The Absence
Chapter 14
by The Conqueror Worm
"Sad but true, the two of us might really make it through.
Oh , what's the use, dear Jenny, anyway?
The world is happy
The world is happy
The world is happy without you."
-The Dresden Dolls, "Dear Jenny"
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"This," Snape said, holding up a shiny gold coin, "is a galleon. Many things in our story cost at least one of these. For example…" He held up a gnarled root. "This costs precisely four of them. It does not, however, cost 11 sickles."
"Alright, alright. I get it!" Sirius snapped, reaching into his pocket for a few galleons to drop into the register. Honestly, you messed up on one (or three) transactions and suddenly Snape was thrown into a tizzy.
Snape narrowed his black eyes at his coworker's tone. "I really can't see how you've made it to your twenties without being able to understand basic math. I'd do better trying to train a monkey to do this job than you."
Sirius opened his mouth to say something nasty, but Melinda emerged from the back room, grinning at the sight of Sirius, who looked haughty yet attractive behind the wooden counter. It really was nice to see a good looking man in her store, she thought; she hardly ever got anyone that wasn't deformed or ugly, her store being located in Knockturn Alley and all. Her shiny blue eyes glanced over at Snape and quickly looked away with a slight frown. Yes, certainly not a whole lot of attractive men here. "Well, boys, how is the training going?"
"Absolutely abysmal," Snape sneered, glaring at Sirius, but if Melinda heard him, she didn't react. Instead, she continued mooning over Black, who was saying something moronic while grinning in a way he must have thought made him seem endearing. Snape struggled not to role his eyes, though no one would have noticed; he was used to watching women go crazy over Sirius Black. He frowned, remembering the way the girls in Slytherin had bemoaned that Sirius Black had not been in their house; instead, they had gotten stuck with that dud, Regulus Black. The way Bellatrix would start cursing the girls wildly whenever she overheard these conversations almost made up for the annoyance of it. Instantly a small, barely imperceptible pang shot through his mind at the memory of Regulus—how he'd felt a little pity for Regulus, who was so talentless next to his family members, and how he'd wanted to annoy Sirius by taking his younger brother under his wing—but he quelled it almost instantly; Regulus had been nothing more than a haughty nuisance for years. The Blacks were all annoying, all arrogant and reckless idiots, and he'd had enough of them. He glanced over at Sirius, who was drumming his fingers on the wooden counter and watching the clock; Melinda had returned to the backroom, where she usually secretly napped while Snape manned the store. If she did so after Snape left, leaving Sirius in charge, this place would be out of business in a month. Or somehow burned to the ground, he thought, sneering.
"Er,so…" Sirius began, and Snape turned to find Black looking uncharacteristically uncomfortable. "Uh, Lily came in again yesterday while you were out on that delivery; she was asking for you." He took a deep breath, avoiding Snape's eyes. "She looked pretty embarrassed at the sight of me, though. Ran right out of here. I noticed she didn't come back in today."
Snape was quiet for so long that Sirius was sure that he wouldn't answer. Finally, he said rather quietly, "And what exactly is your point, Black?"
"Well, just that….I mean…" He looked around the store as if the rat brains and dead spiders would suddenly speak up with some helpful suggestions as to how to continue. "I kinda wondered what's going on between you and, you know, my best friend's wife." He finally glanced up and met Snape's eyes and instantly regretted it. Snape had a small, sick sort of smile on his face; there was something a little sinister about it.
"Tell me, Black, why the sudden interest in Potions again? You never seemed particularly interested in the subject in school, even if you did have some passable skill for it. And even stranger, why insist on shopping at a store in Knockturn Alley? Seems a little shady for a Gryffindor, but perhaps I'm being suspicious? I can't imagine you would be up to something immoral." The last part he said slowly and sarcastically and Sirius swallowed rather loudly in reply. They spent the last hour together in silence, both staring at the clock as if it had wronged them by taking its time reaching five o'clock.
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Albus Dumbledore caught Snape's eye from where he was seated at the bar and smiled politely. He nodded to the barman as Snape approached and gestured for the younger man to follow him to a room in the back. He pretended not to see Snape trip over an uneven floorboard and irritably swipe his greasy hair off of his face as they crossed the room to a small table by the fire. "It's a pleasure to see you again, Severus." He ignored Snape's look of skepticism at his words. "I trust you've been up to great things since graduation?"
"Well, I received my official Potions' Master licensure earlier this week, actually," Snape replied, sitting in the rickety wooden chair opposite Dumbledore's. "That's one of the reasons I wanted to interview with you, actually. I'm fully certified now."
"Congratulations," Dumbledore said, smiling that same polite smile. Severus instantly felt the odd annoyance he remembered feeling toward Dumbledore at school; he could never help feeling as if the Headmaster pitied him or thought him strange in comparison to his precious Gryffindors. "That is indeed an impressive feat for someone still so young. It usually takes another year or two, correct?"
"Yes, but I doubled up on some of my advanced courses and worked full-time during the days."
"Well, I can certainly see you're not afraid of hard work. Though," and here, Dumbledore seemed to get less friendly and more serious. "I must admit I'm confused as to why you wish to use your licensure to teach. According to Professor Slughorn, your career ambitions lay more in the realm of owning your own Apothecary; I assume that's why you trained in one, rather than as a teaching assistant, correct? And I must admit," he paused, adjusting his half-moon spectacles, "I never pegged you as someone who would wish to spend your days around children."
Dumbledore's words rang true; in fact, the word 'children' made him feel a twinge of disgust. "I think that this would be a good career for me," he lied, keeping his face smooth and impassive. "It's not what I intended eight years ago," he paused to let a nasty little silence echo around his words. As if no one changed their career plans in that time! "But once I heard about the opportunity to teach, it seemed like the right path for me."
Dumbledore nodded. "Of course, of course. Life has a funny way of working sometimes, doesn't it, Severus? I suppose I just wonder at your level of commitment if this choice is truly a spur of the moment fancy."
Snape frowned, growing more and more angry at the way Dumbledore was speaking to him. Certainly, the Headmaster wasn't this hard on all of the candidates. He'd just seen Troy Donovan, who'd been a Ravenclaw two years above him at school, practically skipping out of the pub and waving over his shoulder at Dumbledore. He'd given Snape a skeptical little smirk as they passed each other, making sure to let his eyes linger on Snape's baggy, faded black robes and dirty hair. "I assure you, Headmaster, I am quite committed," he said through gritted teeth.
"Well, then, Severus, you won't mind if I ask you to lift up your left sleeve for a moment would you?" He gestured at Snape's arm as if it were something he didn't particularly want to touch himself.
Snape sat there for a moment, feeling somewhat confused. His arm? Was this some sort of test? Was he supposed to have done something to his arm before coming to the Hogs Head? "You're not serious, are you?" he finally said aloud.
"I assure you, Severus," Dumbledore replied grimly, no longer entertaining the pretense of politeness, "I am incredibly serious."
They sat for another moment, regarding each other with suspicion, before Snape started to roll up his sleeve, his black eyes boring into Dumbledore's blue ones. The Headmaster's Occlumency was perfect; he could not see or feel anything going on inside of the man across from him. He reinforced his own mind's walls, feeling the unsubtle push of Dumbledore's Legilimency skills. At last, Dumbledore broke their locked gazes and stared down at Snape's pale, skinny forearm, his eyebrows raised skeptically. The skin was smooth and unblemished, except for one or two small scars from burns he'd accrued while brewing potions. "And your right arm?" he said, as if he didn't believe what he was seeing. Snape sighed but obeyed, showing Dumbledore his right arm, too, which had quite a few more burn scars and a few from being thrown around by his father. Dumbledore slowly drew his wand, muttering incantations as he waved it over Snape's arms.
After a few minutes of this ridiculousness, Snape lost what little patience he had. "If there's no possibility of me getting this job, perhaps I'll just go, then, unless you have a few more things you'd like to mutter to my limbs."
Dumbledore put away his wand and looked back up at Snape, regarding him as if he wasn't quite sure who the person in front of him was. "Tell me, Severus, have you ever met a man who calls himself 'The Dark Lord?'"
Snape wrestled with whether he should answer this question or not, but Dumbledore didn't seem to have an ulterior motive. "Once," he muttered, looking away.
Dumbledore leaned forward and tented his fingers, resting his chin on top of them. "Only once? And he didn't mark you in some way during this meeting? Or perhaps mention a group calling themselves the Death Eaters?"
"He mentioned the Death Eaters." He wasn't about to tell Dumbledore he had been present at a Death Eater meeting, nor was he going to volunteer that the meeting had occurred during Lucius Malfoy's party.
"And?"
"And what? I thought it was a ridiculous name." Snape snapped, throwing his hands in the air. "Almost as ridiculous as this interview. Were you ever interested in me for the position, or was this always some ploy to see whether I agreed to be a psychopath's plaything for life?"
"On the contrary, Severus," Dumbledore said, adopting the same courteous tone he'd had at the beginning of the interview. "I think you are very well-suited for the job. Professor Slughorn initially planned to finish out the term, but in light of recent events, he has a strong desire to begin traveling as soon as possible. How would you like to start when classes resume in January?"
Snape blinked. "You mean, you're actually hiring me?" Dumbledore smiled sincerely and nodded. It was as if he had been holding his breath and was only now allowed to breathe again. This was the chance for him to separate himself from the people who had been taking turns tormenting him. In a few weeks, he'd never have to see Sirius again, Lily would have no idea where he had gone and could do nothing more but owl him, and he wouldn't have to deal with any old classmates dropping in to mock him or push him to take part in torturing Muggles. He allowed himself to flash a small, quick smile in Dumbledore's direction. This was his moment to finally escape.
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"Where's Professor Slughorn?" A small, sandy-haired boy asked again, his small arm still raised in the air, though he'd blurted out the question before Snape could call on him.
"Ten points from Hufflepuff," Snape snarled, flexing his hands as if he wished to snap the boy's little neck with his bare hands. "And it'll be thirty if you ask me that question again."
"Sir? Sir!" a lanky girl shrieked, batting frantically at where her robes had caught on fire. Snape strongly considered letting the flames consume her, but he grudgingly put out the small fire by soaking her with water. She sputtered, spitting out water onto the floor.
"Professor," a boy whined, waving his hand in the air. "My potion is bright orange, but it's supposed to be blue. What happened? Can I still get points for trying?"
"Silence!" Snape snapped, giving a mad little hop to punctuate the word. "All of you shut up and work. If I hear so much as a cough, I'm taking a hundred points from Hufflepuff." He glared, making sure to make eye contact with every child in the room, all of whom looked a little frightened by his outburst. A boy sniffled, but Snape quelled the sound with a particularly nasty glare. He strode back to his desk, his robes flapping behind him, and sat down on his chair. He looked down at the lone piece of parchment on his desk, and after a moment, he shakily reached out and flipped it over to read the words again. Snape tried not to care; he wanted so badly to be numb, but a strange feeling kept bouncing around in his chest, as if a snitch were trapped in his rib cage.
'I left James,' he read again and again until the bell rang and the sounds of eleven children packing their things and shuffling out of the room disrupted the silence buzzing around in his head.
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Well, what did everyone think? I've stopped getting Story Alerts, etc. for this fic, so with the exception of the talented Harmonic Friction, I'm not sure if people are still reading. A few reviews would be welcome, if anyone has a chance, even if it's just "I like it so far." Thank you in advance. ;)
Next chapter will be three years in the future, when Harry and Hermione are getting ready to start at Hogwarts. I have some plans for Sirius that I can't wait to write, and you'll see more Snape/Lily. I'll try to get a new chapter up sometime next week.