Chapter 13 - Sacrifice
Gabriel had successfully managed to put Eleanor's suggestion that he should lead the angels out of his mind. He wasn't a follower, by any stretch of the imagination – but he was certainly no leader, either. The archangel was an independent spirit, a force of his own, controlled by and controlling no one. The idea of leadership… shudder. Nope, he had Eleanor, and that was enough.
Meanwhile, the requests to Eleanor to create some sigils to aid Michael's side of the war had been coming more insistently, to both of their irritation... and the situation in Heaven just kept getting worse.
"You should know," Eleanor said as soon as Gabriel arrived back from a trip to Earth. "Castiel is back again. I believe they've taken him to Naomi."
"What th- again?!"
Eleanor nodded unhappily. She shook her head, murmuring, "I worry about him. Castiel has such a noble heart, but he has always followed his own path. You and I may find that admirable, but Michael does not. I'm afraid they're going to break him someday."
The archangel couldn't even reply, stuck on the fact that Castiel had been brought to Heaven to be punished – or "re-educated" as they were calling it these days – yet again. "But- what does that make this, four times now? More than anyone else."
Huh. Apparently, whatever process they were using, it didn't work quite as well as they would like to think. Although Gabriel shuddered to think how Castiel would emerge so dull and robotic, he couldn't help but feel a rush of fiery satisfaction at the knowledge that clearly it wasn't going to stick.
Not with his favorite fledgling, at least.
"I don't like this," Eleanor murmured, before heaving a sigh. "It's just… it scares me. Michael scares me, Raphael, too. Every time, I tell myself they won't cross that next line... and then every time, they do. Do they even have a limit? I- I don't know what to believe anymore."
"Believe in us," Gabriel replied instantly. He stepped forward, taking Eleanor's shoulders, and gazed down at her with sincerity and devotion. "We've still got us, Ellie, no matter what."
Eleanor gave him a small smile, but Gabriel could feel how much all of this was starting to weigh on her. He hated that; Gabriel hated for her to be so burdened by this, and he wished he could put that glowing smile back on her face, the radiating passion in her eyes, the lightness in her bearing that was so often absent these days.
Before she could say anything, though, they were interrupted by the muted sound of an explosion. Dust rained down from the vaulted ceiling as the floor trembled, and Gabriel's first wildly frantic thought was of the battles between Michael and Lucifer, ages ago.
Had Lucifer gotten back into Heaven?!
But Eleanor suddenly gripped Gabriel's arm, her face chalk-white, as she gasped, "No… no, it can't be…"
"Lucifer?!"
"Raphael… No, no!"
And then she was off and running, full speed out the door towards where the explosion had come from. Once again, Gabriel found himself bolting after her, fear starting to grow in his chest. What was happening? What did Raphael have to do with it? And why did Eleanor always insist on running straight out into the middle of danger?!
"What have you done?!" he heard Eleanor cry out. She rushed forward, and Gabriel could clearly see Raphael standing idly by, another motionless figure on the ground. "Aaeon?! Aaeon, NO, oh no! Raphael, erase it! Erase it before it destroys us!"
"Ellie?" Gabriel called after her, hurrying forward as well. He frowned, then blanched, sickened, as his gaze caught the most horrifying sight to an angel: wings, charred and ashy, burned into the ground around the motionless figure. The angel was dead. "What happened?!"
"He failed," replied Raphael with a shrug, watching aloofly as Eleanor cast out her hand and obliterated a half-formed sigil that Aaeon must have been sketching on the ground. Clearly, he'd been trying his own hand at creating a new sigil, and it had blown up in his face - literally.
An angel, dead in Heaven! Raphael appeared unaffected, but Gabriel watched with mouth hanging open in dismay as Eleanor fell to her knees at the dead angel's side.
"What were you doing?!" she sobbed, a fist crashing down on the angel's chest in grief. "What were you thinking?! You have to stabilize the sigil first, you cannot contain that much power without the buffers in place! You always draw the buffers first to keep the energy from rebounding, why did you do that, you-"
She broke off, consumed by her desolated sorrow. Leaning over the dead angel's body, Eleanor burst into anguished, sobbing tears. Gabriel exhaled shakily, then cast a disbelieving look at Raphael. The archangel hadn't so much as twitched. Did he not understand, a brother was dead?
Gabriel just shook his head in furious disgust and then crossed swiftly to Eleanor's side. "Ellie," he murmured gently, taking her elbow and pulling her up. She turned towards him, throwing her arms around his neck and weeping into his shoulder. "Shh… I know, Ellie."
"He didn't have to die!" she sobbed, as Gabriel rubbed her back with a strong hand.
Raphael stepped forward at that, though a single look from Gabriel kept him from approaching any farther. "No, he didn't," Raphael agreed, sorrow in his voice but not his eyes. "It's a shame, but he didn't have your skills, Eleanor. Alas. Perhaps the next will do better."
"The next?!" Eleanor shouted, ripping herself away from Gabriel and rounding on Raphael instead. "You don't understand the power you're trying to harness! NONE of you do because you've never bothered to learn! You're playing with weapons that you don't understand! Aaeon died because he didn't understand what he was doing, and neither will the "next"! How many have to die, Raphael!?"
Gabriel would have sworn he saw the corner of his brother's mouth twitch, a triumphant gleam in Raphael's eye as Gabriel grabbed Eleanor's arm to make sure she didn't do something utterly stupid, like actually attacking the archangel. Raphael didn't seem angry, though, as he shrugged elegantly and asked,
"I don't know, Eleanor… how many? How many do have to die, needlessly, when you could have saved them all by doing this one simple thing for us?"
Suddenly, Gabriel understood exactly why Raphael was so unaffected by this.
He nearly staggered, overwhelmed by the horrific epiphany, wishing he could un-realize this truth. Raphael did understand that the angel was dead… but he was not distressed, because this death had been expected.
Worse… this death had been counted on.
Perhaps Raphael had not created the first demon, but what he had done was no less evil than any of Lucifer's misdeeds. This angel had been sacrificed to get Eleanor's attention.
Gabriel went numb, a chill racing through his soul. "Oh, you son of a bitch."
"Careful, Gabriel… that's our Father you're talking about."
If he had not had Eleanor to take care of, Gabriel would have leaped at Raphael. How could he have done this to one of his own brothers?! Eleanor had seen it now, too. Gabriel felt it in the way her body went entirely rigid. He saw it in the shocked burst of light her aura released, before it faded entirely, and he felt her pain in his own soul. He knew she saw it now – this was the trap. This was the trap that they had known she would walk straight in to, in order to spare more angels.
For a long, terribly tense moment, Eleanor could say nothing. She only stared at Raphael, disbelief and horror in her tear-filled eyes.
Then, she slumped, and Gabriel knew with an enraged heart that Raphael had won. "Ellie, you don't have to do this!" he snarled, livid golden eyes burning into his elder brother. Raphael only raised an eyebrow.
"Of course she doesn't," he assured them. "Like you said… she's not one of our soldiers. I can't command her, but I can command them. I'm sure eventually one of them will come up with something. Unfortunately, we'll probably go through quite a few more failures first, but…" His fierce gaze caught Eleanor, as he finished, "…at least you can happily continue not helping."
"You bastard." Gabriel seethed. He had never been so angry. Not with Michael, not with Lucifer. This was twisted, even for Raphael. "This is sick!"
"No, this is war, Gabriel!" thundered Raphael. "There are casualties in war! I wouldn't expect you to understand, you who won't even fight to defend our home. What would you know of casualties, you haven't seen the battlefields filled with the charred wings of our brothers and sisters, cut down by the rebels! You sit up here in Heaven and act like you're righteous for sitting out, because you still refuse to see how evil Lucifer has become!"
There was a shadow, a dark and terrifying shadow, on Gabriel's face, but he didn't attack Raphael; it wouldn't bring Aaeon back. Instead, he seethed,
"Oh, I know evil when I see it, brother. But when I look at Lucifer, and when I look at you… I see no difference."
With one last furious glare, Gabriel turned his back on Raphael, an arm around Ellie as he guided her away from the terrible sight. Other angels were starting to emerge now, the horrified cry taken up by all those in Heaven; soon, a song of mourning would begin, to grieve for their fallen brother.
"El, you don't have to make the sigils," Gabriel reminded her quietly as they pushed through the gathering crowd. She was still sobbing her anguish for the dead angel, so callously tossed aside, but now she shook her head and choked out,
"I-I… I must… I can't- Aaeon didn't- they can't do it… they can't, they don't kn-know how… it's too dangerous to p-play with power you don't understand... If I don't do this..."
Gabriel wanted nothing more than to reassure her that Raphael wouldn't really ask any soldiers to try making sigils, not now that he'd seen for himself that to make a mistake could cost an angel his or her life. Gabriel wanted nothing more than to swear to her that Raphael would never risk another angel like that.
But he didn't believe it anymore.
Gabriel didn't leave Heaven while Eleanor worked on the sigils. He sat in her office, silent and watchful, while she frowned over her notes and made fierce scribbles on various scrolls. The archangel's soul hurt for her – Ellie's shoulders were so tight, her eyes so empty. The light in her soul had been all but extinguished, and he knew she hated what she was doing.
He hated it, too, but it was Michael and Raphael who were to blame. This was sick, and only the fact that Lucifer was no better was keeping Gabriel from even vaguely considering leaving with Eleanor. But this was their home, so what could they do?
Gabriel didn't like feeling so helpless, wishing he could even comfort Eleanor, but she had gone quiet. He read her like a book, knowing from her body language alone when she did or did not want any contact. Right now was a clear hand's off, but he was desperate to touch her, to rub her shoulders, or kiss her head, or do anything to give her the smallest bit of comfort and support.
Finally, Eleanor gathered up a scroll and got up abruptly from her desk without a word, walking swiftly out the door. Gabriel looked up in surprise, then followed after her, trailing behind. Perhaps she didn't want his company, or she would have said something before leaving… but he couldn't bear the thought of being away from her right now.
He would just hang back, ready to move in if necessary.
Gabriel tailed Eleanor all the way through the Halls, following her purposeful footsteps to the marble hall where Michael liked to sit and fancy himself important. Michael noticed her coming (of course, it would have been difficult to overlook her storming into the Hall) and rose with a satisfied look.
Leaning against a pillar in the background where he could watch everything without being obvious, Gabriel waited.
"Here." Eleanor's teeth were gritted, her fury evident, and she didn't seem to be trying to hide this from the archangel. "It's a banishing sigil. Follow the directions and any angel but the one who draws it will be sent away."
"Permanently?"
"No," she snapped. "But if any of Heaven's soldiers get trapped in a corner, it'll buy them time to get out."
Actually... that was damn clever, Gabriel realized with a raised eyebrow. Something the angels could clearly use as a defensive addition to their arsenal, a way to protect themselves, but without actually killing anyone. Eleanor was a genius.
A very pissed off genius. Eleanor threw the scroll down onto the floor in front of Michael, her face set in a mask of anger. Michael eyed her coolly, then snapped his fingers; the scroll jumped up to his hand. Gabriel was fairly certain that only his protection and her importance as Heaven's sole sigil crafter were letting her get away with this blatant lack of respect to the oh-so-mighty panjandrum, Mr. Big Britches himself.
"Now, was that so hard?" Michael asked in annoyance as he unrolled the scroll and gave it a cursory glance - missing the way Eleanor's flashing eyes narrowed even more. "When can we expect the next one? Perhaps one that causes a more… conclusive ending for our enemies?"
"Go to Hell," she spat out in reply. Gabriel's eyes widened and he nearly staggered back in shock, confident that no one but Lucifer had ever dared say something like that to Michael.
The archangel's cool gaze hardened at her words, and he took a step forward. Gabriel prepared to move in, not about to let him get a hand on Eleanor, but his elder brother didn't attack. Instead, he jabbed a finger at her, snarling, "You forget your place, angel. Just because Gabriel treats you like an equal doesn't mean that you are one."
Eleanor, for her part, didn't back down. Her chin lifted, as regal as a queen, and Gabriel felt the flash of spirit rising in her. "When will it be enough for you, Michael?" she demanded. "When all the angels are dead, what then?! What happens when there are no more angels left for you to command? Angels are dying-"
"War is not won without casualties! And you will not question me!"
"Michael, wake up!" pleaded Eleanor, sounding truly desperate now. "Heaven's warriors are fierce, but they aren't infinite! And you… you're so busy commanding that you probably haven't even noticed the nurseries!"
"What of the nurseries?" Michael snarled. Angels had been mercilessly punished for much less than the refusal to back down that Eleanor was showing.
Eleanor barreled right along, though, more guts and gumption than the hardiest warrior as she snapped, "They're empty, Michael!"
Silence rang across the Hall as Michael stared at her, frowning tightly. Gabriel felt himself go cold, gaping at the news that he hadn't known, either. He hadn't thought about it, but when had the last little fledgling been formed? Why had he not noticed this absence before?
Michael didn't seem to have a reply, and Eleanor finally went on, "If you paid half the attention to your home that you do your enemies, you'd have noticed! Don't you understand? There are no more fledglings. Samandriel is the last of them, Father has stopped creating angels! Wake up, Michael. There's no more recruits, no replacements. When we're all dead, what then? Who will protect the humans then? How many angels have to die in the name of your war!?"
"AS MANY AS IT TAKES!" Michael erupted, his voice echoing over the marble as his grace flared in rage. Eleanor's eyes widened and she took a step back – not in fear, but in horror at his words. Gabriel was shaken, trying and failing to pretend his brother hadn't really just said that.
Didn't he… didn't he care at all? Was beating Lucifer really the only thing that mattered to him, and screw the cost?
Eleanor just stared, at an absolute loss for words, but then, so quietly that even Gabriel almost couldn't hear her, she asked, "You know what I think?"
"Ohhhh no, hold on," Gabriel muttered, swiftly snapping his fingers. Michael's heaving chest froze; the youngest archangel had frozen time. He'd heard that tone from Eleanor before and he knew that whatever she thought, it was sure to be the final straw for Michael. He flew forward, taking Eleanor's hand as she leaned up towards Michael and hissed in a quiet, livid voice,
"Father would be ashamed of you."
"Come on, Eleanor," Gabriel whispered, too stricken to even look at Michael. His brother didn't care… he didn't even care. Yes, the words had been yelled in anger, but… somehow, they rang with a certain truth that Gabriel simply could not and would not face. He didn't want to see Michael right now, didn't want to be in his presence.
"Thanks for the backup, Gabriel," Eleanor growled, wrenching her hand away from him and flying off with a rush of wings that the archangel had never felt more disconnected from. He closed his eyes, letting out a long, miserable breath.
It was true, though, wasn't it… he hadn't backed her up. He'd stayed in the background like a coward while she faced down the eldest archangel, while she gave Michael the talking to he deserved. Eleanor, who had no authority, had stepped up, and he, an archangel, hadn't done anything but hang back in the shadows. A sickening pit formed in Gabriel's stomach, already feeling waves of guilt and shame flooding his soul.
He couldn't take much more of this, truly couldn't. Gabriel considered flying after Eleanor, but decided to give her a moment first. Instead, he unfroze Heaven and flew towards the nurseries, hesitantly pushing his way inside.
"Damn…" Gabriel walked slowly around what had once been a hall overflowing with exuberant little angels and their boisterous, tiny voices. He'd loved coming here, loved playing with the little tykes, but it had been so long since he'd given it a thought. When had Eleanor noticed it? Why hadn't she pointed this out before now?
Why hadn't he noticed?
The silence in here was deafening. It might as well have been a tomb; if this had been on Earth, there would have been cobwebs in the abandoned corners and a layer of dust on the floor. It even smelled unused, a certain mustiness that shouldn't even exist in Heaven, like a castle long forgotten. Gabriel's chest was aching, as he finally reached a far corner, where one little angel sat, entertaining himself with colored lights on the ground that filtered through a nearby window. Nearby, an older angel was watching over him dutifully, offering Gabriel a respectful nod as he approached.
"Gabriel, is there something wrong?" the angel asked, but the archangel shook his head.
"Nah, just thought I'd come see the pipsqueak," he replied with a forced cheer in his voice. Little Samandriel looked up, face lighting with awe and delight that someone had come to play with him, and it was Gabriel!
"Gabe-el!" he squealed happily, for all the world as though he'd just been handed a treasure. Samandriel giggled and clapped his hands together, scurrying over to his big brother with arms spread wide. "Gabe-el, throw!"
"Throw?" Gabriel repeated theatrically, grabbing Samandriel up and swinging him over his head so that the fledgling shrieked with laughter. "You mean like this?!" He tossed the fledgling up, ignoring the panicked expression on the fussy older angel nearby.
"Wheeeeee!" Samandriel shouted, then giggled again as Gabriel caught him easily. "Higher, Gabe-el! Higher!"
Gabriel felt his eyes burn, but he just gave Samandriel a grin and tossed him up in the air again, letting the fledgling's elated laughter fill his soul. Poor Samandriel was so happy just to have a playmate, so the archangel stayed for a while longer, letting the fledgling try to wrestle him to the floor, pretending to fall gloriously so the little one could pounce on him. This was how all angels learned to fight, the importance of tussling and playing around. Apart from being lonely, how was Samandriel supposed to learn these things without someone to play with?
After a while, the archangel could take it no more. He needed to apologize to Ellie. Not that he deserved her forgiveness for hiding in the background, but this would be so much easier to face as long as they had each other. He couldn't bear to deal with this and carry her anger as well. Gabriel knew why she was so angry with him, but he could fix that. Maybe... maybe he could do a lot more fixing than he'd been doing.
"Alright, pipsqueak, you be good, 'kay?" Gabriel said out loud, setting Samandriel down and giving him an exaggerated scowl. "Or I'll come get you!"
Samandriel giggled again, launching himself forward suddenly and wrapping his little arms around Gabriel's knees. "You're the bestest, Gabe-el!"
Damn, the rugrat really needed some playmates, Gabriel realized, Samandriel's honest delight at having company tugging at his heartstrings. Maybe the army was none of his concern, but he could delegate the task to some of the younger angels to come entertain the lonely fledgling and make sure he was getting in his fair amount of play time.
There had to be something he could do to fix the terrible things that were going on. If Eleanor could be brave enough to stand up to Michael, then surely Gabriel could make more of an effort here in Heaven.
But first, he had a soul mate to love and console.