Inferno
Disclaimer: I am not Suzanne Collins and I don't own the Hunger Games.
Chapter 14
"Wake up," I hear someone whisper into my ear, sounding incredibly annoyed. "Wake up, Catnip, for god's sake. Wake up!"
"What?" I mumble, and through my sleep-encrusted eyes I can just barely make out the time displayed on Gale's clock. Three in the morning.
Out of instinct, my hands dart to the right of me, expecting Prim's warmth but only finding silky, cold sheets. A haze lifts off of me and I sit up with a start. "Are you crazy? We don't need to be awake for another hour!" I say to Gale.
One hour of lost sleep shouldn't make too much of an impact on me, since I've learned to live with only as little as three hours of sleep at a time, but the Games are today. We can use as much rest as we can get.
"We only have a few more hours of freedom," Gale says impatiently. "We should make use of it." As much as I would like to argue with him, I know he has a point.
Gale plants a brief kiss on my forehead before I scramble out of bed. The gesture brings back bits and pieces of last night's events in a flurry, until I have the whole picture in my mind. My lips seem to be on fire, and I'm afraid that they're doing something like glowing or burning as a notice to the whole world. I duck my head momentarily, touching my lips for a fleeting second. A weight seems to settle in my stomach. What had gotten into me last night? What happened to the strict mantra about love I'd planted in my head since the age of twelve?
There must've been something in the food last night, I decide.
Neither of us bother changing out of our nightclothes. Gale takes my hand, and although my deeply-ingrained instincts are screaming at me to pull away after what happened the night before, I let him hold it. I don't want him to think I regret anything, even though I'm not sure I don't. I feel more conscious than I should with the completely innocent gesture as we move through the silent halls, half-expecting Haymitch to pop up and laugh at me.
Gale tugs me towards the staircase to the roof. Thankfully, the door's closed but unlocked, and Gale quietly pulls it open. He starts to climb the stairs and I follow him, marveling at the sight that awaits us on the rooftop. The Capitol is even brighter than the first night we saw it. I can hear singing and a loud hum of conversation, punctuated by car horns. Everything is alive and moving, colors clashing with colors and lights blinking on and off.
"To think that is all for us," Gale says dryly as we both look down on the city. We drift into a contented silence, and I close my eyes and try to savor the feeling of the cool breeze on my face.
"I still can't believe that we've gotten ourselves into this mess," I say, opening my eyes and staring out at the city.
"The Capitol got us into this mess," Gale responds, casting a sideways glance at me. Typical.
"Yeah."
"Catnip?" he prods. "I know there's something else on your mind."
"I can't do this, Gale," I say finally. "We can't do this. The Games change people, Gale. Remember that one girl a few years ago? She was so genuinely sweet and almost completely innocent in the interviews, but she killed nine people. Nine people."
Gale grabs me by the shoulders and whirls me around so that I'm facing him.
"So you're going to let the Capitol change you?" he asks, an all-too-familiar fire burning in his eyes.
"Gale, they control our lives right now. We're in their hands, and-"
"Are you going to let the Capitol get in your way?" he asks, his voice hard.
"I-"
"Are you?"
"Wait, Gale-"
"No, Katniss. They've taken away our lives, for god's sake. Don't let them change the real you. We're gonna show them that we're more than just pieces in their game," Gale says firmly, holding my gaze. His hatred for the Capitol has always been obvious to me, but right now that hatred is multiplied by a thousand, and I'm shocked still by it. Gale's rants in the woods have already proven enough to me that he despises the Capitol, but the look on his face right now makes me think he could start an uprising all on his own.
The notion scares me.
I nod mutely in agreement to Gale's words.
Maybe if I kill myself early on I can escape this hell-hole. I'll never even give the Capitol the chance to turn me into some sort of killing machine. But then you'll be leaving Gale alone, I tell myself. I can't leave Gale. Or Prim. I'll have to choose between them in the arena. I'll have to leave one of them.
Even though I'm not quivering and I'm pretty sure that I don't look like I'm on the verge of a breakdown, my internal conflict must be reflected in my eyes because Gale's expression softens and he makes a move to wrap his arms around me. I involuntarily make a slight movement backwards. There's a flash of hurt in Gale's eyes but it's gone as soon as it came. He turns back around.
"We also can't do this, Gale," I say, my voice slightly shaky. I gesture vaguely at the space in between us. "We just can't. The Games are today."
We can't get too close, I tell myself. The closer you are, the harder it gets. Besides, bad things always seem to happen to anyone I dare to love. I loved my father, he was blown into bits. I loved my mother at one point, and she clocked out on the world. I love Prim, and she got reaped.
"Sorry about last night, Catnip. I won't push you. I'm sorry," he repeats, looking guilty.
I open my mouth to say that's not what I meant, but he cuts in.
"I've heard your philosophies on love so many times I've pretty much memorized them, Catnip. I'm sorry," he repeats for the third time. "I shouldn't have."
My heart tells me to contradict him but my mind holds me back. Maybe it's better this way. Besides, old habits die hard. Regardless, I launch myself into his arms.
"Not your fault," I mumble, crushed against his chest. "I think the universe just hates us." I don't know what I mean by that last line and I don't elaborate either, leaving Gale to interpret it any way he wants.
We stand like that until the sun rises somewhere in the distance.
"We have to go back before Effie and Haymitch start to worry about us," I say, reluctantly breaking the silence. I wind myself out of his grasp. I start to head down the stairs, but Gale stops me, quickly ducking into the greenhouse. After a few moments, he emerges out of it, carrying something in his hand. He uncurls his fingers to reveal a small, Capitol-engineered berry resting in his palm.
"And may the odds," he starts. The berry comes in a high arc towards me. I catch it with my mouth, letting the artificial sweetness explode in my mouth.
"Be ever in your favor," I finish.
We're just mocking ourselves now and Gales knows it too. The odds haven't been in our favor for quite a while now and I see no reason for that to change.
As we descend the staircase, over Gale's head I can just make out a frantic Effie pacing up and down the hallways. Haymitch leans against the wall, looking amused. "They'll turn up, Effie. I bet they've just gone off somewhere for some alone time."
Gale and I move into Haymitch's field of view and he says, "See? I told you." Effie stops her pacing and comes towards us, grabbing one of us in each arm and pulling us towards the sitting room. Once we all arrive there, I see that Cinna and Portia are already waiting for us.
"Fifteen minutes until the hovercraft comes," Effie says, glancing down at her watch.
Everyone is completely silent once we settle into the couches. Gale and I sit together in the middle of the group, shoulders touching.
"Remember, sweetheart," Haymitch says finally. "Gotta play up the angle. You'll lose a lot of sponsors if you don't, although I guess the boy's looks could still keep you two going." I nod briefly in reply, not dwelling much on the thought much. My nerves escalate with each passing second.
"It should be here now," Effie says, and I'm surprised to find she sounds like she's holding back tears. Everyone gets up and me and Gale stand rather robotically, exchanging a look. This is it.
Effie hugs us, real tears making their way down her face, and I realize that it doesn't take much to get someone from the Capitol to cry. I suppose that Gale and I are the only ones who have the right to cry right now; after all, one or both of us is going to die in the near future. Haymitch stands with his arms crossed and offers one last, "Stay alive." Effie and Haymitch won't be escorting us to the arena. That's the designers' job.
Everyone trudges up the stairs once our goodbyes are exchanged. Two hovercrafts appear out of nowhere when we're on the roof. One for Gale and one for me to take us to our separate launching pads. Before we board, Effie gives us each one last, suffocating hug, and then Gale and I turn to each other, holding each other's gazes for a brief moment before Gale engulfs me in his arms. We cling to each other for a few short moments, and I hear Effie sigh from somewhere off to my right. Haymitch doesn't even snicker this time.
"Time to go," Cinna says, gently laying a hand on my shoulder. I part from Gale, and follow Cinna to the ladder of one of the hovercrafts. Gale trails behind Portia. Cinna starts to climb up the ladder first, and when I start to follow him by putting my hands on the lower rungs, a current freezes me in place until we're safely onto the hovercraft. Once we're on, a woman in a white coat appears and injects something into my arm while I'm still paralyzed.
"A tracker," she tells me. "Wouldn't want to lose a tribute in the arena, would we?" she adds with a laugh.
I locate the nearest seat and plop down onto it, staring out the window. Cinna sits quietly beside me, not saying anything. His presence comforts me, if only a tiny bit. An Avox appears from a door off to the right, and he carries a giant tray with breakfast. Despite my churning stomach, I eat as much as I can, not knowing the next time I'll have a proper meal. The whole half hour trip passes by in a whirlwind of colors and my own crazy thoughts. I look at the passing birds wistfully.
If only I were like them. Free.
When the hovercraft lands Cinna and I are led into an underground tube. We follows instructions into a small chamber that I'll be dressed and launched from. The Stockyard, they call it in the districts. Where animals go before slaughter. In the Capitol, it's called the Launching Room, a significantly milder term.
I shower and clean my teeth, trying to keep my breakfast down. Cinna twists my hair into my familiar braid down my back, and a few minutes later my clothes arrive. Cinna takes out the outfit and helps me dress into the undergarments, simple pants, green blouse, sturdy brown belt, and thin, hooded black jacket that falls to my thighs.
"The material in the jacket's designed to reflect body heat," he says, pinching some of the fabric between his fingers. The boots that came with the clothes are flexible and durable, better than the ones I have back home, though not as familiar. After I've pulled on both boots, Cinna pulls my Mockingjay pin from his pocket and fastens it onto my blouse.
"I forgot about that," I say. I must've left it on my clothes and Cinna rescued it.
We sit in silence after that, my nerves overpowering me now. My body shakes slightly, and I tap my foot on the ground in an irregular rhythm. Cinna and I don't talk but he holds out his hand towards me and I take it gratefully. Someone brings more food and water but I think I'll throw up if I eat any more. I sip the water gingerly, the liquid almost spilling over the edge of the glass because of my quivering arms.
A pleasant female voice echoes through the room after forever, announcing it's time for launch. I almost throw up right then, but manage to put down the glass I'm holding and stand on the circular metal plate, clenching Cinna's hand.
"Remember to run and find a source of water. The rest will follow," Cinna says, and then adds, "I'm not allowed to bet, but if I could, all my money would be on you."
"Really?" I ask, and Cinna nods.
"Really."
"And Cinna? If we never see each other again, I just want you to know that I really appreciate everything you did for me. You've been a good friend."
The cylinder begins to rise, and I start to panic as Cinna's hands are cut off from mine. "Head held high, Girl on Fire. You can do this." Following Cinna's instructions, I lift my chin up and stand as straight as I can.
(A/N)
The Games will completely start next chapter :D
Hope you guys enjoyed :)