A/N I said no updates because I'm on vacation but I'm updating anyway. I'm still on vacation, but things are happening and I just need to get away and run to the lovely, crazy world of fanfiction for a while. Hope you like this chapter!

Chapter 14

Jane's POV

Maura is the single most beautiful creature I've ever seen. Every time I think she can't get more beautiful, she somehow does. Somehow, this woman gets more beautiful with every second she breathes. I'm so lucky to call her my girlfriend. I'm so lucky to be with her, to live in this house with her, to be in her arms every night and wake up next to her every morning. I'm so lucky to love her.

I watch her cutting up Sam's food while Sam tells her something about her day in preschool, and she has that loving smile on her face. That smile that just curls the corners of her lips and makes her eyes sparkle. The smile that is reserved for people she truly loves. For me and Sam.

I remember our conversation yesterday, how she said she's not Sam's mother. I wish she were Sam's mother. I know she's not and I know we can't erase Casey as Sam's father, but I wish Sam were Maura's too. I want to be mommies with Maura. I want to have a family with Maura. She's so good to Sam. She cares about her, she loves her and she protects her. She bores her with her scientific brain-vomit, which no three-year old in the world would understand, but Sam loves it because it's Maura. She grew up with Maura, she grew up in a world where Maura was one of the very few places she truly felt safe.

There's still a sense of crippling guilt burning in my stomach. I can't get rid of it; no matter how many times Maura tells me it's not my fault. When I look back at the past few years, I don't even recognize myself. What happened to me? How did I get so lost? How did I get so caught up in wanting to please him? Wanting to hold on to something I knew wasn't worth holding on to?

Now that I'm with Maura, I finally understand what love is supposed to be. I thought love was about wanting to be together and pleasing each other in whatever way possible, but that's not true. That's not what love is. Love is feeling at home in each other's arms, protecting the other with all you have. It's knowing that the other person will catch you when you fall. A single kiss from her is enough to make my knees go weak. Love is staying awake to make sure she sleeps peacefully. Love isn't about sex or pleasing or marriage. Love is home. Maura is my home and I'm so happy to be home.

"Jane?" Maura's voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I see her looking at me with a worried look on her face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I smile at her and grab her hand, squeezing it gently, "I'm fine."

"Mommy, I'm full." Sam puts her fork down and I look at her plate to see she ate half of the food that was on her plate.

"Honey, you only had half." I sigh and know she'll make a fuss about it if I make her eat all of it.

"My tummy's full."

"Did Grandma give you cookies again?"

"No, just lemonade."

I sigh deeply and grab my own fork to divide her food into two equal portions. "Just finish one of these, okay? Then you're finished."

Sam is about to protest but one look at my face makes her rethink that. She reluctantly picks up her fork and starts eating again.

Maura smiles at me and gently grabs my hand; stroking the scar in my palm with her thumb as her other hand keeps eating. We're living in our own little romantic bubble and I love it. Every touch of her sends a sparkle through my body. Every time we kiss my love for her grows stronger. We steal kisses during dinner, during the preparation of dinner, breakfast, lunch, at work, on our way to work… We take every opportunity for a light touch, a quick kiss or a loving glance.

I know it won't be like this always. I know these are the typical first few months of a fresh relationship where you just can't keep your hands off each other, but it feels different this time. I've had these weeks with Casey, but it was nothing like it is now. Yes, he was gentle and loving at first, but he didn't treasure me like Maura does. He took me for granted. He knew I'd be there no matter what and he didn't make any effort at all. He loved me, but not like Maura. When Maura looks at me, I feel loved. I feel beautiful, treasured and safe. I didn't feel that with him. I didn't feel special like I do when I'm with Maura.

I'm too lost in thought to notice that Sam has finished her plate. Maura praises her for eating her food and asks her to put her plate in the sink, which she immediately does.

"Jane," Maura whispers, leaning closer towards me, "you're quiet. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just…" I sigh and look at her, smiling, "I'm so lucky to be with you."

Maura smiles and leans over to kiss my lips. "I thought I was the lucky one," she whispers before grabbing our plates to put them in the dishwasher.

"Mommy, can I watch TV?" Sam asks as she walks back to me.

I look at my watch and see that it's almost bedtime for her, seeing that we had a late dinner. "No honey, we gotta put you to bed. It's bedtime."

"But it's after dinner!"

"Yeah, and we had dinner real late 'cause Maura and I had to work, remember?" I pull Sam up from the floor and carry her on my hip. "You wanna give Maura a goodnight kiss?"

Sam nods and I see she's giving up on protesting. She reaches her arms towards Maura who gratefully hugs her in her arms, kissing her cheek. "Sleep well, honey."

"'Night Mommy," Sam says but shakes her head with a slight giggle, "I mean Maura."

I smile and see tears in Maura's eyes. "I'm not Mommy, sweetheart," Maura says softly, brushing Sam's hair back. "I'm just Maura."

Sam nods and moves back into my arms. I kiss Maura's lips and look into her eyes. "You'll never be just Maura," I whisper to her.

I put Sam to bed and read her a bedtime story until she falls asleep. I kiss her forehead and quietly whisper how much I love her before walking towards Maura's bedroom. Our bedroom. "Maur?"

Maura is standing in her closet, neatly hanging her dress on a hanger, standing in her underwear. She's gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. I wrap my arms around her waist from behind and kiss her neck. "Hey, beautiful," I whisper into her ear.

Maura hums and leans into my front. "I was just about to take a bath," she says in a soft, sultry voice, "would you like to join me?"

I moan and pull her closer. "Yes, very much."

She smiles and before I know it, her underwear is on the floor and she's walking into the bedroom, stark naked, swaying her hips in front of me. I take a deep breath and my clothes are on the floor within seconds.

I walk into the bathroom and I see my gorgeous girlfriend already soaking in the bathtub, bubbles covering her amazing body. "C'mere," she whispers with a loving smile, reaching out her hand for me.

"Scoot forward," I ask but Maura shakes her head.

"I'd like to feel you against me," she says with a sweet smile.

I hesitate but one look into Maura's eyes tells me that this isn't necessarily about sex. This is about intimacy, being close and feeling loved. I lower myself into the hot water and hum when my back presses against Maura's naked front.

Her arms wrap around my waist and she kisses my shoulder. I slump down to lean my temple against her cheek and close my eyes. "I love you, Maura," I whisper softly.

"I love you too, Jane." She kisses the spot behind my ear and I'm putty in her hands. "So much."

We stay silent for a while, simply enjoying the feeling of closeness. After a while, Maura continues her trail of kisses and her hands roam over my stomach. "Tell me if this isn't okay, Jane," she whispers into my ear.

I nod and swallow hard. "It's okay." It's more than okay.

Her hands move up to my breasts and cup them gently. Her touches are so soft and loving… I've never felt like this before. I've never felt this loved, this treasured. Her hands squeeze my breasts and I feel my nipples hardening under her touch. I moan, louder than I anticipated. She smiles.

My hands grab her thighs that are wrapped around me and I stroke them, squeezing lightly. "God, Maura…" I moan, her touches on my breasts driving me crazy, turning me on to no end.

She smiles into my neck and keeps kissing. "You're gorgeous, Jane," she whispers seductively. "Every part of you." She moves her hands down to the scar on my side, tracing it in the water. "Every single part of you."

Her hands move lower down my stomach and I stop her.

"I'm sorry-"

"No," I smile and turn around, "I want to look at you. I don't want to have my back to you when we do this."

She smiles and captures my lips in a deep kiss while she moves around me, straddling my lap without breaking the kiss. I moan softly and cup Maura's ass, squeezing it lightly, causing Maura to grind her hips against my lap. "Tell me if this is okay, Jane," she whispers again, looking at me with love and devotion, "please."

"It's okay," I assure her, smiling into our kiss, "I want this. I want to have sex with you."

Maura chuckles and kisses me again, cupping my left breast while she does. I stroke Maura's sides and let my hands wander to the side of her full, perfect breasts. They're even more perfect than I could ever imagine. I cup them carefully before softly pulling on her hard nipples, eliciting a loud moan.

"God, Jane," she moans into my ear, "the things you do to me."

Maura pulls back and I see her looking at me, her eyes wandering down my body, making me a little insecure. "Gorgeous," she whispers, her hands barely touching my upper body.

"Get back here," I smile and pull her back to me; our wet, naked fronts flush together.

I don't know how my body didn't respond to her the first time. I don't think I've ever been this turned on in my life. We're in a tub full of water, but I'm absolutely soaked by not just the water. My stomach is tickling, my breath comes in quick gaps and my heartbeat goes so fast I think I might explode. Every single touch makes my heart skip a beat and I'm in heaven.

We stay in the tub until the water is cold, slowly making out, touching, kissing every inch of each other's body we can reach. "C'mon," I whisper, pulling her off me to get out of the bathtub.

Maura follows me and grabs a large white towel, wrapping us both in it as she kisses my lips again. We don't break the kiss as we walk into the bedroom and I feel the back of my legs hitting the bed before Maura slowly pushes me down on it. She smiles at me, making sure I'm still okay and I smile back.

She's so careful and loving I fall in love with her all over again. She kisses every inch of my body, starting at my collarbones, moving down to my stomach, then back up to my breasts, placing soft kisses on them. Her hands slide down my stomach and I hold my breath in anticipation.

"We're going slow," she whispers, looking deeply into my eyes. "Okay?"

I swallow hard and kiss her. "Just…"

"I'll be gentle." Maura looks at me with such love and care I feel tears in my eyes.

"Maur," I whisper and she pulls back, "I had a kid. I… He…" I sigh deeply and close my eyes. "It's not pretty down there."

I can't count the many times he tore me open, made me bleed, hurt me… I need her to be gentle more than anything and one look into her eyes tells me that she will be.

"Jane," she smiles at me and kisses my lips again, "I don't care about any of that. You're beautiful, absolutely, mind-blowingly beautiful. Every little bit of you."

I swallow and nod, my insecurities slowly fading. I gently grab her hand and lead it down my stomach, silently telling her to continue. She smiles and grounds us in a deep kiss while her hand wanders lower where it makes gentle strokes, eliciting a sweet, tingling feeling I haven't felt in a long time.

"Okay?" she whispers into my mouth.

I gasp when her touch becomes stronger and wrap my arms tighter around her. "Perfect," I whisper barely above a breath.

I moan loudly as Maura's hand slips lower and circles my wet opening. She looks at me and studies my face. "Inside?" she whispers and I've never felt more loved. It's not exactly dirty talk, but knowing that she's this careful about my feelings, about making me feel good… It makes me feel loved and safe. She wants to know what I want and it's important to communicate. I'm completely bare before her and as vulnerable as I'll ever be, but I've never felt safer.

"Jane, inside?"

"No," I whisper to her, not wanting to break our kiss for too long. It's perfect like this.

She nods and goes back to kissing me, moving her hand up to my clit where she continues her gentle strokes. I moan loudly and buck my hips at Maura's skilled touch. I wrap my arms around her to keep her close, hearing Maura moan at our naked breasts touching.

It's nothing like I've ever felt before. It's nothing like any of the sex I've ever had. I don't even think about Casey and the way he used to hurt me, abuse me and use me. All that's on my mind is Maura, her hands, her touch, her love and her passion. I'm insecure but I feel that Maura is just as aroused as I am and it makes me feel better to know that I turn her on as well. She's not repulsed by me. She's not using me for her pleasure like he used to do. She's not fucking me; she's not having sex with me. She's making love to me and her love is so endless it makes me feel like I'm in heaven. It's slow, and her touches are the most gentle I've ever felt in my life.

"God, please don't stop," I whisper into her mouth, gasping for air as her strokes go faster. My arousal is building quickly and I can't even think straight anymore.

It doesn't take long for my stomach to clench, my hips to buck involuntary into her hand, my grip tightening on Maura's back. Her touch sets me on fire and I try to hold back, but I can't. She sends me flying over the edge and it's like my body explodes. Every single nerve ending is burning with pleasure, I gasp for air, clutch to the woman in my arms as I go through wave after wave of pleasure.

Maura strokes me through my orgasm and I grab her hand when I'm too sensitive for her to continue. She smiles and presses her lips against mine in a short, loving kiss. I pull her on top of me and rest my head in the crook of her neck, still panting.

"That was amazing," I whisper, breathless and still tingling all over.

Maura doesn't move from on top of me and her hand makes soft, lazy strokes on my chest. "Thank you," she whispers into my ear.

"For what?"

"For letting me see you like this. For allowing me to make you feel good." Maura pushes herself up on her elbow and smiles at me, looking at me with all the love and adoration in the world. "I love you."

My body is still tingling and my stomach flips every single time she says those words. "I love you too," I whisper, still trying to regulate my breathing. "Thank you."

Maura smiles a bright smile and presses her lips against mine. "You are more than welcome, detective," she whispers into my mouth.

We continue to kiss and I feel her arousal is as present as mine was just moments ago. I turn us around and carefully lower my body on top of hers. I smirk and look deeply into her eyes. "Your turn."