A/N: Thank you to all who are still reading the story! I hope you continue to enjoy it. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, I appreciate them. Here is the update!! There should be another update tomorrow, I am trying to make up for lost time. Enough of me talking, Enjoy!!
Spencer woke up the next morning in Ashley's arms. She did not want to move, she wanted to soak up this moment forever. She looked up at Ashley and smiled. She pushed a loose strand of hair out of her face and she held onto Ashley tight. She never wanted to let go. Spencer wished time would stand still in this moment forever.
Ashley's phone started vibrating and it quickly awoke her. "What's that? Oh my phone." Ashley shifted her weight and sat up. Before Ashley answered her phone she gave Spencer a gentle peck on her forehead, "Morning." Spencer laid next to Ashley pouting that the perfect moment was over.
"Dad? I'm at Spencer's...oh my god. What? When did this happen? I'll be there, I'm coming." Ashley started crying.
"What's wrong Ashley?" Spencer immediately sat up and hugged Ashley.
"It's Kyle...he...he died this morning at the hospital." Ashley wept in Spencer's arms.
"I'll drive you there...let me grab my keys." Spencer got up and grabbed her keys and purse. She put out her hand, "Come on, I'll take you."
Ashley tried to force a half-smile to show how much she appreciated it, but she couldn't. She loved how Spencer was there for her and helping her through this, but she also remembered how it was her brother that did this to hers. "Thanks, I could use a ride there."
Spencer led the way out to her car and opened the door for Ashley. Spencer promised herself she was going to be there for Ashley no matter what.
Spencer wasn't sure what to say while they were driving to the hospital. She wanted to tell Ashley everything was going to be okay, but she didn't know that. Spencer wanted to come into the hospital with Ashley; after all she did spend the last month or so with Kyle. She wanted to come into the hospital but she wasn't sure if Ashley wanted her there.
"I can't believe he's gone. You know, he wasn't always an ass...wait that's a lie he was. But he was my brother; I can't believe he is gone." Ashley cried in the passenger seat of the car.
"It's going to be okay. You'll get through it, you have me." Spencer kept her eyes on the road.
Ashley reached over and clutched onto Spencer's hand. Just holding Spencer's hand instantly made Ashley feel a bit better. Spencer smiled and held onto Ashley's hand. They arrived at the hospital and Ashley opened the car door. Spencer shut of the car and was about to open her door when Ashley spoke. "Spencer, I want to go in alone. I uh--just think you shouldn't be there. My dad is in there waiting for me. I'll get a ride home with him. Thanks for taking me." Ashley had one leg out the door.
Spencer was confused, "Are you sure? I don't mind at all, I want to be here for you Ash."
Ashley stepped out of the car fully and was about the shut the door, "You've done enough. I'll come over later." Ashley slammed the car door and walked in the hospital.
Spencer sat in the car; she wasn't sure what she wanted to do yet. Should I go in anyways? To show her that I cannot be easily pushed away? Or does she really not want me in there? Is she still blaming me for Kyle? I feel like Kyle's death is partly my fault and will Ashley always look at me like that? I can't take that. I am going to sit outside the hospital until she comes out.
Spencer decided to park the car and wait until she saw Ashley come out of the hospital. The least she could do was give her a ride home. Spencer parked her car and looked at her cell phone, hoping that Ashley would call and change her mind. She couldn't understand why Ashley didn't want her there. I need to stop reading into this. But what if she hates me for this for the rest of her life? And then we can't have a relationship...that would kill me. Knowing that me and Ashley would never have a fair chance...because of all this.
Spencer's phone vibrated in her pocket and she answered it. "Hello?"
"Spencer? Get your ass home right away." Paula said firmly.
"Mom? Why are you home?"
"I--I left work early today. Come home."
"What's wrong?" Spencer started to get worried.
"I can't explain over the phone, just get home." Click.
Spencer threw her phone in the passenger seat and drove away from the hospital to her house. Spencer didn't know what to think. She probably thought her mom was going to tell her Kyle died. Her mom tends to over exaggerate any problem she has...so Spencer didn't really speed home. She figured her mom was probably going to yell at her about something. Spencer arrived in the driveway and parked her car. She sat in her car for a while stalling time before she had to speak with her mother.
She finally got enough effort and made her way into the house. She looked in the living room and no mother was in sight. "Mom?" Spencer yelled.
"I'm upstairs!!" Paula shouted from the top of the stairs.
Is she in my room? Sounded like her voice was coming from there. Spencer started walking up the steps, "Where upstairs?"
"In Glen's room!!" Paula shouted.
Why is she in there? This is just odd. Spencer slowly walked into Glen's room, "Mom? What's going on, why are you in Glen's room?"
"Come here; sit down on the bed with me. I have to tell you something."
Oh gosh, she is getting all motherly on me. "Yeah mom? Spit it out."
"Glen left this letter. Here." Paula handed the letter to Spencer.
Spencer read the letter, I couldn't take this. It's too much. I need to leave for awhile clear my head. I'll be back in a couple of weeks. Sorry Spencer I know how much you need me right now, I...I'll be back I promise. Spencer be strong. Love Glen.
Spencer couldn't believe it, Glen bailed. He has always been stronger than me. I can't believe he left...especially when I need him the most. Damnit. What am I going to do?
"Have you tried calling him mom?" Spencer let a tear fall from her face. She still couldn't get over the fact her brother just bailed.
"Yes, a thousand times. It goes straight to voicemail, I have left a couple. But he hasn't returned any of my calls. I don't know where he is staying or where he is going. But he said a couple of weeks so we don't have much to worry about." Paula paced around the room.
"It's going to be okay, Mom. Glen will come back, it's not like him to leave and never come back. Mom...Kyle died in the hospital this morning." Spencer looked up at her mom.
Paula needed to act surprised, "Oh my gosh honey. How are you holding up? How are you? Ashley?" Paula sat by Spencer and rubbed her back.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Ashley didn't want me visiting Kyle with her, so I'm just going to pay my respects at the funeral. I'm fine though. I'm going to go to my room...if you don't mind. I am not in the talking mood." Spencer got up and walked towards her room.
"Well, if you want to talk honey. I'm going back to the hospital; I have a surgery to prep for...I'll be home late. And you father is at the office and he said he's going to be there all night. I told him to not work so much with his heart---" Spencer droned out whatever else Paula had to say, she really couldn't bring herself to care.
She walked into her room and plopped on her bed. She sighed and realized that she left her cell phone in the car. She walked back out and grabbed it and went back to her bed.
There was a new voicemail. "Hey, Spencer its Glen. You probably know I am gone by now...and if you don't well now you know. I'm going to turn my phone off so the 'rents can't bother me...but leave a voicemail and I will return your call as soon as I listen to it. I'm sorry I bailed Spencer, but I couldn't take it anymore. After I heard Kyle died...I just need some space alone and to clear my head. So call me when you need me Spencer. Be strong, Ashley is going to need you. I love ya sis." Click.
Spencer laid in her bed after she listened to her voicemail. She smiled at the fact that Glen called her and she knew she could call him anytime. So it made her feel safe that she can call him when she needs him. She doesn't know what was getting too much for Glen, but she understood that he needed space. He probably thinks that Kyle's death is his entire fault and he is feeling extremely guilty. I want to tell him that he stood up for me and protected me, I hope he knows that.
Spencer stared out the window from her bed and noticed headlights pulling into Ashley's driveway. She ran to the window and looked out. She saw Ashley walking into the house with another girl. What the hell? I thought she broke up with her...I shouldn't start anything Ashley had a rough day...oh but I can't help it.
Spencer marched downstairs and across the street. She walked up to Ashley and the other girl. "Oh it's you again." The other girl put her hands on her hips.
Spencer looked at the girl, "I don't even want to deal with you right now, but Ashley what is this?"
"I'm sorry Spencer; I needed someone to talk to." Ashley stared at the ground as she spoke.
"...And you can't talk to me? I'm right here; I am here for you Ashley. Can we talk about this away from her?" Spencer grabbed Ashley's arm and dragged her to the end of the driveway.
"I'm sorry Spencer; she is just here to talk to. I'm broken up with her...I just needed to talk to someone. I feel confused and sad and upset about how my brother just fucking died. Can we talk tomorrow?" Ashley stood there staring at the ground.
"I'm sorry about your brother I truly am Ashley. But why can't you talk to me? I want to be here for you. I need you to let me be." Spencer held Ashley's hands.
"I don't know. I look at you Spencer and it makes me so happy I want to smile and just kiss those beautiful lips of yours. But I look at you and I see your brother...and how he caused my brother's death. I just can't handle that right now. It's bad enough that he is gone, but knowing that you're brother did this, makes it hard." Ashley started to cry again.
"Shh. Ash don't cry. I know, I know. I'm sorry you have to think about that. I love you and we can get through this, get past it. Right?" Spencer lifted up Ashley's chin and wiped away her tears.
"I need time to think about all this. I love you Spencer, I know that. It's hard not to look at you and think that your brother did this to mine. I'm sorry, just...come over tomorrow okay? Please let me talk to Jem tonight." Ashley gave Spencer a peck on the cheek and started to walk away.
"I'll be over tomorrow Ashley. I promise, I'm going to be here for you." Spencer shouted to Ashley's back as she was walking away.
Spencer walked home with her head down.
Glen's gone. Ashley is shutting me out. Glen is the reason Ashley can't look at me. Ashley is the reason Glen has left. What am I doing to everyone around me? I don't know how long I can take this. I am hurting everyone around me...and it's all my fault. If it weren't for me...I wouldn't have met Ashley and her brother would still alive. Maybe it would have been better if I had never met her. I feel as if I am ruining everyone's lives around me. All I ever wanted was to be with Ashley, why does it have to be this hard?