Alright I'm sure you guys are going… "What?! I thought she said she was busy all this weekend?!"
*OH! And before you finish reading the author's note if you do, or not, if you want to hear a musical component to the first scene…listen to "Regret" from Escaflowne…That song is just so perfect with the first scene…literally, I don't know if the timing is exactly right, but if it was…man…that'd be great…anyway…*
*-busy all weekend?!"* And that was indeed true. However, when I got home from the performance with the honor band Saturday (and for those of you who actually care, it went very well and was really fun) I sat at the computer and wrote. I don't know why…but it all spilled out and I wrote the whole dang chapter Saturday, and I spent Saturday night and some of today proofing it. I think it's about done…at least as far as I can tell…though I'll bet I'll read it after I post it and notice something minute, but that don't matter none to me :P yeah bad English there I know…
So here it is for you guys…and I'll thank the reviewers…
(I think I should write cliffhangers more often man! I got so many reviews over that one…hehehe…I'll keep it in mind in following chapters *wink wink*)
aradow: Congrats to reclaiming your title as "first fanatic reviewer of Wink's silly story" :) Hehe…You raise a good point for not strangling me…I do appreciate the fact that you acknowledge that *wink* I heard a version of that joke before actually, and since we're such great Polacks, I'll tell you one. :D Q: How do you stop a Polish cavalry? A: Turn off the carousel. *lol* And here's one of my very favoritest ones:
Q: How do you keep a Polack in suspense?
Fushizen na: I love Dryden a whole lot too :) oh and pardon me for being incredibly naïve and dumb and all that entails…but could someone please explain to me what 'AU' is? I am apparently writing it but have no clue what it is…
Sara: You're a woodwind?! *shudders* Well…since you're so kind to me in your reviews…I suppose I'll have to forgive you for that… Yeah we played some pretty crazy music that we looked at Friday morning and performed Saturday afternoon…I've done so much playing this weekend it really isn't funny at all…
SabineballZ: Trying to write my own story out for me, eh? *wink* I see how it is…
snow blossoms: I read The Call of the Wild. I actually wasn't intending for it to be anything like that…but I suppose it kinda is :D Aww…you bestow so many compliments on me that all I can do is *blush*.
Messenger Of Doom: Hehe I will put as many cliffhangers as I darn well please!! So there!!
dreamingofflyingaway: … I don't know whether I should comment on your brain talks with yourself…maybe because it all sounds waaay too familiar… *funny face*
Starry Eyed Wonder: *blush* Jeez… Thanks. Hehe. It's a paltry response but… I don't know what else to say… Oh and you can't stop your other fics. Peoples will get mad. I mean, imagine how you'd feel if I stopped my fic right at the moment when she fell…
Kim: I want to see that movie… I just can't find anyone to take me :P Where's a boyfriend when you need 'em, huh? *sticks out tongue at all guy friends* You stink. Haha. Too bad none of 'em read this, eh? :) I did write on the weekend…see? Lucky you… Oh and I am the most computer illiterate person ever in the world and also I have this everlasting animosity with technology and the internet…so… uh…if you're writing on Microsoft Word, maybe you have to save it as a 'web page' file…did you do that?
GENERAL THANKS TO ALL
THE REVIEWERS THAT PROFESS TO LOVE MY FIC (however misguided you may be):
Also known as: WINK'S LAZINESS:
LiLNeko, Night of the Raven, Macky (oh and by the way…your suggestion…I decided to try and listen and my story came out better for it! :D So thanks…), SpitFire06 (woo for band!), Lady Luna (you can get up now), Aranel Lindtaure, Sweet Roses, Avaris Sky, honeypot, hh (dude that gives me absolutely nothing to work with on these things…), Onigiri Momoko
Alright…so as a warning…yeah I know some of you like big action hoopla scenes and some of you like the ooshy-gooshy-mushy stuff and all that…and this story kinda caters to both types in some way…but yeah. This chapter isn't the most action-packed…at least, the way you're all thinking…but bear with me :) The plot line continues to go on and the action has not ceased quite yet…
And I apologize if ever I get too melodramatic…because I'm probably treading the line between okay and too far…and you all can tell me (nicely please! *sad face* at least phrase it in a constructive manner…)
You all at least listen to the song or try to download it? You should. *wink* Hehe…
Alright so without further ado, here it be…
Disclaimer: Don't own it, do own auxiliary characters/places/events
Chapter 14: Feathers
She felt something softly brushing against her cheek, but her eyes seemed glued shut, leaving her to helplessly wonder what it could've been.
She assessed her sensations instead as her strength slowly but steadily returned. It was cool…quiet…a light breeze was ruffling her hair, drying the perspiration on her forehead. A faint feeling of pain was in the back of her mind, but she couldn't determine exactly where the locus of the injury was. Even with her eyes closed, she could tell it was still pretty dark outside. Her fingertips felt rather tender, and her jaw ached terribly. Her mind stepped back, retracing the last things she remembered before waking up.
Her last memory was of falling to her doom.
Apparently she hadn't.
Hitomi didn't feel like she'd broken every bone in her body… She felt sore, yes, but not dead.
Maybe she was in heaven.
Building up the energy to assuage her curiosity and confusion, she fluttered her eyes open to behold an angel.
I am in heaven…
But she tasted blood in her mouth. Definitely not a heavenly feeling.
And the angel looked strikingly familiar…
She tried to swallow with her dry throat. "Van?" she croaked.
His mahogany eyes were deeply shadowed from his hair. Nevertheless, she saw something brighten ever so slightly in that beautiful gaze.
"You're awake." He sounded relieved.
Her hand lifted slowly, as if to see if the apparition was real. "You…wings…"
They swept out from behind him majestically, huge pure white wings that gleamed with a light all their own it seemed, wrapping around her and cradling the two of them as if they were in a lovers' embrace, hiding them from the prying eyes of the world. They waved ever so slightly with the breeze that was drifting by them, like a lover's intimate caress along the flowing lines of his wings.
Stray feathers filled the night air, the source of the tickling that had awoken her.
The angel descending through the flames, with jet black hair, reaching a hand out…
She blinked, confused. Her throat worked, trying to get words out. "How…"
He looked down abruptly, his wings somehow disappearing into his back along with the light in his eyes. For some reason, she felt sad that the intense beauty was gone now. His bangs swung down to fully cover his face. "You're fine now." His voice was much gruffer than it had been a few seconds ago, more like the Van she was used to.
She tried to sit up, and immediately pain flared in her side. Obviously that was the source of her earlier discomfort. Her throat convulsed in a sharp yelp that had him looking up in surprise.
"Your side!" He instantaneously reverted back into the uncharacteristic tone that had filled his voice when she had awakened. He must've been so relieved from her return to consciousness that he'd forgotten about her physical state.
She felt her side with her fingertips, feeling the warm stickiness still emanating from her body.
Van was rummaging through the packs he'd obviously recovered for something to bandage the injury. He reached to push her shirt up away from her stomach. With a sudden flash of clarity, Hitomi remembered the huge, ugly scar there.
"No!" she protested, holding her shirt down with amazing strength. I don't want you to see that!
"I'm not going to do anything indecent!" Van stated irritably. "This has to be staunched, or else you'll lose too much blood!"
"Please, no…" she said weakly, holding on to the shirt with a stubborn resolve.
"Come on…" he muttered, frustrated, prying her fingers off the edge of her shirt systematically and pushing it up to just under her breasts, ignoring her small whimper.
And stopped.
Lancing across her stomach with brutal savagery was the scar from her left side across to her right lower hip.
Hitomi looked away from him, waves of mortification assaulting her.
"Is this what you were trying to hide from me? Your scar?"
His voice wasn't disgusted or full of pity…it was…it was…sad.
She turned her eyes to look at him in surprise, feeling the heat from tears of embarrassment sting her eyes.
"You don't need to hide anything like that. Do you think it really matters to me?" Gently, he traced the scar with his fingertips, sending a million tingly chills up and down her spine. "You're beautiful, even more so…because the scar reminds me that I could've lost you."
Hitomi felt her mouth turn down in a frown. Van was never like this, he was…
She felt her heartbeat accelerate marginally with the huskiness of his voice.
Concentrating on the more immediate problem with startling haste, he cleaned the extraneous blood off of her side and began bandaging it as if he hadn't just said anything earth-shattering.
Hitomi's mind reeled. Van had just taken her worst fears – that someone she truly cared about would see her horrible scar – and coated it with kindness and warmth. He'd totally taken her by surprise…and she felt the air catch in her throat. Did she just think she cared about Van? What was this? Was it just the insanity of the moment, the release of adrenaline that was causing her mind to run on such wild trails where she'd never dared to go before? The relief of living after a close brush with death? Or was it…
The corner of his mouth tipped. "There. It needs to be cauterized, but that should do for now before I get you to someone who has the supplies to help."
"Thank you." Her voice was small, and she berated herself for sounding like those weak girls that could never do a thing for themselves. But she couldn't really help it. Her energy seemed to be swamped by the rampage of thoughts cavorting through her brain.
"Anything else wrong?"
She thought back through all the fuzziness in her mind to review the night's events with more precision. "Uh…my wrists?"
"They've already clotted. He didn't cut much there. You've got other scrapes and abrasions, but there's not much I can do there either."
She swallowed, feeling a metallic taste in her mouth. Probing with her tongue, she discovered a cut on her lip where she must have accidentally bit down from the stress, though how she managed that with the gag on was a mystery. "My lip," she said with a grimace. "I must've bitten it."
A lopsided smile filled his face. "I can't very well bandage that." He winked rakishly at her. "Looks like I'll have to just kiss it better."
She felt her cheeks flush hotly. "That might hurt a little," she said dubiously, cringing at the memory of his last 'kiss.'
He simply looked at her with a – was that tender? – look in his eye, and bent his head slowly towards her. She felt her breath clog in her throat, and her heart pound in double-time, as if increased blood flow would benefit her somehow in this situation. Her whole body tensed in unpleasant anticipation, bracing herself for what she remembered before.
His lips brushed hers with a kiss that was as sweet as honey and as potent as wine. Barely touching, she felt her eyes sweep closed as feathered wings beat against her heart with an unbearable tenderness that threw her mind into a fog thicker than the night air around them. She was helpless to respond, for all reason had left her the moment his lips touched her own. Her mental processes halted instantaneously, concentrating every sense and sanity on this one eternal moment in time. Her bottom lip trembled as he repeated the action with the same amount of gentility, bringing her even closer to total incoherence.
He pulled away from her, causing her eyes to open and be immediately ensnared with his, an event that effectively stopped her racing heart.
If she thought she had trouble talking before, she was completely mute now.
He simply brushed the hair back from her forehead with the same sweetness that he'd caressed her lips, inspiring the shivers to return to her spine.
"I've never heard you so quiet, Princess…" he murmured with a voice that was ragged from his emotions.
She blinked rapidly, the nickname returning some of the sanity she'd apparently lost. "Why did you…"
His eyes shuttered strangely, and she felt something within her sadden at that. "You should rest. I'll get you to a healer, don't worry about that. In Maia we should be able to find someone sympathetic."
She felt a wave of exhaustion descending upon her from all of her emotional and physical output. "But…I…" Her eyelids felt heavy, but she wanted insanely to ask him why he had just…
"Please, little Princess. Do as I ask. After all you've been through, you can't die on me now."
Hitomi would've tried to protest if he hadn't said it in an honestly concerned tone. Mumbling to herself, she said, "Will you ever call me by my actual name?"
"I did a little while ago."
"That doesn't count. You have to say it consciously."
Stroking her cheek gently, he simply smiled. With a trembling smile of her own, she felt her eyes close in mute acquiescence to his request, and a muggy darkness descend upon her consciousness with remarkable speed.
Van watched her slowly fade away, and felt something strange twist within his chest. His mouth straightened ever so slightly, the smile nevertheless remaining within his dark eyes. "Good night…
Hitomi."
* * *
Millerna rested her chin on her hands, wondering why her mind was refusing to work properly.
It seemed all she could think about was the kind actions of an irascibly charming stranger.
"Millerna!"
The cat-girl bounded into the tent, startling her out of her reverie. "Merle!"
She grinned toothily up at the blonde girl. "What's up?"
"I'm just…uh…"
"Thinking about Dryden?" Merle winked cheekily.
"No!" Millerna objected, trying to will away the blush that was threatening her cheeks.
Merle licked the back of her paw knowingly. "You're a bad liar, Millerna. I can see it in your eyes."
"Are you spying on me?"
"Of course." She grinned. "After all, Hitomi's gone." Her smile dimmed slightly, presumably because thinking of Hitomi reminded her of her absent other half, Van.
"So you need any help?" she chirped, brightening up again in her characteristic manner.
"Not really. Most everything is done."
"So you want to talk?"
"About what?"
"Don't act like you don't know," Merle mewled. "I'm the only other female around for miles. Who else are you going to talk to about these things?"
The blonde frowned. "You're nosy."
"Yeah, well, you look like you need someone to talk to."
"No, I don't," she denied.
Merle shrugged, her pink hair dancing. "I already told you you're a bad liar."
Millerna held her head in her hands. "Did Hitomi have to put up with all this?" she moaned.
"Come on, Millerna, spit it all out."
Her violet eyes rested on Merle, contemplating whether to talk. With a sudden sigh, she released, "I'm so confused!"
"I know."
She wrinkled her nose at the cat-girl. "Well, if you already know all about me, then why don't you just leave and pester someone else?" she shot back.
"Because you need to talk! Or I need to talk to you."
"What do you have to say?" she muttered sarcastically.
"You need to choose between them," she stated bluntly. "Which is it? Allen or Dryden?"
Millerna looked down in embarrassment. She absently twined a curly flaxen strand around her index finger, not knowing why she felt compelled to answer. "Allen's…the one I…love. I'm only…grateful to Dryden…" Grateful? Is that really all?
Merle set her hands upon her hips. "You better pick one or the other, or else you're going to end up in a heap of trouble. They can't both share you, you know."
"I know that!"
"Then choose!"
"Who would you suggest I choose then?" Millerna spouted.
"Whomever your heart loves."
"Oh, that's lucid." She shook her head. "It's not that easy, Merle. I can't tell the difference between simple affection and…" Her voice trailed off haltingly.
Merle crossed her arms. "You can't have everyone making your decisions for you! Give yourself a shot at thinking for yourself!"
The anger behind Millerna's eyes was merely a veneer. "I do!" she said, the edge in her voice crumpling.
The smaller girl chuckled. "'Millerna, go to the tent!'" She mimicked Allen's tone with amazing accuracy, then raised her voice coquettishly. "'Of course, Allen, whatever you say.'"
"I never say it like that," Millerna protested caustically.
Merle fingered something around her neck. "Just as well, you still can't be controlled by someone, no matter how much you may profess to love them. You're your own person."
Violet eyes watched the cat-girls movements, thinking about all she said instead of responding with heated emotion. "What's that?" she asked curiously, taking note of the object around her neck and hoping it would distract Merle from any more comments that would make Millerna feel worse.
"It's a nail file." Merle smiled. "Dryden gave it to me."
"He did? Why?"
Merle shrugged. "He told me what he knew about Van. As far as he knows, they were doing fine a few days ago, en route to wherever Dornkirk's man is."
"But why did he give it to you?"
"I don't know." She shrugged again. "But now I'm going to go and let you think. Okay?"
"That's all you had to say?"
"Just about. Dryden's a good man, Millerna."
Millerna watched the cat-girl leave thoughtfully. "Yeah…"
* * *
Hitomi felt consciousness return to her once again, along with a vivid awareness of the stinging pain in her side.
She opened her eyes to find herself in a little room, the sunlight pouring cheerfully though the open window. Van was slumped beside her, asleep. His hair hung in adorable disarray around his face, his expression reminding her of a little boy's. She smiled and reached out a hand to touch his face.
His eyes flashed open, relief filling them as he saw her awake. "Good morning, Princess."
She felt a small sigh escape. "You'll never stop that, will you?"
"Do you want me to?"
She pursed her lips, thinking. Did she?
"Whatever," she finally decided on saying.
He smiled briefly at her response, then returned to practical matters. "The healer cauterized your wound. She said that it would heal now, just so long as you don't strain yourself or irritate it."
"You can bet I won't," Hitomi groaned. "I feel like I fell ten stories."
Van just gave her a funny look.
She blinked, and chuckled. "I did, didn't I?" she said wryly.
"Maybe not that far."
"Close enough." She pushed herself up slightly, feeling the spark of pain but shunting it aside. "So, you swooped down like the true hero you are and saved the damsel in distress, am I right?"
His cheeks colored slightly. "I did what anyone would've done," he mumbled self-consciously.
"Anyone who had wings, of course."
He looked away.
Hitomi felt her own cheeks warm slightly at her intrusive thought, but decided to say it anyway. "Your wings are very beautiful."
"They're my curse."
"What a horrible curse to have."
He slanted a serious look at her. "You know what they symbolize, don't you? The ancient power of the Draconians… A renegade gene that manifests itself every million people. The odds are so slim that anyone would be cursed with it…and yet I am."
"Well, I don't see it as much of a curse, for obvious reasons."
"It is meant to remind people of all we lost the last time our people tried to create a unified world of ultimate power." He sighed wearily. "It didn't work at all. Man's innate selfishness is the factor that makes the utopia my brother dreams of impossible."
"Do you still love him?"
He clenched his fist, and a muscle twitched in his cheek. "No."
"But the way you speak of him…"
His eyes were piercingly cold. "How do I speak of him?"
"Never mind," she said swiftly, recognizing when she was treading on thin ice. "Back to your wings, then." His expression implied that he didn't like that subject either, but Hitomi figured it was the lesser of two evils. "Do you use them often?"
"No. Only…when I absolutely have to."
"Like saving girls from falling from towers," she said with a smile. It faded quickly. "And saving…"
An angel descending from the sky, appearing out of the flames like an angel of fire as he reached for her hand…
"You!" she sputtered, eyes wide.
He looked almost guiltily up at her. "What?"
"You're the…the one… You saved me from the fire!"
He turned his eyes away from her again.
She frowned, hurt by his imposed distance. "Why didn't you ever tell me? You didn't remember me?"
"No," he said, his voice rough. "I was trying to distance myself from you."
"Why?"
He returned his gaze to her, his mahogany eyes unreadable. "Because."
"Why?"
"I had to." He stood, sighing heavily. "You didn't need to know it was me."
"What are you talking about? Knowing it was you could've made my memories come back so much quicker!"
He raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Are they back now?"
"Well…only bits and pieces, but…"
"See? You didn't need to know. Now you'll just be treating me strange…"
"If I could get up from this bed, I would give you a good slap for that foolhardy remark! What kind of an idiot are you, to think that you saving my life would inspire any reaction other than gratitude from me? How stupid can you possibly be?"
His eyes flashed. "Obviously I was wrong."
"Obviously. And don't get all high-and-mighty on me either, king. Oh, and by the way, thanks for telling me about everything. It made Folken's revelation so much easier to absorb."
"It's not like I lied."
"Bull! You did too!"
"When did I lie?"
"You said your family was all dead!"
"I believe I said 'dead to me,'" he remarked logically. "I never said they were actually all dead."
"You deliberately deceived me, after I've told you everything I knew about myself!"
"Everything?"
She flushed. "Don't change the subject!" she said hastily. "You…you even got your cronies to lie to me about you!"
"They didn't lie. They just didn't say who I was."
Her eyes narrowed. "You're a jerk."
He laughed humorlessly. "Well, at least I don't have to worry about you bowing and scraping before me for saving your life," he declared.
She coughed suddenly, harshly, and said in a weak, strained voice, "Van, come here…I can't really talk, my throat hurts…but I need to tell you something…"
His expression altered slightly, almost softening, and he leaned in closer to her. "What?"
She slapped him hard on the cheek. "And you wonder why I don't make exceptions for you!" Her voice returned to its normal timbre, albeit angrier than usual.
He grinned infuriatingly despite the redness staining his cheek. "It sure seemed like you were making an exception a few hours ago."
She punched him harshly on his arm where the bandage still remained over his cut, causing him to hiss viciously and draw back out of her range. "Van, you are the most ill-tempered, annoying bastard of a man I have ever had the misfortune of meeting! You say one thing and do another, and for the life of me I cannot figure out which of you is the real Van, and quite honestly, I don't care anymore! I wish you would settle on either being a jerk or a semi-jerk, because I really don't want to waste any more time trying to figure you out anymore."
"Either way I'm a jerk, right?" He said, still grimacing from her last attack.
She closed her eyes, at the limit of her patience. "I wish you'd never saved me," she murmured regretfully.
"Why is that?"
Her lashes fluttered upward to reveal hot green fire. "Because if it weren't for the fact that you've managed to save my life numerous times, I would be pummeling that handsome face of yours to pulp and making sure you never instigated anyone ever again!"
"Handsome face, eh?"
The fire cooled to something infinitely more dangerous. "Van, I swear, if you say anything else…"
"You'd better rest," he said suddenly, backing away toward the door, the grin still plastered on his face. "Sweet dreams, Princess."
He exited, and with her face twisted in anger, she threw a pillow at the closed door with enough strength to make the impact produce a loud 'whumpf'.
* * *
"Millerna?"
Allen's voice was gentle, tentative. She turned to give him a sunny smile. "Yes?"
"Have you been avoiding me?"
She hesitated slightly. "No."
His blue eyes looked haunted. He clearly didn't believe her response. "I've been thinking a lot about what happened the other day. I'm sorry about treating you…the way I have. I mean, I did it because I love you, and-"
"Are you sure?"
He blinked. "Yes. Why wouldn't I be?"
Millerna's smile faded slightly. "People used to say that I looked almost exactly like my sister, Marlene."
His face closed off all emotion. "So?"
Her lashes swept down, hiding her eyes. "I know about her, Allen. Are you sure it's not her that you still love?"
He gripped her arms suddenly. "Who told you about that?"
She looked up, slightly worried. "Dryden."
He released her harshly, eyes hardening. "Why, that-"
"I asked
him, Allen. Don't blame him."
"You're defending him?" he
asked suspiciously.
"It's just…it's not his fault. Allen, I've been thinking a lot about you, too."
"And?"
She flushed. "You know I've loved you since I was a child, but…I wonder if all it's ever been was an adolescent fantasy. I'm not a child anymore."
"I know you're not. Millerna-"
"Allen, please just let me speak. I need to tell you…the truth."
His expression was guarded. "About what?"
She drew in a deep, preparatory breath, feeling her heart beat a million times a minute, like the feathered wings of a hummingbird. "Allen, I…" She shook her head and restarted. "It was all beautiful foolishness. I thought everything about you was a miracle. But I've come to find out that you are human, that the perfect man I thought I loved is not the true man underneath. Not that you're evil or anything," she explained hastily, "but…I just was in love with my dream of you, not the real you. And since dreams aren't real…well… Allen, I think there will always be a place in my heart for you…but it's a different one now. It's not the same."
His eyes were honestly pained. "Millerna-"
"You can't change my mind, Allen," she said, tears in her voice. "I hate to hurt you, I hate even more to push you away, but I don't want to mislead you anymore. I've finally found my own mind…my own self…and now I know the truth… Allen, I don't love you."
Those words were like a crushing blow, knocking aside all his defenses. His face broke her heart. "Is it Dryden?"
"It's no one," she choked. "Can't you see, Allen? Childish fantasies have no place in an adult's life. And I've finally grown up."
He nodded silently, stiffly. Then he whirled and walked away as if she were the epitome of evil.
Millerna watched him go, feeling regret well up in her heart. She cared for him so much…and she hated to see him hurt…but it wasn't love. And she knew she couldn't lie to him.
She fell to the ground on her knees, feeling a tear fall and wishing she didn't have to be so weak.
Dryden watched her in the distance, slumping to the ground with pain on her face. She'd obviously just turned Allen away…but was she regretting it so quickly?
He wanted to go to her and hold her until the tears went away…but he resisted. What was this inside of him? He'd never cared one way or another over a female's tears, yet once glimpse of Millerna hurting sent all his dormant protective instincts into gear. It was nothing at all like the cool, collected businessman he'd always prided himself on being.
"What are you doing?" a voice hissed beside him.
He turned without visible surprise to the owner of the cat-like purr. "I could ask you the same question."
"Can't you see she's hurting? Go comfort her!"
"Merle, I really appreciate what you're trying to do, but you've misjudged a lot of things."
She snorted. "Like what?"
"I don't care for Millerna that way."
"You don't?"
"I wouldn't be much of a heartless merchant if I did, now would I?"
She gazed at him unnervingly with those crystal blue eyes. "You're not a heartless merchant. You like everyone to think that, but I know it's not true. I see it in your eyes."
He flinched slightly. "You see everything in people's eyes?"
"It's instinct. I'm smarter than you think."
His mouth tipped in a crooked smile. "So it seems."
She crossed her arms obstinately. "Go talk with her at least. Distract her from worrying. She does it too often."
He raised a skeptical eyebrow. "I don't suppose you'll be letting me off the hook anytime soon?"
"No."
"You'll keep pestering me until I listen?"
"Yeah."
He sighed. "Anything is better than the nagging of a persistent female," he quipped dryly as he started forward. "I hope you know I'll remember this, Merle," he tossed over his shoulder with a half-smile of warning.
Watching him as he approached Millerna, Merle felt herself grin kittenishly. "I hope you will," she murmured to herself. Dryden squatted down and sad something to her, something that had her face shooting up and a moment later a faint smile appeared on her lips. Merle found contentment in pushing the two together. She didn't want them to have to live with the pain of heartbreak.
She sighed longingly, looking up towards the blue sky.
She of all people knew the pain of unrequited love.
* * *
Hitomi was finally able to walk around. She had grown sick of being bed-ridden for days.
She stretched unused muscles, grimacing in discomfort. She still didn't have a whole lot of mobility, but enough to get around, and that was frankly enough for her. She was ready to head back to camp.
Van had been avoiding her like the plague ever since they had the argument, checking up on her occasionally to make sure she wasn't dying. He normally dropped by when she was asleep, or so the healer told her. Hitomi faintly suspected that the woman was making it all up in an effort to make her feel better.
Not that she cared whether Van cared about her.
She pushed him roughly to the back of her mind. The rain pitter-pattered against the roof, soothing her with its familiar pattern. Hitomi gazed out the window at the field behind the house, watching the grasses bend under the weight of the water. Looking farther towards the horizon, she saw a lone figure standing in the middle of the downpour. Her eyes widened.
Van was standing, face tilted upward to the sky, rain bouncing off of his handsome angular features and flattening his hair against his forehead. His face was thoughtful…almost as if he were in pain, but yet…not.
She watched him stand in the rain, feeling all her animosity ebb away in much the same way as the dirt and grime were erased by the rain.
Why did he always antagonize her?
She'd never really thought about it in much length. But it was a good question.
After all, she'd seen him be kind and thoughtful. Not for long, to be sure, but it had been there. She'd seen regret in his eyes, she'd seen tenderness. It was as if the boy had two personalities, and he couldn't decide which to be.
She leaned against the windowpane and thought back to the argument days ago, trying to see if she would be able to decipher what made Van behave the way he did.
After a few minutes of deep soul-searching, her eyes flashed open.
He was hiding!
It was so obvious, she wanted to hit herself on the head a dozen times.
Every time she got anywhere near to talking about emotions of any sort, he closed up on her. Anytime she tried to pry into his past, he deflected it with sarcasm. He made her angry so that she would forget what she had been trying to ask.
He wasn't intentionally being rude. At least not to instigate her in and of itself.
He was hiding.
Hitomi looked at him in a new light, seeing instead of the arrogant swordsman a lost little boy that was stripped of everything he loved, shoved into a world of brutality and mercilessness. Of course he would close himself up and hide from the world. It was every child's first response. It had been her response.
She rested her hand on the windowpane, watching him stand in the rain. Her heart reached out to him.
Van felt the cool water cascading down his face, like the tears that he refused to shed.
He felt estranged from everything in the world. Seeing Folken again had ripped open the deep wounds that had been entrenched in his childhood. He squeezed his eyes shut.
"Brother!" a little raven-haired boy laughed. "Brother, come play!"
A deeper voice returned the merriment. "Van, you'll have to catch me first!"
The little boy continued to laugh, chasing the elder around a monument, the older boy slowing enough for the child to catch him.
"I got you, Folken!" The child grinned. "Now you have to play with me!"
"Oh really?" The pale-haired boy tickled the little one, releasing fountains of giggles.
"Brother, stop!" he said between gasps of laughter, raising his arms up in a mute demand to be picked up.
The elder hefted the child onto his shoulders with ease. "One day, Van, you will be this tall."
"Really?" the child asked, reddish-brown eyes wide open.
"Yes. You'll be the strongest man in all of Fanelia."
"You really think so, Brother?"
"I know so."
Van tightened his face muscles against the memory. It was foolishness, pure and simple. He was a man now. Enough of these childish memories. He knew what he had to do about him.
But his heart kept getting in the way…
"Van?"
Reflexively, he schooled his face to reveal nothing. He opened his eyes to look at a half-wet Hitomi standing before him. "You shouldn't be in the rain. You might get sick."
She was looking up at him with an infinite depth in those tantalizing green eyes of hers. "Don't hide from me anymore. I know that's what you're doing."
"What are you talking about?" He frowned. "Has the medicine gone to your head?"
Instead of responding with irritation, as he had hoped, she merely smiled. "You're doing it again. But I understand now, Van. You're hiding."
"No, I'm not."
She bit her lip tentatively, reawakening feelings inside of him that he always held a tight leash on... Well, except for that one time…and he was still punishing himself for letting go of his control and opening himself up to more pain…
"Van, please. Just talk to me." She shook her head quickly. "No, wait. You don't have to talk. Just don't hide yourself from me. I understand how you feel."
He wanted to deny it, but knew that he couldn't. Instead, he turned his face away to look at the little town.
She yanked on his hair, eliciting a small yelp from him. "Hey!"
"Will you listen to me?" she said, the sharpness returning to her tone. "Stop being a bloody moron and listen. Give it up! I know what you're doing now, and all your instigation isn't going to erase that knowledge."
He tried to keep his eyes steady. "What am I doing now, then?"
Her face softened, making his heart skip unnaturally in his chest. "You were thinking about Folken."
He swallowed, and turned his eyes away. It seemed like she could read his very soul through them, and he didn't like that one bit.
"You said you didn't love him anymore, but I know that's a lie. He's your brother."
He felt her rest a hand on his arm gently. "I'm sure he still loves you, too," she said quietly.
Van's eyes felt like they were almost clouding up, but he refused to cry. That was something a nine-year-old would do…not a man ten years older.
She sighed. "Fine. I guess there's no other way to convince you."
She went into his arms, wet clothes and all, and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head in the crook of his neck. "It's okay," she whispered, her warm breath heating the skin of his neck.
Almost instinctively, he returned her embrace, enjoying the feeling of her in his arms.
"Just breathe deep, Van. Just let it out," Hitomi encouraged.
He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and burying his face in her hair. Letting out the air, he felt much of his tension escape along with it.
She smiled against his neck. "Rain is so cleansing," she murmured absently. "It washes away everything, purifies it."
He nodded mutely, inhaling her scent, feeling his heart beat in a slow rhythm that was unbearably soothing.
"Can we be friends, Van?"
He closed his eyes. "I thought you didn't want any friends."
"I didn't…but right now anything is preferable to arguing with you all the time."
He sighed in consent. "Yeah. We're friends."
Her grip tightened slightly, and she chuckled. "You're really warm, you know that?"
"How is that? We're both wet," he stated bluntly.
He felt her shrug in his arms. "I don't know. You just are. I don't really care about being wet, anyway. It's not like we have any available shelter."
With a smile that reached all the way to his heart, he contradicted her claim. Feeling the familiar pain in his back, pure white feathers joined the droplets falling from the sky as his wings burst out in all their glory to curve around like a feathery umbrella, concealing from the rain and the world the two hearts that beat as one.
* *incredibly goofy smile* Aw…I really like that ending………
Yeah so…any of you catch those other allusions I made all over the place? *wink* The picture of Van in the rain of course…which is currently the background of my desktop on the computer…and has been for…oh…a rather long time… Then if any of you know the lyrics to the songs from Escaflowne…you'd recognize something Millerna said I'm sure… I love throwing that stuff in there and twisting it to my own purposes *big grin*
So if any of ya are ever curious where I'm kinda picking Dryden's character from (I am inspired from something)… Have any of you ever read the Star Wars books - you know, after the original series? *big flashing sign* *DORK DORK DORK* *tries to turn off with light switch 'Stop don't tell them!!'* *big beeping sound* *'LOSER LOSER LOSER'* *Wink sighs* I guess I can't really hide it from you guys when I start talking about being an avid reader of the Star Wars books after the series… But if you are…you know Talon Karrde? (he not only has a kick-@$$ name, he's also got one of the coolest personalities of them all) Yeah. The one who's the top smuggler in the galaxy, he knows everything that goes on, etc… Mara Jade is his second-in-command…that is until she married Luke *sigh* I was indeed pleased with that… *shakes head to wake self up* Yeah well anyway, that's kinda who I'm basing Dryden's character off of. It's a good character, I think…
Enough of this idiotic rambling. I'd better stop before you read something that's even more detrimental to my ego (Ego? What's that? A waffle?) *POLISH POLISH* (and for all you that read that as the sound in 'shoe polish'…*LOL*!! You must be one of us too…)
Til the next time…which I don't know how long it'll take…but I do have the next chapter pretty much planned out…so we shall see…
-wink*
*ps. By the way, aradow…are you still thinking about the Polish joke earlier? *wink* hehe…*