''You want me to do what now?'' Dani asked her bandmates.
''We need you to call Lake,'' Quinn instructed on Brittany's behalf.
''Why?''
''Because. We have to go through you to get to Lake to get to Santana so Brittany can talk to her,'' Quinn explained.
It was going to take a little effort to organize and arrange but it wasn't entirely impossible for them to get ahold of Santana. If Dani had gotten close to Lake the previous night the odds were that they had exchanged numbers in the hopes of seeing each other again. If Dani had Lake's number and Lake in turn had access to Santana, there was Brittany's answer.
''Hold up,'' Brittany said as she anxiously began to pace up and down the length of the bus and tried to work out her feelings on the matter. ''I haven't decided if I want to talk to her yet. All I said two seconds ago was that I'm maybe open to the idea.''
''Too late it's ringing!'' Dani hollered.
Brittany's eyes widened in panic and she attempted to go over and end the call but Dani stood up and did a spinny little dance in place, blocking Brittany from taking her cell phone away.
''Hey, Lake,'' Dani sang smoothly into her phone when Lake picked up. There was a cute smug tone to her voice. ''Oh what's that, oh you were just thinking about me huh? Yeah last night was pretty amazing...uh huh...oh yeah...me too...absolutely. Oh you liked that huh? Well next time you'll have to return the favor. Mmmhmm. No I'll be around tonight if you're still here. For sure, for sure, we'll definitely have to meet up then. Just tell me when and where and this time we won't be interrupted...''
Quinn, Tina and Brittany each gave her a silly look as if to say can you please hit on the girl later and get back to the matter at hand.
Dani straightened up and cleared her throat to gently interrupt Lake on the other end of the line. ''So uh listen Lake I have a teeny tiny favor to ask you and it's kind of important and there's a lot riding it….do you think you can wear that Victoria Secret lingerie set you wore on your latest billboard ad when we meet up tonight?'' Quinn charged forward and swatted Dani on the arm. That was not the favor they needed. ''Owww!'' Dani yelped.
Quinn yanked the phone away from her friend and put it to her own ear. ''Hey, Lake, this is Quinn from last night...yeah, me. I'm sorry to break into your conversation with Dani but The Dirty Pinks need a favor and you're the only one who can help.''
Quinn went on, explaining the situation and what they needed. Lake was more than sympathetic and easily agreed to help in whatever way she could. She and Santana may have just been PR but she didn't want to see her hurt like this especially after Lake herself had found something with Dani. She gave Quinn the phone number and told her to tell Brittany good luck.
''This is it.'' Quinn said, ending the call and handing Brittany a piece of paper she had jotted the numbers down onto. ''This is Santana.''
Brittany took the paper in hand and studied it. All she had to do was dial the number and open the line of communication.
''Are you going to do it?'' Dani asked.
''No...maybe...yes...I don't know,'' Brittany rambled nervously. Her head and heart were being pulled in a dozen different directions. ''I haven't figured that out yet. What would I even say? Yes her getting my lucky pick back to me was a really sweet gesture that I totally appreciate but that doesn't just automatically erase what she did. She still lied to me and a huge part of me wants to forgive her but can I? Should I?''
''I don't think any of us have those answers Brittany,'' Tina supplied. ''I think the only way you're going to figure them out is by talking it out with Santana.''
''Make the call,'' Quinn urged. ''Listen even if the two of you don't work out and you never see her again and all either of you get out of this phone call is a goodbye, you still need to do it. Not for her but for you.''
Realizing that Brittany was still debating with herself internally, Quinn, Tina and Dani announced they were going outside to take a walk outside. This was a decision and a phone call Brittany would need to make in private. They told Brittany to take her time and do what she felt was right and that no matter what they would be there to back her up because they were her friends, they were her family, they were her band.
The girls made their exit and left Brittany alone to contemplate.
She was beyond upset but she remembered something Santana had said to her the night before. You could break my heart or I could break your heart, we don't know what could happen or could be but however this ends it has to be better than this beautiful painful undefined inbetween.
Picking up the phone and talking to Santana might be the beginning of the end. She could very possibly come to the conclusion that Santana's omission was too much for her to simply overlook. That would be that and that would be all she walked away with. One single amazing night shared together. That was a possibility. But there was also the possibility that if she had the chance to hear Santana out, if she heard the aching and sincerity in Santana's voice, well maybe there was still something there between them worth salvaging.
However things turned out, whatever came to be, knowing for sure what they were or weren't had to better than being in that undefined inbetween.
She had felt like her entire romantic life had been lived in that space, the inbetween. She had been passing time with people here and there along the way, having a laugh and just getting along but none of them had ever truly excited her or captivated her the way a song could, until Santana came along that is.
Brittany needed to know if that meant something and the only way to know would be to call she concluded as she took a deep breath and punched in the numbers.
It only took two rings before she heard Santana answer.
''It's me,'' Brittany said in greeting.
''Oh my god Brittany.''
''Is it okay that I called?''
Santana's voice was soft and fragile on the other end of the line. ''Of course it is. I was hoping you would. Lake told me she gave you my number.''
''Yeah. Apparently she and Dani had some kind of thing last night. I'm not entirely sure but I think your fake girlfriend and my guitarist might have hooked up.''
''I heard. Lake broke the news to me.''
''Heartbroken?'' Brittany asked, unable to stop herself from teasing despite everything that had been said between them earlier.
Santana let out a airy little laugh. ''No. Relieved actually. Lake told me if I really really wanted to keep pretending for image purposes she'd go along with it until our little contract expired but that if I didn't she really wanted out of it to see where this thing with her and Dani went.''
''So what did you decide?''
''I told you.''
Santana had said she was done with the sham relationship when they were in bed together earlier in the day. Of course that was before everything went down with the handcuffs and the key and Santana's omission. Brittany wasn't sure if what happened between them changed that again.
''When I told you I was done pretending I meant it,'' Santana assured her. ''Even if you and I aren't together I'm not going back to any of that. I can't do it anymore. I never cared about appearances anyway and Lake, she deserves to be happy with Dani. I didn't want to stand in the way of that either you know. This is for the best. Besides I'm sure the tabloids will love it. The end of Laketana,'' Santana joked mirthlessly.
''Your fans will be devastated I'm sure.''
''I doubt it. Most of my fans were cool with it but some of the intense fangirls hated Lake. There's even a Tumblr blog called 'lol Laketana', it updates regularly.''
Brittany chuckled at the ridiculousness of the fact but it died in her throat after a few moments. ''Is it weird that I sometimes feel the phantom weight of you and the handcuffs now?'' she asked, desperately trying to prolong this moment, anything to stop this from being the end of everything. She just needed to keep hearing Santana's voice in her ear.
''No. I've been feeling that too.''
''Really?''
''Yeah really. Every once and awhile I'll even feel these phantom tugs pulling at my wrist.''
''Me too, and it feels so real.''
''Sometimes I'll still look down at my hand expecting yours to be there too,'' Santana said. ''Then I start to think...I start to think 'I should've held her hand more, I should've held her hand more when I had the chance'. I wish I would've held your hand more. I miss your hands.''
''I miss your hands too,'' Brittany said, holding up one of her own to study the pads of her fingers, the lines of her palm. The tiny miniscule creases and indentations. It was starting to seem like they would never know Santana's again, never feel Santana's own hands against hers. ''Thank you by the way.''
''For what?''
''For my pick, for making sure it got back to me.'' Brittany walked slowly towards the rear of the bus again and sat down on her bunk. ''You didn't have to do that.''
''I wanted to.''
''Why?''
''It was your lucky pick...you need your lucky pick because one day whether you believe it or not, you and your band are going to make it.''
''And you know that because?''
''Because you're their leader and it may not be today or tomorrow but you're going to take The Dirty Pinks all the way. You should have your lucky unicorn pick when you do.''
Brittany was supposed to be upset with her but when Santana said things like that, it was hard to remember why. She couldn't stand how even just listening to Santana's soft little breathes over the phone made her want to melt.
''I don't expect you to forgive me or anything.'' Santana paused for a moment to sniffle. ''I don't want you to think that was me trying to buy forgiveness. What I did was selfish and stupid and if you never want to see me ever again I wouldn't blame you.''
''It's not...it isn't…'' Brittany started and stopped, unable to find the words.
''So are you and the girls heading out today?'' Santana asked, changing the subject before it got too heavy once again.
''No, we'll probably spend the rest of today packing up I don't think we'll be up to heading out until tomorrow morning. You?''
''Sam and I are playing later tonight and then I think we're just going to rest up and head out tomorrow morning too.''
"Oh.''
''Yeah.''
''I guess then that-''
''-this is goodbye?'' Santana said sounding all kinds of hesitant and terrified.
''It is?''
''What else should it be? I screwed up, it's what I do, it's all I've ever done, and you don't need that in your life or career.'' Santana didn't sound happy about this but she sounded like she thought it was for the best. Like she had made a sort of peace with it.
''This is how you really feel?''
''I've spent the last four hours thinking about this. This is for the best. I messed up and maybe there's no coming back from that. I broke your trust and that's on me. You have no idea how much I want…''
''You want what?''
''It doesn't matter. I just wanted to talk to you one more time to tell you I'm sorry for keeping the key a secret. It wasn't right and I never meant to hurt you.''
''Santana-''
''It's okay,'' Santana whispered with a sad acceptance. ''I know I'm not good for you. I wish I was but all any of this has shown me is that I'm not. I'm not. You were right to walk away from me, you should just keep walking before I end up hurting you again somehow, someway. It tears me up inside to know that I upset you and I'm sorry that I can't go back in time to take it all back. Cause I would for you.'' Santana was clearly breaking on her side of the phone. ''And I want to thank you. Thank you for giving me something I've never felt before and...to be honest, might not ever feel again. That's okay though. It really is. I know you only called to tell me that it's over, that we're done, that this is goodbye and I'm good with that. You gave me a perfect day Brittany and maybe that's all people like me are supposed to have.''
Brittany closed her eyes and felt the warmth of new tears against her cheeks when she realized what she was hearing. Santana wasn't fighting for her, Santana was letting her go.
Something inside of Brittany collapsed at the thought.
Was this it?
Was this all they would get?
Was this what it came down to?
''Santana-''
''You should go,'' Santana said, her voice cracking with emotion. ''Be with your band and do what you need to do.''
''What about you?''
''I should probably be going too. I won't keep you. I don't want to drag this out any longer or put you through any more. I'm just going to say goodbye okay?''
Brittany swallowed her sob. ''Okay.''
''Goodbye, Brittany.''
And with that she heard the line go silent. Brittany shuddered, completely overcome. She knew this was a possibility she had told herself but now that it was reality she felt like she wanted to cry until she ceased to exist. She hadn't realized how much she needed Santana to lay it all out on the line until that very moment when the line went dead. She hadn't realized how much she wanted Santana to say they were worth fighting for, she hadn't realized how much she wanted Santana to say that she wasn't going to give up on proving herself. She hadn't realized how much she wanted to give Santana a second chance. Until now.
Until it was too late for Brittany herself to say anything because Santana had already said her goodbye.
X
Across the lot in The Make's tour bus Sam watched Santana end the call and toss her phone aside without care.
''So that's it?'' he asked from his spot on the couch.
''What?'' Santana asked monotonously. She wasn't in any kind of mood to make chit chat.
''You're really just walking away from her like that?''
She walked over to a couple of drawers that were built into the interior of the bus and opened one. She pulled out fresh clothes for herself and entered the tiny tour bus restroom to change. ''I'm not walking away from her,'' Santana said, speaking to him through the thin partitions separating them. ''I'm letting her go before I screw up with her even worse.''
''I thought you cared about her.''
''I do care about her which is exactly why I'm sparing her. Just like I'm going to spare you.''
''Spare me? What?''
Santana exited, tossed her dirty clothes in a corner and then proceeded to go straight for the built in bar in the corner. ''Spare you me,'' she said as she found a glass and began to pour herself a little something. She wasn't thrilled about any of this but she was done with bringing other people down. ''I know you haven't been happy and I don't blame you after some of the stunts I've pulled. If you can barely stand to be in a band with me why in the world would she want to be in a relationship with me. So I'm going to spare you the same way I'm going to spare her.''
''How exactly?''
''I don't know but I don't want you to be unhappy because of me, Sam. I don't. You should be out there making the music you want to make, doing the things you want to do, you shouldn't be in my shadow, you shouldn't have to deal with my junk and my screw ups. Let's face it this is just one in a long line of them. Maybe we should both just call it a day and go solo.''
Sam stood up and walked over to stand with her at the bar, but instead of joining her in a drink he took the bottle from her hand, placed the cap back onto it and pushed it away from her, sliding it across the small counter top. He was never opposed to kicking back and having a drink to relax but he wasn't about to watch her attempt to drink away her pain or sadness. ''I don't want to go solo, Santana. This, this band, with you is exactly what I've wanted since we were kids.''
''Yeah well we're not kids anymore. Come on, Sam, look I'm giving you an out here okay? No hard feelings. We're not on stage, we're not in front of any cameras right now so you don't have to pretend to that you want this with me anymore.'' Santana made a large wave around the tour bus though she was indicating more than just the space they occupied. She was talking about their friendship, their partnership and their band.
''There's no one on this earth I'd rather be doing this with.''
''You don't mean that, at least not anymore.'' Santana said with resignation.
''I know things have been weird and messed up between us and I know I've pushed you away because of pettiness and jealousy and I'm sorry,'' Sam began with urgency. ''I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like the spotlight was more important than our friendship, cause it's not.''
''You know what the funny thing is Sam? The funny thing is if I could trade places with you I would in a heartbeat. I'd give anything to be in your shoes. I'd give anything to be left alone and not have some camera shoved in my face every five minutes. I'd give anything to be able to walk down the street without someone stopping me for a picture or autograph. I'd give anything if I could just make my music and make a living and live my life in peace. I know from your point of view it probably looks really exciting and glamorous being the one everyone wants a piece of but it's just a pain in the ass most of the time.''
Sam nodded in acknowledgment. ''I never really thought about the toll it was taking on you. I guess I just thought...I don't know. I guess I just thought it was all fun and games, being in the spotlight.''
''It's not.''
''I'm starting to get that, I really am and I hate that you've had to deal with any of that. But I don't want to go solo,'' he stated yet again. ''What I want is to make things right between us. I want us to be like we were before. Before all the money and all the fame and all the fake supermodel girlfriends came into the picture.''
''I heard that!'' Lake shouted down from the upper level.
Santana and Sam laughed together, their shoulders rising and falling with ease. There was a lightness now between them in the air.
''I promise from this point on the only thing I'm going to worry about is me and you and the music,'' Sam said earnestly. ''Because that's all that matters to me.''
''Do you really mean that?''
''Of course I do. I'm in this with you, Santana.'' Sam placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder and pulled her in. ''I've always been in this with you. I got distracted for a little bit but that's always been true. The Make has always been me and you and one day when we're old and grey I want to look back at all the shows we did, all the music we made, all the epic shit that hasn't even come yet, I want to look back on it all and know I did it with my best friend. I'm in this with you until the end.''
Santana's eyes were watery again though this time they were filled with a tiny glimmer of hope. ''Until the end?''
''Until the end. I want us to be iconic together. Like, like, like Garfunkel and Oates.''
Santana closed her eyes and smiled. ''I think you mean Simon and Garfunkel.''
''Nope, Garfunkel and Oates.''
''Then you mean Hall and Oates?''
''No I'm telling you, it's Garfunkel and Oates!'' he shouted with loud and hearty laughter.
This doofus. This is the doofus Santana so missed and in this moment as they joshed around with each other, it felt good to have him back.
''But seriously,'' Sam carried on after his chuckles faded away. ''I'm not going anywhere and unless you really feel like you need too, I hope you're not going anywhere either. I'm not just going to be a better band mate, I'm going to be a better friend too.''
''Me too.''
''And as a better friend I'm going to say this to you: don't let Brittany go without a fight.''
Santana shook her head about. ''We're back to this again? I am all for getting me and you back on track, Sam, but that? That's over. Brittany doesn't need me, let alone want me. Why do you care anyway?''
''Because I'm your friend and if you didn't care about her, if you didn't love her you wouldn't be trying to drown your pain in this.'' Sam dipped his head, motioning down to the drinking glass Santana was nursing. ''Look I'm not going to push you towards anything because it's your life and your call. All I'm going to say is you seemed more alive with Brittany in one day than you have in this entire past year we've been on the road. Until yesterday you were shut down and dragging but when you're with her...it's like she brought you back to life.''
With that Sam gave her a supportive encouraging look and stepped away, retreating up to the second level of the bus and leaving Santana to stand alone with nothing but her thoughts for company.
She set her drink on the counter and pushed what little that was left of it away.
She saw and heard what Sam was trying to convey to her but she didn't feel like there was anything she could do to make it up to Brittany, to right her wrong, to truly express how she felt and what she felt.
She had all of the passion, all of the emotions, she just didn't have those words. She wasn't sure words would ever be enough.
She slunk her way over back to the couch and collapsed onto it. With her elbows on her knees, her hands went to rake through her hair in frustration as she stared down at the bus floor.
X
''Why is it that we're over here doing all the grunt work while your ass is relaxing and what-texting?'' Quinn hollered over at Dani.
Under the late afternoon sun The Dirty Pinks were loading their gear into their storage trailer. They had been organizing and sorting their cables, instruments and amps when Dani paused what she was doing to take a seat on a huge hard case and began texting for several minutes.
''I'm talking to Lake,'' Dani informed with them. ''We're making plans.''
''Well while you're taking your sweet time making sex plans with your new girlfriend Quinn and I are over here busting our ass moving your stack!'' Tina grunted as she and Quinn pushed Dani's huge Fender amp into the storage container.
''You two need to calm yo tits,'' Dani said playfully as she hopped back up and slid her phone into her back pocket. ''It wasn't like that.''
''Uh huh.''
''Sure.''
Dani laughed. ''Okay it was sort of like that. But she also said that next month she has a week off between photoshoots and asked me if I wanted to maybe go hang out with her somewhere.''
''Somewhere like where?'' asked Quinn.
''Somewhere like her private villa in France,'' Dani said with a chipmunk smile.
''Ugh lucky.'' Tina sighed.
''But I told her I wasn't sure and that me and you guys had actually talked about going off and doing our own mental health break thing before any of this. So she said if I wanted to I could bring all of you guys too.''
''You're serious?'' Tina shouted and dropped Quinn's snare drum.
''For real?''
''She said there's plenty of room,'' Dani answered. ''And that we wouldn't even have to worry about ticket prices because she only travels by private jet.''
''Looks like you've scored yourself a sugar momma Dani,'' Tina cracked.
''It's not like that. I mean, I really really like her,'' Dani said turning serious. ''Not because of who she is or what she can do but because she's actually a really cool chill person...I just hope she likes me.''
Quinn went to pat Dani on the shoulder. ''I'm pretty sure she does.''
''How would you know?''
''If you were just a fling to Lake I highly doubt she would have bothered to invite the rest of your band to hang out and spend a week with her in her villa,'' Quinn reasoned.
Dani considered that and found herself smiling. It did seem like Lake was really making the effort to get to know her and her friends.
''If Quinn's in to go, I'm definitely in,'' Tina said in regards to Lake's vacation invitation.
''Oh I'm totally in,'' Quinn announced. ''Free trip to France? Hell yes.''
''What about Brittany though,'' Dani wondered. ''You think she'll be game to come too?''
Quinn shrugged. ''I don't know. Maybe? But if she and Santana work things out she might want to do her own thing. I guess it probably depends on if the two of them sort their junk out.''
''Do you think they will?'' Tina asked.
''I hope so,'' Quinn said. ''I think in their own weird way they're really good for each other. Brittany's spent years making this band her priority and we've had some good times and I hope this next chapter will be an amazing run for all of us but maybe it's time she makes a little space in her heart for something else. For someone else. Maybe that someone else turns out to be Santana Lopez.''
Dani squinted off in the distance at a figure walking in their direction. ''Welp, we're about to find out. Brittany's here.''
They waited in silence for a few moments until Brittany arrived to stand before them. She looked around the area and at their gear spread out before them.
''So,'' Brittany began. ''How are we doing? Need a hand with that?'' she motioned to a keyboard nearby they were prepping to move.
Tina waved her hand about dismissively. Who cared about the keyboard. ''How did it go?'' she asked eagerly.
''Did you call her?'' Dani asked.
''And if you did, did you guys make up?'' Quinn piled on the last of the questions.
Brittany shook her head at them and gave them all an empty smile. ''I called her and we talked but…''
''But?'' Tina encouraged her to go on.
''But we just ended up saying goodbye.'' Brittany put on a brave face and tried to play it off casually. If it was over then it was over and she wasn't going to dwell on it, she would keep marching on with her band even if it was breaking her on the inside. ''We made peace with a few things, she apologized and I accepted it. Still though we both faced the fact that we had one great night but that's all it was and that's where we're going to leave it.''
Tina made a sympathetic frowny face. ''Oh Britt.''
''I'm so sorry,'' Quinn sighed.
''Me too,'' Dani added.
''Hey it's okay.'' Brittany let out a false laugh and started helping them move their gear. ''It is what it is. She and I had one amazing night together but let's be real, even if the key thing hadn't happened Santana and I would have never worked out anyways you know? She's always on the road, I'm always on the road, we'd never see each other. Turning our one night into a relationship was a nice idea but a total pipedream. We both have way too much on our plates to truly commit ourselves to something like that.''
''You sound...like you're okay with that,'' said Tina.
''I am or I will be,'' Brittany insisted though it was obvious she wasn't quite there yet. ''Besides you guys told me that we started trending and I actually had a couple of press people email me about wanting to set up some last minute interviews today before we leave. Now that we finally have a little buzz we really have to focus and use it. We need to up our social media presence, say yes to every interview that comes our way and just hit it hard while everyone's interested in us. My night with Santana Lopez was...wonderful and exciting and I'll probably remember it for the rest of my life but The Dirty Pinks is my life and that's enough for me.''
Quinn, Dani and Tina looked to each other, casting uncertainty expressions. They knew Brittany well enough to know she was fibbing about being perfectly content with how things were unfolding but none of them had the heart to call her out on it. They couldn't, not when it was so abundantly clear to them that Brittany was devastated even if she refused to admit it out loud to them or herself.
X
Several hours later after the sun had set and Coachella lit itself up with bright lights Santana and Sam had made their way back to the main festival grounds to prep for their performance. It was what they were here for after all, to headline the final night.
Together they had given a few short ten minute interviews to a few entertainment reporters from NME, Spin and Rolling Stone. They had done a quick check to make sure the tech and sound people had rolled out and set up their gear properly and to their liking and now they were currently standing about backstage waiting for the clock to turn 9:30 so the show could begin.
''This is amazing,'' Sam said as he took a peek out at the crowd that truly seemed to go on for miles.
Santana's enthusiasm was weak in comparison. ''I guess so.''
He turned to face her. ''You're not excited?''
''No-yes-of course.'' She stumbled over her words. ''We've worked really hard to get here and I know this is a big deal and I'm glad you and I are standing here together I just wish…''
Sam raised an eyebrow and finished her thought. ''You just wish Brittany was here too?''
''Doesn't matter.''
Sam lifted a shoulder and looked back out at the giant roaring crowd. ''Maybe she is...out there somewhere in the crowd I mean. Who knows.''
''Who knows,'' Santana repeated as she joined him and taking a long and contemplative look out at the sea of people waiting for them to walk out on stage.
Sam's took her hand within his and gave it a reassuring squeeze before declaring that it was time.
It was time for their show to begin.
''Let's do this,'' he said.
Together they walked out onto the huge expansive main stage but parted midway as Sam went to his designated area where his gear was set up. The Make's sound was largely electronic and thusly Sam's station was filled with several samplers, sound modules and a couple of MIDI keyboards. On Santana's side of the stage was nothing but a mic stand, her gold top Les Paul on its stand and a wall of Marshall amps. Their setlist really only required live guitar for a handful of songs and in truth the abundance of amps was overkill but The Make was about image, they did everything over the top.
Behind them there was a large jumbo screen on which they were being broadcast on so that even the people hundreds of feet away from the stage could enjoy the show. Occasionally the screen would transition into their band logo in huge sleek blocky letters only to fade back into the live feed. The crowd went wild when the camera focused on Santana who stood behind her mic and simply pointed at Sam who launched the electronic beat that led them into their opening number.
The concert goers roared as the show began and they didn't let up even after Santana and Sam worked their way through the first half of their show. For her part Santana did her thing, laying down her vocals into the mic and strutting her way up and down and side to side of the stage in her signature all black outfit. She gave the crowd that familiar dreamy lead singer swagger she was most known for while Sam worked his magic with the beats and the synths, pressing buttons and hitting keys and making sure everything happened perfectly on time.
They were on. They were feeling it. They were in top form and riding that musical high.
Between songs they managed to trade several grins with each other, happy and relieved to have put everything else aside so they could once again enjoy making music as a duo. There was a comfort and solidarity there now that had been missing for so long. This had been their dream since they were kids and now they were living it, together and with everything that had transpired the day before they had a new appreciation for it.
It was like once they had found the joy again in their friendship they in turn were able to find the joy again in the music and it translated on stage, and it was beautiful.
They moved their way down the set list, knocking each number out of the park, nailing each performance with precision and focus until the were both covered in a light sheen of sweat brought on from the intense stage lights and the physicality of playing live. It was when they reached their last song of the evening that they took a moment to relax on stage and catch their breath.
Sam leaned against his gear and watched as Santana began to address the crowd. She spoke into her mic as she walked herself back towards center stage.
''How's everyone doing tonight?'' she asked. The crowd responded with jubilant shouts. ''Yeah? How about everyone give it up for Sam doing what he does best over there huh.'' Again the crowd shouted their praise and Sam lifted a hand to wave at their screaming fans in acknowledgement.
He then leaned forward to speak into his own mic. ''I think I speak for Santana and I both when I say thank you guys for coming and spending your last night here with us. I don't know about you all but I don't think I'll ever forget my first Coachella experience.''
''Yeah me either,'' Santana admitted to the mass of people in front of her. ''Mine has been a little bit of a messy adventure.''
Despite her frustration with all of the lights and cameras and constant pressure that came with fame, there was still nothing like the connection she felt with fans when she was on stage. For some reason on this night she decided to lay herself bare to them.
Because perhaps Sam was right. Maybe Brittany was somewhere out there in the crowd and if she was and if this was the last time they would ever be in the same place together then this would be her last chance to say something, to pour her heart and soul out once and for all, maybe ever. Brittany had to be out there somewhere and this might be the only way to reach her.
''I felt something here that I've never felt before,'' Santana carried on, her words carrying a weight and vulnerability to them. ''I felt something real and I have to say when you live this kind of life, this kind of musical nomad life where you're in a different city every night, with a new crowd every night, it can get lonely out there on the road. Things start to get blurry, and you can never tell what's real or who's real and after awhile you even start to question if you're real. So finding something real here in the middle of all of this…'' Santana made a gesture out to the crowd, to the festival grounds, to the lights and various attractions scattered throughout the entire event. ''It was kind of a miracle. Or maybe it was just stupid luck. Stupid luck and a set of handcuffs.''
Sam smiled softly from across the stage as he realized what she was doing.
''I don't know. I guess what I'm trying to say is if you ever get the chance, if you ever come across something real with someone don't do anything to screw it up.'' At this point she had nothing to win and nothing left to lose. So why not, she thought, why not speak her truth. Why not risk everything. ''If you've been online at all today then you probably know who I'm talking about. I don't know if she's out there or not but, she was more real to me than anything I've ever known. She's probably somewhere else by now, but just in case she isn't….this one is for you Brittany. I knew you for one day and that's all I needed, I was ready and willing to spend the rest of my life writing love songs for you. Even if we're not together, even if we never see each other ever again I'll probably still spend the rest of my life writing love songs for you. Because that's what you deserve, a love song every single day for the rest of your days and I know if you just gave me one more chance you'd see no one could write a love song for you like me. I would give you the best, most beautiful, most real, most profound things inside of me. You would hear what I felt for you in every chorus, in every note, in every hook. If you just give me one more chance, if you just let me show you what I'm made of I promise I'll love you with everything I am or will ever be. Brittany. Now... I ruined your set last night...so why don't you come and ruin mine.''
Before she knew what was happening the audience began to chant. ''Brittany, Brittany, Brittany!'' Again and again and again they rallied on Santana's behalf. Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of voices rang out and up into the air, getting louder and stronger as they carried on calling out. ''Brittany, Brittany, Brittany!''
And with that, Sam began the electronic intro of their final song, their biggest hit. He shot Santana a grin and a thumbs up from across the stage. I'm here for you and I'm proud of you he seemed to say without words. Santana bowed her head in acceptance and appreciation of that before she grabbed the mic and listened for her cue to come in.
''She got loved up on the seashore
Kissing with a girl she never met before
Food was sparse but the drink was plenty
Jane was sixteen and Jill had just turned twenty
Lying there on the midnight sand
She said she'd give her the sky if she held her hand
She counted every star in the sky and said
I-I don't want that I want you instead
I want you instead
I want you instead
I want you
I want you instead''
X
Brittany and the rest of The Dirty Pinks had found themselves in a large tent that was functioning as a lounge and bar area for festival patrons. It was littered with trendy little couches and sleek stools and chairs as people drank and chatted away at tables and in corners. They had found themselves gathered around a small low table that was host to several different bottles Quinn, Dani and Tina had accumulated over the past hour.
They weren't going too crazy but they had all thought a few drinks called for. Something big was happening online, they were no longer just trending, they were on their way to becoming something more. Quinn and Tina had fielded a few calls from their manager who had talked to some numbers people at the label who said they were seeing definite and significant spikes in online sales of their album. Not only that it appeared several notable news and media outlets had written up short but supportive blurbs about The Dirty Pinks being the new buzzy band on the scene thanks to their odd and unconventional live collab with one half of The Make. They were getting traction their manager said. They hadn't really had anything on the slate beforehand with everything being so up in the air but after this he had managed to acquire them a handful of slots at a couple of different events and parties for the following week. Not all of them were huge but they were a stepping stone he insisted.
The Dirty Pinks felt like things were definitely beginning to spin in the right direction for them and while they still had a long ways to go and a lot of work to get there, their Coachella appearance had been a success and that was worth celebrating which is why they were all relaxing with a drink or two or five.
At least Dani, Tina and Quinn were. Brittany on the other hand had tried to put on a happy face about it all but her enthusiasm was weak. It was hard to celebrate when her heart was breaking. As glad as she was to finally feel like she had done right by her band everything that had happened with Santana just weighed her down.
It certainly didn't help when off in the distance they heard The Make take the stage to begin their set as headliners. Even from so far away they could hear everything so clearly and when Brittany heard Santana's voice she had to close her eyes. It was too much for her to take, to hear Santana's warm, deep, dreamy, painfully beautiful singing.
As if sensing Brittany's hurt Dani reached over from her seat and placed a hand on Brittany's shoulder.
Brittany shook her head and looked down at her wrist. ''She did look good in my jacket didn't she?''
''Britt, it's not too late,'' said Dani.
''It's okay, I'm fine,'' Brittany said unconvincingly. ''Besides I-''
''...I guess what I'm trying to say is if you ever get the chance, if you ever come across something real with someone don't do anything to screw it up,'' Santana said off in the distance. Her words floating over the entire festival and yet, it was only Brittany they were being directed to. ''If you've been online at all today then you probably know who I'm talking about. I don't know if she's out there or not but, she was more real to me than anything I've ever known. She's probably somewhere else by now, but just in case she isn't….this one is for you Brittany. I knew you for one day and that's all I needed, I was ready and willing to spend the rest of my life writing love songs for you. Even if we're not together, even if we never see each other ever again I'll probably still spend the rest of my life writing love songs for you. Because that's what you deserve, a love song every single day for the rest of your days and I know if you just gave me one more chance you'd see no one could write a love song for you like me. I would give you the best, most beautiful, most real, most profound things inside of me. You would hear what I felt for you in every chorus, in every note, in every hook. If you just give me one more chance, if you just let me show you what I'm made of I promise I'll love you with everything I am or will ever be. Brittany. Now I ruined your set last night...why don't you come and ruin mine.''
Brittany looked to Quinn, Tina and Dani who each had smiles tugging at their lips.
Even if they hadn't managed to hear any of that there was no way they wouldn't hear what came next because what came next was tens and tens of thousands of people chanting Brittany's name over and over and over again until the beginning of You Instead began, drowning the crowds screams out.
''Oh my god,'' Tina laughed in amazement.
The four of them jumped out of their seats and exited the tent and there off in the distance they saw the main stage and the jumbo screen where Santana was being broadcast. She was looking right into the camera and for a second Brittany felt like she was looking directly at her. From behind, Quinn, Tina and Dani nudged her forward.
''What?'' Brittany turned to look at her band mates.
''You have to go,'' Quinn told her.
''Go, what, where?'' Brittany asked.
''To Santana,'' Tina added with an eager nod.
''We all know you want to,'' said Dani who gave her another gentle push.
There was really no use in denying it then as Brittany took yet another step forward, so drawn towards Santana's voice.
''This is crazy,'' she said.
''When isn't love crazy?'' Dani countered with encouragement.
Brittany started making her way through the thin, sparse clusters of people nearby. Little by little she inched closer and closer to the stage but of course the further she went the more difficult it was to make progress. The closer she got to the concert the more crowded it became, the more crowded it became the harder it was to push forward. While she knew it wasn't intentional she got a little peeved when she felt an elbow in her side or a bump of her shoulder from a random concert goer. At this speed and in these conditions she wasn't sure if she would be able to make it up to the stage in one piece. There was a sea of people standing between her and Santana making it nearly impossible.
But then she felt a hand reach out and take hold of her shoulder. Brittany turned to see a familiar face at her side. Finn, the doofy stage hand, stood beside her. He was wearing his reflective vest with his Event Staff tee shirt beneath it. He gave her a lopsided smile at her in recognition and then pulled his walkie talkie from his belt.
"It's Finn here in the crowd,'' he said into the device, presumably talking to someone further up working the crowd barrier at the main stage. ''I have eyes on Brittany. I'm bringing her up to the barricade, get ready." He clipped his walkie back onto himself and then offered her his hand. Brittany nodded at him in thanks and took it.
And then with Finn working as her buffer he pushed and nudged his way through people, making sure she was safe and secure behind him, protecting her from being swallowed up by the crowds. He created a path for her to follow and then after that he even gave her a short piggy back ride until they hit a point in the crowd where it was hard to get people to disburse for them. At that point he brought her down and told her it was as far as he could go.
''But how am I supposed to go the rest of the way?'' she asked.
''Here.'' Finn gave her a boost up into the air.
''Whoa, what are you doing?''
''Don't worry I'll walkie ahead and make sure someone gets you on the other side!'' he hollered. ''Right now you have to trust the crowd, they'll get you there.''
And sure enough she felt hands reach up from beneath her, holding her up and supporting her. With the help of the concert goers she was quite literally floating towards the stage. They were carrying her towards Santana she realized with relief. She travelled that way for a short period of time before she finally found herself at the crowd barrier separating the fans from the main stage. There she found herself being helped across the waist high gate by a couple of men in Security shirts.
Once her feet were on the ground she looked up to see Santana staring down at her. The very next second Santana dropped her mic and jumped off the stage down to the walkway below just as Brittany started to climb up onto it. They ran to each other, pulling each other into an embrace as they met in the middle and kissed with a hungry kind of intensity. It lasted for the rest of the song, Sam had to pick up the vocals and finish it off on his own and yet he was happy to do so as he watched Santana and Brittany spin and kiss and kiss and spin in place. All of it of course was captured and broadcast onto the jumbo screen on the stage.
''I'm sorry,'' Santana said between gasps for air once they pulled away from each other.
''I know but it doesn't matter now,'' Brittany said, shaking her head about frantically. ''Did you really mean all that stuff you said to the crowd?''
''Of course I did. I promise I'll never lie or hide anything from you ever again. I know the odds are stacked against us and maybe we both have a lot of work to do on ourselves and with our bands and maybe the fact that we're from two different genres-''
''Screw genres!'' Brittany declared. ''I want to give this a chance, Santana. It isn't about what you deserve or what I deserve or who isn't good for who or what genre either of us are from, it's about what we want and I want to give us a chance. Me and you.''
''Me and you?''
''No handcuffs, no keys, no weirdo life coaches, no fake girlfriends, none of that, and the only thing we need to give each other going forward is honesty…''
''Honesty?''
''And three orgasms every time.''
Santana grinned. ''I think I can do that.''
''Which part? The honesty or the orgasms?''
''Both,'' Santana laughed. ''Definitely both.''
They kissed once again and the crowd went wild, hooting and hollering, at the emotional and romantic scene transmitted over the giant live screen.
With the last song long finished and the show having ended, and with Brittany and Santana occupied with their tongues, it was up to Sam to say goodnight and close the show..
''That's beautiful, that's beautiful,'' he said, clapping in support and then turning to look out into the crowd. ''Alright I'm getting lonely. Is there anyone out there for me?''
X
One more chapter to go!