Hi. I know it's nowhere near Friday yet, but I've been sick, and I'm bored, and I want to get all of my older stuff posted so I can get to the new. All of these things have combined to give you an early chapter, so I doubt anyone's complaining. Unless you hate my story, in which case don't read it. Yeah...
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"Eeey! Vickie! We missed you, Doom-Doom! Look guys, he brought Doom-bunnies for us to play with!" At the purple archer's jubilant outburst, Doom's jaw could be heard creaking ominously behind his mask. As the dictator ground his teeth and gestured his new and improved Doom-bot army to advance, taking many screaming New Yorkers hostage, the laughing archer's countenance changed to a mask of war, sharp and harsh competence replacing the clown-like grin.
"Avengers, go! You know what to do!" Shouted the Captain, gesturing to the hostages with her shield. The crown of civilians flickered, then changed to reveal an army of Lokis and Lopts, the real captives safely transported across the city to be met by Dr. Banner and the SHIELD response team, who would make sure everyone was alright before they were sent home. As soon as the hostages disappeared, the Iron Man suit came swooping down, signaling the start of the true battle as the Avengers began firing on the now-isolated Doom-bots. As his minions and creations fell to the might of the superhero team, Doom laughed and retrieved the remote from the sleeve of his robes. Pressing a button, he watched most of his destroyed Doom-bots assemble themselves, smaller parts reconnecting to create a giant robot, which promptly began to attack the surprised Avengers.
"Ha! Doom will not fall for your petty tricks, heroes!" Crowed the villain. "Doom is powerful! Doom will rule this city, and all will cower before me!"
"Yeah, not cowering so much, Vickie. Mostly we're just getting annoyed!" Came the metallic voice of Toni Stark as she fired her palm repulsers at the massive mech, knocking it to the ground one piece at a time. Thor had discovered that her lightning only powered the beast, and was therefore using her hammer in a more traditional manner, knocking it down with brute swings as if it was a Frost Giant or a bilge-snipe from back home.
"You will not call Doom Vickie!" Replied the outraged Doom. "Doom is Doom! Doom is Powerful!"
"Doom talks about himself in the third person!" Stark imitated the frankly hilarious dictator as he vainly protested her use of the embarrassing nickname. "So, yeah, historically not that awe-inspiring, Vickie Von Doom-Doom." As she finished her reply, Hawkeye shot an arrow into a critical junction of the massive Doom-bot, then fingered her bow, triggering a massive explosion. Both Doom and Doom-bot fell to their knees, the former screaming in rage. He didn't even have time to escape to his ship this time, for as soon as he got to his feet, he found himself surrounded by the grinning Avengers.
"Hey, Vickie. Thanks for the workout, bro. We were getting bored... On the other hand, you kinda wrecked the park, so we're going to need your credit card info to pay for this stuff. Kaay?" Sighing in defeat, Doctor Doom reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, placing it in the outstretched hand of the grinning Hawkeye. "Holy shit guys, he actually gave me his wallet!" Laughed the assassin. "You're a well-behaved little bad guy, aren't you?" As she cooed at the humiliated Doom, Loki swiped the wallet from her hand, memorizing his credit card information before handing it over to Fury. Who knew when that would come in handy?
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The next day, the team was hanging out on the couch when the wall monitor turned on.
"Incoming message from Dr. Reed Richards. Should I put it through?" JARVIS asked, and at Toni's affirmative hand wave, the image of their favorite stretchy man appeared, with the rest of the Fantastic Four in the background.
"Hey Reed. What's up?" Toni greeted her friend as the rest waved.
"Yeah... What the hell did you guys do to Doom? We got a message from him last night, a letter on vellum actually, telling us that he could never hate us as much as he does you, and that we can consider ourselves no longer his arch-nemeses. Now, this guy's hated me since college, so you must have done something absolutely terrible to him..." At this, the Avengers burst out laughing.
"Well," began Claire, with frequent pauses for laughter, "We kind of... absolutely publicly humiliated him multiple times, once with a cat. Then yesterday he showed up with a giant Doom-bunny and started having a full-on breakdown in central park about our nicknames for him. And I stole his wallet. Other than that, no clue."
The team on the other end of the Skype connection stared blankly at Hawkeye's grinning face in disbelief. "What nicknames?" Came the laughing voice of Johnny Storm, the Human Torch. "Cuz we've called him some doozies, and he just ignores us."
"Yeah, we've unanimously declared him the Amazing Vickie Von Doom-Doom, lord of the Doom-bunnies. Frankly, we haven't even called him all of that to his face, but Vickie and Doom-Doom seem to be enough, combined with the fact that Claire acts like it' Christmas whenever he shows up. Girl likes her target practice, what can we say?" Replied Toni. "She's also hit him with suction cup arrows a few times. We're all mean to him, but she's just cruel." Hawkeye looked incredibly proud of herself at this comment.
"Duude... High five!" The Torch had taken over the screen at this point, and Dr. Richards could be seen in the background, apparently torn between laughter and a face palm. Then their doorbell could be heard behind them, since they were in the entry lounge of their own team space.
"We have a delivery for the Fantastic Four," called a delivery man from outside the door. "From Vickie's Flower Shop."
"Also some from the Cat-Frenzy Pet Emporium," chimed in the voice of a second man. Reed walked over to the door, where the flower delivery men promptly invaded their lounge, leaving bouquets and vases of flowers all over the room. From the top, their massive arrangement looked like the symbol for the Fantastic Four. The second group of delivery men came in with what looked like massive amounts of cat toys and catnip, along with another kitten, pure white to the first one's solid black.
"What the hell? Who is all of this crap from?" Asked the bewildered team leader, stretching himself around the bustling workers to get to the head delivery guys.
"Eh, says here the flowers are from a 'Vickie Von Doom-Doom.'" said the first delivery man, with a not from the other man. At this, Reed turned back to the Skype screen, where the whole team was laughing, but Loki hardest of all. Seeing this, he glared lightly at the goddess of mischief.
"What was the point of this? These are expensive flowers, are you trying to make us think that Doom likes us now?" he asked sternly.
"Wha? No, I'm not trying to make you think Doom likes you. I stole his credit card info and ordered all kinds of random stuff with it. I just thought you might want to get in on the fun?" laughed the ginger goddess, happy to see the results of her... 'work.' At this, the rest of the team laughed. Thor smacked her sister up the back of the head, as did Stephanie, but Hawkeye and Toni laughed and gave her high fives before Lopt kissed her full on the mouth.
"That was lovely, dear, but you should have included me!" He pouted sensually into her ear.
"But sweetie, that would have spoiled my surprise for you!" She blinked guilelessly back up at him with wide eyes and a loving smile. As she spoke, the doorbell rang. "Look, there it is!" Loki bounced over to the elevator and headed down to the lobby where a single delivery man with a small package was waiting. Toni followed, breathing a sigh of relief that her home wasn't about to be invaded like the Baxter Building had.
"Hmm? What did you get? Asked the curious Lopt, attempting to peek into the box in his girlfriend's hands.
"It's a se~cret!" replied the girl, spinning away from his grasp and racing up to her room. Lopt stood alone in the hall, watching her go with a bewildered and slightly frightened expression.
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Loki was upstairs, decidedly NOT fulfilling any of her companions' dire imaginings of what she might be doing. Instead, she was looking with reverence at the contents of her box. Nestled inside the cardboard box was another lined with velvet, and inside this were two rings, one sized for a male, one for a woman. While they looked like a simple set of matching Claddagh rings, they were special ordered for her, specifically designed for their magickal properties.
The main body of the rings were silver, the metal of wisdom, creativity, the moon and the Goddess. This was a basis for the rest of the ring, both because it was pretty and because it was the metal with the closest affiliation to her own power, her own magick.
In the center of the ring, surrounded by the silver, was a band of pure tin, the metal of traveling and luck in travel. Finally, the heart of the Claddagh was made of a carved hematite stone, for grounding and stability.
The rings were only the basis for her true gift, one which she had been planning for Lopt for some time. Once she had finished laying her enchantments, the rings would allow her lover to travel home to his original dimension, but as long as hers was here, would always provide a way back. If they loaned her ring to one of her teammates or her sister, she could even go with him, for the ring would provide a path they both could follow. She had been seeking a way for him to go home for months, since she could tell he missed his family, and had sped up her attempts after Frigga's visit sparked his homesickness to an obvious degree.
Christmas was in three and a half months, and she planned to give him a gift that would outshine all others. It would take that long to lay the enchantments properly, anyway.
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A/N: Stealing Doom's credit card is an idea I took from "Harry Potter and the Trademark Dispute" by Clell65619. This story is short and uncontinued, but absolutely hilarious. Go read it...