White noise and static. That is all Shepard could hear as she watched the Turian woman walk into their office. She looked at her, not taking in any of the details about her appearances other than the fact that the turian woman's eyes never left Garrus, her Garrus, for a second. The blood pounded in her veins, it racing through her veins making her eardrums pound with the force. For every third beat, Shepard's heart failed in its rhythm and skipped painfully, as if she was being kicked from the inside.
The turian woman was talking. Shepard could make out that much through the panic swirling through her and when Garrus responded in kind she looked over to him, catching his eye. She couldn't understand the look on his face but her breathing picked up under his blue gaze. At last the world seemed to come into focus around her, sound slowly bleeding back into her ears but the word she had never wanted to hear if it wasn't being applied to her and Garrus was the one the Turian woman just spoke. ''….Wife.'' the turian woman said.
No, no, please God no, not now Shepard thought as she saw a blue haze start to outline her form. She wasn't going to lose control in front of this woman. She would never give her the satisfaction. One breath…. Two breaths… hold on the third she chanted. The mantra repeating in her mind. She could deal with this; she could deal with this uppity-but-gorgeous-but life wrecking woman that had just walked into their office. She could do this. She hoped…
Garrus had been clamping down on his sub vocals so hard, he was in danger of fracturing his jaw. Did she really just walk in here and say that she was his wife? Was she so arrogant that she had no regard for how he may see the situation? He looked over to Shepard and a trill of alarm escaped him when he saw a blue glow from her body and how she was fighting for control of her biotics. At his trill Sabine's attention switched from Garrus to Shepard and he suddenly couldn't breathe.
''You over there… Human, leave the room so that I may discuss a few matters with my husband.'' Sabine sneered.
''Like hell will I leave my office so the two of you can speak. Ma'am this is my office and I am a detective not some secretary that you can order around as you damn well please. And be mindful of your racist comments as I have no tolerance for that kind of bullshit.'' he heard Shepard say as he watched her stand up, leaning over her desk with her hands flat on the table and how her belongings on her desk shook from the small waves of biotic energy that had started to pulse from her.
''Nevermind then… Detective.'' Sabine spat out, rolling her eyes and waving her hand in the air.
Garrus watched the two interact in silence, too afraid to speak. He stood up from his chair and walked over to Sabine, grabbing her by the elbow and when he touched her his head whipped around at the small hiss of anger that Shepard had let through her teeth as she stared at the two of them.
''Erm, I-I think you should wait outside Sabine.'' He said quietly. ''I'll be with you in a moment.''
As he walked her back to the door, hand still in place on her elbow, he was fully aware of Shepard's current state of mind. He escorted her through the door and into a waiting area and mumbled to Sabine to 'wait here' as he nearly ran back into his office and closed the door behind him. He took a deep breath and looked over to Shepard who was still leaning over her desk, her head hanging down and her hair shrouding her face like a curtain. The cup he had bought her rattled quietly and he marched over to her. He put his hand on her shoulder making her sit back down and swivelled the chair around to face him. He got on his knees and running his hands slowly up from her ankles, to the tops of her thighs, he linked his arms behind her waist and buried his head in her waist, nuzzling and purring to her , trying to reassure her that everything was going to be ok. She still hadn't said a word and he hummed louder to her and sighed as he felt her hands come up and encircle his neck.
She started to stroke his fringe, idly running a hand back and forth the long spikes and when she leaned over him, holding him to her the last of her panic attack she was having dissipated. He cautiously looked up into her face, his knees shuffling back a step so that he could get a better view of her eyes.
''Shepard…'' he purred, bringing his hand up to back of her neck.
He stood up slowly, taking her with him to place her softly on her feet and bent his head down to kiss her. At first she didn't respond as he mouthed his way around her face, breathing heavily on her but as he flicked out his tongue and touched her bottom lip she whimpered and folded herself around his body, kissing him harder, scraping her teeth against his mandibles. He gripped her to him with force as he broke the kiss, staring into her lifeless hazel eyes.
''This doesn't change anything Shepard. We knew this was going to happen.'' He trilled to her soothingly.
''I'm going to go back out there and see what she wants and as soon as I'm done ill come right back to you. I promise Shepard, nothing will happen that we haven't already predicted will happen.'' He said, placing kisses on her forehead, on her cheek and back to her mouth.
''Garrus… Please don't leave me.''
He heard her say so quietly that he had to strain to hear her.
''Never.'' He said, as he tilted her head to the side and gently bit down on his mark.
''Sabine…'' he said as he stood in front of her. She was sitting in one of the waiting rooms chairs, flicking through her omnitool. She was ignoring him, Garrus decided. He cleared his throat.
''Sabine, you wanted to talk?'' he said again, watching her yellow eyes narrow as she tilted her head up and looked over to him.
''Oh, so now you have the common courtesy to speak to me?'' Sabine huffed haughtily.
''We were supposed to meet for lunch Sabine, not at my place of work and certainly not to discuss matters in front of my co-worker.'' He grumbled irritably.
''Your co-worker? Ha! Don't take me for a fool Garrus. I can smell her all over you. You reek of human. As soon as we're married, this filthy perversion you have going on with that human will end. So have your fun for now.'' She pointed her finger at him and smirked.
Garrus growled at her and he saw her shrink back slightly in fear. He had to handle this situation delicately. He couldn't risk hurting her physically and while he was dead set on rejecting her, there was a certain way in which he had to do it in order to avoid any further complications from the Primarch and his family.
''Sabine, would you kindly refrain from insulting my co-worker. I have no problem with you insulting me but one of the few things in this galaxy that I will not tolerate is people like you who judge her based on their own twisted views.''He bit out, controlling his impulse to simply walk away and leave her there.
''Say what you want Garrus, doesn't change the fact that you and that human are unnatural, but for now I will keep my opinion to myself.'' She chirruped before standing up and linking her arm through his.
He hissed at her and pulled away, throwing her off-balance and making her chirp in surprise.
''Sabine, would you also kindly refrain from touching me. I am not comfortable with it and we don't know one another well enough for that kind of familiarity.'' He said, taking another step back in case she tried to hold on to him again.
''We could get to know each other a whole lot better… maybe in one of these empty offices? Come on, skip work for the day and let me show you what you've been missing out on while you waste your time with that human.'' She purred at him, stepping close to run her hands discreetly from his waist down to his groin.
He slapped her hand away, furious at her. He had no further interest in discussing anything with her now. Her touch was lingering and it made him want to take a bath in a vat of acid just to get rid of the feel of her talons. He definitely preferred the warm, soft caress of Shepard's hand any day.
''Do you not realise who I am?! I am practically royalty. I am the Primarch's niece! How dare you slap my hand away as if I disgusted you? Are you so warped from your time together with that human that you have forgotten the ways of being a turian?'' She yelled at him, her yellow eyes blazing with fury.
''I can promise you right now Garrus Vakarian. You WILL be marrying me. You WILL stop fornicating with that human. Why? Because I said so. Because I am Sabine Crassus. I always get what I want.'' She breathed heavily, still pointing her finger at him.
As he watched her rant, only one thought crossed his mind. Silly, silly spoilt little girl. He started to laugh, and the more he laughed the more upset she became.
''Sabine, you are a spoilt brat, who is too used to getting everything she wants. Well guess what? Not happening with me. How old are you now? Twenty right? This can't be the first time someone has said no to you? I don't have time for your immaturity and seeing the way you behave makes me even less inclined to marry you, even if I had no intention of doing so in the first place.'' He grinned and folded his arms, puffing out his chest.
''Now, we have discussed our matters and while I was going to be more gentle about letting you know that I never, ever want to be your mate, your husband… you have given me no choice with your persistence in harassing me with your touch and your inability to take no for an answer. So, on that note, I'm returning to work and you can go back to you Uncle and whine all you want. I'm done here.'' He said, leaving her gaping slaw-jawed after him.
''You will regret this Garrus; I will ruin your lives! I always get what I want. If I can't have you then no one can!'' he saw her stomp her foot on the ground like a petulant child and turned to walk away.
''Nihlus, wasn't expecting to see you here.'' Chellick said as he walked around the desk to greet his friend and offered him a drink.
''I was in the neighbourhood and thought I'd drop by.'' Nihlus said, accepting the cup of kava he was handed.
''You're never anywhere, without good reason Nihlus… spit it out.'' Chellick rumbled in amusement.
''When did I become so predictable, that everyone is always telling me to get on with it or spit it out?'' Nihlus chuckled, sitting on the chair opposite Chellicks desk.
''First off, about Garrus Vakarian, I have put him forward as a Spectre candidate. I realise you might not be entirely happy with that choice…'' Nihlus said as he saw the flash of irritation pass over Chellicks face ''but I think he would be an excellent Spectre with a bit of training.''
''Spirits, Nihlus. Do you just think these things up when you wake up in the morning and assume everyone will be happy in following your lead?'' Chellick asked.
''Well, yeah actually.'' Nihlus shrugged, taking a sip of his kava.
''Garrus Vakarian is an excellent detective and I have him in mind for replacing me as Executor. I have trained him for years now; ever since he first joined C-sec and I don't want that all to be for nothing. Besides, he has enough on his plate at the moment.'' Chellick rumbled out thoughtfully.
''Yes, I believe Shepard is all over his plates lately.'' Nihlus snickered causing Chellick to huff out in shock.
''It doesn't surprise me that you know about the two of them. I saw him give you a particular kind of friendly greeting. I had expected you to cause a ruckus about it to be honest.'' Chellick stated, leaning back in his chair and twirling a pen around in his fingers.
''Shepard is a rare breed of extraordinary. She's not mated to him so I see no reason why I should ignore her existence. '' Nihlus leered at Chellick, wigging his brow plates up and down suggestively.
''No they are not mated, but Garrus has bonded with her and in doing so soul tied to her as well.'' Chellick said, sub vocals carrying a note of warning to Nihlus.
''Aw fuck, now that complicates matters. I suppose he'll end up fighting me to the death or something if I try and pursue her?'' Nihlus rubbed a hand down his face, quite disappointed at these turn of events.
''Yes, but he is set to be married soon to Sabine. You remember her right? At the charity ball? Sprightly, spoilt little thing who threw that Salarian waitress across the hall for stepping on the hem of her gown? Spirits, what a mess that was. '' Chellick grumbled.
He had to take over after the Salarian accused her of assault and Chellick had to try sweep it all under the rug as a favour to the Primarch.
''Seriously, he's going to marry that?'' Shaking his head in disbelief he said ''Garrus would be the biggest fool to go along with that. I'm assuming it's his family that is pushing for this?'' Nihlus asked.
''Both sides.'' Chellick hummed in agreement.
''Well, maybe there is a bright side after all… for me at least. Now I get to pursue Shepard.'' He laughed mischievously.
''Enough! You're meddling with things that don't concern you. I have a lot of respect for Garrus and Shepard and I personally wish them well. So unless you are prepared to marry Shepard yourself in place of Garrus, stay away from her.'' Chellick barked out, his voice stern and full of warning.
''Easy, easy my old friend. I didn't come here to argue with you. I just wanted to let you know about Garrus and the Spectres. Also…here take it.'' Nihlus said passing a white engraved envelope over to him.
''What is it?'' Chellick asked.
''It's an invitation to my Spectre naming ceremony tomorrow. Ill officially be recognised as a full spectre. I don't have many people to ask to attend and I thought you might be willing to. Bring whoever you want.'' Nihlus said, scuffing his feet on the floor. Chellick smiled at him.
''You should be proud.''
''So, anyway. I'll see you tomorrow?'' Nihlus said, clearing his throat.
''Sure. I'll be there.'' was the reply.
Shepard had tried to distract herself with work, but she found herself clock watching. For every minute that passed her stomach clenched tighter and tighter. She was feeling so nauseous at the thought of them together, that she pushed her chair back and groped blindly for her bin beneath her desk. She held her hair back with one hand as she proceeded to empty the contents of her stomach into the-thankfully- metal lined bin. Dry heaving, eyes watering, Shepard gulped for air. Putting the bin back down she opened her drawers to find some wet wipes and cleaned her mouth and hands. Even after throwing up, she still felt sick to her stomach and pulled the bin a bit closer with her foot in case she needed it again.
Surely this stomach bug, this nausea should have gone away by now. She had been feeling ill for days now but this was the first time she couldn't keep her food down. She groaned as she realised that when Garrus came back in, the smell of vomit would be over-powering in the office. She called reception and asked for a cleaner to be sent in to collect the bin and for someone to activate the ventilation in the room to help air it out. Ugh, Shepard thought, she had to call the doctor, as she once again swallowed down what threatened to come back up.
''Dr Michel? This is Detective Shepard. I was wondering if you have any open slots to give me a check-up?'' she asked her when the line connected.
''But of course my dear, shall I ping you with my availability?'' Dr Michel asked, her thick French accent making Shepard concentrate harder on listening to her.
''Please, that would be great. I really need to get rid of this bug. I can't be living with it for the rest of my life.'' Shepard half-heartedly groaned through line, rubbing her stomach.
''I will send you some available dates and times and you can decide ok? Are you well enough right now? You don't sound so good.'' She asked Shepard, concern clear in her voice.
''Nothing some stomach meds and a tall glass of water won't help with for now. Ill manage till I see you Doc. Thank you, I'll be in contact soon.'' Shepard said, cutting the line when the doctor said goodbye.
The door opened and Garrus walked in, he took a deep breath and she could see him grimace from the smell.
''Yeah, sorry about that Garrus. I…didn't feel very well. I have called the cleaners and asked about airing the room out.'' Shepard said quickly, cheeks aflame with embarrassment.
''Shepard… don't be silly. I'll agree with the room needing airing out but more importantly.. How are you feeling now?'' he asked as he walked over to her to nuzzle the top of her head while she sat down.
''Forget about me. H-how did it go?'' Shepard asked him.
''Well, I told her straight out that I'm not interested, no thank you and that it's not happening.'' He rumbled into her hair as she stood up and wrapped her arms around him.
His armour cool against her cheek. Putting a hand on her face and lifting it to face his, she noticed him frown.
''Shepard, you're feeling warmer than usual. Is that another human thing?'' he asked
''Huh..? Oh, yeah, when humans get sick they get a temperature or throw up… well, I suppose it all depends on what type of sickness. I think I just have the flu. Don't worry; I've made an appointment with Dr Michel. She'll see me soon.'' She turned her head to press her other cheek against his cold armour and sighed as she felt it seep through her.
''A-are you going to see her again?'' she whispered to him as he played with her hair lying on her shoulder.
''I don't want to, but my family will probably want to sit down over a meal and discuss things, so yeah….'' He trilled apologetically.
''Oh...'' she said, removing her arms from around his waist and sitting back down at her desk.
''Garrus… can I ask you something?'' Nervously, she looked up at him as he walked around her desk to stand in front of her.
''You can ask me anything Shepard.'' He said
''Do you love me? Do you feel the same way as I do?'' she asked her eyes pleading with him to answer her.
''Shepard….'' He said only to turn around when the door opened and a young Asari walked in holding a replacement bin and some paper towels.
''Sorry for you disturbing you, sir, ma'am. I got a call saying you wanted a clean-up?'' the Asari asked nervously.
Sighing, Shepard nodded and waved her in. She looked back up at Garrus who was still standing there with his arms crossed; a look on his face that suggested that he was deep in thought.
''Thank you.'' Shepard said as the Asari switched the bins and fiddled with a panel on the wall to air out the room.
The door closed behind her and Garrus stood there for a moment longer before walking back to his desk. He placed his head between his head and growled.
''Shepard do you really think….'' He started to say but his omnitool chimed to life.
''For fuck sakes! Can't I get one moment to just say what I want.'' Garrus growled in frustration.
''Yes?'' he said, answering the call. Shepard decided to leave the office while Garrus took his call. She needed to go find some medicine for her stomach which was still threatening to make her redecorate the floors of her office. Catching his eyes as she walked to the door he held up a hand as if telling her to stay where she was but she carried on walking.
''Yes?'' Garrus said as he answered the call, transferring it to his ear piece for privacy.
''Garrus, it's your mother. How are you doing my son?'' Arcelia asked.
He saw Shepard get up and walk towards the door. He held out his hand telling her to stay. He was going to tell her dammit. No wonder she was so insecure and paranoid. He still hadn't told her how deep into her he was, how deeply he loved her. He realised that for her to actually get sick he must be placing a lot of stress on her. He watched her ignore his hand and walk out the office. As the door shut behind her he threw both his hands up in the air.
What the fuck?!
''Garrus, my son, are you still there?'' he heard a voice ask in his ear.
Spirits, he had completely forgotten about his mother.
''Uh, yeah, sorry mother. What can I do for you?'' he asked, his mind stretching to try and accommodate all his thoughts of Shepard and trying to make room to hold an intelligent conversation with his mother as well.
''Well, I did ask how you are, but I can hear now that you are terribly distracted. I have spoken to your father Garrus. I am vehemently against this marriage, so stop worrying.'' Arcelia told her son.
Garrus slumped on his desk, forehead on the smooth metal and groaned. Thank the spirits.
''Garrus, I want you to know that I'm happy for you and Shepard.'' She said making Garrus start coughing in surprise.
''Uh… I... erm... .'' was about all the response he could give her.
''Stop stuttering my son. It's unattractive. I have known for years now how Shepard felt about you, Solana caught on fairly quickly as well. Seems like the only two in our family who didn't know was you and that idiot father of yours. Looks like being blind to your surroundings is something you two have in common.'' Arcelia said, chuckling when she didn't get an immediate response back from him.
''You knew?! Spirits Mother. Do you know how much I have hurt over the years? Why didn't you tell me? What about when we were younger and I brought home all my girlfriends and locked myself away in my bedroom with them, knowing she was just down the hall. Don't you think you should have told me?'' he nearly shouted at her.
''Don't you take that tone with me Garrus. I did what I thought was best at the time. I didn't want to push you two together and it was clear to me that Shepard's feelings were one-sided. If I had told you back then, how do you think you would have reacted? You would have avoided her all together. What seventeen year old boy knows what they want at that age? Never mind what's good for them.'' she said, getting irritated herself.
''Alright, sorry mom.'' He said, feeling properly chastised.
''Whatever happened in the past has to stay there now. It's done. Now, you and Shepard… how serious are you?'' Arcelia asked.
''Mom, I was about three words away from telling her how much I love her when you called.'' He said, grumbling and picking his head up off the desk to swat at a piece of paper that had gotten stuck to his mandible.
''Oh, Spirits. Sorry my son. I take it she's not in the office with you now?'' He shook his head but realised belatedly that obviously she couldn't see him.
''No Mom, she's not in the office with me. Actually I'm worried about her. This morning Sabine…'' he said only to hear his mom hiss through line in outrage.
''That little vixen actually came to your office?!'' she shouted through his ear piece and he winced.
''Yeah, she got here this morning, stormed into the office, told Shepard to get out because she wanted to speak to her husband alone.'' He spat out the word husband, like he just swallowed something nasty.
''Why that little….'' His mother huffed on the line.
''Her behaviour is unacceptable. When we all sit down to discuss this calmly, I'll be sure to bring up how her personality does not suit yours.'' Arcelia said
''Speaking of which, we should be getting to the Citadel in the next three hours or so.'' His mother said.
''Spirits mom! Is the whole family going to be here to witness me getting exiled?'' he groaned placing his head back on the desk as knocked it three times against the surface.
''Exiled? Why on earth would you be exiled? Do you really think I would allow that? No, no son of mine will be cast out like some terrorist just because he fell in love with a human.'' She tutted, clicking her mandibles.
''Ok, fine… so if I'm not being exiled, you are aware that father has basically threatened to take away my markings and ruin Shepard's careerr? Oh and that was after he attacked her!'' he snarled over the line.
''Yes. I will be having words with your father over that. Don't you worry. I will sort all this out. I will see you later. I love you my boy, it will all be okay.'' She said, disconnecting the call.
He sat back in his chair and a warm feeling filled his chest. Maybe him and Shepard could make it? Maybe they could live their lives together instead of being forced apart. If it really came down to it, he was prepared to give up his markings to be with her. Not like he had any choice, he mused. Being soul tied to her meant that he was pretty much stuck being in love with her till he died or she did. He shuddered at the thought of her dying.
Either way… he was so screwed if she ever left him.
Shepard rounded the corner, walking briskly to the pharmacist. She had to stop every few steps to take deep breaths and fight the overwhelming urge to throw up. She got the chemist and explained her symptoms, taking the small bag of medicine. She stopped at a small café and ordered a large orange juice. Vitamins. Yes, she thought. She needed to start eating properly. Vegetables and vitamins and fruits. She broke the packet of tablets, popping two in her mouth and took a large gulp of her juice. Feeling marginally better now that her throat was no longer on fire, she reclined into her seat and watched the people go by.
Lucky bastards she thought, as she saw an Asari and a Turian walk hand-in-hand past her. She rolled her eyes as she realised how nasty she was being. It wasn't their fault that Humans and Turians weren't deemed socially acceptable if they were in a relationship. It wasn't their fault that she felt like she was turning into a neurotic, insecure puddle on the floor because she couldn't get an answer or some reassurance out of Garrus about how he felt. Groaning, she placed a hand on her stomach and rubbed hard, she reached over for her orange juice and stopped when a large turian hand appeared in her view and handed her the glass.
Looking up she saw what she now called 'her Stranger' Nihlus smile down at her.
''Nihlus, good to see you again.'' She said, sitting up a bit straighter on her chair.
''Please Shepard, no need to be so formal. Mind if I join you?'' he asked, only to disregard her answer and take a seat anyway.
''How have you been since I last saw you? I don't see Vakarian around….'' He drawled, pretending to look left and right and rubbing his jaw in demonstration of how he was expecting another punch to come out of nowhere.
Shepard laughed despite her best effort not too.
''He's at the office. I just came for a quick collection and came across this café. Thought some orange juice would be good for me.'' She shrugged and took another sip.
''Hmmm, I have to say Shepard; it is so good to have bumped into you here. I was hoping to see you again.'' He purred, his hand reaching for hers. Shepard pulled back slowly, narrowing her eyebrows.
''You know I'm taken right? What happened the other night, won't be happening again. As fun as it was.'' She said, starting to smirk at the end.
''Fun? I'd say it was much more than that. Imagine what it could have been,'' he said, his voice getting deeper and leaning closer to her over the table.
''We will never know now will we?'' Shepard said
''Don't say that. You'll break my poor heart.'' He said and Shepard snorted into her drink.
Laughing and semi-choking, she took a napkin and dabbed at her mouth and nose, afraid the orange juice that had just travelled up there could be leaking out.
''You are such a flirt Nihlus. But your charm won't work on me.'' She said folding her arms under her breasts and sticking out her chin defiantly.
She smiled when he growled, watching his eyes travel over her form and lingering on the curve of her waist.
''You do bring out the best in people Shepard.'' He leered at her and she rolled her eyes.
''OK, Nihlus, as fun as it is to sit here and play around with you, I better get back to work.'' Shepard placed a credit chit on the table and picked up her medicine.
''Hey now, don't leave me so soon, I just sat down. How about you come with me to the docks? I have a brand new ship and I haven't had a chance to show her off to anyone yet.'' He pleaded with her, mimicking the human gesture of begging hands.
She laughed. Shepard was reluctant to go back to the office. She wanted to get her mind off a few things and Nihlus was a welcome distraction.
''Fine, but only one hour. Then I really have to get back.'' She said, watching him stand and hold his hand out. Shepard shook her head at him, folding her arms behind her back and walked ahead of him.
''Follow me Shepard. I'm going to show you the road that leads to a bright and adventurous future.'' He drawled.
''You sound like that salesman at Rodam Expeditions. You trying to sell me something here Nihlus?'' she asked, waggling a finger at him
''No, Shepard. I'm trying to show you another way to live your life.''
Two and a half hours and Shepard still wasn't back, Garrus was sitting at his desk patiently waiting for her. Maybe she went to the doctor? He pinged her and asked where she was but he when he didn't get a response he called her instead.
''Shepard, where are you?'' he heard a commotion in the background.
''Ah, sorry Vakarian, I'm keeping Shepard very busy at the moment…'' he heard the male Turian say and immediately after that he heard Shepard say ''Nihlus... Stop that!'' before she spoke to him.
''Sorry Garrus, I got side tracked, I'll try be back as soon as possible.'' She was breathing heavily.
The line went dead.