A/N: Oh my God. The website spazzed out again so I couldn't really update anything. And I was so excited for you guys to read this chapter! I worked really hard on it. I even had to rewrite it a few times. So that made me frustrated. And tonight's episode of iCarly kinda added to the frustration. (I wanted Sam & Freddie to get together somehow!! Gah.) But then I got happier cuz I found out that Wizards got the Emmy Award! (Wow, me and my mood swings.) But I hope you guys like this chapter!!

14. And You Love...

Chad sighed contently as he hungrily ate his usual gourmet food. He could honestly say that he was a satisfied man, a thankful one as well for he had the best girlfriend any guy could imagine. He really couldn't ask for anything else. Sure, people could say that he was being a sap, but it was still the truth nonetheless. Chad has tried to deny to the truth before – it never works out.

Speaking of Alison, where was she? Chad hasn't seen her ever since she left to warn him about her mother. He checked his watch to see that an hour and a half has passed by since her departure. Odd. Alison never misses an opportunity to see him. Did those Randoms hold her captive back at the Prop House or something?

Before Chad could prove his (ridiculous) theory, the cast of So Random arrived, making their way to their usual table. But Alison was not seen anywhere near her friends. It was like she disappeared out of thin air, gone. Where was his girlfriend?!

Chad didn't waste any time. He immediately approached the So Random table, trying to hide his urgent worry underneath his calm stare. "Randoms," he greeted with a nod.

"Pooper," Nico responded. "What do you want?"

"Where's, uh, Alison?" Chad asked, trying to keep his voice steady.

"Aw, is Chaddy-waddy missing his wittle girlfwend?" Tawni teased, earning a round of laughter from her friends. Chad's cheeks burned as he glared at the blonde comedienne in front of him. He kept his posture straight and poised. He wasn't going to give Tawni the satisfaction of humiliating him.

"She went home. She's sick." Zora thankfully answered in between her laughter. "She'll probably be back tomorrow."

"She's sick? Why? Is she okay?" Chad asked a little too quickly.

"Dude, you are way too clingy when it comes to your girlfriends." Grady noted with a raised eyebrow.

Chad's mouth gaped open, completely insulted. "I am not clingy!" he insisted. "And it's not like you would ever get to know the pleasure of actually having a girlfriend." he sneered at Grady, whom was trying his best to stifle his laughter along with his cast mates. "I don't even remember why I came up to you guys in the first place. I'm out." he huffed, storming away.

'Was it wrong to be worried about Alison's well-being when she's your girlfriend? Especially if you love her? No, not at all. Wait, love? Did I just say love?' Chad shook his head. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. 'Do I love her? I've dated for like what…a couple of weeks? You can't fall in love with a person you hardly know that quick, could you?'

Chad entered his dressing room and sat himself down against his chair in front of the vanity. He stared at himself on the mirror and blinked at his reflection. Did he love Alison Monroe? He knew that he cared about her…he cared about her a lot. But did he love her?

'You're being preposterous, Chad. Love? Sure, she makes you unbelievably happy. The fact that she's in the same studio as you gives you the tingles. She's the only girl – actually the only human being – that can make you laugh. And when you kiss her and hold her in your arms, you just have the biggest feeling that you don't ever want to let go…and I haven't felt that way since…Sonny.'

Chad felt a twist in his stomach as he thought about Sonny, the girl who supposedly 'loved' him. He had to admit that the similarities between the two girls were more than just their faces. Their personalities linked with each other as well. He loves Alison for the same reasons he loved Sonny…

'Face it. You love her only because she reminds you of…her. He told himself. Chad felt a stab of guilt. Was he really just dating Alison because she was practically like a cardboard cutout of Sonny? But…I would still love her even if she didn't remind me of her. I would, I really would. So…oh God, you love her!' Chad finally admitted it to himself.

He was in love with Alison Monroe...because she was Alison Monroe? Yes, he loves her for who she is, not because she constantly reminded him of his first love. Anyways, there was a significant difference between the two that proves Chad's true love for Alison. Sonny left him. Alison will always stay by his side. And that's why he loves her so dearly. …Right?

Right.

The blonde actor smiled inwardly. Love. It was a feeling that he enjoyed savoring. It was the greatest feeling a person could possibly feel. When you feel like you're soaring up in the skies, almost touching the sun. Love. Chad Dylan Cooper was in love. He almost even forgot what love felt like. He couldn't remember how good it felt until now. Love. Oh sweet, sweet love.

Chad inhaled a deep breath with a smile. He sunk into the depths of his chair and grinned boyishly down at his lap. It was almost like going through a child's first elementary school crush – you just couldn't get enough of it. Love love love. Oh, Chad could repeat it over and over again. He was in looovvveee.

"Somebody's happy." Portlyn strolled in with a sing-song voice. Chad completely ignored her presence, not even realizing that she entered the room. Portlyn smirked and raised her eyebrows, part amused and part amazed. "Wow, you must be really happy. What? No: 'Portlyn, get out!' or 'Don't you ever learn how to knock?!' or—"

"Oh, hey, Port. When did you come in?" Chad asked, finally acknowledging her.

Portlyn smiled in response. "Oh God. Alison must really have you whipped." she giggled teasingly.

Chad frowned, his simple stare turning into a small glare. "Okay, first the Randoms start shouting to the world that I'm this clingy boyfriend –which I'm not." Chad stated seriously before Portlyn could say anything. "And now here you are, assuming that I'm whipped? Next thing I'll know, people will start saying that I'm like this…this…"

"Pushover of a boyfriend?" Portlyn offered with a laugh.

But Chad didn't laugh in return. Last time he was titled as a 'pushover of a boyfriend' was two years ago when he dated Sonny. Oh no, he wasn't going to make that mistake again. He made Sonny too happy, getting nothing in return. …Even though her happiness brought immense joy to him… But he wasn't going to redo his 'Chad Cooper' days. That was the absolute last thing he was going to do. Nope, he was Chad Dylan Cooper – Alison Monroe's boyfriend. Not a pushover.

'You're thinking too much about her again! Knock it off! You have Alison! Now that you have her, don't start thing about Sonny!' Chad almost gasped as he mentally scolded himself. He's never spoken, or even thought of Sonny's name without being hesitant. Her name made his skin crawl (but warmed his heart). Her image ignited an intense flame within him (and a calm wave of serenity). Just the thought of her made him want to rock himself in a little ball and cry (wishing that he was still hers).

'You love Alison. You love Alison. YOU LOVE ALISON.' he practically screamed inside. 'Then why are you now thinking of Sonny?' another voice asked.

Love. It was a frustrating thing. The moment when Chad finally realizes he loves Alison…he begins to miss Sonny. He wonders if it's because she was his first love. Maybe his heart just wasn't ready to replace his first love? But his mind was ready. His body was ready. Every aspect of him was ready. Though, his heart was still confused.

Chad thought he converted himself into a Sonny Monroe hater. He thought that his love for her vanished away a long time ago – since he landed here in California. He wasn't supposed to return loving her again, especially since he has a better and more trustworthy girlfriend…whom he happens to love as well?

'You love ALISON and only ALISON!'

"What? You love Alison?" Portlyn asked with a wide smile.

Chad bit his lip, realizing that he accidentally thought that aloud. "Y-yes. I – I do. I really do." he muttered sheepishly after a short moment.

"I knew it! I knew it!" Portlyn squealed. "Ha, in your face, Chad! I'm right once again!" she announced proudly.

But Portlyn's cheer didn't annoy Chad. No it worried him. Portlyn was always right. Always always always. And wasn't Portlyn the one who assumed that his Alison was also…Sonny?

He had to confess: it made sense. But was he going to believe it? Heck no. Never. Not even when the sun blows up and destroys the world. Alison was his girlfriend now, his girlfriend whom he loves. Sonny…well she's just a part of his past.

Portlyn had to be wrong on this one. She just had to.

After Chad made it obvious that he needed alone time to himself, Portlyn exited his room reluctantly and made her way over to the cafeteria. She saw the So Random group still at their table, exchanging sketches as their terrible food laid untouched on their plates. Portlyn ignored them and skipped over to the lunch line.

"Okay, because Sonny is sick that means we have to work a little bit harder. I mean, the audience still adores me, but they love Sonny too so we have to be a teensy bit funnier in our sketches." Tawni instructed with a hair flip, hinting subtly that the rating and view count could pummel down because of the absence of the fans' favorite Random.

"Poor Sonny. I wonder what's wrong with her." Grady said.

"Yeah, she's been getting these weird headaches. I think it's Chad's fault—" Tawni began.

"Why?" Zora interrupted her blonde cast mate.

Tawni gave her youngest costar an annoyed look and continued on. "—since Chad is just such a natural displeasure. But who knows? Maybe the pressure of Hollywood is finally hitting her. Whatever she had, she definitely needed to be sent home."

"Poor Sonny," Grady repeated.

'Sonny. Sonny? What?' Portlyn thought confusedly.

"Sonny? Monroe…Chad…pictures…" she murmured underneath her breath.

"Miss Murray, you're holding up the line." Someone called out.

Portlyn snapped out of her thoughts and continued to move down the line. She looked down at her tray with a puzzled look on her face. Was she right all along?

Out of curiosity, Portlyn joined her rival's table, earning herself a look of shock from just about everybody in the commissary. Portlyn cleverly ignored the stares and offered plastic smiles to the cast whom she hated so greatly. Of course, So Random didn't buy it, but they were too busy giving her an astonish gaze for them to roll their eyes or scoff knowingly.

"Hey, guys!" she greeted.

"What do you want?" Tawni asked instantly.

Portlyn strictly refrained herself from shooting something harsh back. "I just have a few questions for you guys…" she stated simply.

"Well ask so you can leave." Tawni said arrogantly.

The soap star took in a deep breath, trying her best to stop herself from attacking Tawni. "So what's the deal with Alison? Chad really misses her. The guy is so whipped." she laughed.

"She's sick. She'll hopefully be back soon." Tawni replied with a shrug. "So can you go now?" she smiled a fake grin of her own.

"Sick? Why is she sick?"

"Why are you so nosy?"

Portlyn couldn't take anymore. Tawni Hart just stared yet another war. "Why does your hair look dead?" Portlyn snapped back.

"Why does your face look implanted?" Tawni seethed.

"Why do the magazines tend to overlook your so called talent and go straight to Alison Monroe?"

"Why do you try to be Chad's friend when he obviously hates you?"

Both girls felt pain aching inside of themselves. They both hit their most sensitive spot, making each other vulnerable. They weren't going to take it. They were not ending this war with a loss.

"Well…why don't you have a boyfriend? Oh, I know! Because you're not pretty!" Portlyn retorted.

Tawni gasped while they eyes of So Random widened. Now that definitely drew the line. "Why you little—"

"Guys, help me." a weak panting voice called out, stopping Tawni before she verbally abused Portlyn.

Everyone turned to find Sonny leaning against the door to the commissary, looking as if she was about to faint. Tawni's mouth dropped, and she immediately ran over to her friend, trying to assist her. The rest of their cast mates hurried towards Sonny, helping her as well.

"Sonny, what are you doing here?! You're supposed to be home!" Tawni scolded motherly.

"I – I – Chad. Where's Chad?" Sonny breathed out.

"What? Why do you need to speak to Chad of all people during this time? What you need to do is go home! Just call him or something! You didn't have to travel all the way back here just to see him! God, what is wrong with you?!" Tawni exclaimed incredulously.

"I need to see Chad." Sonny whined, her eyes watering. "Please, just let me see Chad." she pleaded.

Her friends stepped away from Sonny, a mixture of surprise and confusion in their eyes. They couldn't understand why their friend was just so desperate to see her boyfriend. Sonny truly looked like she was close to bawling her eyes out. And as much as they wanted to decline her wish, they didn't think they could handle her tears.

"Why do you need to see Chad so badly?" Tawni almost whispered. She willed herself to give Sonny a strange look, but all that came out was sympathy.

"I – I just n-need to!" Sonny wailed, choking back a sob. "Please, let me see him. I'll do anything, just take me to him."

"Sonny, you're really weak right now. I don't think that's a good thing." Nico said, grabbing her arm once she began to lean down.

"I'm fine. I just need to see Chad." Sonny whispered, bringing her hand to her forehead. She rubbed her head in circles, trying to cease the pain that was beginning to pound mercilessly inside. "Chad," she muttered as she began to fall onto the floor.

Her friends caught her before her body made contact with the tiles underneath. "Sonny, you seriously need to go home. I think I should call your mom—" Tawni said worriedly.

"No! Don't call her! Don't ever, ever call her!" Sonny snapped furiously.

Tawni was taken back. She has never known Sonny as an explosive person. She gave her friend a sad look, knowing that there was something unbearable that was bothering her. Tawni bent down so she met Sonny's level and gave her a concerned frown. Sonny brought her eyes down, wiping the tears that were rolling down her eyes.

"I'm sorry it's just…" Sonny couldn't even explain what was wrong with her. Instead, she looked at her friends urgently, hoping wishing that they would just take her to her boyfriend. "I need to see Chad." she said, not bothering to finish her previous sentence.

"Sonny…" Tawni whined.

"Um, I'll take you to him." Portlyn offered in a small voice.

All eyes except for Sonny's burned a hole inside of the Mackenzie Falls actress. They all gave her the look of death, mentally warning her if she even dares to interrupt one more time, she'll truly get it. But Portlyn dismissed the stares and gave Sonny a tiny grin, knowing that what she was about to do was for the best. Plus, she didn't think she could handle Sonny's tears as well.

Sonny smiled in gratitude and allowed Portlyn to wrap an arm underneath her shoulders. "Thank you," she mouthed, her eyes still watery.

"Murray, you really shouldn't take her to Chad. Can't you see that Sonny is tired? She needs to be at her house in her bed. I'm taking her home." Tawni gritted through her teeth, grabbing Sonny's arm and tugging her back.

"Don't be difficult, Hart. Obviously Sonny – I mean Alison wants to see Chad. I'll be the good friend and actually take her to him." Portlyn replied icily, pulling Sonny back.

"Guys, stop before I actually faint this time." Sonny said in a weary voice. Tawni and Portlyn released their hold on her, causing Sonny to collapse.

"Sonny!" Tawni screeched, reaching out for her.

"I'm fine. I just need Chad," Sonny groaned. "I need to see Chad." she repeated for the umpteenth time.

Tawni frowned and sighed, defeated. "Fine," she whispered. "Take her to Chad." she whispered unwillingly as she stared at Portlyn. Portlyn nodded and linked her arm in between Sonny's, leading her to stage two.

Portlyn felt her insides aching, her gut yelling at her.

She was right about Alison and Sonny. She had to be right.