The emptiness of space shimmered in the glow of distant suns beyond the armored glass. Far away stars and unknown systems turned in their prescribed arcs, without thought to the dramas being played out on the stage of Galactic endeavors. What did those who lived beneath these suns know of the Cheroth system, and the blood that had been spilled to free it from the clutches of the Mandelorians?
Far to the Northern Galactic rim, the Cheroth system had been at the forefront of the Mandelorian's crusade, and had been the last star system reclaimed by the Republic. Countless lives had been lost to free this star system from its tyrannical system overlords. But through sacrifice, and the matchless leadership of the Republic's newest hero, Revan Sedire, the Cheroth system had been freed. But what did it accomplish? Was the Galaxy any closer to peace?
Revan stifled back the anger such questions provoked, staring into his reflection with frost-like eyes. His once bright, cheerful features were twisted now, and his mouth was set in a permanent frown. Revan turned from his reflection, uncomfortable with the dreadful disappointment he saw there. Glinting metal caught his sullen gaze and Revan marched to a shadowed alcove on the far side of his room.
Bastila followed him, head tilted curiously over his shoulder. Amongst all the trinkets, medals and awards hidden in this corner, far from the hungry eyes of any reporters, a single item drew Revan's attention. It was a golden broach, cut into the shape of an Oak leaf. A red tassel of perfect velvet hung from a single loop on the stem. Revan picked up the trinket and studied it for a long time.
"What is it?" Bastila asked, but the phantom would never hear her, "What happened here?" she reached out to place her hand on his. As expected, she passed straight through the memory, and went bitterly ignored by the brooding Jedi. Turning from the reliquary, Revan paced the hard metallic floor of the gloomy cavernous chamber, trying to find some solace in the featureless grey walls. Thick steel columns supported a great vaulted ceiling, its upper reaches lost in shadow. And the hum of the mighty starship's reactor beat like a pulse in the metal.
The door to the chamber slid open, and a Jedi in a dark brown robe strode in. The newcomer's head was bald, shaved smooth and oiled. Like Revan, his face bore the horrors of war and looked more worn than it had any right to be.
"What news?" Revan sighed, and Bastila's heart ached at the sadness in his tone. At first Malak ignored him and walked over to a featureless wall cabinet. Inside Bastila saw a few dusty bottles of deep ambers and rich reds. Malak chose one of the bottles unscrewed the cap and took a heavy swig. The Jedi made a face, gagged, and took another sip.
"That bad, huh?" Revan asked with a small hint of a smile. Malak shook his head.
"Worse." He said darkly, and the frown returned to Revan's face. Malak produced a datapad from inside his robes. "The administration of Governor-Elect Targana has failed. At approximately fourteen hundred hours, a mob a rioters and vagrants stormed the capitol building and put the Senate and Cabinet to the torch. I'm sorry Revan." Malak handed the datapad to his friend, "Lennia Targana was publically executed two hours later in the central plaza. Her head is still on display."
Revan took the pad and fell heavily into a worn leather chair. He skimmed the contents for a moment and let the pad fall from his grip. He rested his head in his hands, and Bastila was shocked to see his eyes brimmed with unshed tears. She knelt next to the Jedi, her friend, and tried to put a hand on his shoulder. She passed through again, and she almost screamed in anger.
"Too much…" Revan whispered. Malak looked away, knowing full well the pain his friend bore, "It's too hard. Why were we tasked with bringing peace to the Galaxy?" Revan retrieved the datapad, "I promised Lennia that if she put in one year as Governor, the Republic would return to restore Cheroth to its former glory. I promised her she could retire to any planet in the Galaxy. She deserved nothing less. Her wife died to free Cheroth, for Force's sake!"
"I remember." Malak said sadly, "A lot of people died for Cheroth. A lot of loved ones."
Revan walked over to the armored window on the far side of the room, and stared down at a rotating orb of bright green and deep blue. The capital world, Cheroth IV.
"Cheroth was once the very model of a civilized star-system." Revan put his hand to the glass and closed his eyes, as if reading the soul of the planet through the Force, "Its people were happy and free, taxes were at a fair rate, and the economy was growing. The government was large, but it functioned well. Lennia was supposed to help restore this place. She sent me a wave-message six months ago. She asked if she should lower the taxes, just to make it easier for these poor people. They suffered so much at the hands of the Mandelorians." Revan laughed bitterly.
"'Let them bask in their freedom a little longer' I told her. We were supposed to make them happy." Revan let his hand fall to his side, "We were supposed to help them… And now we return to this!" he roared in anger and swept his arm over a nearby table, smashing a picture frame to the ground and scattering a dozen reports over the cold steel floor. He held up the datapad Malak had given him.
"A murder every eleven seconds, a rape every nine seconds. Suicide rates doubling every month, violent crime rising exponentially every quarter." Revan shook with rage and tossed the datapad against the wall. It shattered into a thousand pieces, and the dark news it contained was lost to the galaxy. "Within a year, there will be nothing left of the civilized worlds Cheroth had once been!"
"Without fear of reprisal the Galaxy reverts to its basic instinct." Malak said as he approached the armored viewing glass.
"This is it, Mal." Revan said darkly, "The ultimate proof that the Jedi's belief in the goodness of freedom is folly of the worst kind."
"No!" Bastila screamed, "No, that's not right! Freedom is a beautiful thing, Alex…don't destroy it. Don't let one failed world darken your soul." She was ignored, as she knew she would be.
"….then ...you intend to go through with the…attack?" Malak asked hesitantly.
"Of course." Ravan turned back to the planet, "Only the most extreme measures with serve as an example of our strength of will. Cheroth is dead to us now." He placed a hand over the planet and clenched his fist, "We have come for you all."
The war-torn moon of Telebore was just beginning to rise from the opposite side of the planet. It would be night soon, in the capital city. But there would be no more dawns for this doomed world. Reflected light glinted on the hulls of the Republic fleet. A half century of vessels arranged themselves in battle formation over the diseased crime riddle boil that was the capital city of the entire Cheroth system. The voxcaster in his chamber crackled to life.
+Sir, we are receiving a hail from the planet.+ The helmsman reported, +The self-appointed Patriarch of Cheroth wishes to know what offering you come bearing. What are your orders sir?+
Revan and Malak stared down at the planet for a long, terrible moment.
"Please, it's not too late." Bastila begged. She was standing next to Revan, and was desperately trying to get his attention. She knew it was futile.
"We can still turn back." Malak said, "There's still hope for peace."
"There was never any hope." Raven turned from the planet and marched to the far side of the room. There, the golden oak leaf still hung from his board of trophies. Revan tossed the leaf to the ground and smashed it flat with his armored boot. He ground the golden oak leaf into the steel floor until it was nothing but powder.
"All ships, open fire!"
Incandescent spears of blinding white light leapt from the barrels of uncounted batteries, stabbing down at the world below, converging and multiplying their energies. The power of a thousand caged stars coalesced into a pillar of light, thicker than the largest mountain of Cheroth IV. The great beam dispelled the darkness that shrouded the capital city. The skies bathed in light and fire, blooming into life as the awful heat of the Republic's bombardment ignited the air for kilometers in all directions. The blinding lance of pure energy tore through the capital city, leveling great skyscrapers in instant and vaporized tens of thousands in the blink of an eye. Unimaginable energies tore through the planet's layers until they reached the core in a cataclysmic explosion the likes of which the galaxy had rarely seen.
Revan watched the death of Cheroth with cold, lifeless eyes. He felt the enormity of the action he had just taken settle upon him. Bastila watched him, her face emotionless.
"What have we done?" Malak asked, awed.
"We have proven that the creed we live by is more than just empty words." Revan turned from the burning planet, "Come. We have a Galaxy to bring to order." Malak hesitated and glanced back at the burning planet.
"…how can this be for the greater good?" He whispered. Revan turned and offered his friend his hand.
"Trust me." He said. Malak held the Jedi's gaze for a long moment and nodded.
"Always."
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Bastila's eyes popped open and she inhaled deeply. She didn't move for the longest time. She just stared into the dark, her mind slowly piecing together what she had seen. She was aware of a deep, slow breathing next to her. A thick, warm arm was draped around her waist. A body was pressed against her back. She sighed deeply and Alexander's warmth seeped through her tired body. But she had to get up. Gingerly, she removed Alex's arm from her waist Silently she stood up, careful not to disturb her sleeping partner.
The lights of the medbay were dark as befitted a starship during its night cycle. Alexander's wounds had been many, but thankfully none were beyond the skills of the medbay's medical programming. Several of his bones suffered from compression fractures, and the ingested sea-water had ruptured blood vessels throughout his body, specifically his lungs. Bastila studied the man's features in the soft light.
What was she doing here? This was insane, sneaking about at night for a few hours of comfort together. She couldn't keep doing this. It was against the Jedi code, against everything she had been raised to believe. She knew it was wrong, but why did she still do it? What in the name of the Force drove her into this man's loving arms late at night?
Bastila exited the medbay, and stepped into the cold, shadowed corridors of the Ebon Hawk. She glanced down the hallway, back towards the main room, and her bedroom beyond. She doubted she would return to sleep this night. Instead she made her way to the cockpit. Perhaps time alone amongst the stars would help calm her mind.
The green, red and yellow lights of the control consoles danced and winked in the dull light. Beyond the viewing shield, Bastila could see an endless ocean of stars. They were like snowflakes at night, barely visible but just as meaningful.
"Rough night?" A voice suddenly called out. Bastila gasped and raised her hands to defend herself. The pilot's chair spun around, and Bastila was shocked but not at all pleased to see Johlee Bindo staring at her intently.
"What are you doing here?" She asked. Johlee shrugged and turned back to the stars.
"They say the Republic never sleeps." He said distantly, "But out here, amongst the stars, there is an illusion of sleep. A chance to think and free the mind. I close my eyes…the stars do not go out simply because I'm not looking at them."
"Not yet." Bastila sighed and slumped into a chair. Johlee laughed.
"No, haha, not yet."
"Alex is right" Bastila said, annoyed, "You speak in such cryptic language it is impossible to tell if you're wise, or simply insane."
"Mind your manners when addressing your superiors." Johlee snapped back and spun to glare at her.
"Well when a superior comes along, be sure to let me know." Bastila said coldly, "Because all I see is an old man with a chip on his shoulder." A tense silence descended between them. Johlee sighed and spun the chair back towards the stars.
"So, you and the kid huh?" He asked casually. Bastila glanced at one of the many console lights before sighing and getting up. She slouched down in the co-pilot seat next to Johlee and put her legs up onto of the console.
"Any point in lying to you?" She asked after a moment.
"None." He smiled gently, "I'm too old for such games." Bastila slowly nodded her head.
"I don't know." She said, "Maybe. This thing with Alex…it's like however much I'm drawn to him, I'm equally repulsed. It defies all reason and logic. And I'm a Jedi. I should be above this. The Force is my companion in life now."
"You Jedi put too much stock in reason, and the Force." Johlee scoffed.
"The Force binds the Galaxy together." Bastila argued.
"No, gravity binds the Galaxy together." Johlee said, "You want to understand Galactic totality, be an astrophysicist. The credo of the Jedi is just meant to be a guideline. Not even a set of strict rules. Just a guideline." Bastila was quiet, and looked out into space. Johlee continued.
"That's why I couldn't stay a Jedi." He said, lost in memory, "I couldn't be party to the hypocrisy and ignorance the Jedi preached. I watched too many of my friends dive headfirst into wars on planets whose names they couldn't even pronounce. And for what? Meaningless accolades and a chance to live in more self denial. Pointless…"
"And that is where you and I differ, Mr. Bindo" Bastila finally found her voice, "Triumph over adversity, self sacrifice and the capacities to endure…these are noble ideas and the very heart of what the Jedi believe. Yes, sometimes in defense of the Galaxy, we are required to make heavy sacrifices. But we must, because if we don't, no one will."
"So…you have to give up happiness for no better reason than because someone has to?"
"I…that's not what I meant." Bastila stammered, "Sometimes sacrifices must be made. And the Jedi are the only one capable of doing so."
"Bastila, do you really think the Galaxy would crumble over night if you let yourself fall in love with Alexander?" Johlee asked. His tone gave Bastila a pause. He was being serious.
Would it really be so bad? She thought to herself. They could build a house together on some remote farm world and raise a healthy family. Or maybe buy an apartment in the Golden District of Coruscant. She could own a book store, and spend her days reading and educating. Or, Force, she could do anything. She was bright enough, and had drive. She could be a doctor, or a politician, or a pilot. Anything she wanted. And she could be happy, with Alex.
But what about the truth? The Jedi weren't about to let Revan Sedire return to civilian life. He was too valuable as a source of information. And he was too dangerous. The Jedi were a forgiving Order, but not a forgetting one. He would never be trusted again. They would never be a peace.
"Its…not that simple." Bastila said after a moment, "I wish it was…but…"
"Being with a reformed Sith Lord is never simple, young one." Johlee's eyes never wavered from the stars. Bastila felt the color drain from her face, and her heart went cold. It was impossible. Less than a dozen people knew the truth. Dread gripped her so tight she was momentarily at a loss for breath. Seconds, or maybe it was minutes, or even hours passed as she stared in mute shock at the old Jedi next to her.
"I…I…you…" She stammered, "How did…?"
"I'm old, Ms. Shan." Johlee chuckled, "But I'm not stupid. I got two eyes, same as you." Bastila lunged at the old Jedi, her fear and anger giving her speed she never knew she possessed. She gripped Johlee by the front of his robes.
"Who told you?" Bastila hissed through clenched teeth, "Who else knows? If you're a Sith spy, I swear by the Force I will strike you down." Johlee struggled under her burning gaze.
"Easy, easy." He managed, "No one told me. And I'm not a spy." Bastila eased up slightly but still kept her hands tight on his robes.
"How do you know?" Her gaze was still murderous.
"I was around five years ago, Bastila." He explained, "I saw Revan in person once. Back on Hurl'ta. I was still a traveling pilgrim then. I remembered his face. And I put two and two together."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, the Jedi launch a daring raid on Revan's flagship, but before they can kill him, his lifelong friend betrays him." Johlee smiled ever so slightly, "But no body is ever produced. And the Jedi let the story of Revan fade from common knowledge. Suddenly, a new, incredibly powerful Jedi emerges with a soul as pure as marble. He's strong, handsome, charismatic and a Force titan. Everything Revan once was. I can think, young one."
Bastila sat back in her chair and sighed. "Why haven't you said anything?"
"It wasn't my place." He said, "If he's going to learn the truth, it should be from the woman he loves, not some old man with a chip on his shoulder."
"Loves?" Bastila repeated. Johlee shook his head sadly and got up.
"Not too bright are you?" Johlee sighed. Bastila bristled and quickly stood up.
"I know he cares about me." Bastila snapped but then faltered, "But…I just never thought…"
"That you'd love him too?" Johlee glanced at her. She baulked slightly. Johlee put his hand on her shoulder.
"No point in lying, young one." He said. She smiled slightly.
"You're too old for that game, right?" She asked through her grin.
"I'm not that old." He scoffed and chuckled. After a moment, his face grew serious, "The Force is just energy. Like gravity, or magnetism. It's not inherently evil, or good. It's just there. Good and evil come from within here." He placed a hand on her chest, just over her heart. "You found someone who can bring out the good in you." His eyes glazed over and Bastila knew he was no longer just seeing her, "You two won't be around forever. Enjoy this while you can." He smiled sadly, "Don't let it go to waste."
He left Bastila there, speechless and overcome with emotions. The young Jedi sank back into the copilot's chair and stared out into space. No, she would not be getting back to sleep tonight.
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Aboard a ship crewed by current Jedi, ex-Jedi, street thieves and war veterans, there was no such thing as normal. With so many opinionated voices, harsh words and stress locked minds, every morning cycle brought a new avalanche of problems. Sometimes, in the calms between storms, Bastila thought of home.
Well, her approximation of home. She was a Jedi; she had no set home. No warm house to return to, no pet cythar-cat waiting to be fed. No meals to cook, books to read or worn leather chairs in desperate need of someone to sit in them. She only had steel grey walls, identical from one meditation cell to another. How many Temples, shrines, and outposts had she been to in her life? A dozen? Two? Had any one grey lifeless cell meant more than another?
What she missed was peace and quiet. She missed being able to mediate for hours on end, or walking through a garden to contemplate. She missed the comparatively peaceful life of a line-Jedi. Bastila glanced down at the datapad in her hands, and reread the same paragraph for the sixth time this morning. She sighed and put the report away. Alexander sat down next to her, and placed his food tray on the table. Bastila eyed the food. Baked biscuits and gravy. A simple meal; easy to prepare. It had been Carth's turn to make breakfast, and it turned out he could bake reasonably well.
"Hungry?" Alex asked cheerfully. Bastila shook her head.
"No, not really." She said playfully and snatched the fork from his hands. Before he could protest, she pulled the tray in front of her and began to eat. Alex watched for a moment and chuckled under his breath. She glanced at him and smiled sweetly. Alex stood to get a second serving for himself. Johlee and Juhani shared a knowing look and grinned slightly.
This time when Alex sat down to eat, he sought to protect his meal. Instead of sitting next to his deceitful partner, he chose one next to their young stowaway. Sasha looked up from her meal, her second serving, and nodded. For whatever reason, she had not shied away from him.
"Good morning to you." He said.
"Busha." Sasha replied. It wasn't pure Mandelorian, but it was close enough. Bastila watched the two interact for a few moments. To her knowledge, Alexander had never spoken more than three words to a child before. But here he was, sitting comfortably next to one and exuding an aura of calm friendliness. Sasha had taken an instant liking to the Jedi. No one could explain it, least of all him. Carth had joked that it was a shared childishness that drew them together.
Whatever the reason, Bastila was grateful. She had no experience with children and was happy to delegate the responsibility to Alex. The young girl spoke a few hushed words to Alexander and by the look on his face, it took him several moments to fully comprehend her. He turned to Bastila and tugged on her shirt to get her attention. Bastila looked up from her stolen breakfast.
"Hm?"
"Hey, um…" Alex paused to consider his words, "Sasha…thinks…well…that you stink." Bastila blinked at him several times, her face growing redder by the moment. Whether her coloration was from anger or embarrassment was beyond him.
"What?" She asked.
"Yeah, you should go shower." He said, "You smell like fish." Bastila turned back to her food, and covered her face. She clicked her tongue and glared at him.
"I am not going to forget this one." She said, and smirked, "When you least expect it, I'll get you back." She scarfed down the last biscuit and stood. "Save me another serving." She said between chewing. Alex chuckled and winked at her. Bastila blushed and quickly left the mainroom. She took a quick sniff of her undershirt and made a face. Ok, maybe she did need a shower.
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Bastila couldn't help but laugh aloud as the hot water ran down her skin. She held her head under the shower nozzle for a long time, laughing as the water tore away at the filth covering her. Already the washroom was filling with steam. She had the water on almost scalding, and her skin warmed at the touch.
Bastila squeezed a small amount of shampoo from her travel tube and ran it through her hair. She sighed and smiled. Force above, she needed this. Water ran down her naked form and she embraced the feeling. Her hands gingerly traveled to the scar tissue on her stomach. It was a knotted mess of pink and dull tan tissue. She had never been one to consider herself attractive, but still she was upset at the ugly appearance of her scars. She stayed in the washroom for almost a full half hour, thoroughly washing her hair and her body clean of the grime from Manaan. When she was done, Bastila wrapped a towel around her body and, making sure no one was around, dashed to her room.
She found a fresh pair of robes in her traveling trunk and smiled. Her armor from Manaan was stacked neatly in an alcove. It was dented, burned and torn. Later she would take it to the maintenance table in the cargo-bay and repair it. Loathed to admit it, she would not have survived half of what she experienced on Manaan if she wore her robes. Perhaps Alexander was right. Perhaps armor was not as bad as she thought. Bastila blushed slightly. She told herself she wanted her armor repaired for the security it offered, not the looks it earned from Alexander. Bastila quickly ran a comb through her hair, sparing little more than a few seconds on the action.
Bastila paused in the center of her room, and glanced around. With a start, she realized she had free time. There was nothing pressing for her to do. A slow smile crossed her face. Bastila retrieved her journal datapad from its place in her knapsack and sat cross legged on her floor. She spent the next few hours logging everything she had experience on Manaan, including her reoccurring dreams of Revan's life.
Satisfied, she put the datapad away and decided to check up on her partner.
Bastila entered the common room, comfortable back in her Order's robes. Her towel was draped over her shoulders and she periodically rubbed it through her still wet hair. She took in the scene before her and smiled. Mission and Juhani were at the hololithic table, enjoying a board game of some sort. Alexander and Sasha were sitting next to each other, the young girl leaning slightly on the Jedi's arm. Johlee, Carth and Zaalbar were nowhere to be seen.
Her partner was reading slowly and peacefully from a datapad he held. From the look on the young girl's face, it was clear there were pictures to go along with the words. Bastila doubted the girl could understand the words, but the pictures held her attention. Bastila smiled.
"Fantasizing about starting a family, eh Jedi?" A hard voice sneered in her ear. Bastila glanced out of the corner of her eye.
"Unlike you Canderous, I can observe two people having a good time and not riddle them with laser-fire." Bastila replied hotly, "Perhaps is comes from being on the winning side of war. You Mandelorians should try it someday."
"More of that Jedi entitlement." He sneered, "Think you're all high and mighty. I'm the only one here who's seen massed war. Only true veteran of the Mandelorian War. All you royalty types have only heard stories. Invade a planet, princess, then come talk to me about the pleasures of life."
"A pleasure for my life would be to never have to talk to you again, Canderous." Bastila replied and walked away before the Mandelorian could continue. The war veteran shook his head in disgust and turned his predatory gaze on two of his other least favorite crew members.
"The Cathar and the Twi'lek." He thought, "Perfect" Canderous approached the hololithic table and squinted down at the pieces. "Aren't you going to jump her thrall and take the three pieces behind it?" He asked Mission innocently.
"We're playing Chess, not Draughts." Mission said as her hand hovered over one of her knights. She made her move and Juhani smiled.
"Feh!" Canderous scoffed, "My clan never used to play Chess. Draughts is a man's game."
"Funny." Juhani said and jumped Mission's knight with her matriarch, "I always thought it was for folk too thick to understand chess." Mission eyed the Mandelorian for a moment and chuckled.
"Har har, little kitty." He sneered, "If you Cathar could fight half as well with your fists as you do your tongues, maybe the Mandelorians wouldn't have conquered your homeworld so easily."
Anger flashed in Juhani's eyes and she bared her teeth in a snarl. The Mandelorian grinned back. After a moment, the Cathar was impassive.
"Your barb is wasted, warmonger." She said and turned back to the game, "I wasn't born on the Homeworld. Never visited. Besides, if you Mandelorians could kill people who shoot back half as well as you do innocent children and civilians; maybe you wouldn't have lost the war." She glanced up at the stern faced Canderous. "Shoo. Go brood about your defeat somewhere else."
"Feh…women…" Canderous sneered and stalked away. Juhani and Mission shared a look and both broke down laughing. The two had bonded slightly in their mutual dislike of the Mandelorian. Most of the crew had bonded in that way.
"Where were you born, if not the Cathar homeworld?" Mission asked curiously. A dark shadow fell over Juhani's face.
"I mean no offense, Mission, but that's not something I'm comfortable discussing." Juhani replied carefully. Mission held up her hands.
"Fair enough." She said, "Some things are better left forgotten, eh?"
"Ja'…forgotten…" Juhani said distantly. A moment passed, and Juhani quickly smiled at the Twi'lek, "Whose move is it?"
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Bastila sat down on the opposite side of Alexander and glanced over at the datapad in her partner's hands.
"The White Moon of Net?" She asked, "Not exactly a child's story." Alex shrugged.
"It's the only one she wanted to hear." He said, taking a pause from his recitation. Sasha glanced up slightly, eyes half closed. She poked Alex in the stomach.
"Care to listen?" He asked cheerfully. Bastila nodded and rested her head on his shoulder too. Alex returned to the story, and Bastila was surprised at his abilities. He spoke using different voices for each character, added dramatic pauses when necessary, and even faked a terrible Bothan accent. Every now and then, an illustration would cross the datapad and Sasha would take several moments to study every detail. It wasn't long before the two Jedi noticed Sasha had grown still, and her breathing had become a soft rhythmic snore.
"I swear you could jump into a river and come out dry." Bastila whispered, "Johlee spent hours yesterday trying to get her to relax." Alex shrugged and slowly picked Sasha up in his strong arms. He motioned for Bastila to follow and the two walked through the ship silently. The Ebon Hawk had little room to spare, but they had managed to set up a temporary bunk in the hanger for their stowaway. It was by far the largest room in the ship, and offered a lot of deepening shadows in the corners. Gingerly Alex set the girl down on the bunk and tucked her in.
"There." Alex whispered, "She'll be asleep for a while."
"What are we going to do with her?" Bastila asked.
"Carth sent a message back to Dantooine." Alex said, "A man named Lur Arka Sulas claims to have been looking for her, on behalf of her parents. He's going to meet us on Tatooine."
"Oh." Bastila said softly. Alex gave her a curious look.
"You not getting attached, are you?" He asked playfully. Bastila sneered jokingly at him.
"Don't be ridiculous." Bastila said and looked down at the girl, "No, of course not. How…how silly of you to think that." She quickly turned and walked away. Alex lingered a few moments longer and sighed. He had always wanted a family, eventually. He put the thought from his mind. He was a Jedi now. He had a greater purpose. He glanced back at Bastila's retreating form. An itch formed in his mind, something that set his nerves afire.
There was something more to Bastila than he had told Mission on Manaan. Something dark? Sinister? He couldn't put his finger on it. Every day since training at the Jedi Enclave he awoken with a burning headache and half remembered dreams. Flashes of war, and death and fire. Alex wanted answers and he knew who had them.
With each step, his confidence and anger grew until he was outside Bastila's door. He knocked and a moment later, his partner opened it. She was smiling until she saw the look on his face.
"We need to talk." Alex's voice was firm, and broke no argument. Still, Bastila's face hardened.
"I was wondering when this was coming." She said dejectedly. She motioned him into her room.
"I've been patient." He said almost menacingly, "I've let you relax, eat, shower, and we've even napped together a few times. But I need to know; what happened on Manaan?"
What could she tell him? The truth would destroy him. He deserved the truth that much she knew. But she couldn't tell him. She couldn't
"Alex, you know I trust you." She said at length, "You know I would never lie to you." She looked into his blue eyes, "So I have to ask you to trust me now. What happened on Manaan…I…I can't tell you." His features hardened and he jawline tightened.
"I figured we'd get to this point." He said, "More Jedi secrets, eh?"
"Don't say it so hatefully." She sighed, "It's not like I want to keep you in the dark. But I know what I'm doing."
"Whatever it is, we can deal with it together." He prompted, and Bastila felt her resolve wavering.
"I…I…can't" She turned from her partner, unable to look at the hurt in his eyes. An uncomfortable silence descended.
"So you don't trust me?" He said at last. Bastila reeled from his words.
"No!" She protested, "I trust you with my life!"
"But not enough to tell me what's going on?" His eyes hardened, "Not enough to actually do something that matters."
"Please, stop." Bastila whispered
"I was beginning to think we actually were sharing something special." He said, equally parts angry and hurt, "Guess not."
"Alex, please."
"I really thought we could share anything, Bastila. That being friends meant something. I-"
"Force, damn-it enough!" Bastila snapped, "Enough!" She advanced on him, "I don't owe you anything Alexander Stargaze. I was a Jedi long before I met you, and I will be a Jed long after we eventually part ways. You're asking, no-demanding that I break with my Order, my entire existence, simply because we've shared a few glances and moments of intimacy?" She saw the pain in his eyes and regretted her words. She had already broken with central aspects of the Jed by growing so attached.
"I'm not going to deny there is an…attraction between us." Bastila sighed, "But we need to have…perspective. Our mission is…stressful. I'm not going to do something I'll regret for the rest of my life simply because of a traumatic attachment." Bastila felt inhuman. She lied through her teeth, and knew it. It was much deeper than anything she could admit, but she needed Alexander to back off. She needed him to concentrate on the next mission, not her emotions. If she had to push him away, even if she had to break his heart, she would. Bastila would live with the consequences, and hope something could be salvaged after Malak was dead.
"So this is just stress?" Alex asked, "I'm…a, what? A stepping stone for you? Something to overcome on your way to being a master?"
"No, that's not it." She sighed and shook her head, "You make it sound like I'm using you."
"Sounds like you are to me." He said and crossed his arms, "Sounds a lot like that."
"This isn't easy for me, Alexander." She snapped, "I'm not used to this…this intimacy" Her hand reached out to touch his face, but she stopped short. "I feel lost."
"Fine, I'll make it easy." He said. Before she could stop him, Alex wrapped his muscled arms around her slim waist and pulled her close. She fell into his embrace and sighed happily. "See how easy this is?"
Bastila didn't respond. She just melted into his embrace, knees weakening by the second. How could something this wrong feel this amazing? His warmth was so comforting, so enticing. She didn't want it to ever go away. Alex saw her easing up slightly and an idea formed in his mind.
"Bastila, are you ticklish?" He asked. The color drained from her face and she leapt out of his embrace.
"Alex, no." She held up her hands to the advancing Jed, "Stop right there." Her partner paid her warning no heed and leapt at her. The two Jedi fell backwards onto her bed, sinking into the soft mattress.
"Tell me all your secrets." He whispered and traced a line across her stomach. Bastila gasped.
"Never." She managed in a challenging voice.
"Tell me." Alex said half heartedly. His hands danced across her skin and she squirmed. Her eyes were wide in shock and happiness.
"No-ha-ha-ha-ha-stop-ha-ha-ha." Bastila gasped and tried to crawl away. Alex caught her with one arm and held her closer. His free hand played across her stomach, rubbing and tickling.
"You can make it stop." He said casually, "What happened on Manaan?"
"Please-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-Alex-ha-ha-ha-I-can't-ha-ha" She tried to breathe in deeply but her laughter exploded again. "Ha-ha-ha-stop!"
"Not until you tell me." He was merciless in his attention. Alex smiled and kissed her neck ever so gently. Bastila gasped with delight and shock. "Tell me." He whispered. He traveled down her body and kissed her stomach, and traced a finger over her scar tissue. He sighed sadly and kissed her scars gently, "I'll always protect you." Bastila pushed back against him, and stared into his blue eyes.
"Alex I love you." She blurted out. Instantly his hands fell from her skin, and he stared at her, mouth agape. Her hands shot to her mouth, eyes wide with fear. But it was too late.
"You…you love me?" He asked, his tone hushed. Bastila shoved him off of her.
"No-no-no-no-no." She repeated and made for the door. Alex caught her arm and stopped her.
"Wait, please." He begged. She pulled against him, struggling.
"Let me go!" She snarled, "Alexander, let go of me!" He pushed her against the wall, eyes staring intently into her twin amber orbs.
"You love me." He repeated. It was not a question. She squirmed under his strength.
"No. We're Jedi!" She stammered, "It can't…we can't…"
"Bastila, please."
"No! We have a mission. The Galaxy…Malak…if he finds out…" She grasped for any possible escape from this situation.
"This isn't about Malak. Or the Jedi." Alex protested, "This is just you and me. Together."
"Together?" Bastila breathed. The word was so enticing, so exciting. She reached out and touched his cheek. Reason and restraint bled from her thoughts and she pulled his face to hers. Their lips met in a burning, passionate kiss. Bastila poured everything she could into that kiss. This one stolen kiss. Her lips burned and she embraced it. Seconds ticked by, blissfully ignored. When she pulled away, she was dizzy and stared heavily into her partner's eyes.
"…Alex…I…" Her voice was barely above a whisper. Her partner smiled down at her, his eyes shining in the dull light.
"We can do this." He said confidently, "Trust me." The smile fell from Bastila's face in an instant. Trust me. The very words he had used to convince half the Galaxy to go to war with the Republic. Suddenly the utter wrongness of her situation struck Bastila anew. She staggered under the dreadful ideas of lust, love and companionship. She was a Jedi. She had made a sacrifice for the betterment of the Galaxy.
"No…" She whispered, "No this is wrong." She pulled away from his embrace and made for the door.
"Bastila." Alex's tone stopped her in her tracks, and she turned to him, her eyes brimming with unshed tears, "Don't."
"I'm sorry." She breathed and pressed the door control, "Please leave." Alex nodded slowly and left without a word. The door closed behind him, the sound echoing in her heart as she closed off her feelings. Johlee had been wrong. The Force was something greater than energy. She had to trust in it. Bastila wrapped her arms around her body and bit back her tears. She would sleep alone tonight. No warmth. No contentment. No Alexander.
Just her.
The way it had to be.
That night, Bastila cried herself to sleep.
000000
The wind rose, kicking up a torrent of dust that swept through the camp. Tent flaps blew open, and a torn Republic flag danced high in the wind above the camp. Bastila felt none of the dust, and easily was able to pierce the haze. Around her hundreds of dead-eyes soldiers stared blankly into flickering chemical fires. A few were attempting to cook weak, watered down rations. Each trooper wore standard Republic urban camouflage, but their uniforms were dirtied to the point of being unrecognizable.
A perimeter wall surrounded the remote camp, and beyond Bastila could see a ruined cityscape. The roads were littered with the dead, civilian, Republic and Mandelorian alike. Dozens of burned out tanks clogged the broken roadways. The perimeter wall itself was riddled with holes, and several sections had collapsed. A few sentries watched the surrounding city, high caliber sniper rifles ready to pick off straggling Mandelorians. A few tanks, Republic Goliath class tankhunters, hovered on barely functioning anti-gravity fields. The vehicles were so scuffed and battle worn Bastila was unable to make out their original colors. Rockcrete barricades had been erected in the collapsed wall sections, heavy guns guarding the approaches. The camp bore all the marks of suffering a long and terrible siege. One of the sentries called out to the camp, and everyone grew visibly excited.
The gate at the far end of the camp ground open, and a handful of figures stumbled in. There were less than twenty of them, and the Republic troops watched them march by in shock and horror. Several looked away, tears spilling from their eyes.
Revan led the ragged band of Jedi. All of the Jedi bore terrible wounds. Bastila herself covered her mouth as she watched. Several Jedi were missing limbs, and leaned against their fellows to keep from falling. Others were almost entirely wrapped in blood soaked bandages. Revan himself pressed his black gauntlet to a bloody tear in his armor. The Jedi limped with each step and winced. Bastila approached the phantom automatically, desperate to embrace this man. Her heart ached to see him so wounded. She passed through him and Bastila felt tears brim in her eyes. Hesitantly, the Republic troopers approached the tattered band to take the injured away.
Two men approached the battered Jedi. Malak was one, his eyes rimmed red and exhausted. His robes were little more than scraps of brown and black hanging from an armored body glove. The other was a Republic officer with close cropped graying hair and a red bionic eye. Revan and Malak embraced like lost brothers.
"It's so good to see you." Malak said at length, "When we heard Echo camp had fallen, I thought you had been killed."
"I got lucky." Revan sighed, "But a lot of our people didn't."
"Is this everyone?" the officer asked. Revan nodded sadly.
"We lost a lot in the city." He said, his tone hushed, "We numbered two thousand not twelve hours ago. So many dead…"
"We've been getting reports from all over the city." The officer sighed, "The fourth, seventh, eighth and tenth regiments have all been lost. The first armored division was ambushed late last night. There were no survivors. The Mandelorians may be defeated, but the remnants are still achieving an eight-to-one kill ratio"
"Even killing Mandelor himself did little to help us." Malak said as an after-thought. Revan pushed passed the two men, unable to look either in the eye. The flap of the command tent was thrown open by a young woman wearing the single dash of a lieutenant on her arm. The woman dashed to Revan, her features torn in desperation.
"Gida?" She gripped Revan by his shoulders, "Where's Gida?" Revan nodded to the survivors.
"I'm so sorry." He said quietly. The woman let go of the Jedi and took limp, robotic steps towards two of the more intact Jedi. Between the two warriors, they carried a dirty and blood stained stretcher. As the woman grew closer, she saw a pale blue body lying limp. Her steps quickened and she was soon sprinting as fast as she was able.
"Gida?" She slid to a halt as the two Jedi gingerly placed the stretcher on the ground. Bastila took slow steps towards the kneeling woman, dread rising in her chest. But she couldn't look away. She had to see this. She had to know the whole story. The woman on the stretcher wore bloodied trooper fatigues, and a soiled bandage was wrapped tightly over her stomach. Even without seeing the wound, Bastila knew it was mortal. The lieutenant looked down at the wounded Twi'lek on the stretcher with tears in her eyes. The Twi'lek smiled, showing blood stained teeth.
"Hey beautiful." She managed and spat a wad of blood on the dirty ground. The human woman laughed despite herself, and captured the Twi'lek's cracked lips in a burning kiss. A heartbeat passed and the two women pulled apart.
"Hey yourself." The lieutenant said. She brushed her hand against the Twi'lek's smooth skin. "Don't you worry babe, we're going to get you all fixed up. You'll see."
"You could tell the doctor to hurry it up." Gida winced and clutched her stomach. The lieutenant looked up and screamed for a medic. Already the few remaining doctors were treating the survivors. The Twi'lek head rolled to one side and she stared dizzily at the sky.
"Hey come on, stay with me." The human gripped the Twi'lek's hands tightly. Bastila felt like her stomach was about to turn over. Tears were falling freely from her eyes.
"Lennia?" The Twi'lek suddenly exclaimed.
"I'm here Gida." The human cradled the Twi'lek, "I'm here." The Twi'lek gulped several times and looked hopelessly at the human.
"I love you so much." Gida said, her voice broken and fading, "So much." Lennia broke down in tears.
"I love you too Gida." She smiled sadly, "With all my heart. Please don't leave me. We never saw Coruscant."
"Glittering towers…lights as far as the eye could see…" Gida managed, "So many happy faces…" The Twi'lek let out a long sigh and her green eyes closed. Her body went limp and her head fell to the side. Lennia's lower lip quivered and she shook her head.
"Gida? Gida, please…please…don't go…" the human rested her head on her lover's chest and let out a heart-breaking sob. Bastila stood on numb legs, staring down at the grieving woman with blank eyes. So much horror. So much loss. She turned to Revan. He had seen it all, and was expected to stand tall above it. Who wouldn't be broken after this war? She watched him, studying him carefully. The wind tossed his hair around carelessly, and she could see a soul-deep despair in his eyes. She didn't see a matchless Jedi-turned-General, or a heartless Sith Lord. All she saw was a man struggling under waves of despair. A tragic hero, doomed from the beginning. If anyone deserved to find some peace and happiness, it was him.
Malak, Revan and the Republic officer watched the crying woman for several terrible, long moments. Malak folded his arms over his chest and looked at the ground. The officer was the first to approach Lennia and knelt by her. The human lunged at the officer and buried her head in his arms. The two Jedi looked on, helpless. It was Revan who turned away first.
"Revan?" Malak called to him, halting his friend before he could leave, "One more thing." Malak reached into his robes and pulled out a small black box, "A rep from the resistance arrived this morning." He held out the box, "This is for you. From the people."
Revan took the box with shaking, blood stained hands. Bastila watched the box trade hands, mesmerized. She approached Revan as he gently slid the red lace from the box, and pulled the top off. He let out an anguished gasp and picked something from the box. It was note, hand written on white parchment. Bastila read the words over Revna's shoulder and her heart tightened.
"What is it?" Malak asked after a moment. Revan turned to his friend, tears brimming in his eyes.
"The people are giving me an award." He said, his voice broken by sadness, "A title." Revan let the note go, and the wind carried it far away. It was soon lost in reaches of the city, never to be seen again.
"What title?" Malak asked. Revan reached into the box and took the last item there in his hand. It was a piece of gold, hanging from red lace. Bastila covered her mouth in shock.
An oak leaf.
"Hero of Cheroth." Revan said hollowly. Crystal tears tore through the grime on his face, and dripped onto the broken road beneath him.
Behind him, Lennia howled in anguish.
"…As if there is only one."