A/N: Hey everyone, it's Chelsinator! This is just an easy going chapter and I hope you enjoy it! We don't own Glee or the boys and some chapters contain Mature content that may be triggering. BE SURE TO REVIEW :D
(********************)
Jeff stirred in his sleep and rolled over, nearly falling off the bed. He'd forgotten that they'd moved to Nick's room, he peered over the edge of the bed at his still sleeping boyfriend on the floor and leaned down to brush a soft kiss to his forehead. When Nick still didn't wake up, Jeff grabbed his phone.
6 Missed Calls:
David (3)
Thad (2)
Aaron (1)
2 SMS
Fr Thad: Jeff, bud we need to talk. I'm so, so sorry for last night. I don't know what happened! Meet later and talk it out? I hope you and Nick are okay…
Fr Sebastian: So. David said I had to apologise to you both, it's not like I said anything that wasn't true but whatevs. Talk next time I see you, 'kay? Say hi to Nicky boy for me ;P
Warm arms wrapped themselves around Jeff's waist from behind and he handed his boyfriend his phone.
"I don't know what to say to them…"
Nick closed his eyes. He had completely forgotten what he had done with Thad.
"The best you can do is talk to them." Nick placed a kiss on Jeff's shoulder.
Jeff wrapped his good arm around himself protectively, still shaken from his nightmare in the night. He was normally so forgiving… normally the pushover of the group…
"W-what if I don't want to, Nicky. He kissed you. And you know what Sebastian said to me…"
"I-I Know Jeff. But please try to keep in mind. Everyone was under the influence of alcohol. And I kissed Thad back." Nick shuddered, he only had one drink that night too.
Jeff bit his lip and thought for a minute, Thad had always been a good friend and he really didn't want to lose him over this, he nodded slowly, "I'll talk to Thad… but I don't want to speak to Sebastian. He isn't sorry, Nicky. You know he isn't."
Nick closed his eyes and thought for a minute. "I can speak to him if you like?" Nick said.
Nick looked down at Jeff's hand and almost forgot the ring he placed on one of Jeff's beautiful fingers. He blushed slightly.
Jeff sighed and looked down at the ring, smiling as he spun it around, "You don't have to do that. He just doesn't like me for whatever reason… I'm just getting a little sick of his sarcastic comments." Suddenly Jeff blushed, remembering something, "Oh God…" He groaned, "Last night! I - I mean I tried to…" Colour drained from his face, "God… I'm so sorry Nicky!"
Nick cupped Jeff's face.
"We just weren't ready." He said, placing a gentle kiss on Jeff's nose he then placed their cheeks together. "We'll know when we are ready…" He whispered.
Jeff's breathing slowed down and he nodded, glad Nick wasn't mad at him, he looked down at his phone screen and tapped out a message to Thad.
To Thad: I'm not angry, I'm just confused. What was that Thad? I'll meet you later for coffee.
Jeff looked up at Nicky questioningly, "Does that sound okay?"
Nick nodded. Of course it was okay. "It's fine. Do you have a hangover at all? You drank a lot."
Jeff rubbed at his temples and nodded irritably, "My stomachs fine, but I've got a killer headache, I didn't get much sleep. I probably deserve it though… I did some ridiculous things last night. Did I -" A though suddenly occurred to him, "Did I hurt your arm yesterday?"
Nick forgot all about it. It wasn't insanely sore but it hurt a bit. Nick believed it was the way he was laying until Jeff reminded him. He nodded. "But it's alright now." He said.
Jeff groaned again and hid his head in Nick's shoulder, "I'm sorry, Nicky… I didn't mean to. God, I was horrible yesterday." He sat down on the bed, taking Nicky with him, and curled up under the covers with him, bodies pressed close together to fit in the single bed, "I don't know how you put up with me…"
"You completed me. I love you, you are no burden. Please understand that." Nick replied hugging his boyfriend.
Jeff curled into the embrace, hugging his boyfriend back hard, "I'll try to," He murmured, "I should probably get up and go and talk to Thad. Would you… I mean I know I said that you didn't need to… but would you maybe talk to Sebastian for me? I know that it's just the way he is… but I don't need any more nightmares like last night and sometimes the things that he says…" Jeff trailed off, embarrassed.
"Of course Jeffie." Nick smiled. How could he refuse? Nick always accepted favours, sometimes he just couldn't say no.
Jeff smiled softly and after getting dressed quickly and sharing a gentle kiss at the doorway they split off in opposite directions to find the two Warblers, Jeff found himself outside David and Thad's door, he hesitated for a second before knocked. David answered and instantly Jeff found himself swept up in a bone crushing hug.
"You okay, Jeff?" He asked, his voice full of concern, "I laid into Thad and Seb for you." He glanced over his shoulder and lowered his voice, "Go easy on him though, okay mate? He feels horrible."
Jeff nodded slightly and David backed out of the room to give them some space. Jeff stared at Thad, sat slumped in his computer chair and bit his lip. Suddenly unsure what to say,
"So, what happened, Thad." He asked, not unkindly, "Why did you kiss him like that?"
(*********************)
After parting with Jeff, Nick started running for Seb's single room. Before knocking on the door, he had to fix his skinny jeans up because they were halfway down his bottom. He knocked impatiently.
"Hmm Nick. I knew it was only a matter of time before you came back to me" Sebastian smirked on entering the door.
Nick tried hard to not growl at how disgusted he was in Sebastian. "What's your problem?" Before Sebastian could speak, Nick started again. "You weren't like this before and during our relationship! I would liked to have been your friend but it seems you have another thought with Jeff."
Nick was letting his anger out. He hit his leg a couple of times before Sebastian stopped him and said "You stopped doing that when we were together and promised to never do it again." Sadness in his heart.
Nick's eyes widened. He and Sebastian planned a lot of things together, they made promises too. Even for if they broke up. "Please, get along with Jeff and I will hang around you more, I miss our friendship." Nick whispered. Nick didn't know what to do or think when Sebastian leaned forward. It was only for a gentle kiss on the cheek, nothing seductive.
"I can't promise that" He said emotionlessly and slammed the door in Nick's face.
(**********************)
Thad didn't say anything, "Well?" Jeff demanded, his voice softened, "Look Thad… I don't want to be mad at you. But you made out with my boyfriend in front of me. And you weren't drunk, I know that because you never get drunk at those parties. You more than any of the Warblers knows what I'm going through at the minute. What did I ever do to deserve that, Thaddeus?"
Thad winced at the usage of his full name and he looked up, "I'm so sorry, Jeff. I've been so confused lately and I didn't know what to do. You, Nick and Seb are the only gay Warblers and I couldn't make out with Seb… you know what he's like."
Jeff raised his eyebrow, having a hard time accepting this excuse, "So you made out with Nick, right in front of my face because you were confused? No. I'm sorry Thad but no. I was fucking confused! You didn't see me making out with guys left right and centre!" Jeff took a deep breath not wanting to shout, "Did you even work out what you were hoping for?"
Thad nodded slowly, "I think… I think I might be gay. But I just don't know. I'm so sorry Jeff!" He really did sound distraught, Jeff nodded sharply, but sat on the bed next to his friend.
"I know how hard this is, Thad. And I'm always here if you need to talk. But if you touch my boyfriend again then that's it. I'm so scared of losing him… I don't know what I'd do if I did."
Thad took Jeff's hand awkwardly, brushing his fingers over the promise ring - that was new - he looked at Jeff sadly, "Anyone with half a brain can see that you two were meant for each other, mate. That kiss didn't mean anything to him."
Jeff nodded gratefully and got up, "I'll see you around, Thad." He smiled before leaving. He just wanted to find Nicky.
(*****************************)
Nick started jogging down the hall. He skid to a stop when he almost ran into Jeff.
"How'd it go" he question gleefully.
Jeff bit his lip and steadied himself on Nick, "He said he was just confused… and he didn't want to kiss Sebastian to work himself out. I told him that, that didn't make it okay but that I was there if he needed to talk." He shifted nervously before meeting his boyfriend's dark eyes, "He also said the kiss didn't mean anything to you. How did it go with Sebastian?"
Nick shrugged. "He listened. But I doubt he will follow through what said " That was true but he wanted to steer from subject, he hit himself and that meant bad news if Jeff found out.
Jeff nodded nervously… he'd never really been bullied before, not by anyone other than his own family, but that was how Sebastian made him feel. He stood lost in thought for a moment, twirling his ring around his finger, wondering what he'd would do if Sebastian continued being the way he was towards him. He was so preoccupied that he didn't notice when Nick started speaking to him.
"Jeff…. You listening?" Nick smiled at how suddenly his boyfriend snapped out of his thoughts. "I was thinking… If… If Sebastian plays nice, would it be okay if I were friends with him?"
Jeff's heart tore in two, Sebastian hated him. He hadn't even told Nick some of the more cruel things he'd said. And they were ex's… he didn't want to lose Nicky. One the other hand, Nick needed all of the friends he could get - what did it matter if he had to put but with Sebastian being a dick to him. He's put up with worse at home. He smiled and hoped Nick wouldn't notice how forced it was.
"Of course, Nicky." He said, his voice strained, "You know I'd never tell you who you could and couldn't be friends with."
"i just want everything to be okay" he whispered, thinking in his head. His thought broke when Jeff handed Nick his phone. It was a text from Seb and it was unread. After reading it he didn't know whether to smile or not. It read : look after nicky boy, or someone else will.
Jeff shrugged, "I get texts off him a lot. He still really likes you, Nicky. I imagine he's a good friend, if he doesn't hate your guts." He muttered the last part dejectedly.
Nick pulled Jeff in for a hug. "He doesn't hate you, he is jealous of you. I can't understand why, if I were him id be jealous of me. Look who I am dating."
Jeff buried into his boyfriends warm embrace, "He keeps telling me that I'm not good enough for you… he's right." He whispered. "What do you want to do today, Nicky?"
"How bout we get a coffee? Although I'll get tea because I can't actually drink coffee. But its not about the money we spend but the time we use." he placed a kiss on Jeff's nose and laced their fingers together. Even though he knew Jeff wasn't public about it.
Jeff froze for a second before tightening his grip on Nick's hand. Then he stopped, pulling Nick to a halt beside him. He hadn't left campus since the incident, he turned wide, scared eyes on Nick and hoped that he understood.
"I understand." He whispered. "Would you like to come to my dorm, I will make you coffee?"
Jeff bit down on his lip, hard, catching Nicky's disproving look he stopped, "I just… It's not that I don't want to get off campus… and you don't deserve to be stuck here just because of me… it's just that the last time-" He looked down, refusing he meet, Nick's eyes, "I'm scared, Nicky."
Nick hugged Jeff. "I understand. I want you to know I am willing to stay with you. Anytime . Any day."
Jeff shook his head, "No. Come on, let's go."
Nick was blown away at sudden strength Jeff had as he pulled Nick along. They reached the Lima Bean and Nick took and paid for the orders.
Jeff frowned at the coffee in front of them, "You need to stop paying for everything, Nicky. I have money," He reached out and grabbed Nick's hand, "Speaking of which, do you want to finally get that clothes shopping done today?"
Nick nodded. Of course he actually wasn't going to buy any clothes, he would gladly go.
"I don't mind paying…. Do you want anything to eat as well?"
Jeff shook his head, he hadn't been hungry lately, "Nah, I'm okay…" He groaned, "I fucking hate clothes shopping, Nicky. Why the hell did they have to destroy all of my clothes? What did that even achieve?"
Nick shrugged his shoulders. What did any of that really achieve? "Have you received any texts…. From Jake…?"
Jeff froze and took his hand out of Nick's to cover his phone, almost subconsciously, "No. Nothing. I guess they just don't want to know…" He murmured, cursing that he couldn't lie.
Nick had his hand opened, gesturing that Jeff should give him the phone, but Jeff was some what reluctant. Nick shot him a confused look.
"Nicky…" Jeff shifted uncomfortably, "You don't need to see. The things he says are pretty vile…" He sighed and handed Nick his phone, "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you."
Nick was disgusted. He almost crushed the cup holding his tea with his bare hand.
"Ignore his texts. " He said plainly.
"I have been doing," Jeff sighed quietly, "But he just keeps sending them. Are you mad at me Nicky?"
Nick shook his head. "Not you…" He said. "…me" he whispered quietly, certain Jeff didn't hear.
"You?" Jeff was incredulous, "You never did anything! This is all on me and Jake, Nicky… never on you."
Nick flinched at the words thrown at him. Maybe Nick had a mental illness like Trent, one that caused home to believe everything was his fault. "Shall we go shopping?" He whispered.
Jeff nodded, sadly. He wished he could make Nick understand…
Nick and Jeff made their way to the shop in no time. Jeff was trying things on but Nick could get the thought that perhaps he did have a mental illness.
Jeff came out of the changing rooms, throwing a pare of bright violet skinny jeans on the "yes" pile. He turned to his boyfriend who was lost in thought, his brow furrowed. Sighing he cast a quick glance around to make sure no one was there and pressed soft kisses to his forehead, trying to smooth out the worry lines.
"I know what you're thinking, Nicky. You're not mad."
Nick sighed. "I was just wondering if maybe… I have a…." He certainly wasn't comfortable saying this out loud. He lowered his head and twiddled his fingers.
Jeff nodded and wrapped his arms tightly around his boyfriend, "I know honey. But you don't, I honestly don't think that you do… we're just both dealing with a lot at the minute." Nick relaxed into his grip and Jeff smiled slightly, "Now. Violet or Red skinny's?"
Nick thought. Then started laughing hysterically. "Red goes faster" He said with a wink.
Jeff grinned, happy Nick was laughing, "Well there is that." He allowed. The blonde eyed the small pile of clothes critically, "Do you think that's enough?"
It wasn't. Nowhere near, Jake and his dad had destroyed almost everything he owned, but he hated clothes shopping…
Nick thought long and hard. Of course it wasn't enough. "You can borrow some of mine when or if you need to." He said, helping Jeff collect the pile. "If I do have one… will you still love me?"
Jeff nodded, respecting his boyfriend by matching his off hand tone, "Of course I will. But I really don't think that you do. You can go have a check up if you're worried though."
"I hate hospitals."
Jeff nodded and grabbed his boyfriends hand, for once not caring that they were in public, "I know that you do, honey… but if you don't go then you'll never know. And I know you Nick, you'll worry yourself sick."
"I can't afford it anyway…" Nick closed his eyes and warmed to Jeff's touch.
"I promise I wont worry much.."
"I can though…" Jeff looked down, "Look, Nicky. I know how you feel about charity but this isn't charity! You're my boyfriend and I love you and I know that you're okay but I need you to know that. Besides you paid for me when I was in hospital. I was pretty doped up on painkillers but don't think that I didn't catch that."
"No.. .no Jeff don't worry." They reached the checkout, the lady eying them suspiciously.
"It's just, I have bad anger. My mood changes frequently and I hurt myself. Some sort of mental illness has to be in order."
The woman snorted, she was clearly eavesdropping. It just made Nick feel worse about himself
Jeff heard the woman's derisive snort and felt an unfamiliar feeling of rage bubbling up inside him, he barely had a moment to remember how much he hated confrontation before he was swinging around to face her.
"Excuse me?" He asked, his voice icy and unforgiving, "Do you have a problem?"
Nick's eyes widened at the tone of his boyfriends voice.
"Well," The woman started, "Sounds like someone has personality disorder. Probably started when you chose to be gay!"
Nick shuddered at the comment.
Jeff squeezed his boyfriend's hand, "We didn't choose to be gay you interfering bitch. It's just something we are." He cocked his head and glanced at her ringless hand, "Huh." He sneered, "You're, what? Forty-six, Forty-seven? No wedding ring. Interesting." He leaned in and pulled his credit card out of the machine, grabbing the bag of newly paid for clothes with his good hand and handing them to Nick, "Now you listen here you fucking harpy. I love this boy more than anything in the world and I will not have people like you talking shit to him. Especially when you've obviously never been in love in your life. Just fuck off and mind your own business, okay? Come on Nick."
He pulled the shocked boy out of the shop and kept going until they were far enough away, he leant heavily against a wall, starting to hyperventilate. "Oh God, Nicky… I started a fight. I was so mean. God, Nick, I'm sorry. She just…." He trailed off panting, he was panicking.
"Jeff calm down and breathe" Nick was shocked but Jeff need reassuring everything was fine.
Jeff looked up and drew his boyfriend into a bone crushing hug, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have started a fight like that in the middle of the shop. But no one gets to talk to you like that, Nicky. No one."
Nick struggled his breath in the hug. "You mustn't worry about me ever…" Nick said.
"I'm hardly worth it."
"Shut up." Jeff growled into his shoulder, "You're worth that and more. And I'll always worry about you. Are you telling me that you wouldn't have said anything if she'd been talking about me like that?"
"I…. Just, don't get hurt because of me." He whispered, grabbing his boyfriend's hand, they started walking to the car.
Jeff chuckled weakly, "Oh please… even I could take her."
Nick refused to let go of Jeff's hand. He was a little shaken up. "What's personality disorder?"
"Honestly, I'm not sure honey. But it doesn't sound as bad as a mental health issue… you should maybe look into it? Though I still don't think there's anything wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with getting angry, I just did. I called a strange a bitch," The word felt funny coming from his mouth, "God… I know she was being vile, but I was perhaps overly harsh."
"I'm with you all the way." He whispered laying his head on Jeff's chest.
Jeff nodded, hugging Nick to him, slightly awkwardly, he hissed not for the first time and rapped his knuckles against the bright blue cast, "I know I say it at least once a day, but I can't wait to get this bloody thing off."
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