Disclaimer: I'm not Stephenie Meyer. Blah blah I don't own new moon blah forgot to copy the disclaimer from last chapter blah blah blech.

A/N: Depressed Edward rant coming up. Be prepared.

Happy Memories

I was strangely calm. Practically (and soon to be) dead, but calm. The serrated knife that was slashing at my heart time and time again bothered me, but still was not a matter of great importance, really. I knew exactly what I was going to do. I was going to the Volturi to see if they would kill me. If they refused, I would find some way to make them kill me. I boarded yet another plane and as luck would have it, Rebecca was the flight attendant again.

Hello again! God must be trying to make us be together. I have to try! It will work this time, I know it!

I almost felt bad for her. She was so full of foolish hope, selfish desire that was about to be squashed. The one thing she wanted would turn away from her and leave her depressed and sullen. I wasn't really sure if I was talking about me or Rebecca.

"Hi again, Mister Cullen!" she said brightly. I groaned internally at her disgusting thoughts. "I think this is meant to be. I mean what are the odds? HA!" she barked a laugh.

"Go away. Now," I growled menacingly.

"But why? These things don't just happen on their own. I mean, some sort of God must be involved," she prattled on, completely oblivious of how much I would love to ring her neck and toss her body out of the plane.

"I don't believe in God. Not anymore," I murmured instead.

"But, Mister Cullen—!"

"Look, Rebecca. If I wanted to, I could kill everyone on this plane within one minute. And I could do it with my bare hands. I just lost someone very important to me and if you don't leave me be, I will kill you first. Do you understand what I am saying, Rebecca?"

Her mouth opened and closed like a fish. She slowly backed away and in the process bumped into the drink cart. I smiled at her, showing my teeth. She let out a little squeak and locked herself in the bathroom. Well, that got rid of her for the rest of the plane ride.

I refused to think about Bella. There was no way I could think about her and not start gasping and screaming. I had to remain calm, unnoticed.

As soon as the plane touched the ground, I was out the doors before anyone saw me. I grabbed a cloak from a nearby store. Volterra. The name sent a shiver of excitement down my spine. Soon this unbearable pain would end. Soon it would all be over. I walked in the front entrance of the Volturi's lair, ignoring the stares of a few people.

"Hello and welcome to Volterra! My name is Gianna, how may I help you?" The receptionist was pretty, for a human but… Bella was always more beautiful than anyone.

"My name is Edward Cullen and I request an appointment with Aro."

"He's a little busy right now but I'm sure—."

"It's urgent," I interrupted. Something in my eyes must have told her the urgency of the situation because she said into her earpiece,

"Alec, please come escort our guest to the main chamber." She paused. "Edward Cullen." Another pause. "Thank you."

Alec was instantly at the door. He nodded to me. I followed him down the long chamber at vampire speed and we were there in seconds. I walked into the main chamber where it appeared I had interrupted some meeting. I completely ignored Jane's outraged glare and turned to the three, majestic vampires standing on the other side of the medieval room.

"Aro, I have an… unusual favor to ask of you."

"Ask away, dear boy," Aro's voice seemed to echo throughout the small room

"Do you want to hear the favor or should I tell you the story first?" I asked, unsure of whether it would help my case or not.

"That won't be necessary." He drifted toward me. I shot across the room.

"I'd rather tell you myself," I said, making sure there was no skin-to-skin contact with Aro. I didn't want him knowing my thoughts. "My…" I didn't want to say girlfriend, it didn't seem important enough. "I left the love of my life for her own good. I left even though I loved her. She was human." Aro seemed surprised that my love was human. And he was pondering my use of the word "was". He knew where this was going. "Something went wrong when she was cliff diving with friends. She… drowned in the water. My favor is that you kill me. Preferably, in some quick way so my family won't look for me."

Aro looked somewhat shocked. Caius looked like he was going to deny what I wanted as usual. Marcus looked… emotionless.

"Edward, I don't know if I can do that. Carlisle would be very angry, for one thing. And I'm sure you would make a nice addition to our little coven here. We could make you happy again, Edward."

"I'm sure," I said sarcastically. "Thank you, Aro. I suppose I'll just find a way on my own. Goodbye."

"I'd say good luck but I'm not sure if that's the right thing to say at this time."

I sped out into the mid-morning sun. The clock tower. I would wait until the sun was directly overhead then I would step out into the sunlight. This was what they would be expecting. And it satisfied my theatrical tendencies. It was ten o'clock. I found a nearby alley to sit in, where I would emerge from to reveal the diamond quality of my skin.

Two hours to simmer in the pain. I curled into a ball and tried to ignore the thoughts around me. They were all too cheerful and happy for my grim mood. The hour and fifty five minutes passed agonizingly slowly. Thousands of memories of Bella's face were swirling around in my head. Bella laughing, Bella looking adorable as she bit her lower lip, Bella's face igniting with a fury that could never compare to mine. Bella everywhere. They say that thinking of the happy memories makes you happy. They lie! I thought bitterly. When you think about the happy things, you think about how they will never occur again. Never, never, never! That person is gone, gone, forever and you're just supposed to think of the time you had with them? What a load of crap. All you think about is the time you could have had, the time you were supposed to have. Every single thing that you own reminds you of that person. Look, there's a flower pot! You think of when Bella dropped a vase. Look, there's a blue dress! You think of Bella's prom dress. Happy memories? HA! All they do is remind you of a person you shouldn't be reminded of. The only things that heal you are oblivion or death. And my only option was the latter.

I stood at the mouth of the alley wait for the first bell to chime. I would wait until all the bells had chimed to step into the light. I wouldn't want people to be distracted by the gonging. I stood still, waiting.

Ha! Cliffhanger! You know, quite a few of you people have read this story, the least you can do is review it! I'm aiming for at least 30 before I finish the next chapter. If I don't get it... I'm not going to post it until I do! No, not really. WHATEVER! Just review! (please) By the way, thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you who have reviewed. Love you all!