There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you, won't you be the one I'll always know?
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down
-The Fray-

Still half-asleep, Marlene tugged her pillow into the crook of her neck. She reached for her blanket, the cool brisk morning air made all the goosebumps on her skin become exposed. When she tugged, her eyebrows puckered together when she felt resistance. Marlene shifted to see what was trapping the comforter and keeping it from her. When her hand felt skin, she gasped, her eyes snapped open and she twisted around to see Sirius passed out on the other side of her bed.

It took only a moment for her to remember why he was there and only a second more for the panic to rush into her chest. She squinted against the stream of ungodly sunlight that was coming through the blinds, and she got up on her knees and pulled back the curtains for a fraction of an inch. The girls were all still sleeping. Only one bed was empty and Marlene knew that Elena, the beds owner, liked to go for early morning runs.

"Fuck," Marlene groaned, breathlessly, eyeing the half naked man, tangled in her covers.

They'd been reckless; each time they were getting closer and closer to the brink of insanity. First it was them in her house, then the train, then the empty classrooms, and broom closet, then swimming and her comforting him in the light of day. Now he was in her bed. Not the one at her father's house, the one she had often shoved him under her bed and into her closet when anyone nearly found them together, but the one where four other girls lived just a few feet away. Any of them could have pulled open her curtains or heard them the night before talking, but they didn't and she was in awe of their luck so far.

They weren't out of the woods yet. She had to get him out of there unseen and then figure out a way to act like the night before didn't happen. One would be sufficiently harder than the other, but Marlene was too tired to know which just yet. The first thing she had to take care of was getting Sirius up. He was out cold on his side and Marlene could only hope a simple shake would wake him up.

"Black," Marlene grabbed his shoulder, using her other hand to untuck him from her dark blue, Ravenclaw blankets, "Black!"

He didn't move.

"Come on!" She whined in a low voice, straddling the side of his hip and shaking him as hard as she could. "What the hell am I supposed to do?! You can't get caught here!"

Marlene bit her lip before an idea occurred to her. "Stupid oaf…always making everything as difficult as possible!"

Using all of her strength, she flipped him over, wiped the drool off his lips with the edge of the sheet and, after grimacing, pressed her lips against his. It wasn't that kissing him was unpleasant, or the idea of kissing him. It was that she had to use it to wake him up. It was that she didn't know what his reaction would be. They'd never done this. She'd never kissed him without him being conscious.

Sirius's bright grey eyes jolted open, and he gasped against her lips. Reactively, he sunk deeper into the bed, and away from her, until he saw it was her. Once he saw her face, he relaxed, his body rose and his arms wrapped around her, and he kissed her back. It was natural, and easy, and she had to grab every ounce of personal strength to drag herself off of him, but just as their breaths became heated and she felt him stiffened beneath her, she pulled back.

"No…No! You have to go!"

Sirius laughed, "You are the one that's on top of me."

"You wouldn't wake up!" Marlene insisted, rolling off of him and handing him his shirt, "Now you are awake, you have to go."

Sirius scoffed and tossed his shirt on over his head. "Why is it then whenever I won't do something you want, you kiss it out of me?"

"You have a really skewed view of life."

"It's called fact, McKinnon. Mind handing me my trousers?"

"You didn't bring any."

Sirius paused and then laughed. "Huh, I really was half-asleep."

"How are we going to get you out?" Marlene said, eyeing the curtains anxiously.

"Walk out."

She glowered at him, "Yeah. That's a brilliant plan, Sirius."

He pushed himself up, kicked off the comforter and smirked at her.

"What?"

"What are you smirking at?"

Sirius shook his head, "You."

"Well," She blushed furiously, "Stop. You have to go."

He traced a finger down the side of her face. "I know."

"Then why aren't you…" A smile involuntarily jumped to her face. "Why are you smiling at me?"

"Why are you smiling at me?" He replied, leaning forward with a mischievous look on his face.

Marlene tried to glower at him, but every time she set her face it broke into a smile. "You have to go!" She hissed, pushing him back.

"Cool it, McKinnon," He winked, and grabbed the curtain, "I've snuck out of tighter situations than this."

"What are you-?" Marlene began in horror; watching him take out his wand, turn himself invisible, and leapt of the bed.

She heard the door open and shut, and checked, not a single one of the other girls even flinched. Marlene let out a long breath and fell back against her bed. Her blond hair was scattered around her and her indigo eyes focused on the ceiling. In twenty seconds, she would have to get up. She would have to change into her Quidditch sweats, pull her hair back and report to the Quidditch field.

Ethan was going to give her his position when he got there. It was only a matter of time before he caved to his original opinion that this was her position not his and seeing him after the last game, the sweat gleaming on his face. She knew it was coming, and he would bring it up when she got to the field. Ethan would tell her that it was logical. That she was a better leader and that he'd rather she be in charge. It would add responsibility on her and that was one thing she was avoiding. Marlene had been doing everything in her power to ignore this. She had been trying to stay out of the spotlight, and not have anyone reporting to her or relying on her, but it seemed to be inevitable at this point.

But she wasn't thinking about that.

She wasn't thinking about how livid Rabastan would be at her for being Ravenclaw's captain and competing against him or how much stress that was going to add to her life. No, she thought about the night before, and what waking up with him meant.

He'd fallen asleep before, not often, but it had happened, but he never stayed. It was an unspoken agreement between them, no staying, no lingering and no attachments. And now they'd broken all the rules. There had been no sex, no foreplay, no nothing, just kisses, not snogging, kissing. And there were feelings, several feelings and there was holding and confessions.

Marlene McKinnon was a girl, a full on girl. She wore high heels, and wore make-up every day, and she wore form-fitting clothes and she occasionally wore pink. Every gender stereotype fit her, except she never got excited or worked up about guys. She was perfectly willing to play the part. To play the pretty bitch. When you give someone a face, a type, then they can put a name to you. They can define you and then they can put you in a box. When they put you in a box they can't undermine you, because then they have no idea what you are capable of. They think you are the stupid blonde, or the frail woman, but they don't have any sort of a clue what the hell is beneath.

Actually getting excited, actually feeling something and …caring, gave them something. It gave them a pressure point beyond the image. It gave her a weakness and it terrified her. He was her weakness, because she couldn't stop and she would have to soon. She didn't have the luxury of a fairytale. The night before, her guard had been down, but it was only then, while her alarm went off next to her bed, that she recognized the lie. The lie was that she had started to trust him, and open up the night before, the lie was that this time was the first time. She trusted him months earlier, when she let him into her room and she opened up to him when she told him she was terrified of heights and when she let him catch her. Marlene kept trying to convince herself that it wasn't over because she hadn't fallen, but she had fallen, she'd fallen so hard and instead of him getting bored or only sticking around to get between her legs, he was encouraging this, he was encouraging her.

He was the fire in her lungs, coarse, but burning her, making her feel the most alive she could in the time she had left. But that time was running out. She wasn't stupid, Marlene knew that there was a countdown; it was etched into the bruise on her wrist. It was just that…now that it hit her, now that she knew…it was hard to shake.

She'd been in love before. But it was such a long time before and he never loved her back. He liked her, didn't mind sleeping with her, but he never loved her back. And that was fine. It hurt, it hurt like hell, but Marlene picked herself up and she learned from it. Marlene didn't become bitter or let it stay with her, but she just let is protect her. It was her casing, reminding her that she shouldn't fall in love, that it was just another way that someone could get power over her.

And now someone had it. He didn't know it, Marlene was sure if it took her this much time to figure it out then he had no idea. But it had to stop. She had to figure out a way to make it stop. Turning, she was focusing on every little movement to ignore the visual of him smirk, smiling and laughing, but when she moved she smelled his cologne on her sheets and Marlene couldn't stop the smile on her face. Her first action should have been to wash her sheets and ignore it all, but she didn't.

Her composure was fractured, and she needed to get a grip on it. Marlene pushed off her bed and the minute she pressed her feet to the cold stone floor, she reminded herself who she was and she did everything she was supposed to.

Her posture was perfect, her clothes were straightened, her make-up and hair, flawless, but she couldn't erase the smile on her face. She tried, but it wouldn't fade and by the time she made it to the Quidditch field, she'd given up trying.

Jumping into the shower, Sirius saluted Remus and James on the way into the bathroom. Most people had a natural facial expression set on their face. Sirius had noticed this when he studied his friends while they studied one afternoon; Peter looked perplexed with a twinge of fear, James looked subtly curious, Remus looked intrigued, Lily looked excited and Mary looked bewildered. The thing was, Sirius wasn't the most self-aware person on the planet it, but he knew what his reset expression looked like. In any and all situations, he wore a smirk and exuded pure arrogance. Unless he was in distress, which he was rarely genuinely in, he looked like where ever he was, was exactly where he wanted to be. Even the one time a bunch of Slytherin's caught him in the common, shagging the HeadGirl on the floor…he just looked up, stark naked and shrugged, a smirk, high and bright on his face.

But he wasn't big on smiling. Sure it happened on occasion, he wasn't soulless, but it wasn't that likely to happen. A grin fit him more, but even that didn't happen appear too often. The minute he arrived at the Gryffindor portrait hole, in just a shirt and his boxers he gained a few looks, but he strutted in like he was wearing million galleon dress robes. That wasn't new, but the smile, the golden, unmistakable look of happiness that was plastered all over his face sure as hell was.

There was no point in fight it, he was beaming for a reason he couldn't explain or understand. He attributed it to a good nights sleep, but that excuse fell flat even in his mind. Marlene, her beautiful face, was stuck in his mind and for the life of him he couldn't think of anything else. Not that he really tried that hard to. If he had to have a face stuck in his mind, hers wasn't the worst option in the world. Washing his hair, he sighed and thought how nice it would have been if they could have gone farther, but also how astonishing it was how low his disappointment was. It didn't bother him or even faze him that in a strictly sexual relationship, he didn't actually have or initiate, any sort of sexual activity.

It was odd. Sure they had gone several occasions with just snogging, but he couldn't really consider anything that happened the night before snogging. It was…kissing, he supposed. The events of the night before weren't really his area. They were more Remus or James's playhouse and he had somehow stumbled into it and maneuvered through it without completely fucking it up. The way she looked at him though…it…made, he wasn't sure, but it almost felt like he every time she looked at him he pulled a muscle in his chest, but not in a bad way.

Stepping out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist and watched James and Peter shoot looks at him.

"Yes?"

"Why are you smiling?" Peter asked first in confusion. "You won't stop."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "What it is a crime now, Pete?"

"Where have you been?" James said, pressing the palms of his hands together. "You didn't come back last night."

"Nowhere, why?" Sirius said.

"You're lying." James said flatly, "Something's going on and we're not stupid."

Sirius said, "I never said that you were."

"Well then why won't you tell us?" Peter questioned. "You used to tell us everything."

"Because, it's not…" The lie caught in his throat, and Sirius sighed, "It's not a big deal."

James shook his head. "Whatever, mate. I don't get why you won't tell us, but I guess I can't be too mad…It's nothing illegal right?"

"I don't think so." Sirius mocked.

"You never know with you…Besides what else would get you to be this happy?"

Sirius laughed, "I love how highly you think of me."

"Years of experience, mate." James said as he and Peter walked out the door.

Sirius didn't ask them where they were going. He had Quidditch practice with James in a few hours, and he had plans with Peter to formerly challenge Remus to a game of gobblestones, in a show down for who the final champion would be. It wasn't a packed day, but he figured by the end of it, he'd be sitting around somewhere with the other three discussing plans for the next full moon. It would be a simple day, and all the while he would be thinking of her. It was a certainty that he wasn't sure what to do with or how to place, but he didn't mind it so much anymore.

Marlene was about to head back to her dorm, it was nearly curfew. She'd spent the better part of the past hour trying to tutor Dirk in Transfiguration and had discovered what she discovered every year, that it wasn't his intelligence that was the problem but his complete and entire lack of discipline. He used any and every excuse he could concoct to not look at his textbook or answer her question and her patience had lost its steam after the first 45 minutes. Dirk didn't seem to care; he walked next to her with a sigh.

"I just can't, Mar. My brain refuses to learn."

"How the hell are you a Ravenclaw?" She asked with an exasperated expression. "You honestly care less about studying than I do."

Dirk snorted, "You should talk, you were a born and bred Slytherin. You may not turn in papers on occasion or participate in class. But I know you; everything has a calculated next step and objective. How does that fit in with Ravenclaw?"

"I follow the rules, I'm creative, my mind is always working and you even you can't deny I have a quick wit."

"I agree with everything but the rules portion." Dirk said, his lips pursing, "You will bend them if it's important and just because you know them doesn't mean you follow them."

Marlene shook her head, "You always see the worst of me."

"You used to see the worst in everyone."

"I'm not ambitious enough for Slytherin…I value intelligence over ambition." Marlene said, "Did you know that we take a vote on who gets on the team? And that you, a member of Ravenclaw could attend tryouts and give your input on the players you think are best?...We've always done it that way so we can gain knowledge from everyone else's perspective."

"Your point?"

"I value intelligence and wit over ambition and cunning. Your house is what you value at age 11, not what you are, otherwise you would be a Gryffindor."

Dirk pushed her shoulder, "Jerk."

"Prat."

Marlene shrugged, "Things change…Is that…?" She pointed to a woman in the distance and shouted, "LIV!"

Her sister was leaving the Muggle Studies classroom, her eyes wide and her cheeks flushed. Marlene smiled and rushed over to her sister, "You have left the Hospital Wing! Color me shocked."

"Uh, hi. Yeah…"

"What are you doing up here anyway?"

Her sister looked away evasively. "I…uh, I promised that I would have tea with the new Muggle Studies Professor…Want to be polite…"

"That's good! I'm glad to see you left your cave!" Marlene said supportively, "The color of sunlight looks good on you."

"Thanks. I have to um…get back. I'll see you later." Olivia said, letting go of Marlene. "Be good alright?"

Marlene rolled her eyes and spun on her heel to head the opposite direction when a familiar looking Barn Owl, clutching a howler in it's beak, flew down the hall, past Marlene and dirk, diving and dropping it into Olivia's hands. Turning, Marlene's eyebrows furrowed and she began to walk back over towards her sister.

"Who-?"

"OLIVIA, GET BACK TO THE HOSPITAL WING! WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY!"

The smile fell off Marlene's face and she took off running, after her sister.

Dirk struggled to catch up. He breathed hard, his arms pumping madly at his sides. "Whose... voice was that?"

"You hear it everyday in Defense," Marlene replied, racing down the stairs, "It was my brothers."

Sirius punched the wall, he punched it so many times that it bled and broke, but he didn't stop until he saw his bloody knuckle print on the wall. The jolts of pain, shooting up his hand didn't affect him as much as it should have. He needed to find them. He needed to kill them…and…and…make them pay.

Mary McDonald left her Quidditch gloves on the field, she went back to get them before curfew. It was only going to take her ten seconds to find them and then she would head right back to the dorms. She was an excellent dueler, and had gone back to the field to retrieve lost Quidditch gear alone countless times. But this time, a few Slytherin's had seen her go, and this time she didn't get back without a scratch on her.

They beat the life out of her and if Professor McKinnon hadn't gotten there, if he hadn't been looking out his window and seen them approach her…

Sirius already went in and saw her. Alice had gotten an Owl and grabbed him and Lily. Lily and Dirk were sitting with her. She was unconscious, the school nurse had given her something, because when she was awake she wouldn't stop screaming or crying. Before she blacked out, she told Sirius who it was and Sirius had been out in the corridor, pacing and his vision went dark. Mulcibier, Nott and Avery had been waiting for an opportunity to take their mudblood frustrations out on someone, and Mary just happened to walk by. It didn't help that she was friends with the biggest blood traitors in school or that she was better than all of them in school. At the end of the day, she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, but it was personal to Sirius.

Mary never had done anything to anyone and even if she had, there was not a single excuse in the world for what those malicious, evil, bastards did. They were going to burn in hell for it, and if they weren't taken away, if Marlene's brother hadn't forcefully escorted the three of them away…He would be in Azkaban. Yeah, they hadn't done anything sexual to her, but that didn't add any relief. She'd been terrified, not knowing what they were capable of, all because of something she couldn't control. Something she'd never be able to control. Something someone would always use as an excuse to put her down and treat her like she was less than them, less than human. It made him sick. It made his blood boil and he was so distraught, he didn't even hear Marlene walk up behind him.

"Black," Marlene uttered from several feet behind him, "….Black?"

Sirius leaned against the wall, his blood all over the wall. "They could have killed her." He said hoarsely.

"Black-"

"They fucking grabbed her." He stated, "I bet she was scared. So scared. But, you know what? I bet she clawed her way out, before they started to hit her. I bet they taunted her before they even approached her."

"Black," Marlene tried again as his breathing grew heavier.

"I bet they planned it in advance," He muttered, leaving the wall, his eyes strained and focused on something Marlene couldn't see. "I bet they planned it and when they got there thought they'd have a bit of fun-"

"SIRIUS!" Marlene screamed, the name scorching her throat. Inaudible tears streamed down her cheeks, and she said, "Stop it. Don't talk like that. Don't talk about her like that. She's not dead, my sister said she would recover fine. She-will-get-back-up."

His cheeks were clenched, his lips trembling and he blinked far too often. Shoulders hunched, Sirius's eyes lifted and they were full of hatred, anger, rage, but mostly, tears. Tears for the friend that he couldn't protect or save. His grey eyes were so open, they were blindingly transparent and the look of his eyes forced worn tears to burn down her face. Marlene's chin quivered, and she stepped closer to him.

"Come here," She said quietly.

Sirius's head shook; his eyes crinkled shut and his entire face became impossibly narrow. He stumbled forward blindly and his hands stretched out until they caught hold of her. His fingers gripped the fabric of her sweater and he tugged at it, his entire body buckled from his shoulders to his waist, all the way down to his ankles.

He didn't need words. He didn't need them or want them.

For the first time, he fell and it wasn't James that caught him. It wasn't Remus, Peter, Lily or any of the dozens of people it could have been. It was her. He clung to her, his head scraping the side of her face clumsily before dropping to her shoulder. She wasn't wearing heels so she was nearly a foot shorter than him, his body lost all height and sank down on her, and the difference disappeared.

Marlene's body tilted forward to support Sirius's weight, her hands slipped under his arms, her hands held him so tight, they molded to the bones in his back. She'd seen him upset when his mum had died. He looked like he lost a part of himself that day, and it was the last bit of what was pure about him. This wasn't the same. Sirius wanted to rip something a part, but more than anything he was tortured by the image of what Mary had looked like. He saw her face everywhere, but the minute he felt Marlene, it left him.

His body was caving in on her, every bone, every muscle, curved around her and he disappeared into her shoulder. He would pull himself together because he had to help Mary pull herself together, but for what seemed like eternity he faded into Marlene.

Much like a dozen other times, they weren't being too careful. They were just past the hospital wing and all anyone would have to do to see them would be walk down the corridor. Anyone could have walked by and seen them, but for the first time they… forgot. They forgot who they were, what they were supposed to be to one another and what the consequences would be if anyone saw them. They were lost in the situation, too lost to remember themselves. Not even for a second, did they hesitate or did either of them remember that they weren't supposed to be like this.

They just were.

But this time, unlike all the rest, someone did happen to turn the corner and see them. And it wasn't any of Marlene's friends or any of Sirius's either. The man stood, down the way and stood perfectly still.

It was Rabastan Lestrange. His pale green eyes locked on the sight in front of him. He saw them together, he knew.