James Bond in Tearjerker

by Steven Mr. Awesomeness

A retelling of the American Dad episode as if it was a real Bond movie. I guess you could say it comes after Skyfall, and sorry if the celebrities I chose to play the characters are weird, that's just what I came up with for the time being.

14. Sexpun Bond

James and Sexpun, married, are in a heart shaped bed at a hotel (Hotel's top floor).

"I'll go get the wine," says James.

Sexpun is lying alone when a thudding is heard at the door. She opens in and is knocked unconscious with a gun. James walks back into the room and sees Sexpun on the floor. The gunman walks up to him, it's Tchochkie Schmear.

"I couldn't let you get away that easily Mr. Bond," says Schmear. "I will finish what Tearjerker started."

James stands up and quickly kicks the gun out of Schmear's hand. They begin fist fighting until Schmear grabs the wine glass and breaks it. He walks up to James slowly, thrusting his arm out every few seconds. James reaches for Schmear's gun and shoots the wine glass. Schmear then runs up to him and James shoots him. He backs away towards the window. James walks up to him and kicks him out, Schmear falls to his death. After that James revives Sexpun.

"What happened," she asks.

"A minor disturbance," he replies. "So, where were we?"

The newlyweds begin kissing, before leading to- well you know, because he's Bond. James Bond.