First, I'd like to thank C.A.M.E.O.1. AND ONLY (I didn't spell that right, but you totally got the theme for that chapter), and Alex McMullen (it's great that we each give each other new ideas, huh?) for staying with this story from the beginning.
Anyways, let's go see how f&%ed up Isane's mind is...
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As the light faded, Rukia began sweating profusely. Not because of the light, though; that didn't seem to have any heat to it. No, she was sweating because of the bomb ticking down from twenty in front of her.
And she had to cut the wire.
"Come on, Kuchiki," Renji's anxious voice came over the radio, "hurry up already; just pick a wire!"
Easy for him to say, she thought as she stared at the veritable forest of wires, all but one would set the bomb off if cut.
The clock was down to sixteen now.
"Come on, Rukia," Kiyone said next to her, "you have to pick one now, otherwise all these people's death will be on your head."
Rukia scanned the room, noticing for the first time all the hostages that were tied up around the room.
Yeah, no pressure. Right.
Twelve seconds now.
"I...," Rukia stammered, "I..."
"Just pick one already!" Tatsuki shouted, making Rukia jump in fright.
Unfortunately, her hand gripped the cutters harder because of it, shearing through one of the many multicolored wires she wasn't suppose to cut.
Fortunately, the clock stopped at one.
Unfortunately, it also began beeping rapidly.
"Well, it was nice knowing you," Ikkaku chimed in.
"Leave a beautiful corpse!" Yumichika said cheerily.
Rukia groaned and closed her eyes, hoping that it would be quick and wondering why Yumichika had to be so weird.
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Rukia didn't feel dead when she cracked open her eye (the right one). In fact, she felt very much alive. Realizing that the bomb must have been a dud, she let out a sigh of relief and opened her eyes the rest of the way.
Suddenly, the "dead" theory didn't seem to far off.
She was sitting in an open field that appeared to stretch on for miles. There was nothing around her save for a few large rocks dotting the landscape here and there. There were also a few trees, but the weird thing was that they looked like they were growing out of the sky. She tried to look at their bases, but no matter where she looked they always seemed to be growing just past the edge of her vision.
"I wouldn't bothah if I were you," a deep, rumbly voice that could've put Mr. T to shame said. "I've been tryin' fo years."
"Wha!" Rukia answered, her eyes darting this way and that to find the source of the voice.
"I'm down here, fool!" the voice said from below her. She looked down and saw a small pink butterfly perched delicately on a rock.
"Oh, hello!" Rukia said cordially.
"You got a Razzle in yo hair," the butterfly said.
"Huh?" Rukia said, before she heard a warbling sound coming from directly above her. She turned to look in the floor-length mirror and saw that she did indeed have a small, furry Razzle nibbling on her hair. "Aahh!" she pointed out. "How do I get this thing off me!"
"Hold still," the butterlfy said, whipping out a full sized RPG launcher. "I pity th' little fool," it said softly as it pulled the trigger. The shell exploded forward, catching the Razzle in its wide, toothy maw. A second or to later it exploded against a nearby brick wall. "You OK?" the butterfly asked once the smoke cleared.
"Geh...," Rukia assured him.
"Good, it didn't get to your brain. That would've been nasty, walkin' around with a bite taken out of your head."
"Geh...," Rukia repeated.
"Well, my work here is done." The butterfly turned to leave. Then he stopped and called back, "And watch out fo fallin' anvils!"
Falling anvils? Rukia wondered, before she noticed one fall on a unawares and rather cartoonish looking coyote. Oh.
Eventually, after a long and grueling three foot walk, she arrived at the Toyota dealership. As she slumped down next to a nearby sleeping bear, she heard what sounded like the beginnings of an argument.
"I told you that we had to turn left!at the inside-out building with the clown nose, not right! Now look were we ended up!" an angry, nasally voice yelled.
"It's not my fault!" a second, more timid voice said. "You were yelling at me, I was confused."
"That doesn't matter!" the first voice retorted hotly. "I'm the only one who's ever made it back from the Land of Rainbows alive, so if you want to get there and slay the horrible sparkly monster, then you'd damn better follow my direction to a 'T', got it?"
Rukia heard the second voice grunt an "Mmhmm" and peared over the edge of the canyon to see who it was. To her surprise, she saw Isane standing next to a street sign.
A very imposing street sign.
"Merge left", to be precise.
"Isane?" Rukia called out.
"Oh," Isane looked up, "hi Rukia! What are you doing here?"
"Honestly," she said, "I have no idea. What about you?"
"Well, I was on my way to the Land of Rainbows, but this handicapped parking sign made me take a wrong turn-" Isane turned and glared hotly at said sign, "It was too! Nothing you said back there made any sense!"
Rukia sweatdropped, quite loudly.
"Oh-kaaaaaay," Rukia drawled, before gesturing to merge left sign (who happened to be wearing a sombrero now) next to her, "and this is..."
"Oh, this is Floyd," Isane explained. "He's taking me to the Land of Rainbows so I can slay this horrible, sparkly monster that's been terrorizing the robot midget zombie pirates." She held up a can of lima beans and a lampshade. "Wanna come along?"
Rukia thought about it for a minute.
"Uh," she finally answered, "watashi wa nien spreken de la Greeko." When she saw the puzzled expression on Isane's face, she said, "Sorry, I didn't quite catch that last thing you said."
"Oh." Isane looked crestfallen before she turned to Floyd and indignantly shouted "I am not!"
Rukia would have sweatdropped again, but the rocking of the boat was too much and she toppled overboard into the cold, Pepsi ocean.
Great, she thought as she grabbed onto a floating piano, as if things could get any worse.
Even as she said that she knew it was a mistake, because suddenly, it started raining hamsters and cellphones.
As Rukia was wishing she were anywhere else, one of the phones began ringing. Having nothing better to do, Rukia decided to answer it.
"Hello?...Um, yes, my refrigerator is running. Why?...I'd better what?" Then she heard a click and the dial tone.
Figures it would be a prank call.
Then, as if by magic, she found the side of the pool and climbed out. As she was blown dry, she spotted the exit. It seemed like it was an amalgamation of various pieces of random junk, with the ever typical red "Exit" sign above it.
Hoping that the next place she ended up would make at least half as much sense as this place did, she slammed it shut and walked into the light.
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OK, by now you should be noticing that I'm not doing movie parodies like I said I would. Instead, my Muse has directed me to to make mind cover a different aspect of dreams. The last one was "someone's inner self". This was "the unpredictability of dreams". The next one is either going to be "wish fulfillment" or "recurring nightmares".
Any preferences?