Chapter Thirteen: The Deranged Chairman

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Raw was live from Tampa Florida and as soon as the opening finished John Cena's theme music hit and the Number One Contender for the WWE title made his way down to the ring. Cena came down to the ring and paused to listen to the cheers from the fans. "This is what it's all about," said Cena. He went from pointing out the fat guy telling him that he sucks to the hot chick with the shirt that was two sizes too small to Wade Boggs sitting in the front row.

Action, intensity, noise Cena says that he loves that about WWE and that it seems just a little bit louder tonight. He explained that hearing the fans cheering right now made getting his ass kicked for the last six weeks all worth while and he finally got to tell the Punjabi Frankenstein "F-U!"

Cena then calmed down and said that after all that, now the draft has been sprung on him and that he remembered how he was drafted from Smackdown to Raw the last time there was a draft. Cena realized that next week might be his last night on Raw. But suddenly Riot Time hit and the WWE Champion Machetti headed down to the ring, wearing his shirt and hat from last night and the WWE Championship over his shoulder.

"Cena," said Machetti, "next week, we could both be gone. So we need to live for the moment. That's why you and I are facing off for the title tonight. I know you're tired and know you're sore. I'd be surprised if you weren't after fighting in a match against the Great Khali. But I'll tell you one thing, I KNOW that you're going to give everything you have left tonight, and you and I are both gonna make sure that if we're going out next week, then we're going out with a bang!"

"That's right," said Cena, "I'll beat you, and I'll win that title, that way, before the show goes off the air tonight I can say, THE CHAMP IS…"

Cena was suddenly cut off when the WWE Chairman Vince McMahon's music hit. The former ECW World Champion made his way down to the ring with a somber look on his face, there was not strut like he usually did, he was creepy. McMahon got in the ring and stood in front of Machetti and Cena, "I know why you're here," he said, "you're here to embarrass me! You're he to remind the fans that I am no longer ECW World Champion. But I will not bend, I will not bow, I will not break. Because I'm Vincent Kennedy…"

Vince cut off when Cena and Machetti turned their backs to him. Cena turned around and glared at Vince, "You may be tired after last night, and you may be a little upset after losing last night. You may be a little delusional and emotional…"

"A little?" interrupted Machetti, "it looks like he's gone crazy. I think he was trying to pick a fight with you."

Cena glared at Machetti then turned back to Mr. McMahon, "the only thing keeping you alive right now is my patience."

"I haven't lost everything," Vince eventually said after a tense stare down, "I haven't lost my empire, I haven't lost my money, and I haven't lost my dignity. The only thing I've lost is my title. I still have the power of the WWE Chairman, so you know what I can still make matches because I'm Vincent Kennedy McMahon!"

"Do your worst," snapped Machetti as he pushed Cena out of the way.

"That's a nice title," commented Vince as he stared at Machetti's WWE Championship, "I just lost mine. But that gives me an idea." Vince glanced at Cena then glared at Machetti, "you two were planning on having your little WWE title match tonight, well I'll tell you what, you're still going to have it, but it's not just going to be the two of you. It's going to be Machetti versus John Cena versus Umaga versus the Great Khali!"

"Is that it?" taunted Machetti, "look I know you're sore after losing last night. I once held the ECW World Title, and I lost it to Bobby Lashley too, and I wasn't even pinned cleanly in the middle of the ring. Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Of course I'm sure!" snarled Vince as he glared at Machetti, "in fact, that's not all that you're going to be doing tonight. Last night you might not have wrestled but it seems you made a little friend. Well I know for a fact that that 'friend' is here tonight. So before you face Cena, Umaga, and Khali you're going to defend your title, and you're going to defend it against your little friend."

"Now, for those of us who aren't delusional psychopaths, who is this 'little friend'?" asked Machetti.

"SHUT UP!" yelled Vince, "YOU'RE GONNA FACE MARK HENRY! AND YOU'RE GONNA FACE HIM RIGHT NOW!"

With that Mark Henry's music hit and the World's Strongest Man came through the curtain and stood on the entrance ramp. Mark Henry licked his lips and started down towards the ring.

"Machetti, after tonight, you'll have NO CHANCE of retaining your WWE title!" snapped Vince. Mark Henry's theme stopped and Vince McMahon's music played. Vince left the ring and walked passed Henry to the back, while Machetti stayed in the ring and glanced at Cena.

"And here I was thinking this would actually be a challenge," commented Machetti, "clear off, I've got this, then you'll get your shot later tonight."

"Well then you'd better win," said Cena, "because I don't want to end up with a match against THREE gorillas instead of just those other two."

Cena dropped his mic and got out of the ring, while Machetti pulled off his shirt and hat and tossed them out of the ring. Cena glanced at Mark Henry as walked up the entrance ramp to the back, leaving Machetti alone with Mark Henry, and a referee standing next to him. Henry climbed up onto the apron and mouth off at Machetti and with that Raw went to its first commercial break.

---x---

When Raw came back both Mark Henry and Machetti were in the ring. The referee was holding the WWE Championship and he showed it to Mark Henry then handed it to someone outside of the ring. The bell rang and the match was underway.

Henry stood across the ring from Machetti and yelled, "come on!"

Machetti simply yawned and leaned back against the ropes, "you come on," snapped Machetti.

The 'Silverback' charged at Machetti looking for a clothesline, but Machetti suddenly ducked down and rolled passed Henry, causing the World's Strongest Man to run into the ropes. Machetti jumped up to his feet and hit Henry with a corkscrew dropkick to the back, causing Henry to drop down to his knees. Machetti then ran forward jumped onto Henry's back, then bounced off of it onto the top rope, back flipped off of it, then came crashing back down on Henry knees-first, driving him down to the mat.

Machetti got up and ran to the ropes, then bounced off of them and sprinted over to Henry. Machetti jumped up slightly and dropkicked Henry in the side, causing the World's Strongest Man to roll over onto his back. Machetti stepped back then ran forwards and jumped up into the air, then did a back-flip and came crashing down on Henry for a standing shooting star press. From there Machetti went for the pin, ONE… TWO… but Henry reached up and launched Machetti off of him, sending the WWE Champion flying across the ring.

Machetti got back up to his feet, while Mark Henry sat up and glared at him. Machetti shrugged then walked over to the corner then sat on the top turnbuckle. Henry got back up to his feet and mouthed off at Machetti, "don't underestimate me! I'm the World's Strongest Man!"

"Don't get too upset," Machetti snapped back, "you might get injured." Henry rushed at Machetti, at full speed and full of rage. This punk might be the WWE Champion but that was no reason for him to be disrespecting him. But as Henry got close Machetti stood up on the middle rope then jumped off of them and launched himself over Henry's head, then landed on his feet behind him. Henry was moving too fast to stop himself and ran full speed into the turnbuckle, hitting it with a loud thud.

Henry bounced backwards off of the turnbuckle and stood dazed in the middle of the ring. Machetti charged at him then flipped himself up onto Henry's back, then he whipped around, grabbed Henry's head and slammed it down to the mat with a tornado DDT. Machetti rolled Henry onto his back and went for the pin, ONE… TWO… but Henry powered out.

Machetti rolled off of Henry and got back up to his feet. Henry slowly rolled onto his back then pulled himself up to his feet. "Come on big man," taunted Machetti, "you wanted to fight so bad, right? Bring it on!" Henry once again charged at Machetti, who charged right back. Henry stuck out his arm for a clothesline, but Machetti jumped up into the air and connected with a spinning wheel kicked to Henry's head, knocking Henry backwards, but the World's Strongest Man stayed on his feet.

Machetti landed on the ground in a crouching position, then sprinted passed Henry and jumped up onto the middle rope, springboarded backwards off of it and connected with a reverse clothesline to the back of Henry's head, knocking him down to his knees. Machetti quickly jumped back up to his feet and ran to the corner, then jumped up onto the top rope. Machetti turned around then lunged off of the top rope and landed on Henry with his leg across the back of his neck, driving the World's Strongest Man face-first down to the mat with what looked like a fameasser.

Again Machetti struggled and managed to roll Henry onto his back and then went for the pin, ONE… TWO… T… but Henry powered out. Machetti got back up then leaned back against the ropes, he was a little out of breath but was fine overall. Henry on the other hand was a wreck. Machetti wasn't taking him seriously and that was really messing with his mind. Back on Smackdown everyone was afraid of him, but now that he was on Raw, Machetti was running circles around him.

Mark Henry got up to his feet and was panting slightly, while glaring at Machetti. "If you want we can call for a time out so you can catch your breath," suggested Machetti with a smirk on his face. Henry acted on animalistic instinct and once again charged forward, but when he got close Machetti dropped down, causing Henry to run into the ropes. Machetti then caught Henry and took him down with a roll up, ONE… TWO… THR… Henry kicked out.

Machetti got up to his feet and Henry shot up as well, he was way beyond pissed he was furious. Henry charged at Machetti looking for a clothesline, but Machetti side-stepped him. This time though Henry managed to stop himself from bumping into anything, then he turned around and stalked Machetti back into the corner. Machetti bumped into the turnbuckle, Henry had him cornered. Henry raised his fist and swung at Machetti for a punch, but Machetti ducked down then went off on Henry with a rapid succession of jabs and punches to the stomach.

Henry lifted his arm over his head and went to smashed it down on top of Machetti, but Machetti reached up and caught Henry's arm with both of his. Henry brought his other hand over and pressed down on Machetti with both hands, looking to squish him, but Machetti quickly brought up his knee and drove it into Henry's stomach, causing him to double over. Machetti pushed Henry's arms up and off of him, then jumped backwards up onto the middle rope.

Henry recovered, but Machetti suddenly springboarded off of the middle rope, flipped over Henry and caught him with a sunset flip. Machetti placed his legs on top of Henry's arms for more leverage, ONE… TWO… THR… but Henry used the strength in his legs to kick Machetti off of him. Machetti rolled away and quickly jumped up to his feet, and while Henry was standing back up he climbed up onto the top rope.

Machetti jumped off of the top rope looking for a crossbody, but Henry reached up and suddenly caught Machetti in mid air. Henry then took Machetti and slammed him down to the mat with the World's Strongest Slam. But instead of going for the pin, Henry stood up and bent down over Machetti, "Maybe now you'll take me seriously! You have no idea who you're dealing with you son of a bitch!" Henry yelled down at Machetti's face. Henry dropped down to his knees and went for the pin on Machetti, ONE… TWO… THRE… MACHETTI GOT HIS HAND ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!

Henry looked at Machetti's arm in shock then stood up and dragged him into the middle of the ring. Henry then bent down and was about to go for another pin, but Machetti suddenly grabbed him and applied a pin with a small package, taking Henry completely by surprise, ONE… TWO… THREE! MACHETTI BEAT MARK HENRY!

Machetti rolled off of Henry and slid out of the ring, while Mark Henry sat on the mat in shock. Machetti smirked at Henry from outside of the ring, "maybe next time you'll cover me properly instead of running your mouth! And hopefully you'll say on Smackdown, this is the big leagues, you don't have what it takes to compete on Raw." Machetti turned and headed to the back, leaving the enraged Mark Henry in the ring. Raw then went to another commercial break.

---x---

Cryme Tyme and Candice Michelle had just beaten Nitro, Melina, and Dykstra. Santino Marella and Maria were shown backstage and Santino was showing Maria his Intercontinental Title. "You know if I didn't know any better I'd say you were flirting with her," commented Machetti as he walked on screen. Maria smiled then quickly rushed to Machetti and hugged him.

Machetti smiled down at Maria then looked back at Santino, "listen, I understand if you're doing a backstage interview, but if you touch Maria, you wont just have Chris Masters to deal with," said Machetti with a slight smirk.

Santino didn't have time to respond because Vince came on screen. "That's a nice title," Vince commented as he stared at Santino's Intercontinental Title, "I used to have a championship belt." Maria was about to say something, but Machetti quickly covered her mouth and whispered "shh" in her ear. "You know what," said Vince as he continued berating Santino, "you're going to take that title out to the ring, and you're going to defend it. Vince then reached out and slapped Santino across the face, "now git!" Santino quickly left while Vince shouted 'git' at him a few more times.

"Geez Vince, you might want to cool it, wrestlers don't really appreciate being slapped," commented Machetti. Vince turned and glared at him.

"Is that right?" snarled Vince, "I though Mark Henry wouldn't broken you in half."

"Not likely," replied Machetti as he moved Maria behind him, "he couldn't even touch me."

"Well then I guess you're still champion huh?" questioned Vince, "well guess what, you've still got to defend you title against John Cena, Umaga, and the Great Khali."

"I was counting on that," answered Machetti, "don't worry, I'll win that match too."

"Is that right?" questioned Vince, "well, what will you do, if the match is a no disqualifications match? Huh?"

In response Machetti simply laughed, "sounds like fun, is that really the best you can do?"

Machetti must have struck a nerve because Vince suddenly lashed out and went to slap him, but Machetti shot his hand up and blocked it. "Watch it," snapped Machetti, "you're not going to like what happens when you piss me off. Now go terrorize someone else!" Vince was seething worse than ever, but slowly turned and walked off, but not before shooting a fierce glare at Machetti, who returned the glared with a little wave.

"What's going on with you?" asked Maria, "you were taunting Mark Henry and now you're taunting Vince McMahon, aren't you worried about you're match?"

"He just made it no disqualifications," replied Machetti, as he wrapped one of his arms around Maria, "that means I can do whatever I want out there. I think it's time that I broke out my pipe again." With that the camera faded and Raw went to another commercial break.

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Raw was back and the Great Khali was already in the ring, it was time for the WWE Title Match. Umaga's theme hit and the Samoan Bulldozer headed down to the ring. Umaga got in the ring and had a brief stare down with Khali, but then My Time Is Now hit and the Number One Contender John Cena came down to the ring. Umaga and Khali both glared at Cena as he pulled off his shirt and got in the ring. But everyone once again turned back to the entrance ramp as Riot Time hit.

Machetti came out from the back, once again wearing his 'Go Hard Or Go Home' t-shirt, Machetti had the WWE Title on his left shoulder and hit pipe over his right. He confidently made his way down to the ring, then got in and stood next to Cena. The referee glanced at Machetti's steel pipe but knew that it was legal in a no disqualification match, so simply took Machetti's title and showed it to everyone in the ring.

The bell rang and Machetti shared a stare down, while Khali and Umaga glanced at each other. Machetti then shook his head at Cena, telling him it would indeed be every man for himself, then he charged at Umaga and nailed him with the pipe, knocking the Samoan Bulldozer backwards. Cena charged at Khali but ended up running right into a clothesline. Khali picked Cena up and tossed him into the corner, then worked him over with some hard kicks and punches.

Meanwhile Machetti cracked Umaga on the head with the pipe, causing him to topple over the top rope and down to the floor. Machetti climbed up onto the top rope and held his pipe with one hand, while waiting for Umaga to get to his feet. Once Umaga was standing Machetti launched himself off of the top rope while holding his pipe out in front of him, the pipe smashed into Umaga's head, knocking him backwards, and then Machetti's added body weight knocked Umaga back down to the floor.

Khali grabbed Cena and whipped him across the ring, then caught him as he came back with a big boot. Khali bent down and lifted Cena up then tossed him out of the ring. Khali went out after Cena and whipped him into the steel steps. The impact of Cena hitting the steps caused the top section to break off all together. Machetti pulled himself up to his feet and stepped over Cena, and went after Khali with his pipe. But Khali reached out and grabbed Machetti's pipe before he could hit him.

Khali pulled the pipe away from Machetti and tossed it to the side, then he raised his hand and leveled Machetti with a hard chop, knocking him down to the floor. Cena and Umaga fought back up to their feet and Cena went right after Khali, while Umaga picked up the top part of the steel steps. Umaga threw the steps at Cena, who suddenly ducked, causing them to smash into Khali, knocking the Punjabi Giant to the ground. Umaga walked over to Khali and yelled something no one understood down at him.

Umaga then turned around and started brawling with Cena, and eventually the two of them fought into the ring. Cena and Umaga brawled inside the ring, but eventually Umaga took Cena down with a clothesline. The fans in the arena saw that Cena was in trouble and started chanting, Cena, Cena! Cena fought up to his feet and went for a sunset flip on Umaga, but Umaga struggled and managed to say up.

Suddenly Machetti pulled himself up onto the ring apron, then hoisted himself onto the top rope. Machetti springboarded off of the top rope and took down Umaga with a springboard clothesline, allowing Cena to finish with the sunset flip. Cena had Umaga pinned, ONE… TWO… THR… But Machetti ran in and kicked Cena hard on the back.

Umaga got back up to his feet and took down Machetti with a clothesline, then he pulled Machetti up and tossed him into the corner. Umaga stepped back and charged at Machetti looking for a body splash, but Machetti dove out of the way, causing Umaga to smash into the corner. Umaga bounced off of the turnbuckle but Cena came from behind and lifted Umaga up and held him sideways. Suddenly Machetti launched himself off of the top rope and connected with a missile dropkick to Umaga's back, causing Cena to fall backwards, and Umaga to smash down on top of Cena. Umaga laid there and went for a pin, ONE… TWO… TH… but Machetti ran forward and dropkicked Umaga in the face, knocking him away from Cena.

Umaga charged at Machetti and went for a clothesline, but Machetti ducked then lashed out with a hard kick to the stomach, stopping Umaga in his tracks. Machetti then ran at Umaga, jumped up and grabbed Umaga in mid air, then swung around him and drove Umaga's head down to the mat with a tornado DDT. Machetti went for a quickly pin on Umaga, ONE… TWO… T… but Cena grabbed Machetti's ankle and pulled him off of Umaga.

Machetti got up and glared at Cena, the fans cheered loudly, they were enjoying every second of this. Machetti grabbed Cena and went to whip him into the corner, but Cena reversed it and sent Machetti into the corner instead, then Cena charged at Machetti and hit a clothesline, driving him back into the turnbuckle. Cena then grabbed Machetti and lifted him up onto the top rope.

Cena climbed up onto the middle rope and went off on Machetti with hard punches, but Machetti sensed danger and fought right back. But after Machetti with an uppercut to Cena's jaw, Umaga suddenly came from behind and stuck his head in between Cena's legs. Umaga then fell backwards and nailed Cena with an electric chair drop. Umaga got up and screamed at Machetti, who moved so he was standing on the top rope.

But before Machetti could launch himself at Umaga, Khali grabbed Machetti's ankle, then yanked him backwards. Machetti landed hard on the floor with a loud thud and was out cold. Khali got in the ring, while at the same time Umaga was standing over John Cena. Umaga turned around and he and Khali shared an intense stare down, then the two behemoths started trading blows. Umaga ran passed Khali and bounced off of the ropes, but Khali spun around and connected with a spinning kick, knocking Umaga to the ground.

Khali then went after Cena, who was laying low on the ring apron. Khali reached over the ropes and grabbed Cena, then pulled him up. But Cena suddenly dropped down and caused Khali's head to snap onto the top rope. Cena rushed into the ring and hoisted Khali up onto his shoulders for an F-U, but Khali connected with an elbow to Cena's head and fought out of the F-U.

Khali then whipped Cena into the corner, causing him to fall forward on his face. Khali reached down and picked Cena up, hoisted him up into the air, then slammed him down to the mat with a scoop slam. Khali then jumped up and practically took Cena's head off with a leg drop. Khali went for the pin, ONE… TWO… THR… but Cena got his foot on the bottom rope.

Umaga climbed up and stood on the ring apron and shouted at Khali, but Khali brought his hand up and slammed it down on Umaga's head, knocking him off of the apron and down to the floor. Khali then turned around and saw Cena on his feet, but knocked him down with another hard chop. Khali reached down and picked Cena up, but Umaga got in the ring and hit Khali with a clothesline, knocking Khali back into the ropes, causing him to get tied up.

Umaga whipped Cena into the corner then nailed a clothesline, causing Cena to slid down and lean against the bottom rope. Umaga went across the ring then charged at Cena looking for the hip smash, but Cena dove out of the way, causing Umaga to hit the turnbuckle. Umaga bounced off the turnbuckle and ran right into Khali who grabbed Umaga for the chokebomb.

But Umaga brought up his taped up thumb and drove it into Khali's throat for the Samoan Spike, knocking Khali off of him. Cena charged at Umaga and knocked hit a shoulder block, knocking Umaga out of the ring. Cena then grabbed Khali and pulled him up to his feet, then hoisted him onto his shoulder and nailed the F-U. Cena didn't have a second to go for the pin, because suddenly he was cracked across the face with Machetti's pipe.

Machetti pulled Cena up and nailed him with the Machetti's Blade, but instead of going for the pin, Machetti jumped to his feet and ran to the corner, then jumped up onto the top rope. Machetti looked down at Cena and Khali then glanced out at the fans, Machetti pointed to Cena and received some cheers, then pointed to Khali, and received another set of cheers. Again Machetti pointed to Cena then pointed to Khali, and the fans cheered louder when he pointed to Khali.

Machetti shrugged and focused on the Punjabi Giant, who was laying three quarters of the way across the ring. Machetti stood up on the top rope, then jumped up into the air and springboarded off of the top rope, launching himself clear across the ring, while at the same time doing a back flip, Machetti lifted his legs out in front of him and crashed down on Khali legs first for a Shooting Star Press Leg Drop. Machetti went for the pin, ONE… TWO… THREE! MACHETTI RETAINS THE TITLE!

Riot Time hit as Machetti got up to his feet and stood tall in the middle of the ring. The fans cheered and chanted Machetti, MACHETTI over and over again. The referee then came over and handed Machetti the WWE Title, which Machetti took and held over his head, earning himself more cheers from the crowd, Machetti lowered the title and spun the spinner, then ran to the corner and held the title out in front of him. Raw faded and the WWE logo flashed, and with that Raw went off the air.

---x---

Yeah in that chapter I wanted to prove something. I DON'T HATE John Cena. Sure he's not my favorite wrestler but he's a hard worker and he's been improving. Incase you couldn't guess, I can't stand Mark Henry, he's a sloppy wrestlers, and he's lazy where in he has no desire to improve himself. Henry is also prone to injury and tend to injure other superstars a lot and I just felt that I'd show what I can do to a wrestler when I really don't like them.

So yeah, next week's the draft, I can't wait, things should get shaken up quite a bit, I'm not all that sure what I'm going to do with Machetti, but I'll wait to see what happens.

'Till Next Time…

Peace!