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April's POV:
An act of God is what this is called, an act of God. This weather, that storm, that slide, all considered an act of God. The bus caught on fire, in the rain, showing to me for the first time ever how I really feel, maybe it was an act of God, maybe all of this was. But that didn't make my decision any less easy, I still had to break Matthew's heart, I still had to deal with Stephanie's sad eyes and I still had to get whispered about by the staff, by the interns, the nurses, and the residents.
"How is he doing?" Owen asked me as he walked into the room. Luckily he wasn't asking how I was doing, because inside I was falling to pieces. Richard was dead, Bailey was oddly peaceful where I left her up in psych, and I still had to tell Matthew about Jackson and I. With one glove on, I put my other hand into the glove that Nancy was holding out for me. With both gloves on, none of the rest of it mattered. I was a trauma surgeon, this was trauma, and I had to focus.
"He has decreased breath sounds on the right. Persistent stats in the 80s." I answered, as I took a step towards my patient, my head clear of worry. I couldn't control much, but I could save this mans life, that was something I had some control over today.
"Who is still missing?" The fireman on my table asked. Here he was in pain, with his fire fighters surrounding him, worrying about him, and he was still trying to find out which of his friends, which of his crew were still missing. Not only were civilians in danger, but in this slide, the firefighters were too. Matthew was an ambo, which meant he could be out there too, but I could think about that.
"Lenny, something in your chest cavity is preventing you from breathing well, so we're going to insert a chest tube which will help you breath better. Is there anyone that we can call for you?" I asked him as I wiped his body down and the nurse helped me lift his arm above his head in preparation. He wasn't breathing well, and he was in a lot of pain, and he was just one of the many patients that needed me.
"Call Marla, but don't, don't let her come up here. The roads not safe." Lenny wheezed. Nancy draped his side, I was going to have to put the chest tube in now, he needed to breathe, he had to breathe. Matthew was on these unsafe roads, he was in an ambulance, he was there alongside the firemen, and he was engaged, little did he know that he wouldn't be for long. People were dying, Richard was dead and Bailey was losing herself, and I was worrying about how to dump Matthew, while also focussing on the man in front of me.
"Guys you're going to have to go." I said looking up at the fireman, Lenny was ready, and they probably wouldn't want to see him like this and he probably wouldn't want them to. Turning my back to Lenny, Mary handed me a chest tube as they filed out, murmuring 'hang in there's and 'you'll be fine's.
"Do you still need a chest tube?" Shane asked as he walked towards us. Behind him I could see Stephanie, her tear stained cheeks briefly noticeable as the lights hit her face before she moved again. Was she crying because of Webber or was she crying because of Jackson and I? It seemed selfish of me to even think that, and I felt horrible at the thought of making Stephanie cry, but it was better now, than later. They hadn't been dating for too long, and at least it wasn't at my wedding or something insane.
"Mary already got one." I answered. Shane nodded in reply, as he placed the chest tube and whatever else he was carrying and placed it on the counter before taking a step towards me. He knows what he has to do, and so do I. In only a few quick movements, the chest tube was in place. I may not be able to repair my life, but I could do a chest tube without thinking. I can't read my own heart, I can't help but break anothers, but I have to follow my own heart, no matter how late it is to give its opinion. I love Jackson, although I do love Matthew. A smell filled my nose and I turned to face Ross who was putting the tubes together, and staring mortified as his shirt.
"Is that poop?" Ross asked, the smell confirming it. This wasn't good news for Ross or Lenny. This wasn't good for Lenny at all, he needed surgery and fast.
"I'm sorry." Lenny mumbled, looking relieved that his friends and colleagues had left already, he most definitely did not want them to see that. Ross gave him a fleeting smile before trying to wipe some of it off.
"I'm sure he has had worse sprayed on him." I said, smiling at Lenny as Ross continued to wipe his shirt for a few more seconds, before giving up. "Chest tubes in good, Lenny, you're colon has been pushed up into your chest now the risk of infection is extremely high, now if I'm right we're going to have to open you up alright? " I added, beating Owen to the punch. He usually like to do the talking but he was more subdued than usual, he was close to Richard, and him and Cristina were over, it was a hard endless shift for us all apparently.
"Get an xray and prep him for surgery. I can't scrub in with you. I'll have to man the ER." Owen said. It was clear that he didn't want to have to stay behind, he wanted to be in surgery with me, leaving his emotions in the scrub room as he focused in the OR, but without Bailey to man the ER, Owen didn't really have a choice.
"You may like to change your shirt while he's in xray." I suggested to Ross as he pulled Lenny's gurney away from me, off to xray. Ross nodded, possibly pissed at me, as he was most likely fully intending to change his shirt. Behind him, Stephanie was checking a patient and I could see her body stiffen before she looked over at me for a brief second and waved me over.
This never ending shift just go even longer.
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AN: Love knowing what you think so please review, was planning on updating earlier but some unforeseen circumstances pushed the update back a few weeks.
