AN: OMG! You guys! I love you! 103 reviews! XD Song for the chapter is Welcome to the Masquerade by TFK, so as you can see I don't own the chapter name.
"Clary?" Jace asked she had been right next to him, where did she go?
He looked back just in time to see her sinking to the floor, head in her hands, he knew from experience that she was trying to hold back the memories, he also knew from experience that it didn't work.
"Clary? Clary look at me."
She could hear him, but just barely, the sound of her father telling her how useless she was, how she was worth less than nothing, how no one could ever love her, all that was so loud that it drowned out Jace's pleading voice.
Even Jace didn't know the full story, not even Jon and Simon, not a single person knew. She knew she ought to tell someone, but she couldn't. It hurt to much to even think about. She had always just pushed it away, if she could make everyone else believe she was alright, maybe she could be, maybe she could fool herself. But she couldn't. She wasn't strong enough, she was weak, worthless, Jace couldn't really love her could he? Was he just trying to use her?
He put a hand on her shoulder, gently, trying to draw her out of her mind, he knew she must be hearing something, maybe even seeing it. It had happened to him before, it was sort of like PTSD he figured, it was like living the worst moments of your life over again, fun right?
"Clary, Clary listen to me, you're okay. You're safe, whatever it is it's not real. It's not now. Im here, nothing is going to happen to you."
She looked at him, fear clouding her eyes.
"You can trust me."
"No Jace, I can't."
"What?" he knew he should say something comforting, she clearly wasn't thinking straight, but her words felt like a knife cutting through his heart. It killed him, but he needed to take care of Clary right now, then deal with his problems later. It still killed though.
"Hey guys! Mind if I join you?" it was Izzy, Jace didn't think he'd ever been so happy to see his rather irritating sitter.
"Iz! Get over here."
"Oh my God! Clary! What happened."
Jace wondered if anyone was worse at dealing with these things then his sister was, he knew she meant well and he loved her for it, but all her squealing was not helping things. Well on second though it didn't seem to bother Clary, but he didn't know how much more of it he could take.
Isabelle managed to get Clary to her room and into bed.
"Thanks Iz. I'm so sorry." Clary managed to get out in a choked whisper.
"Well you shouldn't be." Isabelle said matter of factly.
"Well I am."
"You want me to stay for a while?"
"No, thanks Iz. I'm fine now." she lied. "Really." she added when Izzy gave her a look.
"You want me to get Jace?" she asked not understanding in the least what had happened.
"No! I mean...no Iz, not right now, just please go." she was almost pleading and she hated it, but Isabelle would not see her cry, she didn't have much dignity left but she still had a shred and she would not let anyone see her lose it, not this time.
"Okay...well just call if you need and thing." she gave a the other girl a quick hug and hesitantly walked out the door.
Clary didn't cry, she thought she would but she didn't, she just sat there, staring blankly at the wall, thinking about things she shouldn't.
Jace was in the training room, beating up a punching bag as if his life depended on it, when Alec walked in.
"Where's Clary?"
"With." punch "Izzy" kick "she doesn't" kick "trust me" punch "any more". Kick, punch, punch kick, the chain snapped and the punching bag went flying.
"You need to calm down." Alec said calmly but firmly. "Iz is in the other training room teaching 7 year olds, shes not with Clary."
Jace froze, "You're sure?"
Alec just nodded.
"She left her alone?!"
"You want me to check on her?"
But Jace was already gone, running as fast as he could, praying he wasn't too late.
He burst into her room and froze, her bed was covered in blood, she was just laying there, not moving, she was still breathing, he could tell because her breaths were short and fast.
He only paused for a moment, just long enough to process what he was seeing. Then he ran to her side.
"Alec!" He screamed, "call an ambulance!"
Alec was already in the doorway, with his phone in his hand, he had followed the other boy as quickly as he could, just in case.
Jace ripped the cleaner parts of her sheets into strips, and with Alec's help stopped the bleeding the best that he could.
"They'll be here any minute. I'm gonna go get mom. She needs to know what's going on. Will you be okay for a minute?"
Jace nodded numbly.
"Jace." Alec's tone was warring,
"I'm fine, go!"
Alec hurried off down the hall.
The few minutes till the ambulance arrived seem to drag on and on for years.
"Clary. Oh Clary, I'm so sorry I failed you. He whispered desperately.
Her eyes fluttered open, just for a moment, she looked right at him and whispered one word, just one word.
"Sorry."
"No Clary! No my beautiful little fighter, you have nothing to be sorry for! Don't leave me! Please don't leave me. Its all my fault! No! Clary look at me!"
She opened her eyes again, and gathering all the strength she could find whispered.
"Not your fault. Love you."
"I love you more then anything in the world Clary. Please hang on. Please." his voice was breaking, he couldn't say anything else. So he leaned down and pressed his lips to her forehead.
She gave a faint smile and closed her eyes for what Jace feared would be the last time.
When the ambulance got there, Jace was sitting there, stroking her hair with one hand, taking her plus with the other, needing to know that she was still alive, if only barely.
Alec gently guided him out of the way so they could put her on the stretcher. Izzy came running and threw herself at Jace sobbing, "It's all my fault!"
"No it's mine." he replied evenly, pushing her towards Alec.
Clary was now in the back of the ambulance. AN: Anyone see that coming? Cuz I didn't...it just randomly came to me and I liked it. What do you think? Reviews get a sneak peek as soon as I get something written to give you. XD Also just FYI I read all the reviews and even if you're not signed in I take your suggestions under consideration. I just can't reply to you if you don't sign in.
"I need to go with her."
"It's best if you don't. We have a lot of work to do on the way." the man replied frankly.
Alec put a hand on his shoulder, holding him back.
"Go get in the car, you're not driving like this. Iz you're staying with mom and Max, don't argue. We'll call when we know something."
Isabelle who was once again in control of her emotions shook her head.
"I'm coming."
"What ever, let her! Lets go! We don't have time for this!"
Jace didn't say anything the whole way there, Alec stopped even trying to talk to him.
Clary better make it. He didn't want to think about what would happen to Jace if she didn't.