A/N: Ok so I don't like Sif that much...and I totally made out the "bonding time" stuff with Loki and Thor, I don't know where it came from. Also I do love Jotun Loki.

Don't forget to review! I love you all

Fran

It was getting out of hand, really. She found the desperation she felt when Loki left out to be out of this world. It was as if her heart ached, like she wanted to crawl into a ball and cry for hours. What was wrong with her? Why was she acting as if her heart had been ripped out of her chest? Sometimes she did cry, sometimes she laid in bed until Domé pulled her out of it and forced her to talk about whatever random things she could.

She was driving herself crazy with her own feelings.

"Does he have to do this every day?" she asked Domé, as she was once again dragged her out of the bed.

"Yes my Lady, I believe this is part of the brothers bonding ritual."

"The what?"

"After a soul mate ritual takes place, the family of the groom spends quality time with him since he is about to start a new life"

"I had no idea about that." she sighed frustrated at the lack of information she got from Loki about this whole ritual thing.

"Do not worry my lady; this bonding ritual will end in a few days."

"Oh precious, great" she lay back in bed, once again frustrated at how hormonal and crazy she was acting. What was with her wanting to cry all of a sudden?

"Are you sadden, my lady?" Domé asked her, sitting at the edge of her bed.

"I am a little" she confessed, her eyes already getting watery.

"Do you miss Prince Loki?"

"Yes." she sat upright on the bed, sighing heavily "but I don't know why I feel like this. I mean it's not like he's supposed to be here with me the entire time, he's free to do whatever he wishes to do. But I just can't help but feeling this way, like him being gone hurts me…and all I want to do now is cry."

Tears ran down her face and she wiped them off angrily feeling suddenly stupid for overreacting at such a stupid thing, but when the tears started to fall she couldn't stop them. She felt weird, they have been married for almost three months, it wasn't the first time Loki and Thor had been out, it wasn't the first time they had been separated at least for a couple of hours and the first time she didn't get the same reaction. Now this was too much, she felt like a little girl whom favorite teddy bear had been taken away. Pathetic could be a description too.

"Is there anything I can do you for you, My Lady?" Domé asked her, making small circles on her back to calm her down.

"No sweetie, thank you." She sobbed, once again wiping away the fresh tears "I think I better get up and walk around a little, staying in bed won't do anything good to me."

"Are you going to the garden?"

She sighed heavily, walking towards the window to stare at the view before her, at the empty place where they used to sit.

"I think I will. It's the only place that seems to calm me down."

"Alright."

She sat on the bench, holding the same flower Loki gave to her on their first encounter, enjoying the forced silence upon her. It was weird for her to be alone after sharing the same space with Loki so many times, her heart clenched inside her chest for the second time in the same day. Everything around her bought tears to her eyes, every smell reminded her of something or someone and the pain came back again and she felt homesick like had never felt before.

It was something so odd to her, not being able to control her emotions like she used to, she had never felt homesick before, she had never missed anyone before either, perhaps that's why it is so surprising to miss Loki the way she was doing now and she was desperate to make the feeling go away.

"Enjoying your new life, my lady?"

Her head snapped towards the voice, recognizing the bitterness of the woman's voice immediately. Sif. Just what she needed.

"To the fullest."

"Where is your lovely husband now?" Sif asked with a mocking smile on her face.

"I don't think that's any of your business." she was changing her mood quickly, that sadness was quickly replaced by anger, towards her more than anything.

"Why are you so upset?"

"Why are you here? " Natasha asked her "if you're here to say crap about Loki…."

"I am not here to speak about anything, that is not the truth," Sif spoke "You will, one day, regret ever walking into this world. You will regret marrying the beast you call a husband…"

"Are you threatening me?" Natasha moved closer, taking quick steps towards the woman in front of her, ready to hit her whenever she provoked her. "Do you really think I will feel intimidated by your words?"

"No, you probably will not. I am certain he is brain washing you and manipulating you…"

"I love him and he loves me, not that it is any of your business."

"A monster like him is incapable of loving anyone but himself." Sif spoke "One day you will see the real face underneath that masquerade and mind my words, you will regret waking up next to him every day of your life."

Even though she tried not to let Sif's words affect her, it did, giving her current state of mind, but she refused to cry at the harshness and bitterness of the words. She walked away quickly, leaving Sif standing alone with her anger.

She stood by the window again, looking at a lost spot on the blue sky. It had been hours since she left the garden and even though she promised not to pay attention to Sif words they still rang around her head. The woman was angry, granted, but saying Loki was not being real to her haunted her, even if whatever she was saying might not be true; just the thought of him hiding something from her had hurt her.

Two arms wrapped around her waist and just like magic her heart resumed its normal pace and the feeling of sadness/angriness vanished from her soul. He kissed her neck causing her to moan softly. She turned around, wrapping her arms around his neck, smiling contently for having him with her.

"Hi." she whispered

"Hello," he grinned back "look, I have no cuts now."

"Good…that's good" her eyes focused on her face and the words Sif told her came back to her brain and she pulled away a little, making Loki frowned at her actions.

"Are you alright?" he asked and she faked a smile just to please him.

"Yeah, I just…had an argument with Sif" she explains pretending she didn't give much thought to it.

"Another one?" he asked "What was this about?"

"Nothing, It's not important."

"It is if it gets you like this, sad."

"She…said somethings about you."

"Doesn't she always?"

"She said that once I see your real face, the one you hide underneath your skin, I will regret being with you."

He stepped away from her, just like she had done before, and looked down at his hands. He was uncomfortable and taken aback by she had said. She didn't understand what Sif had stated, she thought she meant about what had happened in Asgard and the 'real face' meant that Loki had been evil once, but she knew all about that. Or maybe Sif was just trying to cause Natasha to argue with him to cause both of them pain.

But Loki thought differently, just by the way he seemed disturbed and avoided her gaze.

"I'm pretty sure she was talking about what you did…"

"No, she was not," he whispered "she was talking about the real me."

"What?.."

"My real face Natasha," he got exasperated, frustrated and angry. Not at her but at himself "the real me, the one who's hidden and nobody wishes to see."

Then she understood. He was talking about his Jotun side, the Frost Giant part of him, the part that he despises and hates; the part that was tormenting him every day of his life. Her heart cried for him, because he was suffering and breaking and there was nothing left for her to do but to stand there and watch as he suppressed a sob.

"I want to see it" she spoke softly, reaching for his hands and gave them a light squeeze.

"No, Natasha, please…" he looked down again, shaking his head slowly.

"Let me" she begged.

"You will hate me. You will despise me…you will be disgusted."

"Why don't you let me decide, ok?" she walked a few steps towards him, their bodies inches apart. "No matter what happens now, I will always love you."

He closed his eyes and sighed heavily. The sight before her scared her out a little; Loki's face was slowly turning blue, his hands felt cold between hers and ever his breath was colder than she had ever felt it. His eyes fluted open and they were no longer green but blood red. She gasped but didn't move away, her hands reaching to touch his face and he flinched, too embarrassed and ashamed to let her touch him.

But she wanted to do more than that. She wanted to feel his hands on her body, she wanted to kiss him for hours; she wanted to love him until both were too exhausted to move. She wanted him and no one else.

So she moved, slowly but surely and kiss him softly on the lips. Loki moved away, shaking his head and ready to walk away from the room, but she didn't let him. She reached for him, for his face, for his lips; until he couldn't pull away from her and gave in to her kiss showing her how much he wanted this.

His lips were cold but she didn't care. His hands were cold too but she loved the feeling of them travelling through her body. His breath was icy on her neck as he breathes heavily with each thrust. His eyes were blood red and for someone might be scary, but still they show the love he felt for her.

There was nothing different about him. He was still the man she had decided to spend an eternity with.

TBC

Jotun Loki looove.