OK, here's the timeless episode of "Who Shot Mr Burns, Part 1"! Thanks for reviewing, Zorua.
Remember what I said about the time Burns kidnapped the puppies? Well, this time he angered the whole town. Basically, the elementary school found they had an oil well. All the students got to choose new stuff. Well, Bart wanted to resurrect the dead, which they couldn't do ("It would be so cool, though." I remarked. "Especially if they resurrected a certain rock star from the Sixties who died way too young, even if that was 40.") but Lisa was able to get a jazz band with an instructor – Tito Puente, no less!
But Burns wouldn't have that. He always claims to be poor when he's the richest man in Springfield, so he decided to pump the oil himself. His slogan for the oil well which bore his name was pretty funny, though. "Building a better tomorrow... for him."
That wasn't all. The oil shot towards our house...more specifically, Bart's treehouse. It gave Bart a couple cuts, but SLH ended up needing a cardboard collar and a wheely thing for his back legs until they healed.
My sister and brother were furious that Burns had acted against them. All the Elementary School staff were furious. Even Dad was mad at Burns. Apparently Burns couldn't remember his name, even though he could remember everyone else's names and Dad wore a name tag some of the time.
Later, loyal lapdog Smithers was fired, for reasons unknown. Moe's bar was shut down because of the oil fumes. The retirement home half collapsed and Grampa had to move in with us.
Finally, the only art shop in Springfield couldn't pay Burns for the excessively large amount of money he demanded for electricity. They couldn't even pay off the mortgage, and had to shut down. That was IT! I needed more art stuff and there was no art shop up in Shelbyville, or anything nearer than the next STATE. The thing was, the art shop didn't even use much electricity. I don't know why they had to pay so much, but they did.
We ended up with having a town meeting. Many people were furious, just like me. But they had guns. Grampa had a gun, in fact, but Mom had buried it in the backyard when she saw Bart with it.
Mayor Quimby let each of us speak up for why we hated Burns.
Smithers began. "He fired me! And now all I can do is drink cheap Scotch and watch Comedy Central."
"Burns cost me my groundskeeper job at the school!" cried the Elementary school janitor. "And I'm too superstitious to take one at the cemetery!"
Grampa stood up. "Because of him I lost my room, my things, and my buddy's collection of old sunbathing magazines!"
Next was Moe. "I lost my bar."
Dad's alcoholic friend Barney stood up. "I lost his bar!" I had to giggle, but then Lisa stood up.
"He robbed the school of music!" she cried.
"He robbed the school of financial security!" added the principal.
"He robbed the school of Tito!" Tito Puente put in.
"He stopped me being able to have a life with art!" I screamed.
"He can't remember my name!" Dad yelled.
"He's causing us all to yell!" Mom said, and Maggie sucked on her pacifier ferociously.
"Look what he did to my best friend!" Bart cried. Everyone looked at Milhouse. "No, my dog!" SLH walked up to Bart, still with the wheely thing.
A sinister laugh came from the door. "Those wheels are squeaking a bit." Burns stood outside the Town Hall, chuckling. "Perhaps I could sell him a little oil."
"You twisted old monster!" Bart exclaimed, running at him.
Burns just smirked to reveal a gun. "I decided to protect myself, after I was attacked in my office."
"D'oh!" Dad exclaimed.
"Well, if Bart won't do it, I will!" I scowled. "You've gotten away with a lot in your life, Burns, but this time you haven't just stolen pets, you've ruined many lives! And you can't get away with it!"
"I'd like to hear from Sideshow Mel." someone else spoke up. Sideshow Mel was Krusty's sidekick on the show, and had been since the whole thing when Krusty was thrown in jail for something he didn't do.
"I'll see to it that Burns suffers from Hell's grim tyrant!" Mel cried.
"Yeah!" added Otto.
Burns' eyes flickered over all of us. "Oh, you all talk big, but who here has the guts to stop me?" Everyone waited. "One more thing." Burns continued. "Have you ever seen the sun set at 3pm?"
It was Captain McCallister that spoke up. "Aye, once, when I was sailing round the Arctic-"
"Shut up, you!" Burns ordered, holding up a remote and pushing a button. "Take one last look at the sun, Springfield!" He laughed an evil laugh as the sun was blocked out by something, then he walked off.
I sat on the steps of the hall for a bit, contemplating the end of tanning and Vitamin D. Everyone else had disappeared. "Oz, I swear that I'll make sure Burns is punished." I muttered.
That's when I heard the gunshot. Burns stumbled in the direction of the sundial. He passed by Jimbo Jones, who was a couple years younger than me.
"Hey, man, are you OK?" he asked.
"Won't...dignify that...with a response..." Burns choked out, then collapsed on the sundial. He'd been shot!
Suddenly, all the townspeople appeared.
"Mr Burns has been shot!" exclaimed Aunt Patty. (We know, Sherlock!)
"Wait a minute!" Chief Wiggum exclaimed. "This isn't Mr Burns at all! It's a mask!"
I rolled my eyes. "It's his face, you idiot." I muttered.
"Stephanie!" Mom admonished.
"I'm only telling the truth." I answered. At that moment, Wiggum had realized I was right.
"I don't think we'll ever know who did this." Mom said. "Everyone in town's a suspect." We eyed each other uneasily, wondering who it could be.
Dr Hibbert was suddenly laughing. "Well, I couldn't possibly solve this mystery. Can you?" he asked Chief Wiggum, who shrugged.
"Yeah, I'll give it a shot, it's my job, right?"
There! Most of the episode is a set-up to this scene, so I devoted this whole chapter to the Town Hall bit. I will make up for it by doing a lot with the second episode.