude

Ashe was troubled, to say the least. And the more she thought about it, the more she convinced herself hat she had never been this troubled in her entire life. But as her train of thought chugged along, she decided that troubled wasn't the most precise word to be used in this situation. And being a well-taught and highly educated woman, she sat herself down in a red-cushioned, gold embroidered chair, stared at the mirror across the room and decided that she needed to find that right word to describe what she was feeling now.

She breathed a long, heavy sigh. She felt—weighted, she nodded slightly, as if she were carrying around an exceptionally heavy shield. (Which, she reminded herself, she hadn't done in an awful long time. Could she still do it, even if she wanted to? She wondered, but decided that that was a different concern entirely.) The word 'weighted' certainly had some justice to it, a certain ring, but was still not quite enough. She let out a little 'hmpf', as she often did when she found herself discontented (an awful habit that could come off as snotty and condescending in many a situation, an awful habit that needed to be broken. Another concern to address at another time.)

But soon enough, another word found its way to her lips. "Empty." She said, but immediately she knew it wasn't what she was looking for. She shook her head. If anything, Ashe decided, it was that she was full—filled with something she didn't recognize or understand. She was far from empty.

She closed her eyes for a moment, to find that they were stinging slightly, wet with unacknowledged tears. She bit her lip slightly, biting harder as she breathed in. She could not cry, being Queen meant being strong, even when you didn't want to. She released her bite on her lip and upturned the corners of her mouth. And being strong meant smiling, even when it hurts. The smile faded for a moment as she found another word hidden in her conscience.

Broken. But what was broken? She asked herself. Her body was far from broken, she had been treated well since her return to the castle, even better than the seventeen years she had lived there as a princess. Her spirit wasn't broken, she was still filled with determination and a fiery resolve to improve her country and protect the lives of her people. As she breathed in, she was filled with a feverish energy, even her body knew she was on the brink of something. She found herself standing up to face the door as the word finally came to mind.

Heartbroken. She was heartbroken. She placed her hand to her heart, and it skipped a beat as a face of a sky pirate was conjured in her mind, the cause of this whirring in her head and her heartbreak, all at the same time. But long ago they had established that there was nothing between them, that that night on the Phon Coast meant nothing. Had she been heartbroken then, too? She could hardly remember. She had been wrapped up in dreams of restoring her country, her pride, her Dalmasca—to even notice her own emotions, let alone to notice those of her companion. But now that her dream, her purpose had been fulfilled, what did this mean, this devastation, this heartbreak? Questions without answers flew through her mind, circling as she passed through the door without thinking.

And what about him caused her to feel this way, anyway? He had brought her a gift, for Ultima's sake…How did that cause her to feel so broken, like she had lost something instead of gained it? Her skirts swishing around her as she walked down the hall, she unclenched her left hand to find that she shell was still there, and it still shined in the light the same way as it had hours ago. And in that same way, Vaan was still the same, wasn't he? She had almost convinced herself that they had both changed, that they were both different from that time so long ago, but as she halted in front of the spiral staircase, she realized something. She was wrong.

Ashe gazed up the staircase, only slightly wondering how she had gotten there, caring even less. She was busy thinking, and her instincts would just have to answer to her later. She picked up her dress with her fingertips, as any lady should, and slowly began to climb the stairs and her mind quickly found its way back to her muse.

That night—there were words exchanged. She remembered some more vividly than others, but the words weren't what mattered. There had been a fiery, passionate—she struggled to find a better word, but could settle on no other—a fiery, passionate hate that drove two people together that night, and she couldn't help but wonder if either of them had really changed all that much since then. Their dreams had been realized, Ashe had become Queen of Dalmasca and Vaan became a pirate, wandering the skies as he damn pleased, answering to no one.

And what she wanted that night—she sighed as she continued up the stairs—was a memory. She knew that things would never be the same once she had restored Dalmasca, and through the sorrow all she wanted was something to remember him by, once she had lost him for good. And when she had convinced herself she could live without the Rabanastran boy, the aspiring sky pirate, the dreamer, he returned to her.

And why did things always happen this way? For the first time in a long time, her thoughts wandered back to Rasler. He was her new beginning, her promise of a new life. The clean slate. Even if she was married at seventeen, she knew that she was bound by duty to do what was right for her country, and at that point, marrying Rasler was the right thing to do. She saw him little but grew to think warmly of him, even love him as time passed on. As she opened the door to the roof, she felt a pang of something she labeled irony resonate through her body.

And so be it, the boy who had first swept her off her feet had never returned, and the boy who first broke her heart kept coming back.

The very first moment she laid eyes on his figure, sitting there placidly on the roof, she wasn't the least bit surprised, as if half of herself had tricked the other while she had been busy contemplating. The half that had been deceived soon took over and blinked repeatedly, as if not quite believing that he was actually there. She bit her lip once more, this time harder, releasing little shudders of pain. What was she supposed to do? Did he know she was there? Could she turn around and leave? Should she sit down and talk to him? Why was he still here, up on the roof? Was he thinking about her, as she thought of him?

"For a graceful princess, you're awful heavy-footed."

He only turned around after he had said something, a smug grin on his tan face that brought back so many memories of a year ago. It had been too long since she had seen that look on his face, and until now she hadn't realized how much she had missed it. As the two stared at each other in silence, it reminded her of old times, as if they were still talking around the campfire, and this silly coronation thing had just been a dream as she dozed off beside her companions. But even by the pale light of the moon, she saw the pain in his eyes and reality hit her like a brick wall, finally colliding with something solid after sailing on the winds for so long.

"For a sky pirate, you're awful sentimental." She replied as she hid the shell behind her back, but she felt the bitterness of her own words and longed to take them back. He turned back and looked down slightly, not wanting to let her know that her words had hit him hard. Without turning to face her, he pointed out,

"For someone as wise as Queen, you're awful impulsive."

"And what do you suppose you mean by that?" She asked, though the answer was on the tip of her tongue, anyway. His hair moved in the wind slightly as a breeze passed by, and it still bothered her that she was staring at his back.

"The engagement." He said shortly, without expression or argument. Knowing exactly what to do, she sat down beside him, not caring to devote a thought to the state of her expensive red dress, and put her hand in her lap. It was only a year ago that she had sat beside him in the middle of the night at the Phon Coast, with a heavy heart and something painful on her mind. But they were different now—right? Even down to their appearance, they had changed by leaps and bounds. While Vaan was now decked out in Balfonheim style sky pirate garb, Ashe's outfit all but screamed royalty, from her new, modest gold crown to the jewelry to the bead-covered, expensive-looking dress. But even a year later, these two people had found a way back to each other, as if their own unfinished business brought them back together to give it another try.

"You're one to talk of impulsive." She half-expected him to ask what she meant by that, to spite her, but only silence filled the air. They both knew that bringing her the shell had been an impulsive act in and of itself, even for a sky pirate. Showing up uninvited at a Queen's coronation banquet was impulsive as well, if not bordering on dangerous. But as she glanced over to watch his expression, it was contorted into a face of regret, displaying more hurt than she had intended. She sighed shortly, knowing she had made a mistake.

"Vaan, I—"

"It's not your fault." He cut her off before she could finish her thought, speaking without even turning to look at her. "You're right." He seemed to wrestle with those last two words, but she could tell he believed what he was saying.

"Is this about the Kiltias?"

"Ada?" He turned and looked at her, his eyes flashing slightly. She couldn't tell what the emotion behind them was, so she decided to wait it out and see what he said. When he said nothing, she turned her head forward to face the city laid out before her, like a painting on a canvas rolled out at her feet.

"So marrying Basch doesn't seem as impulsive as dating a former Kilitas?"

The thought sent a shudder through her veins, a feeling of dread and a strange emptiness. "I never said that."

"And there you go again." Vaan turned and looked at her once more, as she swore she could almost his blood rising to color his face. She remembered that look. She knew that look. "You're so detached from everyone, how do you expect to marry someone?"

"Maybe if you didn't spend your days wandering the skies like a criminal, you might be able to claim to know be better. I hardly see how you are fit to be critical of my judgment in the least!"

"So you think this isn't a big deal? Like this doesn't matter? Have you not thought through the fact that you're marrying Basch? This is the rest of your life you have ahead of you, Ashe." He seemed infuriated, as though the Queen had offended him in some way.

"You think I want this?" She cried, turning to him with a touch of hysteria in her sad, brown eyes. She stared at him for a moment, scrutinizing him. "This was supposed to be my fairytale. When I met Rasler, I had the rest of my life planned out. Prince Charming had come to sweep his Princess off her feet, and we would marry, and grow to love each other in spite of the political marriage." She seemed angry at the whole injustice. "But you know what? My husband was killed. My happy ending never came."

"Ashe—you—"

"Can't you see? I don't believe in love anymore. I'm marrying Basch for the security of having a husband."

"How do you plan on ruling a country if you're married to someone you don't love?" Vaan seemed genuinely confused, wrapped up in his naïve version of royal marriages and Ivalice's politics.

"It happens all the time." Ashe said, feeling her body temperature drop back down slowly, her heartbeat gradually returning to its normal pace. Sort of. "As a sky pirate, you may be free to choose to live the life you want, see what you want to see and love those who you want to love, but as royalty, I have to make the choice between what I want, and what is best for my country. You are free. You always have been." She stood up, still facing the skyline and the desert beyond. "And you always will be. But now I have to make a sacrifice. It is I who must choose to do what is right, not what is selfish."

"Ashe—I—"

"Vaan, don't make this any harder for me than you have to." She sighed, as he stood up to look her in the eye. Turning away, she closed her eyes and bit her lip a third time. "You still mean something to me," she whispered, barely audible, "even after all this time. I don't think I will love anyone else as I have loved you." And slowly, she felt his strong arms around her, resting on top of her shoulders. She could feel it now, the desire--the want--tingling just beneath the surface of her skin, and she could swear she could hear their hearts beating in unison, the rhythm of two souls lost in the moment. Again and again, the same passion would bring them together, fueled by a skin-deep hate, but driven by love.

"Don't." He said softly, as she reached for the doorknob. Before her fingertips brushed it, she hesitated. "As soon as you touch that doorknob," he began, "this will all be over and I will get on my airship, and I will leave with Ada to explore Archadia. As soon as you touch that doorknob and leave," He said as she turned around to face him once more, his hands falling limply to his sides, "this will all be over and we'll just wonder if it was a dream or not." She brought her own pale hand up to touch the side of his tanned face, as if to prove to herself that this was real, after all.

"I can't make the right decision until I let you go." She whispered, "And I can't let you go until I get this out. I love you, Vaan. I always will." As his hand rose from his side to touch her face in response, she took it in hers. "Now promise me you won't forget that."

He nodded in mutual understanding, and bond formed between the two, that kind that can never be broken. He closed his eyes and smiled in that smug grin she knew he still had in him, the wild look in his eye as he prepared himself for the day ahead, a day of adventure and airships. She smiled back, a bittersweet smile as she reached behind herself and with her free hand, she opened the door.