Disclaimer:- I didn't invent any of the characters that I am going to use in my story. That honour belongs to J.K.Rowling.

N.B I'm aware that Hermione's birthday is in September, but for the purpose of this story I've moved it to early summer.

Thank you to everyone who's reviewed so far. Especially on recent chapters as they've all been lovely and complimentary, or at least not nasty or critical.

Special thanks to tallgiraffe32 who gave me LOADS of reviews, who I'm guessing has only just starting reading. So thank you for choosing to read this, and for reviewing to.

Also thank you to the people that haven't reviewed before (Rum and Coke and shootingstar32), it's always good to have new comments.

And thank you to the people that have been reviewing most of the way - particularly laxgal and T.C.Vincent and TCFellows.

Love you all very much xxxx

Chapter 14 – Realisations

A few weeks later…

Snape sat in the window of his room. Morning was just breaking, and the sun was gradually rising over the mountains, casting a pale peach glow across the valley. A herd of thestrals grazed on a plateau just behind Hagrid's hut, where a faint stream of smoke curled it's way out of the stone chimney. A line of house elves whistled as they made their way back form Hogsmeade to collect groceries. Birds sang in the treetops, and the giant squid floated on the surface of the lake, basking in the morning light.

Snape smiled to himself, and brought his hand to his face to brush away a fallen strand of hair. He passed by his throat by felt the ominous lumps of swollen glands. Quickly his smile faded. Glancing down, he saw the red rash that had begun to appear. It had started as a few blotches on his chest, but now had spread down his arms. Hastily, he tugged down the sleeves of his robe, and mentally reminded himself of his motto, "If you can't see I, it isn't there."

His mind drifted to thoughts of Hermione. She had been attending his lessons for 3 weeks, and had even come on the day of her 16th birthday. Each week the pair had been growing closer. At first the touches had been accidental - a brief brush of the hand as he passed ingredients, and the touch of her hair against his cheek as he lent over her shoulder. She had been shy then, most unlike the previous Hermione he had seen in lessons. She seemed more innocent and … adoring. He believed he saw a longing deep in her hazel eyes, just the same longing he felt in his heart. He was no longer frightened to admit it to himself, in the secrecy of his private thoughts. He had fallen for her, so deeply he mourned the time they spent apart, but as of yet he had been too afraid to tell her.

She had still been a child, but at 16 he finally saw her for the woman that she was becoming. He no longer thought of her as a student, but as an equal. He longed to be able to share the details of his day with her, someone to talk to, to hold and to love, and he hoped against hope that she felt the same.

Recently, he had seen the way her eyes sparkled in the candlelight as she looked at him, as they discussed the newest discoveries, and what they were to do next time. As the sessions went by they sat increasingly closer together, their heads only inches apart. They had smiled together, and laughed together. Snape had been boosting her confidence as he complimented her skills, and each time her cheeks flushed scarlet, and she gazed at him in thanks, a smile across her cherry lips, and Snape had to hold himself back from taking her up into his arms, and kissing her.

As he had lay in bed that night, her face imprinted itself in his mind, and he decided that today would be the day he would tell her. He no longer cared about the list, she was better than that, she deserved better. He didn't want another one-night-stand, but a long-term companion, to share his life with.

But at the back of his mind, he harboured an ever growing fear, not of her acceptance, but of fear of losing her if she ever discovered what he had done over the years that he'd been at Hogwarts, and the fear that if she ever found out the reason why he had been like that, and the fear that she would learn the truth about his condition, and turn away from him. It would shatter his heart, and wound him to the very core of his soul.

He had sent her an owl that morning, asking her if she would like to go out for dinner that night, under the pretence of discussing her career and future plans. He would take her along with side apparition if she accepted.

Tap, tap, tap.

Snape turned his head to see a slight tawny owl, drumming its beak against the window. Tied to its leg was a letter. Snape recognised the hand writing as Hermione's and his heart leapt. Firmly he pulled the casement open, and a gust of wind blew the little owl inside. Frantically he tore the letter from its leg, earning himself a sharp peck on his knuckle. But he didn't care, he just wanted to know what it said.