Justin woke up fumbling for his buzzing cell phone, climbing over Brian's body to reach it on the nightstand. He finally reached it, knocking over the clock, as he pulled it free from the charger. He paused when the caller ID showed a New York number but thinking maybe it was Lindsay, he answered it anyway.

Hello

Hello, Is this Justin Taylor?

Yes, who is this?

This is Mariah Stevens with Columbia University School of the Arts. I work with a former instructor of yours, James Snyder.

Mr. Snyder? He's at Columbia?

Yes, he's a professor in our program. The reason for my call Mr. Taylor is I am coordinating a show here at Columbia. The show is called Homosexuality and Faith, its co-sponsored by the University's LGBT center and the school of Art. Mr. Snyder and I spoke and well we would love to invite you to be part of the show. Your work "Face of God" is just perfect. We would love to include it.

Um, Is this a joke? Are you kidding?

No, Mr. Taylor, I'm serious. Your painting is creating quite a buzz. James told me you're quite gifted. I was hoping you may consider applying to the school and taking a tour why you're here as well.

Yes, I would love to. Thank you, thank you so much.

That's wonderful. I will be in touch with details.

Justin did a happy dance while still lying sprawled over Brian's body.

"What was that?" he grumbled, stretching himself awake, smacking Justin's ass to encourage him to move.

"That was Columbia University. They want to show my painting at an upcoming show!" Justin practically shouted he was so excited. "And they want to show me the campus while I'm there. They are practically inviting me to apply."

Brian tried to be happy for Justin. It was great news and so important to his future but he hadn't quite shaken the events of yesterday. Joan Kinney was nothing if not a martyr for Jesus. Brian knew she would be coldly detached since this was her customary style of mothering. He anticipated a stern lecture on sin, hell, and redemption…all of this was par for the course with Saint Joan. He might have even expected the hard slap across his face issued by his mother-in-law or being wished dead by his father-in-law who had joined his mother at the door for his lynching. What he didn't expect and what filled him with unmistakable terror was the threat. The threat that the three of them would make sure that Gus was not subjected to a pervert, a child-molester, like Brian ever again.

Brian felt deep down that Lindsay would never interfere in his ability to see Gus but yet he knew she could be overly dependent on her parent's approval. Their threat combined with the influence they easily exerted over her on other matters gave Brian pause. If he hadn't been so upset he would have gone straight to Debbie's just to hold Gus. When he called hoping his son's voice would reassure him, they were going ice skating and Gus was having so much fun Brian reluctantly agreed to wait until this morning to see him.

Justin's exuberance over his Columbia call was infectious and despite a deep longing to stay in bed and wallow, Brian did eventually get up and join him downstairs.

"Want to watch another movie?" Brian asked as they settled into the couch, playfully making out like teenagers.

"No, I guess I need to pack. Lindsay will be home tonight, right?" Justin sighed regretful that their weekend had come to an end.

Brian shook his head, "Shit, Mikey's not going to Portland. Where are you going to stay?"

Justin shrugged. He had actually already put that together but he figured he would ride the sofa until something else came along or he graduated. He just knew he didn't want to stay with Lindsay after what had happened.

Brian made some phone calls to see about making other arrangements when Debbie showed up with Gus. Justin explained the situation and Debbie smiled, grabbed the phone from Brian's hand, hanging it up as she flipped the lid closed.

"What the ….?" Brian asked censoring himself upon seeing his honorary mother's disapproving look.

"Sunshine can stay with me in Michael's old room. There! Problem solved!" she laughed.

Brian kissed her in thanks and gave Gus a big hug, smiling as he listened all about his fun times at Grandma's. Justin headed up to pack presuming Brian wanted some time alone with his son after yesterday. Brian feeling his son against his chest, squeezing him tightly, started to get teary thinking of how much he needed him in his life.

"What's the matter?" Debbie asked having never seen Brian so sentimental before.

Brian filled Debbie in on his mother and the Peterson's reaction to his being out and his relationship with Justin. All of which infuriated Debbie to no end. She sat and listened patiently to what little Brian wanted to share and then as Justin joined them, she filled him in on the rules of the house.

Debbie gave Brian some privacy so Justin and Brian could say their good-byes encouraging them to load the car while she stayed with Gus.

Outside as they placed Justin's belonging in the back of Deb's station wagon, Brian grabbed Justin by the waist and pulled him close, hugging him. "I hate that you have to leave"

"I know; me too. Thanks for all you did for me. Will I see you anytime soon?"

"I don't know. I'll call you but it might be kind of hard to see each other until things settle down. I need to make sure Lindsay's okay with everything. Not just for her but you know, for Gus. I just can't risk her parents convincing her that I'm somehow bad for Gus" Brian explained.

"I know. I understand" Justin answered, kissing him one last time.

Brian and Justin finished loading up Debbie's car with Justin's belongings.

"Later" Brian whispered, squeezing Justin's hand.

"Later" Justin responded with a warm smile and little wave.

Brian spent the afternoon playing and hanging out with his son. He avoided his email and phone since most were from friends and colleagues seeking to confirm the salacious details of his gay affair with his wife's seventeen year old student. He understood that he couldn't hide forever but he needed to have some time with Gus before Lindsay got home and reality struck again. His time with Justin had been so surreal and reality was going to be a total bitch to get back to.

Lindsay's flight landed twenty minutes ahead of schedule. It figures the one time she wanted to be late; she was early. She wanted to grab Melanie's hand for support but Mel had made it clear. Nothing further could happen until she was no longer her attorney. Besides the very questionable ethics involved, Melanie also secretly thought Lindsay needed some more time to figure out what she wanted. She had never been in a relationship with a bi-sexual woman before, in fact, before Lindsay, she and most of the lesbians she knew thought bisexuality was a myth. Bisexuals were just homosexuals who hadn't fully come out yet. After meeting Lindsay; she wasn't so sure. She did seem to have a real connection with her but the woman clearly loved her husband deeply and was distraught at his being gay and the end of her marriage. Mel didn't think this was an optimal time to pursue the ravishing beauty.

Lindsay's cab pulled into her driveway and to her surprise Brian and Gus came out to greet her. She was so remorseful about what had been said during her interview. Even if it was true and she was very hurt; she never intended for Mel to out Brian and Justin's relationship in that way. She figured Brian would be furious.

Brian kissed Lindsay on her cheek and grabbed her bag from the cabbie before taking his family into their home. They used Gus and his excited recounting of his weekend as permission to delay the talk they both knew was coming. As Lindsay and Brian flanked Gus's small body in his twin bed, sharing Toy Story reading duties for the millionth time. Lindsay reading the parts of Buzz Lightyear and Brian read as Woody committing to the voices that Gus insisted they use every time. Gus looked so content and peaceful and the very real pain he was causing his family hit Brian like a ton of bricks and for the first time he considered how he might just "un-do" everything that had been done.

Gus drifted off to sleep and both parents applied loving kisses to his forehead, turning off the light and shutting the door. Lindsay left first, pausing at the guest room where Justin had been living. She took in the details of the sanitized room. The sheets had been stripped and Justin's belongings were gone but the trash by the door contained small foil packets torn open and large wads of tissue concealing what she assumed to be used condoms. She stared for a minute reflecting on what that meant, seeing evidence of Brian's weekend, evidence that he was in fact gay in every sense of the word now. He caught her staring and pulled her away from the doorway into their room not able to fully address what that rubbish had represented to Lindsay. He laid her on the bed and took off her shoes, rubbing her feet trying to show just how much he cared for her.

They both tapped dance around the issue at first limiting their conversation to facts, logistics, and household matters as they addressed finances, debts, and retirement accounts. Then Brian's voice began to waiver as they discussed Gus in terms of visitation schedules and school vacations. Lindsay probed until he finally told her about their parent's threats and through shocked eyes; she reassured him that she would never allow that to happen. Finally both bolstered by their ability to settle their affairs amicably; they dove deeper. She asked about the trash and he gave her honesty and spared her details. He asked about her about Mel and why she had said what she said. Then without a harsh word or apology, they forgave each other.

Lindsay fell asleep that night, emotionally spent, next to her husband. Both fully clothed, on top of their comforter as Brian's hand rested on her hip and hers on his. It struck Brian then that they would all be okay, just as Debbie predicted.

Justin settled into Debbie's house for wayward gay boys. He had dinner with her and told her about the Columbia offer. It was nice to have a mother figure again even if he was borrowing her from Brian and Mikey. She heaped attention and praise on him and it reminded Justin of his own mother before she knew he was gay. Jennifer used to brag to the ladies at bridge club and bible study about what a talented son she had; now he was queer and his art a source of embarrassment.

Justin turned in early, miserable to be sleeping without Brian, missing the slender, toned frame he could perfectly curl up in. He picked up his phone and exhaled seeing there were no missed calls or texts. He debated on if he should call. It was late and Lindsay was home now. Unable to fight his need to connect however superficially he typed and deleted six different versions of his text before he settled on the words he really wanted to say:

Thinking of you while I touch myself (delete)

My whole body misses you (delete)

Can't stop thinking of you (delete)

I going to miss sleeping next to you tonight (delete)

I miss you so much already (delete)

I think I'm falling in love with you (delete)

I don't want to keep this casual. I love you.

Justin hit send and instantly regretted it. It wasn't that he didn't mean what he said but he wasn't confident Brian was prepared to hear him. There were thousands of reasons for them to not be together but he knew he could make Brian happy and that man desperately needed to be happy again.

Brian felt the buzz of his text message delivered to his cell phone. He glanced at the alarm. It was after midnight. He presumed it was either Mikey or Justin and moving slowly to not disturb Lindsay, he slipped off the bed and headed into the bathroom to check his phone.

I don't want to keep this casual. I love you.

Brian stared at the message and completely foreign emotions swelled in him. As much as Brian desired Justin, as alive as he felt when they were together, it couldn't happen like this. Justin was so young. Brian's life was such a mess. He wouldn't subject him to his chaos, hold him back, allow him to waste his youth like Brian had. He never wanted to have Justin regret him.

Brian punched out a response to Justin's confession.

I don't believe in love, love is sacrifice.

Justin read the message and pulled a pillow over his head completely wrecked. He cried himself to sleep that night, confused and alone. He understood that Brian's version of love to date was sacrifice. He gave up so much of himself for Gus and Lindsay. He didn't know how to respond; so he didn't.

As passing days turned into weeks, Justin avoided Brian hoping he would finally come to him, realize what they had, somehow change his mind. He focused on his art offering to add two additional pieces to the Columbia show. He made plans to go to New York as soon as school let out for winter break, tour the campus, and see the sights. Columbia was paying for the majority of his trip but Debbie got him a job at the diner so he had some spending money and it kept him busy.

Debbie did her best to keep Brian's comings and goings hidden from Justin. Certain that Brian was right to avoid getting involved with Justin until things were settled with Lindsay and the divorce was final. She knew that her family was fragmented; Lindsay avoiding Brian, Brian avoiding Michael, Michael avoiding her because Justin was living there, Justin avoiding Brian. She had enough, Thanksgiving was coming and so she decided it was time to meddle to get everyone back to her dinner table.

Debbie called Lindsay first and invited them for Thanksgiving. She didn't ask if Justin would be there and Debbie didn't volunteer it. Then she called Michael, Emmett and Ted and invited them applying guilt as needed to get what she wanted.

Lindsay hung up with Debbie and told Brian about the invitation. He looked at her twice since he recognized Justin was likely to be there but she shrugged it off. "Do you care if Melanie comes too?" she asked him.

Unlike he and Justin, Melanie and Lindsay were still locked in a will-they-or-won't-they endless flirtation. Brian had witnessed his wife with Mel on a handful of occasions and he knew there was something there. Lindsay just looked happy around her. He was pretty sure it was still in the flirtation stages but he didn't pry.

"Not at all" he answered, if Mel was going to be around Gus, he wanted to get to know her too. Her presence would also detract from Justin's uncomfortableness around Lindsay.

Before Lindsay could pick up the phone to call Mel, her phone rang. She answered it and left the room, a new habit Brian noticed whenever she was talking to Melanie. Then Brian heard the shrill coming from the other room and ran, cast-free finally, to see what had happened.

He listened just to Lindsay's side of the conversation and waited mostly patiently for her to get off the phone and explain.

"We won!" she shrieked, giving Brian a big hug.

"You won, what?" he questioned confused.

"St. James is offering to settle. They offered $400,000" Lindsay was practically shaking.

"Holy Shit!" Brian yelled, pulling Lindsay in for another huge hug, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

They both sat down on the couch staring at each other in disbelief at their unexpected stroke of good fortune. Apparently the interview and subsequent press had caused quite a scandal especially after Mr. Snyder also told his story. The St. James School Board and Archdiocese just wanted the whole thing to go away. Lindsay chuckled as she recalled Melanie describing the larger than expected settlement as go-the-fuck-away-money.

Lindsay looked at Brian and sighed, this was the blessing she had been praying for. It was do-over money for both of them.

"Brian" Lindsay approached cautiously, "We have the house listed for $200,000 and we haven't had any takers. What do you think we can really get for it, I mean free and clear?"

"In this market, we'll be lucky to get $180,000. So after what your parents paid down, closing fees and paying off the note about $100,000 I guess"

"So I know we talked about splitting everything down the middle but I've changed my mind. I want to keep the house; Gus is happy here. I'm happy here. What if we split the settlement and I'll give you $50,000 from my half to buy you out of the house."

Brian eyes grew wide, "Linds, that settlement money is yours. I can't take that"

Lindsay shrugged, "We're still married its community property. You supported me for most of the marriage, paid all the household bills. It's fair to split it. There's one condition though…."

"And what's that?" Brian asked still floored from her offer.

"You have to use at least part of the money to start your own company. You can't keep taking the abuse at Vanguard. You're too good and they don't appreciate you."

Brian considered the offer. $250,000 was more than enough to put down on a small place and start his own ad company. He had a great network and many of his clients would come with him. He agreed easily and felt that feeling again, the one he associated with hope. It was the same feeling he got when he was with Justin.