Wherein Sianin's 5th birthday heralds a surprise, and James and Rose receive a surprise of their own during the summer.
Chapter rating: T
It's the chapter we've all been waiting for! Enjoy!
"Mummy! Daddy!"
James's eyes flew open and his heart raced at the panic in his daughter's voice.
"What's wrong?" Rose asked, already having pushed herself out of bed to crouch in front of Sianin. He heard Sianin sniffle, then she showed something to Rose. Cursing his eyesight in the dimly-lit room, James scrambled for his glasses then flicked on the lamp just as his wife gasped, "Oh!"
"What's wrong?" James demanded, rushing to her side.
Rose had Sianin's left arm cradled in her hands—their daughter's skin was covered in ink.
"Oh," he whispered, a lump forming in his throat.
"My soulmark is broken!" Sianin cried, fat teardrops falling down her cheeks.
That was when James noticed that the words on his daughter's arm weren't English. Nor did they belong to only one person.
"It's not broken," he said faintly, tracing a trembling finger across the green and purple ink on his daughter's arm. His newly-soulmated daughter. His baby. And he suddenly understood what his parents had meant all those years ago when they told him that seeing him get soulmated had given them conflicting emotions. He wanted to be happy for his little girl, but the only thing he felt was shock and numbness.
"Why can't I read it?" Sianin sniffled.
"It's just in another language," Rose soothed. "And it looks like you've got two soulmates."
"I-I do?" she hiccupped.
"Mhm," Rose said. She reached behind her for a tissue and blotted Sianin's face dry. "See how there are two colors of ink? And two different types of handwriting? Oh, congratulations, sweetheart! This is so wonderful."
James snapped out of his daze when Rose reached out and pinched his side.
"So wonderful," he repeated, watching Rose embrace Sianin. His voice sounded hollow even to his ears. "Soulmates are a beautiful thing."
"How am I supposed to write them if they're not talking English?" she asked worriedly, pulling back from Rose's hug to stare at her arm.
"We'll figure something out," Rose promised. "First, you need to introduce yourself so they both know they've got a second soulmate."
"But they won't be able to understand me," Sianin pouted.
"The important thing is that they'll know they have another soulmate," Rose said. "Why don't you hop into our bed, sweetheart? Daddy and I are going to go find a pen for you."
James looked at Rose in confusion, but her gaze was sharp as she jerked her head to the door. Puzzled, he followed after her. When they got to the kitchen, Rose whirled on him and hissed, "Can you at least try to pretend you're happy for our daughter?"
He flinched at the bite in her voice. His mouth moved, but no words came out. Heat burned the tips of his ears and scalded down his cheeks and neck as he eventually mumbled, "Sorry. It took me by surprise, is all."
"Me too," Rose said, "but this is an amazing thing for Sianin."
"But she's only five!" he blurted out. "Our little girl just found the people who are her perfect match in every way."
Rose arched an eyebrow. "And? I found you when I was five. Besides, it's not like they're gonna come whisk her away and we'll never see her again. Or that this means we better start wedding planning or anything. As you said, she's five! We've got thirteen more years with her before she can meet her soulmates, and even then, it's not as though she'll never visit us again."
"I know, Rose, it's just hard, is all," he said defensively. "You can't tell me you're not conflicted."
"A little, but I'm more happy than anything," Rose said. "I know the joy in growing up with a soulmate. God, James, you've been my best friend for as long as I can remember. I can barely remember a time when you weren't there, and that makes me so unspeakably happy. And now our daughter has the chance to experience that same happiness."
James sighed, and the muscles in his neck and shoulders loosened. "You're right. I know you're right. But…" He gave a small shrug.
Rose stepped up to him and placed her hands on his chest. He reached up and rested his hands atop hers.
"No matter how conflicted you feel, and no matter how long you feel this way, I need you to promise me that you will be nothing but happy and encouraging while Sianin can see or hear you," Rose said, her tone holding no room for arguments. "I grew up with a mother who was unsupportive and oftentimes downright nasty about me having a soulmate, and I will not—will not—have Sianin exposed to even a fraction of that negativity."
A band squeezed around James's chest as shame unfurled through him. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and nodded.
"You're right," he croaked. "I'm sorry, Rose."
She slid her hand up his chest to wrap around the back of his neck and tugged him in for a hug. He held her tightly, pressing his lips to the side of her head, before pulling back.
Rose grabbed a pen that wrote well on skin from her purse. Together they walked back to their bedroom, where Sianin was waiting for them in the center of their bed.
James gave Rose's fingers a squeeze and dropped her hand to slide onto the mattress beside Sianin. He wrapped his arm around his daughter and leaned down to pepper kisses to the crown of her head.
"I'm very happy for you, darling," he whispered, pulling back to give her a soft smile. "And I can't believe I haven't told you this yet, but Happy Birthday! Five years ago today you gave me the gift of becoming a dad again and have brought me so much joy over the years."
Sianin grinned up at him, then turned to Rose as she slid into bed. "Did you get my pen?"
"Of course," Rose said, handing it to their daughter.
James relaxed back into the pillows and kept his arm around Sianin as she wrote out her very first message to her soulmate—a simple Hi! I'm Sianin! As they waited for a reply, James rested his hand on Rose's thigh. Rose looked over at him and smiled as she covered his hand with hers.
"Why aren't they replying?" Sianin asked, frowning.
"Depending where they live, they might be asleep," Rose answered. "Or busy. Have a bit of patience."
Before they could say anything else, a knock sounded on the ajar door and Ainsley popped her head into the room. A bright smile lit up her face and she skipped towards them. "Happy Birthday, Sianin!"
Ainsley froze by the bed when she saw Sianin's exposed forearms. James's stomach plummeted when he saw Ainsley's eyes well with tears.
Oblivious to her sister's distress, Sianin crowed, "Ainsley, guess what? I'm soulmated! With two soulmates!"
The first of Ainsley's tears fell, and she let out a strangled sob as she turned and fled the room. James was already scrambling free of the blankets, ready to go after his daughter and offer her whatever comfort he could.
"What did I say?" Sianin asked.
"Nothing, sweetheart."
James turned and saw Rose had hauled their daughter into her lap. He met Rose gaze, and she nodded, telling him to go after Ainsley.
As he entered the hallway, he could hear her sobs even through her closed bedroom door. The sound shattered his heart. He knocked once but immediately entered and saw Ainsley curled around her pillow.
"Oh, darling," he murmured, stepping up to her. "Shh, come here, Ainsley. Shh. It's all right. You're all right."
"It's not fair!" she screamed, letting him pull her into his arms. The front of his shirt was damp within seconds. "It's not fair!"
"I know," he said. For the first time in his life, he felt bitter towards the soulmate system for breaking his little girl's heart. "I know it's not."
"Why does she get a soulmate?" Ainsley sobbed. "It's not fair, and I hate her!"
"Hey," James chastised. "Don't say that about your sister. She couldn't help it, Ains."
"It's not fair!" she cried again. "Why does she get two soulmates and I don't even have one?"
"I don't know," he whispered, helpless.
"Why am I not good enough for a soulmate?" Ainsley whimpered, trembling as she gasped for breath.
"Oh, darling, no! That's not it at all!" James said firmly, squeezing her tight. "Ainsley, you are so special and amazing and I love you so much."
She sucked in a shuddering breath and continued to cry against his shoulder.
"Then why am I not soulmated?"
"I don't know." He hated that he didn't have an answer for her. "No one knows the mechanism behind soulmates. It's one of life's biggest mysteries. But not being soulmated doesn't mean you're any less important or any less loveable than someone who is."
He sat on Ainsley's bed with her for many long minutes, consoling her whenever her tears started up again. Rose eventually came in to check on them, her face pinched with worry.
"How are we doing in here?" she asked softly.
Ainsley shrugged and rubbed at her eyes.
"I'm sorry you're so upset, sweetheart," Rose murmured, sitting on Ainsley's other side.
Ainsley shrugged again and let her mum pull her in for a hug.
"I got a reply!" Sianin sprinted into the room and thrust her arm into James's face. "From them both. And guess what? My soulmates are girls!"
"Get out of my room, Sianin," Ainsley said stiffly, glaring at her little sister.
James stood up off the bed and held out his hand for his youngest.
"Come on, darling," he said. "Come help me make breakfast. You get your big special birthday breakfast, remember?"
"Ainsley, you're being rude," Sianin said, folding her arms across her chest.
"Please leave, Sianin," Ainsley whispered, clenching her hands into fists as she blinked away fresh tears.
"Don't be rude just 'cos you're jealous I've got soulmates."
"Get out of my room!" Ainsley shrieked, throwing one of her stuffed animals at Sianin. It bounced harmlessly off her legs, but the five-year-old still yelped.
James plucked Sianin up into his arms and walked with her out of Ainsley's room, shutting the door behind him.
"Ainsley threw something at me!"
"I know she did," James said as he sat with her on the living room sofa. "And that wasn't very nice of her. But you weren't being nice to her, either."
"I wanted to tell her about my soulmates," Sianin said. "But she was being mean."
"I know. But you know Ainsley has always loved the idea of soulmates and has wanted one of her own."
"It's not my fault she doesn't have one," Sianin grumbled.
"I know it's not. I wasn't trying to say that it was your fault. But Sianin, you were being insensitive by rubbing it in her face. Couldn't you see how upset she was?" A guilty look crossed Sianin's face, and she dropped her gaze to the floor. "She asked you to leave her alone, and you didn't listen, which made her even more upset."
Sianin loosed a small breath, then glanced down the hallway. "I'm gonna go say sorry."
She began to scoot off his lap, but James caught her around the waist. "Let's wait until she calms down a little bit, eh? How about we make breakfast?"
"Is Ainsley gonna come eat?"
"I'm not sure," he admitted. Judging by how upset his eldest was, and the fact she and Rose were still shut away in her room, he suspected not.
Sianin's shoulders drooped. Her birthday was not going well at all, and James's heart broke for both his children.
"Then can we wait 'til later?" Sianin asked. "Maybe this weekend?"
"Of course we can," James answered. "But you still need to eat. So let's make some toast or something and you can tell me all about your soulmates."
Sianin's eyes went wide and she looked down at her arms, where a series of messages was waiting for her.
As James ate breakfast with Sianin, he listened to Sianin tell him about her new soulmates. Elena was eight years old and living in a small town in southern Pennsylvania after her family moved to the United States from Puerto Rico a few years ago. Juliette was seven years old and lived just outside of Nice, France. Elena had learned English when her family moved to the United States, then she'd learned French upon becoming soulmated to Juliette. As such, she served as a translator between Juliette and Sianin.
"They wanna know how to pronounce my name," Sianin said, frowning at her arm. "How do I tell them in writing?"
"Sound it out," James encouraged.
"Shhhhaaaawniiiin." The furrow between her brows deepened with frustration. "It's still spelt the same."
"What letters make the "sh" sound?" James prompted.
"S and I," she answered.
"No, no, in the normal context of the English language," he clarified. "If I asked you to spell the word "sheep", what letters make the "sh" sound?"
"S and H." She paused. "Why's my name spelt so weird?"
James snorted. "It's got Celtic and Irish roots. So the S and I together make a "sh" sound."
She blinked at him, but then turned back to her arm. Slowly, and with the help of her dad, Sianin was able to phonetically spell out her name for her soulmates.
As the time drew nearer to seven-thirty and Ainsley still hadn't left her room, James shooed Sianin off to finish her morning routine while he checked on his other daughter. She was curled up on her bed, and Rose was spooned behind her, humming softly. Ainsley's eyes were red and puffy, but she wasn't crying anymore.
"How are you doing, sweetheart?" he asked, crouching down beside her.
She shrugged. "Mum said I can stay home with her today."
James glanced behind Ainsley at Rose. Her heartbreak was clear in her eyes. He turned his attention back to Ainsley and nodded. "Sounds like a good idea." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I love you so much, Ainsley."
"Love you, too."
"I'm really sorry I was being insensitive, Ainsley."
James wheeled around and saw Sianin peeking around the door frame. He was about to usher her out again when Ainsley sighed.
"Thanks, Sian." She paused and he heard Rose whisper something, then she said, "I'm sorry I threw a stuffed animal at you. I shouldn't throw things when I'm upset."
"It's okay."
"No, it's not," James said to his youngest. "But you can thank her for her apology."
Sianin squinted at him in confusion, but shrugged and said, "Thank you for apologizing."
"Right, time for school," James said, resting his hand on Sianin's shoulder and guiding her to the front door to grab her shoes.
"Isn't Ainsley coming?"
"No, she's gonna stay home today," James answered.
Sianin's face fell. "Because of me?"
James shook his head. "No, no. She's just not feeling well. Come, before we're late."
The day passed by excruciatingly for James. He wished he could go home to be with Ainsley, but he had too much work to do. He barely had a minute to breathe until he reached his lunch hour.
As he drove to pick up the Chinese he'd ordered, he called Rose.
"How's she doing?" he said as soon as his wife answered.
"Loads better," Rose said. "We went out for breakfast, then we saw a film at the cinema, and now your dad is here playing cards with us."
"Great," he breathed.
"Yeah. My heart has never hurt so much before, James," she sighed. "I don't know what to do. It kills me that Ainsley is upset, but at the same time, I'm so excited for Sianin. I feel like a shit mum no matter what I do or say because either way I'll be upsetting one of my children."
"I know how you feel." He dug his finger into his eye and drummed other hand against the wheel. "You're not a shit mum though. You're an amazing mum. So amazing. You're handling this situation beautifully."
"Thanks. I don't feel like it, but thanks. Anyways, I want to talk to you about something. D'you have a minute?"
"Yep, I'm driving to pick up my lunch."
"I was thinking that we should give Sianin the opportunity to learn French and Spanish," Rose said. "Hire a tutor for her so she can talk to Elena and Juliette."
"Well, she can already talk to Elena," James said. "So really, French would be all she needs."
"James, neither of her soulmates' native languages are English. If she learns French for Juliette, it might be rude to not learn Spanish for Elena. Especially if Sianin wants to be able to communicate with her family later on in life."
"Oh. I never thought of that."
"I know," she teased.
He blew a raspberry over the phone, then said, "All right. We can research tutors for her."
"And… And I think we should let Ainsley learn French and Spanish, too, if she wants."
"Why?" he asked blankly.
"We can't offer to let Sianin learn new languages and not extend that opportunity to Ainsley," Rose said with a hint of exasperation. "Even if she doesn't want to, we need to at least give her a choice and let her decide if this is something she wants to learn."
"Ah, right. Blimey. I'm being kinda dense today."
Rose laughed over the phone and said, "Yeah, just a little. But I love you anyway."
"Good, 'cos you're kinda stuck with me."
"There's no one else I'd rather be stuck with."
He smiled at her soft tone and his heart did a small stutter in his chest.
"I love you loads," he said, turning into the restaurant. "I've gotta go."
"Love you, too. See you tonight. Bye."
The next few days passed with a layer of tension in the house. Ainsley barely played with Sianin, and would often leave the room when she saw Sianin writing on her arms. She left before she could see the heartbreak on her little sister's face, but James and Rose always saw it.
After several days of this behavior, and after Sianin cried to him and Rose that Ainsley didn't love her anymore, James finally spoke to his eldest.
"You need to be kinder to your sister," he said. "You've been ignoring her all week, and it's hurting her feelings."
"I'm not ignoring her," Ainsley muttered, but a faint blush stained her cheeks as she ducked her head.
"Yeah, you are," James said gently. "I understand that you're upset, but you can't keep treating Sianin the way you've been. Are you honestly going to be angry with her and avoid her for the next thirteen years?"
"Well, I turn eighteen in only ten years, so…" Ainsley shrugged, but James just frowned. She sighed, her shoulders slumping. "I'm sorry, Daddy."
His heart squeezed. "I know. And I know how you feel, darling. I felt like this, too. When I was your age, I desperately wanted a soulmate and got upset when I thought about not having one. But then I realized I didn't want to focus on the negativity in my life when I had so much happiness and love around me."
"But it's not the same. You eventually got your soulmate," Ainsley argued.
"I know I did, but at the time I didn't realize I would get one," he said patiently. "Aren't you tired? Tired of being so sad and angry and distant from your sister? Don't you miss her?"
Ainsley sniffed and shrugged one shoulder. After a beat, she nodded.
"Sianin misses you, too," James said, reaching out to rest his hand on Ainsley's forearm. "You're her best friend."
"Not anymore I'm not," she mumbled.
"Her having soulmates doesn't replace you. Nothing will ever change the fact that you're her big sister. You're the coolest big sister a kid could want, and Sianin just… She adores you, Ains."
A hint of a smile crossed her lips, and she leaned her head against his shoulder. James wrapped his arm around his eldest and tugged her closer into his side. He rested his cheek against the top of her head and for a minute, neither of them spoke.
"Will it get easier?" she said out of the blue. "How I feel?"
"Yeah. It will. You've had a tremendous shock, but the tightness in your chest and belly will fade. Trying to focus on your happiness will help, but don't ignore your sadness either. Just make sure you don't fixate on your sadness. And if you ever need or want to talk about how you're feeling, I'm always here for you. Mum, too. We will always be here for you." James leaned down to press a kiss to her hair. "You know, it's not too late for you to get a soulmate. It could still happen."
To his surprise, Ainsley sucked in a sharp breath as her body tensed against his.
"Can you please stop saying things like that?" she asked, her voice thin. "It just… it really hurts. Because I might not… probably won't have a soulmate, and you saying over and over again that it could still happen makes me get my hopes up, but then it doesn't happen and it makes me sad all over again."
Something cracked in James's chest, and he tightened his hold around Ainsley.
"I'm sorry, darling," he whispered. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I don't like to see you sad, so I tried to make you feel better." But he knew first-hand how painful empty reassurances could be. It killed him to realize his attempts to make his daughter feel better had been making it worse all along. "I'm sorry."
They sat together for many long minutes, neither of them saying anything. Ainsley eventually gave him a squeeze and ducked out from under his arm, saying, "I'm gonna go apologize to Sianin."
"Hey Ains." She turned back around, and he smiled softly at her. His heart overflowed with love for his child. "I'm proud of you. So proud. And I love you so much."
She flashed him a small smile then turned and left the room.
After that, things gradually drifted back to normal.
James and Rose hired a language tutor for the girls to teach them French, electing to have the girls study one language first. Then, once they showed proficiency, they would introduce them to Spanish.
The kids had language lessons three days a week, sprinkled among the other activities they were involved in. To their dismay, Sianin was getting frustrated with the French lessons, especially when Ainsley was soaking it up like a sponge.
"Be patient, sweetheart," Rose reassured after a particularly rough night when Ainsley passed a verbal exam with flying colors while Sianin failed miserably. "You're still learning."
"Then why doesn't Ainsley suck like me?" Sianin grumbled, crossing her arms across her chest as she pushed her workbook away from her.
"Don't talk about yourself like that. You don't suck," James soothed. "As Mum said, you're learning. Try not to compare yourself to your sister. You both learn in different ways and at different speeds, but that doesn't mean you won't eventually get it."
But Sianin was still struggling to grasp the language even after two months, whilst Ainsley had very basic fluency. Ainsley was ready to begin studying a second language, but when James and Rose asked her if she wanted to start, she shook her head and declined until Sianin was ready, too.
Shortly thereafter, they saw Ainsley working with Sianin every night, practicing her pronunciation and sentence structure. The progress was slow, but it was there, and as the school year drew to a close, Ainsley's fluency was good enough that she could hold simple conversations entirely in French, while Sianin could read and write basic sentence fragments, enough to have rudimentary conversations with Juliette in her native language. The newly-soulmated trio still often needed Elena to serve as a translator, a job she was happy to perform as Sianin learned French and Juliette learned English.
Ainsley had resulted to speaking primarily in French to Sianin during their little lessons to help train her ear to better hear the language. James was so proud of his eldest for being such a big help to her sister.
James's school term finally ended, and while he had requested to teach just one summer class to give him free time to spend with Rose, the university needed him to teach one lecture class and one lab class. That unfortunately meant he had to go into the university every Monday through Thursday, but he was often done by noon every day. While not ideal, it still gave James plenty of free time to spend with Rose.
Their relationship was stronger than ever, and he was beyond relieved that their decision to stop using condoms hadn't had an impact on their emotional wellbeing. They continued their weekly date nights and monthly weekend trips, and their sex life was as robust as it had been in the early years of their relationship.
James planned an end-of-term trip for him and Rose to give themselves a weekend alone before family trips would soon make an appearance. They traveled to Ireland for an extended weekend and stayed in a little cottage by the sea. Among the sightseeing adventures, James and Rose spent a lot of time in bed, bringing each other to pleasure over and over again.
"How can I still want you so much?" Rose sighed as he kissed his way up her body from where he'd been positioned between her thighs.
"Complaining?" he mumbled, tasting every inch of her skin.
"God, no," she laughed. The sound died on a whimper when he nipped at the sensitive skin beneath her breast. "I feel like a horny teenager."
"Good. It means I'm doing my job."
He let out a yelp when Rose reached up and shoved his chest, sending him sprawling onto his back. She followed with more agility than he'd expected from her post-orgasmic state, and soon she was straddled across his hips. But rather than do anything, she simply rested her hands on his chest and mindlessly caressed her thumbs through his chest hair.
Before he could ask if everything was okay, she smiled down at him and said, "I love you."
Those words fizzed through his veins, and he beamed. "I love you, too."
"I don't think I've told you lately, but you are an amazing lover."
His cheeks warmed with a combination of pride and bashfulness. "Well, I do my best."
Rose shook her head. "You do more than that. You always make sure my desires are satisfied before you even think of addressing your own. That's just… it's amazing, honestly. You're amazing."
He preened and gave her thighs a quick squeeze of thanks. "What did I do to warrant all of these compliments?"
"Nothing. Well, not nothing, 'cos you made me come twice with your tongue already tonight. But it's something I think about every time we make love—how lucky I am to have you as mine. Because not every woman is as lucky as me to have such an attentive lover. I feel like I don't tell you often enough, but these things ought to be said, y'know? Not just that you're a bloody good shag, but you are a bloody good husband, father, and partner."
James leveraged himself into a seated position and tucked his face into her neck as he hugged her. Her arms looped around his neck and they sat there for a long minute, merely holding each other.
"I know, Rose. I know. Even if you don't tell me these things in words, I know."
He pulled back far enough to catch her lips in a soft kiss. She hummed into the kiss and angled her head to the side to deepen it. Her arms unwound from around his neck before her hands pushed at his chest. He slowly lowered himself back against the pillows, not breaking their kiss. But when he went to roll to pin Rose to her back, she popped her lips away from his.
"Nuh uh," she panted. "Your turn."
"But I wasn't done playing with you," he whined.
"And what if I want to play with you?"
Any further protests he might have uttered died on a long moan when she took him in her hand and pressed open-mouthed kisses to his chest.
Afterwards, Rose stayed astride him and tucked her forehead against his collarbone. Her panting breaths tickled his skin, and he hummed as lingering endorphins prickled throughout his body, dragging him into a half-aware haze.
He wrapped his arms around Rose and absently caressed his fingertips in long strokes down her bum and thighs, then back up again. He almost felt as though he could drift asleep when Rose murmured, "Are we still doing okay?"
It took a moment for her words to register, and even then, his brain was slow to pick up on their meaning.
"Hmm?"
Rose pressed a kiss to his shoulder, then pushed herself up. He grunted when he felt himself slip out of her. She grimaced, too.
"Hang on a sec," she said, and she lifted herself off of him and moved to the loo to clean up.
James cleaned himself up a bit too and tugged on a pair of boxers before settling back against the pillows to wait for Rose. The orgasmic fog was slowly leaving his brain, and he considered her words and what they might mean. A few minutes later, Rose exited the loo and joined him in bed. She lay down on her side, prompting James to mirror her position.
When they were both settled, she said, "It's been six months since our decision to stop using condoms. I wanted to make sure we're still doing okay."
He studied her silently for a minute. Her posture was relaxed. There were no worry lines around her eyes or mouth. Her nails weren't bitten down to nubs. And yet…
"Are you doing okay?" he asked. His stomach ached slightly as he worried that he'd maybe missed signs that Rose was struggling again. But she'd promised to tell him, and he trusted that promise. Even now, he used that faith to quiet his anxieties.
"Yeah, I'm great," she said, and he beamed. "But we haven't exactly done any sort of check-in, so I figured I'd make sure, y'know?"
"Yeah, I know." He reached over and carded his fingers through her hair, then scooted closer until the tip of his nose brushed hers. "And yes, I'm doing great, too." He pressed a soft kiss to her lips, enjoying her small hum of appreciation. He pulled back from the kiss and rested his forehead against hers. "We're the best team in the universe and we'll always be great together."
"Such a sap," Rose teased, her tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth as she grinned.
"Oh, you love it," he crooned. He leaned forward and flicked his tongue across the tip of hers.
She shrieked but burst out laughing. The sound warmed James from the inside out, and the sound of his own merriment soon joined hers.
oOoOo
Forearm-deep in hot, soapy water, James listened to Rose tell him about the reservations she'd booked for their trip to Brighton at the end of the month. It would be a family trip, with Jackie and Robert joining them for a long weekend.
As she talked, she shoveled spoonfuls of ice cream into her mouth. Her spoon clinked against her bowl until it was empty. Then, she stepped over to him and dropped the bowl and spoon into the water and moved away.
"Oi!"
She spun around and arched an eyebrow.
"I feel very taken for granted. My wife stands beside me eating ice cream as I slave over the dishes. Does she offer me a bite of ice cream? No. Does she offer to help? Nope. What she does do is add two extra dishes!"
Rose folded her arms across her chest, her eyes twinkling with amusement at his dramatic tone. He pouted, hoping for any smidgen of sympathy, but it had no effect on her. She cackled and stepped up to him, bumping her hip against his.
"Go on. Finish up. I'll be waiting on the couch for you."
"Good ole Netflix and chill?"
She rolled her eyes. "Sianin picked tonight's film, just so you know."
"Well, as long as I still get to cuddle you, I don't care what we watch."
Rose smiled at him, and stepped up to brush her lips across his cheek. She paused with her mouth to his ear to murmur, "We can see about the other kind of Netflix and chill later tonight, if you want?"
He squeaked when she nipped at his earlobe. Warmth rippled under his skin to pool in his gut.
"Yeah. Yep. Yes. Sounds good. Can't wait!"
Rose laughed at him, then turned away from him to wander into their living room.
James hurried through the rest of the dishes, deciding to let them air dry. Rose was waiting for him on the couch, as she'd promised. She was sitting beside the seat that reclined, and had her legs pulled up under her.
The kids were both squished side-by-side on the recliner. Sianin had the television remote in her hand and was waiting to play the movie she'd picked. She was curled against Ainsley, who was reading How to Train Your Dragon, albeit slowly as she sounded out certain words to herself.
He reached down and patted his daughters' heads as he passed by them before he plopped onto the sofa cushion beside Rose. As soon as his bum hit the seat, Sianin hit the play button on the movie. James opened his arm for Rose. He let out a sigh when she pressed herself tightly into his side and wrapped her arm around his waist.
He brushed a kiss to her forehead, then cradled her jaw in his hand to angle her face up for a proper kiss. The kiss had barely even started when Ainsley, still reading her book, said, "If you're just gonna snog the whole time, you can go to your room."
James rolled his eyes to himself. He pressed a final kiss to Rose's lips and settled back into his seat.
"We're not gonna snog," he said.
Sianin snorted. "You always snog."
James shook his head fondly at his daughters and nuzzled his nose into Rose's hair as he settled in to watch the movie. Part way through, he felt Rose nodding off beside him. Her body jerked every time she woke herself up again and again. Smiling, James reclined his seat back further, creating a more comfortable angle for Rose to nap in.
She rested her cheek overtop his chest and tucked her feet under his calves. She was buried as close to his warmth as she could be. The July night was cool, and a breeze from the open window was blowing right against them.
"Sianin, darling," James called out softly. She turned her head to look at him. "Can you do Daddy a favor? Can you hand me a blanket?"
Sianin let out a long-suffering sigh, but she slid off of the recliner and grabbed one of the blankets draped overtop the chair. She walked it over to James.
"Thank you," he said.
"You're welcome."
Sianin plopped down beside her sister once more and tugged the second blanket off the top of the recliner. James tossed the blanket over him and Rose, then he watched Sianin wrestle to wrap her blanket around her and Ainsley's shoulders before snuggling into her sister's side.
"Are you comfy?" James asked Rose as she tucked her cheek against his shoulder again. There wasn't a single place their bodies were touching, it seemed, and James loved it.
"Mhm," she mumbled. "Nice and toasty. You're the comfiest pillow."
He gave her shoulders a squeeze and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Moments later, he heard her let out a quiet snore as she fell asleep again.
She slept against him for the remainder of the film as well as the mindless television program Sianin turned to after the movie ended. When James roused her so that he could get the kids ready for bed, she was incredibly groggy and it took her a few moments to get her bearings.
"Are you feeling all right?" he asked when he saw that she looked as though she were about to fall back asleep sitting up.
"Yeah, just knackered all of a sudden," she yawned, rubbing the heels of her hands into her eyes.
"Go to bed, Rose," he said softly, holding out his hands to help her stand. "I'll be in when the kids are tucked in."
"M'kay."
She stood and stretched, then she walked over to their daughters.
"I love you," she murmured to each child, pulling them in for goodnight hugs and kisses. "Sweet dreams."
When Rose disappeared down the hallway, James turned to Sianin. "Bath time, little missy."
"Can I watch one more cartoon?" she asked, pouting out her bottom lip.
"Nope, it's already bedtime," James said, pointing to the clock on the wall. "See the little hand? It's on the eight. And the big hand is on the twelve, so that means it's…"
"Eight-twelve," Sianin said confidently, nodding to herself.
"Not quite," he corrected. "It's eight o'clock."
Sianin frowned at her father as if he was utterly mistaken about the entire concept of time.
"Daddy, the big hand is on the twelve," she said with a long-suffering sigh.
"I know it is, and I know you're just trying to delay bedtime," he said, smirking when he saw Sianin's sheepish smile. "Come, Sian. Let's get you squeaky clean."
"Squeak squeak!" Sianin laughed and turned to trot towards the bathroom, stripping off her t-shirt as she went.
James shook his head at his youngest, then turned to his eldest. "I'll tuck you in when I've finished giving Sianin a bath."
"Can I finish this chapter?" Ainsley asked.
"Sure thing. Make sure you're in your pjs and in bed by the time Sianin's bath is over."
He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Ainsley's head before he followed Sianin into the bathroom.
Her baths were taking longer now that she was doing most of the washing herself, and James dutifully supervised as she worked her mousey hair into a rich lather of shampoo.
When she'd finished bathing herself, James held open a towel for his youngest and wrapped her in it, hugging her tight as he blew raspberries into her damp neck. She shrieked with laughter and squirmed in his arms, then blew raspberries of her own into his neck.
He finished drying her off and waited as she dressed herself and brushed her teeth. He then followed her to her bedroom and they sat on the floor as he meticulously dried her hair and brushed it until it fell neatly down her shoulders.
Sianin then sprang to her feet and grabbed two of her favorite books and held them in her arms as she nestled into her mattress. When she was comfy, she extended the books to James and settled in for her bedtime stories.
She was awake but drowsy when James stood up and pressed a long kiss to her forehead then left her room and stepped into Ainsley's. His eldest was sitting up in bed, her book still in her lap.
"That looks like more than one chapter."
Ainsley jumped, not having heard him come in, and smiled sheepishly. "I got hooked."
"Understandable. It's a fantastic book."
"Can we finish the chapter together?" She extended the book towards him, and he couldn't say no.
He sat beside her on her bed, tucking his daughter into his side as he read the end of the chapter to her.
"Thanks for reading with me," she said, yawning.
"Anytime, darling," he said, standing from the mattress. He brushed her hair away from her eyes then kissed her forehead. "Goodnight, Ainsley. I love you."
She mumbled something in answer, then tucked herself into a tight ball and hugged her blankets to her chest and closed her eyes. He turned her light off then closed her bedroom door behind him.
Rose was miraculously still awake when he got to their bedroom, but just barely. She was curled around his pillow and her eyes were drooping with exhaustion.
"You didn't have to wait up," James said, shutting their door behind him.
"We said we'd revisit the euphemistic Netflix and chill," she said, rubbing her fingertips into her eyes.
At her words, James realized her top half was bare. He snorted in incredulity.
"Love, you'd fall asleep mid-way through," he drawled, "and that would put quite a dent in my self-esteem. We can rain check."
"Okay," she said, yawning. "Sorry. I dunno why I'm so tired."
"Hopefully you're not coming down with something." He stepped up to her side of the bed and pressed the backs of his fingers to her cheek, then her forehead. Her skin was warm from being pressed into the pillow, but it didn't feel feverish. "Sleep, Rose."
"I want a cuddle," she said. "Hurry up and get naked."
James barked out a laugh, and he stripped off his clothes until he was left in his pants. He rushed through his nighttime routine and slipped into bed beside his wife, groaning when her bare body pressed up against his.
"I love naked cuddles," she mumbled, clutching him tightly to her.
"As do I," he replied, enjoying the way her bare breasts pressed into his chest. There was nothing arousing about their embrace, only a deep sense of security and satisfaction. His chest was full of love, and he nuzzled his nose into her hair. "I love you so much, Rose."
"Love you, too, James."
He stroked his hand in long, slow lines down her bare back until she was snoring into his chest. He indulged himself in their cuddle for many more minutes until he, too, felt drowsy enough to attempt sleep.
He gently disentangled himself from her, glad that she stayed asleep, then he rolled onto his back and fell asleep.
Rose slept like the dead and didn't awake again until James's phone blared far too early for her liking. She grunted and nuzzled further into her pillows, content to get more sleep. But all too soon, James was rousing her, whispering, "Love, time to wake up. Remember I have a meeting before lab, or else I'd drop the kids off."
She blinked up at him, trying to get his face to focus. "What time is it?"
"Nearly seven," he answered, brushing a kiss to her forehead. "C'mon. Up you get."
Rose heaved out a sigh and sat up. She rubbed her fingers into her gritty eyes, then leaned up to give James a proper good morning kiss.
"I'll see you later," he said. "Love you."
"Love you, too," she yawned.
Her stomach grumbled at her, which was enough incentive to finally crawl out of bed. She tossed on a dressing gown and moved to the kitchen, where Ainsley was eating a bowl of oatmeal.
Rose put two pieces of bread into the toaster and started the kettle for tea. When her toast was done, she put another slice in for Sianin, who was still getting dressed.
Minutes later, her youngest skipped into the kitchen.
"Grab a piece of fruit and something to drink," Rose ordered, nodding to Sianin's plate of toast.
She mindlessly munched on her own toast and hoped the caffeine from her tea would kick in soon. Her head felt too heavy.
"Mummy, I need help!"
Sianin rushed up to Rose, holding something in her little hand. It was brown and yellow and the tip of it was vaguely smooshed. Rose's stomach flipped over in disgust when she saw the overripe banana in her daughter's hand.
"Sweetheart, don't you want one that's not as brown?" she asked hopefully, scrunching up her nose at the putrid smell of the fruit.
"No, I like them like this," Sianin said firmly.
A moment later, Sianin thrust the fruit into Rose's face. Both ends were mutilated from Sianin's clumsy attempts to open it on her own. Bits of mushy banana innards were leaking out of the squished tips, and when Rose's thumb sank into the fruit, her stomach rolled. The scent of the banana pervaded her senses, lodging in her nostrils and settling deep in her stomach.
Rose stopped breathing as her stomach threatened to empty its contents. Her mouth watered and her tongue was too heavy, but she swallowed against her sudden nausea.
There would be no easy way to open it, not when Sianin had mangled each end of the fruit. Rose stood and walked to the counter for a knife. Efficiently sawing the banana in half, she handed it back to Sianin.
"There, sweetheart, that should make it easier." At the sight of the slimy, yellow-brown interior of the fruit, Rose realized she was in very real danger of vomiting up her breakfast. "Finish eating, then brush your teeth. Both of you. I'm going to get dressed."
She nearly sprinted to her bedroom and barely made it to the toilet in time to vomit violently, the scent of the banana still lodged in her nose. Rose's stomach heaved again.
She spent several minutes coughing over the toilet, her eyes closed against the throbbing in her temples.
Stupid, bloody banana, she grumbled to herself. Should've chucked the bunch out a week ago.
After five minutes and no more vomit, Rose flushed the toilet then pushed herself to her feet again. Meandering to the en suite, she rinsed her mouth out, then splashed cool water onto her flushed face. Her cheeks were pale but regaining a bit of color the longer she stood in front of the mirror.
What the hell was that about? she wondered. Her stomach clenched up at the thought that she might have caught some sort of stomach bug. It couldn't be something she ate, as James and the girls had eaten the same thing as her the night before and they were fine.
She made a mental note to stop by the supermarket on the way home to pick up softer foods for her stomach. Although, since she would be at the store anyway, Rose began to make a list of other supplies they were running low on.
Opening up the cabinets in their en suite, Rose grabbed her phone and started her list. She stopped short when she saw the unopened blue and yellow box of tampons. James had picked those up after work over a week ago, when she thought she'd be due to get her period soon.
Had it been over a week? Surely it hadn't been that long ago…
Rose frantically ran through the dates in her head, then pulled up her calendar app. While she and James had both agreed it was for the best, she cursed the loss of her period tracking app.
"C'mon, think," she mumbled, rubbing the heel of her hand furiously into her forehead. "Think, think, think!"
It took every last brain cell, but Rose finally remembered when she'd last gotten her period: it had ended the day before she and James were due to leave for their trip to Ireland. Which had been mid-June. Which meant her period was almost two weeks late…
"Oh, God," she whispered, her hands beginning to tremble.
She hadn't thought about babies in months. Not even when she and James adopted their new philosophy of treating a potential pregnancy like a lottery. But now? Her stomach fluttered with a spark of hope and excitement that maybe—just maybe—they'd gotten a winning ticket.
"Mum! Hurry up!"
Rose jolted out of her thoughts at Ainsley's shout.
"I'll be out in a minute," she called out.
Rose hurriedly got dressed in a pair of soft, comfy trousers and one of James's shirts, then she met the kids at the front door.
She was distracted for the duration of the drive to the daycare. Her mind whirred and buzzed, but thankfully the girls were lost in their own conversation, so she didn't need to be alert.
When the kids were deposited in their respective rooms, Rose got back into her car and drove to the nearest pharmacy. Her heart seemed to thud in her throat as she went directly to the aisle with home pregnancy tests. How many times had she bought a test only for it to come back negative?
Pushing those memories to the back of her mind, Rose selected a few different brands, paid, and drove herself home.
She chucked her keys into the bowl by the door and toed off her shoes before she made her way to the loo. Her morning tea was making its way through her system, so, with unsteady hands, she ripped open one of the long, thins boxes and pulled out the test strip.
Hurriedly finishing up in the loo, Rose set the pregnancy test face-down and started a timer on her phone.
The longer she waited, the more anxious she became, until she was almost tempted to throw away the test and not look at it.
Despite the fact that the last time she'd gotten ill at the sight of a banana was when she'd been pregnant with Sianin, perhaps she'd only gotten sick because she truly was ill. Her stomach still felt tender and unsettled, and the thought of food was abhorrent—that could be signs of illness, or the result of her nervousness.
She nearly jumped out of her skin when her phone blared at her. Surely it couldn't have been five minutes already? She debated waiting longer, just to be sure, but what if the results were time-sensitive and waiting too long skewed them? But could she do it? Could she actually flip over the test and be prepared for the result?
What if it came back negative? Could she handle the disappointment? Would it send her careening right back to that dark place she and James had crawled out of? Would it send James back there?
She wished he was there with her.
Rose let out a shaky breath. It took everything she had in her to not throw the test away and give herself another week or so to see if her period came. But, steeling herself for whatever she saw, she finally flipped the test around, and a sob lodged in her chest.
Two vertical lines. The second line was faint, but it was definitely there. Two wonderful, perfect, beautiful little lines.
She clapped her hand to her mouth as more tears streamed down her cheeks.
Pregnant. She was pregnant. She was finally, finally pregnant.
"Oh, James!" Glancing at the time, Rose realized he would be tied up in the lab for another two hours. "Dammit."
Chewing on her lip, she pulled a pen from her pocket. While he wouldn't have his phone on him, she knew he'd check his arms, even if he couldn't reply. Needing to feel close to him, Rose put the pen tip to her skin and wrote, "I love you."
Her heart felt full—overflowing, was more like it. She wanted to share this with James right now, and was irrationally annoyed that she had to wait.
I love you too xoxo. How's your morning?
"Pay attention to your lab kids," she chastised.
Oi, you wrote to me first! Besides, we're at a waiting period. Things need to reflux.
"My morning has been…" Rose struggled to find the right word. It was one of the best mornings of her life, but she didn't want to tell him the news over their arms. She wanted to touch him, feel him, and see his face when she shared the news. "Different." She paused again before she asked, "You'll be home right after lab, yeah?"
Yup. I've got nothing else scheduled. Why? Everything okay?
"Yeah, everything's fine. I just have a surprise for you."
Oooh, what is it?
"That would be telling," she teased.
Will I like my surprise?
"Definitely."
Aw, now I really wanna know! Can't you give me a little hint?
"Nope. Spoilers."
I like spoilers. Oops, reflux time is done. Gotta go! I'll see you for lunch. Want me to pick something up?
The thought of food made her stomach feel queasy, so she replied, "Nah, I'll whip something up here. Have fun refluxing."
Refluxing is done. Time to extract. Gotta go. Love you lots!
Impatient for James to get home, Rose kept herself busy by tidying the house. She started the pile of laundry she'd let go for too long, then set about washing the floors. Intermittently, she guzzled water, wanting to take another pregnancy test, just to be sure.
The urge to wee finally hit around the time James was due home, so she ducked into the loo and took three more tests. Giddiness swelled through her when they all came back positive.
Moments later, she heard the key in the front door. She skated down the hall, her socks slick against the newly-cleaned hardwood floors. James's face lit up when he saw her, and she beamed at him in return. She skipped up to him and threw her arms around his neck. He enveloped her in a hug and buried his nose into her hair.
"You seem chipper," he murmured, pulling back to look at her. She knew her daft grin was still plastered to her face, and he couldn't help but return the expression. "So. Where's my surprise?"
She grabbed his hand and tugged him towards their bedroom.
"Ooh, I'm liking where this is headed."
Rose giggled at him and gave his fingers a squeeze. "We can see about doing something like that after my surprise."
When they got to their bedroom, Rose tugged him to a stop and said, "I got sick during breakfast this morning." James frowned at her and rested the backs of his fingers against her forehead. "Sianin asked me to peel a banana for her. I hate how she likes her bananas, when they get all spotty-brown and squishy. They smell awful too. Anyway, she asked me to peel it and I got instantly queasy. Barely made it to the loo before I threw up my breakfast."
"Are you feeling all right now?" he asked, his brow pinched in concern. "You don't feel too hot. Maybe a little pale. D'you need to go to the doctor?"
"I will eventually," Rose answered, grabbing his hand and tugging it from her face. She laced their fingers together, then kissed his knuckles. Her stomach fluttered with excitement and anticipation. Watching James's face intently, she whispered, "Apparently this baby doesn't like the smell of bananas."
The furrow in his brow deepened, before understanding dawned on him. Cautious hope flitted across his face. He clenched his jaw, and his chest moved rapidly as his breathing went shallow.
"This baby?" he croaked out, looking down at her stomach. He reached out as though to touch it, but then balled his hand into a fist. "Rose?"
"We're pregnant." She beamed through the tears in her eyes. "James, we're pregnant!"
He swayed on his feet, and Rose grabbed his outstretched fist. She gave it a squeeze as she lifted it to her lips for a kiss. Then she coaxed his fingers open and brought them to her belly. His palm covered her lower abdomen, and his thumb absently stroked the fabric above it.
"We're pregnant?" he asked, frantically scanning her face, looking as though he didn't quite believe her.
"Yeah, love," she said, cradling his cheeks. "Yeah, we're pregnant. Come see. Your surprise."
Rose took his hand and massaged the back of it with her thumb when he clutched her fingers tightly. She guided him into the en suite where the four pregnancy tests she'd taken were waiting in a line.
He touched them all with trembling fingertips, then he suddenly dropped to the floor. Before she could be alarmed, he rested his forehead against her stomach. He lifted her shirt and pressed his lips across her stomach. She felt wetness that she knew wasn't from his kisses.
He let out a shuddering breath, and the dam burst for Rose, too. She dropped to her knees in front of him, and the sight of his tears made her own fall in fat rivers down her cheeks.
"C'mere," she rasped, wrapping her arms around his shoulders.
He returned the hug fiercely and let out a sound that she couldn't distinguish between a laugh and a sob. She rocked them gently, cradling the back of his head in her hand, as she pressed soft kisses to the side of his neck.
"We're pregnant," he choked out. "Rose. We made a baby. Oh, Rose! I love you. God, I love you. I love you."
He kept whispering those words into her skin, and Rose held him through it.
They stayed like that for many long moments, neither of them saying anything, because no words were needed to convey their utter joy and relief. Years of heartache and frustration were washed away by their tears as they embraced each other and rejoiced in the new life they finally succeeded in making.
FINALLY! :D I'm so happy to finally be at this moment.
I really hope you liked this chapter and would love to hear your thoughts!