Anko was bored. She had come ahead of the kiddies, which meant she had time to chat up Snape. She had shocked the hell out of the staff with the kiss she gave the man in front of the students.
It was so funny to see the looks on their faces! Even more so was the surprised look on Snape. Not that he was complaining about it mind you.
When Moody walked in, she grinned. She loved his style. Stopping that lightning was pure genius.
Since Shino and the others were of age back home, they were all qualified to enter the tournament that was coming up. They were the only ones under seventeen though.
Chances were good that they would be selected under the name of the new Academy that was going to be opened up later this year. If not, then it wouldn't matter.
They were only here to find good teachers for Konoha.
Once the outcry over the tournament was gone, the students went to bed.
Only to awaken the next morning with news that the Weasly twins, the undisputed prank kings of the school...had been thoroughly hit with pranks.
Somehow, someway, their beds collapse on them in the middle of the night and they ended up sleeping in wet sheets. Sheets that smelled suspiciously of ammonia.
Luckily it happened around five, so they weren't too badly off for it.
When the teachers investigated the occurrence, they found signs of termites. Big ones.
Where the bugs came from in a school made entirely of stone was a mystery. Plus termites normally couldn't survive in such cold weather.
Before Shino went to class, he passed by Snape who slipped three silver coins in his hand. He had paid Shino to prank the twins after six hellish years of dealing with them.
Shino wasn't above bribery, particularly in the case of a harmless prank.
It was Naruto who had gotten the twins to wet their beds. He had borrowed one of Shino's lightning bugs to give them a jolt. Shino wasn't surprised that the bugs listened to such a simple command.
As much time as he spent around Naruto, the bugs had learned he was friend. A few times Naruto even helped prank anyone who harmed one of Shino's hive. They were so used to his chakra signature that he could use one or two to prank people.
It wasn't much, but it was meant he was closer to the Aburame clan than most outsiders were.
Shino's first class was potions.
Something told him it would end very, very badly. Not only was the room colder than the outside, but the fumes alone would give him headaches.
It didn't help that Shino was barely passable at some forms of cooking.
It was a little known fact that insect hives tended to react badly to steam or fumes of any kind. Most of the cooking was done by the people who married into the clan, because they didn't have any insect hives in them. The Aburame clan married outside of it's own rather frequently, but none of the others had picked up on it.
Funny enough, none of the other clans had picked up how big the Aburame clan actually was. Shino had found it fascinating that the Aburame outnumbered the Hyuga (and previously the Uchiha as well) by a good two to one.
They were just spread out. A good third of the active members lived outside the village, mostly at the outposts gathering new insects to add to the family hives.
It was how they had gotten their hands on the Japanese Wasps.
Shino entered the dungeon, completely unafraid of the teacher. He had heard rumors of Snape from the Gryffindors. Snape was biased against them because of hazing he suffered during his school years.
After meeting Shino, Snape had dropped his anger towards the son of Potter, and instead viewed him as the son of Lily.
Snape nodded towards the front. He wanted an eye on the shinobi just in case. He wasn't an idiot, and he knew full well that most shinobi weren't used to brewing anything more complicated than poisons. And the only people who did more than that were Hinata and Haku, who were training to be medics.
But they had already admitted that they hadn't moved to antidotes yet.
Shino was not looking forward to this at all.
BOOM!
Shino had realized what was going to happen seconds before it did, and thanks to his reaction time (which was far above a civilian's) he was under the table long before the potion hit him.
His partner, however, was not as lucky. (Naruto had been far at the back, and wasn't hit by the potion at all.)
Ronald Weasly was hit full on by the potion, and was very lucky that Snape had the antidote.
Shino had avoided the brunt of the spill, but he was still getting dirty looks from the others.
"Mr. Aburame, see me after class."
"Yes sir."
"Care to explain what happened?"
"My insect hive...tends to react badly to fumes and cold sir. It's something everyone with a hive has. The larger the hive, the stronger the reaction. I think my wasps jolted my hand at the wrong time and caused the explosion."
Snape pinched the bridge of his nose. This was worse than Longbottom, who only blew up one potion a week.
"Can you at least follow the instructions?"
"It's not the instructions that are the problem. It's the fumes and the temperature. What do you have in mind?"
"I have a problem case in the class, Neville Longbottom. He blows up a potion a week, but his partners rarely catch the mistake in time."
"And you want me to catch him before he makes the mistake."
"In exchange you don't have to brew any potions, but I still expect the essays."
"Fair enough. As long as my hive isn't exposed to the fumes from the cauldron, I can do prep work and tell him when to add it and how."
"We'll see how this works out. You're dismissed."
"How bad was it?"
"I explained the problem, and he's made an arrangement. If I keep Neville from blowing up his potions once a week, he won't give me detention. I still have to do the essays."
Ron stared at him in disbelief.
"How the bloody hell did you avoid detention? Snape always gives Gryffindors a detention and docks points if a potion blows up!"
"I explained in a clear and concise manner, and I gave him the proper respect without being told. People like Snape-sensei are usually bitter because people disrespect them unconsciously."
Ron still didn't get it, but Hermione did.
"Oh... Gryffindors always talk about him behind his back, and they never treat him like a teacher. I'm one of the few who ever gets anything higher than an Acceptable."
"Do you usually show him proper respect, even when his actions don't warrant it?"
"He's a teacher."
"And that is why he gives you the respect back. Snape knows that respect isn't given, its earned."
Hermione beamed at him. Shino knew exactly what he was talking about.
"Of course if nothing else I can throw you to Anko-sensei or Haku as a pincushion," said Shino dryly.
"Why?" asked Ron.
"Anko-sensei is like Snape-sensei. Only she's much, much worse."
"Who can be worse than Snape?" said Ron in disbelief.
Shino stopped cold, and looked at him in amusement.
"Anko's favorite method of dealing with idiots is dropping them in a forest that is full of gigantic snakes, massive tigers, and bugs the size of the greenhouses. All of them big enough to make humans snacks. And that's just for fun."
"What about those who get her mad?"
"She has a game called 'how many times can I make you bleed with my pet snakes'. The only problem is that she sometimes forgets that her snakes are poisonous."
Ron stared at him in disbelief.
"How do you know this, Shino-san?" asked Hermione.
"You know the honorific at this point is 'kun', right?"
"Respect is given not earned?" she reminded him.
"...Point. Anyway I know this because I happen to be one of the few people who can stand to be around her for long periods of time without running for my life. I happen to share the same love of snakes she does, so that helps a lot."
"Snakes...ugh."
"Hey, I don't complain about your personal hygiene issues gaki."
Hermione looked at Shino with interest.
"'Personal Hygiene Issues?'"
"He hasn't showered, brushed his teeth or even his hair. And there was the way he ate his breakfast this morning."
"HEY!"
"Ron, if you don't believe me ask Naruto. He has a very, very good sense of smell."
Naruto, who happened to be passing at the moment, caught wind of Ron and tried not to gag.
"See?"
"Herbology is next," said Hermione, changing the subject.
After four years, she had actually overlooked Ron's morning hygiene issues. More out of embarrassment than anything else.
Shino was looking forward to this class. He loved the outdoors, and it meant he could debate with Neville over which insects were best for plants.
Neville was a plant prodigy, which meant he would get along fine with Shino.
Shino got to work with little prompting. Shino often helped Naruto growing plants in the spare apartment.
Naruto was right beside Neville, debating compost types. The fact the exchange student was beside him and loved gardening as much as he did cheered him up after the potions lesson.
They earned looks of approval from Professor Sprout, and to Shino's surprise were slated for extra work that the teacher normally gave to her 'Puffs.
Neville was one of her special students, making up for his lack of potions grade with Professor Sprout. His grandmother had been rather pleased when she heard about his knack for plants.
Naruto actually loved plants, and it was thanks to Shino that they never fell prey to insects that could devour them.
"What class is next?" asked Naruto.
"I have Ancient Runes. What did you take?"
"Divination."
Neville winced.
"Professor Trelawny might predict your death."
Naruto puffed up his chest.
"Comes with the job description."
"Neville, were the rumors true about the incense, by any chance?"
"It reeks in her class, yeah. Why?"
"Naruto, we need to pay a visit to Hinata. The last thing you need is to be knocked out by overpowering scents."
"Like I wasn't almost knocked out by Ron this morning?" commented Naruto amused.
Luckily, Hinata had the same class as Naruto, so she was able to block their noses.
Shino's observation skills ended up saving Naruto from being carried to the Hospital wing...where Haku was chatting up the nurse for an entire period.
Since Haku was interested in the medical field, she had asked for lessons in healing with the nurse. Madam Pomphrey was all too happy to oblige, once she saw the girl's skill with what she thought was Chinese holistic medicine.
She actually believed the senbon were strictly for acupuncture. The girl wasn't about to break her pretty illusion.
Ron was not a happy camper. The exchange kids were all people would talk about, and Dumbledore had hinted heavily that one of them was Harry Potter, the boy-who-lived.
Ron was very, very determined to befriend the boy if only to leech off his fame. The only issue was that the new kids wanted nothing to do with him. They always seemed to know whenever he was within fifty feet of them. It was maddening! Plus the sunglasses kid was really creepy, even if he shared Ron's fear of spiders.
He had seen the look the kid had given the ones in potions before he blew up the cauldron. The glare was pretty obvious, even if he couldn't actually see it at the time.
"Do you need something Ron-san?" asked Shino.
"Is it alright if I borrow your homework?"
Shino gave him a look.
"Ron-san, unless you can read Kanji or katakana, my homework would be of absolutely no use to you. Same for Naruto."
"But you speak perfect English!"
"I learned English when I was five out of boredom. The others, aside from Naruto, are relying on a translation charm until they can speak it without one."
Ron tried a different tactic.
"Can you help me steal Hermione's then? I promise I won't tell anyone you're afraid of spiders."
"...Afraid of spiders. Where in the nine hells did you get that idea?" Shino asked in disbelief.
"The glare you gave that spider we had to chop up was pretty obvious."
"Ron-san, I am not afraid of spiders. I just don't like them. I have a similar distaste towards bats and frogs, but that doesn't mean I'm afraid of the things."
"Prove it then. Go into the Acromantula nest in the forest and bring back something from their nest."
"And what exactly makes you think I would waste my time doing that?"
Ron sneered. He didn't like Aburame, who had the prettiest girl in the school for a girlfriend and was on Snape's good side. Plus he was a borderline snake in the waiting.
"Do it or I'll put you on the twin's prank list."
Shino raised an eyebrow, which went over his sunglasses. Something told him that if he didn't give into the dare, then Ron might become a real pain in the ass later. He might even resort to stealing.
"Fine, but you will owe me a hundred galleons if I succeed."
"Deal!"
"I want that in writing gaki."
Ron paled, but agreed anyway. Shino handed him a piece of paper and Ron's magical signature was put on it without the boy noticing. There was no way in hell Ron was getting out of this.
Once informed of the bet, Anko insisted on giving Shino a pass into the forest under the guise of getting ingredients for Snape. He wasn't going to get into any trouble because of some stupid civilian.
Shino had already amused her by giving her the wizard's equivalent of a mission request, one that Ron would have to pay for if Shino succeeded in his task. Ron never specified what Shino would have to retrieve...so he was going to have some fun with it.
Shino walked past the centaurs, giving them a nod of respect. They were surprised, but didn't ask what he was doing in the forest during a full moon.
Shino did pause to ask where the nest was, and a centaur named Bane gave him directions.
He continued on his way...and found the largest spiders he had ever seen in his life.
He looked for the third largest one he could find, and paralyzed with a genjutsu. Then he put it in a sealing scroll and walked out...after convincing the massive spiders he wasn't worth eating.
Aragog was not happy to hear that a good half of his colony was taken out by a single fourteen year old kid with insects.
Ron was waiting with Moody and Anko when Shino returned. The two teachers were there to witness the bet's completion and to keep Ron from living up to the family name.
He wasn't going to weasel out of this one.
Shino took out the scroll, laid it out flat, and unsealed it. The spider came out rather pissed, and looking to kill something.
Ron screamed like a little girl and fainted dead on the floor.
Hearing the scream, McGonagall (who had to do rounds in that particular corridor) came in concerned. She saw the spider, her lion and Shino and then looked at the two defense professors.
Shino was quick to take out the spider, and he did it with relish. He hated the things.
"What in blazes is going on here?"
"Weasly here challenged the gaki to retrieve something from the Forest...and freaked out when Shino came back and proved he had done it," said Anko, cleaning her fingernails with a kunai.
Shino handed McGonagall the contract, and her mouth thinned. It was very binding and it had Ron's signature. There was nothing she could do about it.
She looked at Shino.
"You might want to warn your friends to cover their ears in the morning. Molly is sure to send a Howler once she hears of this."
"Howler?"
"A letter that screams at you in the voice of the sender," McGonagall clarified.
"Ah...Are there any objections to us eating in the kitchens?"
"No."
"I will see you at lunch then."