Disclaimer: Not mine…

A/N: Thank you for reading & for your reviews! I know last chapter seemed repetitive, but…well, just read this one and you'll see. We're moving forward! :-D Does anyone here watch "The Vampire Diaries"? I tried to watch that weeklong takeover on the CW but I just couldn't get into it. Something about the main guy just does not sit well with me…

I hope the length of this chapter makes up for the repetitive last chapter. There's a lot said in this chapter. Hope everyone can keep up. :- )

Music for this chapter: Keep Holding On –Avril Lavigne, Happy –Leona Lewis, Time For Miracles –Adam Lambert, Never Say Never –The Fray

Chapter 13

BPOV

March 10th

"Edward! Edward, wait!"

I froze with my hand outstretched in front of me looking at the wide open door that he had just disappeared out of. He was running away from me…running away from us. The last time he did this, it took him weeks before he magically showed up on my doorstep in Forks. I wasn't going to let him run away again. I moved to run out the door but I was caught by Dr. Clare.

"Let him cool down Bella. He's overwhelmed right now."

"But he's running away again! I can't let him do that!" I cried.

"Bella, please, sit down," Dr. Meyer encouraged.

I looked at her, the battle raging in my head of whether or not I should listen to her or if I should go after Edward. The look on her face told me that I should listen to her. Dr. Clare appeared to be giving me the same look. I sighed heavily and turned my gaze away from the open door and turned and sat back down on the couch. Dr. Clare went to close the door and rejoined us quickly.

"I think I am going to head back up to Peoria, Stephenie. I'll give you an update on Edward should I hear from him."

I saw Dr. Meyer nod, and I couldn't stop my eyes from prickling. What if Edward disappeared without a trace again? What if he really was done with all of this? NO! He said he wanted to be with you Bella!

"Bella? Bella?"

I jumped in surprise and turned to look at Dr. Clare. She smiled slightly at me and extended her hand to me. I took it gently and she smiled wider.

"I'm sorry the first meeting didn't quite go as planned. Edward will come around. You heard him yourself…he wants to be with you. Both of your pasts have been extremely difficult, but I have faith you two can do this. Don't give up on him or yourself."

"Thank you Dr. Clare," I said softly.

"See you soon Bella. Stephenie…"

And with that, Dr. Clare stepped out of the office. I sighed as Dr. Meyer smiled apologetically at me.

"Wasn't quite what you were expecting was it?"

I bit my lip, "Well…I…I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but I figured it would be me who would run out and not be able to handle Edward's past and hearing about all the women he's been with. I didn't think he would run away."

"Why didn't you think he would run?"

"I…well, he knows about James and I've told him about it all, but like I said, he doesn't really know what happened after James died. He didn't see how…how broken I was, how utterly convinced I was that it was my fault and that I didn't deserve love."

"You've never told him about any of this?"

I shook my head, "Not really…maybe just bits and pieces. He knows about my nightmares and stuff…but yeah, nothing really about my past. I figured it would come up in our group meetings. I didn't think he'd run."

"Group sessions can be overwhelming. From what I've gathered, Edward is the type who has kept many emotions bottled up inside. To him, sharing these feelings and emotions may seem weak to him, something he probably doesn't want to seem to you."

"He's told me about his past! I know about Tanya and he broke down in front of me! Why would he be scared of looking weak in front of me?" I was completely confused by what Dr. Meyer was saying. I was pretty sure I had seen Edward at one of his weakest points.

"Bella, he said that he was scared of you realizing how similar he is to James. It seems to me, that he considers his womanizing past his weakest point, and he is scared for you to see that part of him. He is scared that he is going to hurt you and so he decided to run away instead to try and spare you from his hurt."

"But doesn't he know that running away only hurts me!" I cried.

"Bella, you ran away here to Phoenix. Did that hurt him?"

My mouth was opening and closing but nothing was coming out. I didn't know what to say. Dr. Meyer totally had me there. I did run away to Phoenix because I didn't know how to deal with everything. I abandoned him when he needed me and I ran away from him. I slowly nodded.

"He said he wants to be with me…" I whispered, the wheels in my head starting to turn, "I can't let him run away."

"Do you still want to be with him Bella?"

I nodded. Dr. Meyer sighed, "Bella, I'm not so sure what Edward is going to do. I highly doubt he is going to leave Arizona. I don't see him doing something that drastic. I will talk to Dr. Clare, but my suggestion for you is don't give up on him. Let him know that you still want to be with him."

"Okay," I whispered.

"Bella, well, I will see you again on the 12th okay?"

I nodded and slowly left the office. Before starting up my car and heading home I tried Edward on his cell. It went straight to his voicemail. I sent him a text instead asking him to please call me. I could only hope that he would listen.

March 12th

"You're mine Bella. Your precious little Edward can't save you."

"He…he…"

"He what? You're mine Bella! I claimed you!"

I screamed as James circled around me, inching closer and closer. I spun and tried to follow him, but ended up becoming dizzy, unable to tell which image was really him. We were surrounded by mirrors and James continued to circle and laugh menacingly at me.

"Edward!" I cried out.

"Oh yes, call for your precious, little Edward!" James snarled, "He left you Bella! He doesn't want someone who's been touched by another man! He doesn't want some damaged freak! You're no good for him Bella!"

I screamed as James was suddenly in face and gripping my cheeks, "You'll always be mine Bella. Alw-"

James' body was suddenly ripped away from mine and it went soaring through one of the mirrors and into the darkness behind it. Edward was in front of me breathing heavily. His hair was a chaotic mess and his face seemed set in a menacing snarl as he crouched down. He turned suddenly and cupped my cheeks, his eyes pitch black.

"Bella…" he said softly, "I'm sorry…"

I was about to speak but I saw James coming back through the broken mirror from the darkness.

"Edward! He's coming back!"

Edward whirled around and pushed me behind him, snarling. "Stay away from her!"

James just laughed, "Why bother Edward? She doesn't deserve any man's love!"

I could feel the tears prickling in my eyes and I heard Edward roar loudly before he was gone from in front of me and suddenly pinning James against a mirror.

"Edward!" I cried out.

"She deserves more than you can imagine!" Edward snarled. I cried out as James seemed to overcome Edward and sent him flying across this room full of mirrors and had him pinned against the opposite side, his hand around Edward's neck. I screamed and tried to run, but I seemed rooted to the spot and neither seemed to hear me.

"You think you can save her? You're not strong enough to save her. I'll always be here, you're not any stronger than she is."

"I'm strong enough to kill you," Edward growled.

I screamed for Edward as he kicked James in the stomach and sent him flying. I cringed and it was like watching two jungle cats go for each other's throats. I was still rooted to my spot as they tumbled around me crashing through mirrors, the sound of their bodies colliding sounding like boulders smashing into each other. Edward managed to get behind James and knock him to his knees, wrapping his arms around his neck. I gasped when I heard the loud snap and saw Edward throw James' limp body to the ground. Edward stood up straight and was breathing hard, his shoulders heaving. He met my eyes and I gasped again, his eyes still a haunting pitch black.

Edward snapped his eyes shut and sighed heavily. When he opened them again slowly, they had returned back to their emerald green color. I could feel the tears pouring down my cheeks as Edward slowly started to walk forward. With each step the dark, mirror filled room began to slip away into the meadow in the back of the dog park where Edward and I had first met. Soon Edward was standing in front of me, the sun shinning on the both of us.

"He's gone Bella…"

I woke with a start, gasping heavily, the wetness on my cheeks, very real. I hastily began to wipe away the tears that trickled down my cheeks. That dream was completely new. I let my head fall back heavily onto my pillow as I tried to make sense of everything. If Dr. Meyer was right, our dreams told us the thoughts that we didn't dare to say out loud. I wasn't sure what my dream meant.

Edward had run away from us, and had yet to return any of my calls or text messages, but there he was protecting me in my dream. He even killed James and told me that he was gone. I felt oddly safer and…lighter despite the tears I woke up in. I glanced at the clock and it said that it was 11:14am. I was suddenly struck with a strong urge to go somewhere. I quickly stumbled out of bed and rushed my way through my morning routine. As I got dressed, the more I felt like this was a good idea. I had to do this. I wouldn't truly be free until I did.

The strength I seemed to find after waking from my dream seemed to be dissipating at a rapid rate with every step I took. I hadn't been here since I was nearly 18 years old. I tripped over my nervous feet as I got closer. When I finally got to my destination, I let out a loud breath I didn't realize I had been holding. I took another deep breath before I spoke.

"I'm not yours James."

My voice shook slightly as I stood in front of James' grave. I hadn't been here since his funeral, but I knew I had to face him. I took a few moments before I got my breathing under control.

"I was never yours. I thought I loved you just because you were my boyfriend…but you weren't really even that were you? You just used me to make yourself feel superior to someone, to control someone."

I took another deep breath. I could feel the tears prickling in my eyes, but I was determined to not let them spill over.

"You shouldn't have lied. You should have gotten the help you needed James like I thought you were. Your decisions were not my fault."

I felt one tear spill over and roll down my cheek.

"Edward…Edward has helped me see that I never loved you. And you're wrong. I can help him and I will save him. We want to be together and I won't let you haunt me anymore. I deserve to move on and I deserve to love and be loved. Edward has shown me that."

I took one final deep breath as I stared down hard and his headstone.

"I AM NOT YOURS!"

I turned sharply on my heel and marched back to the car. I almost instantly felt better. I knew this wasn't going to immediately get rid of my nightmares, but it felt good to get off my chest and face my fears so to speak. I couldn't wait to tell Dr. Meyer about it at our session this afternoon. I finally felt like I was really taking a step forward and moving on.

March 23rd

"I can't believe the Yankees let Matsui go to the Angels after everything he did in the World Series last year," Ben complained from the other side of Angela.

"Ben, baby…Bella and I have no idea what you're talking about."

I couldn't help but laugh with Angela as Ben huffed and turned to the man sitting on his other side who had overheard him.

"I haven't the faintest idea who he's talking about," Angela whispered to me.

"Me either," I laughed.

I sighed as we watched the Mariners take the field. They were playing the Angels and Edward was playing tonight. I had at least made sure to learn that his position was called "shortstop" and that him hitting fourth was a good thing and that meant he was a powerful hitter. I just trusted Ben on that one. The last time I watched Edward play, he struck out every single time. However, that may have had to do with the fact that Edward was moping and running away from us.

The fact that I told Edward I might love him wasn't forgotten by either one of us, but wasn't brought up again after I said it. I really did mean it too. I wasn't sure what it was that I felt for Edward…but it was stronger than anything I had ever felt before, and it felt like what I thought love could feel like.

Three days after I chased after Edward and confessed my possible "love" for him, we gave the group therapy another try and this time was much more successful. It was difficult, but we both listened to each other's pasts. There were tears spilt on both our parts. Edward cried when he expressed how scared he was that he was going to hurt me like James, and that he wasn't any different from him. I struggled with hearing him recount the first time he had sex after Tanya died. The girl had been some random girl he met in a club and he took her home and slept with her. She had been a virgin and when she tried to talk to Edward about a relationship, he threw her to the curb and never spoke to her again. I could understand why he was so scared to tell me about that, but I knew that he was changing, and he was absolutely torn up reliving it. I cried when I heard about how Edward's struggle with his emotions and feeling like his heart was dead. I almost lost it when I heard him say that he used to think that he didn't deserve to be alive. Luckily, Dr. Meyer sensed my distress and had me speak right away, letting Edward know that I needed him to be alive, that he meant so much to me. Edward almost broke down in tears again, confessing that he no longer felt that way and that he needed me too.

Edward seemed to play every 5 days, so there were plenty of days in between for he and I to work on our therapy in our group and individually. In addition to therapy, he and I talked every day and spent as much time as we could together. If he wasn't playing, he still had to go in and train every day. We spent our time simply watching movies or talking, taking turns cooking or sometimes going out to eat. Things were comfortable between us again and I was loving it. My nightmare hadn't returned for a week now. Dr. Meyer agreed with me that going to James' grave was a good thing for me and indeed very cathartic.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the loud crack of the ball connecting with the bat and watched as the ball flew foul on the first base sideline. I watched as the players returned to their previous positions. I had to admit that from where we were sitting, I had the most perfect view of Edward. I could barely keep the drool from overflowing from my lips. You had to be blind to not see how sexy Edward looked in his baseball uniform. I guess the best way to describe the pants were like tight white capris, and his navy socks went up to his knees and under his pants. But oh my God, when Edward bent over to prepare for any balls hit his way…his butt was…my God, was it possible for there to be an even more perfect ass in existence? I was never one to look at guys' butts before, but I was more than certain Edward had a perfect one. On top, Edward's strong arms were covered by a long sleeve tight navy blue shirt that he wore under his white jersey. He explained to me that his number, 17, was the first number he was ever given when he started playing baseball in little league. The navy Mariners hat on his head was the only thing thus far that I had seen that could contain his crazy bronze locks.

Another loud crank of the ball meeting the bat sounded through the air and I watched, completely fascinated as Edward drove to his left and in an even quicker movement sprang up to his feet and threw the ball to first base, getting the guy out easily. The way he moved was like a jungle cat and it instantly reminded me of my dream. Edward had really proven to become my sort of…protector. Whenever we went out to eat or hang out, he would walk with his hand at the small of my back, and I honestly felt like it was a protective sort of move on his part. A hand at the small of my back wasn't a move that I felt someone who was just a friend would do, and it also seemed to send out the message that I was with him. Of course, Edward growling at any guy who so much as looked at me in a way that he didn't like showed his protectiveness too. I hadn't called him out on this behavior yet. Mostly, I was still surprised that he really did growl. I thought that was surely something my subconscious had made up on it's own.

The game went on and Ben had to explain quite a few things to Angela and I. He declared that he was buying me "Baseball for Dummies" the next chance he got. It felt good to be spending so much time with Angela and Ben again. I told Angela everything that had happened and she was very sympathetic to it all. She and Ben had even come out with Edward and I once, and she approved of him right away. I told her Edward and I weren't even dating or anything, but Angela told me it would happen soon regardless. I blushed deeply at that. Though it was great to see Angela and Ben, I couldn't deny that I missed Alice and Jasper terribly. I even missed that big lug Jake. I talked to Alice almost every day and I told her that I was doing so well with Dr. Meyer, that I was now coming back to Seattle on April 3rd.

"Hey, Edward's up to bat again!" Ben shouted, gaining my attention immediately.

It was the bottom of the 9th now, and Edward had played the entire game. I was getting better at understanding the game, and I knew that Edward had 3 hits in 4 at bats so far, and this was his 5th at bat. I saw that there were two men on base ahead of him, and there were two outs. The Mariners were actually losing by two.

"If Edward hits a home run, he'll win the game," Ben said.

"Really?" Angela and I asked at the same time.

Ben rolled his eyes, "Yes really. That's like, Edward Cullen's thing. He's been the hero at the plate for the Mariners more times that I can remember. Just watch. I'll bet you anything he blasts one out of the park and wins the game."

Well, Edward certainly had my full attention now. I watched, scooting forward to the edge of my seat as the pitcher wound up and launched the ball at him. The crack was almost deafening, and I watched in awe as the ball seemed to soar further and further away.

"I told you!" Ben whooped as the ball sailed over the fence.

I found myself on my feet cheering loudly along with the rest of the crowd as Edward rounded the bases. I smiled widely when Edward's entire team came out of the dugout and waited for him at home plate. He had expressed to me that he was a little upset that his teammates had yet to acknowledge the change in his demeanor. I reassured him that they would soon enough. I couldn't help but cheer loudly as his teammates were all smiles and high fives as Edward crossed home plate and was welcomed into the group. The crowd in the stands was thinning out, but I remained in my spot, standing and clamping with the rest of the faithful. I saw Edward break out of the group and he looked immediately at me, a huge grin spreading across his face. I smiled back and waved my cell phone at him. He nodded, knowing that meant to call me, and smiled one more time at me before Emmett jumped on his back and pushed him into the dugout laughing.

"Only a matter of time…" Angela sang.

"Oh shut it!" Angela laughed even louder because no matter what, the blush on my cheeks couldn't hide the fact that my heart fully agreed with her.

April 1st

"I can't believe you're leaving tomorrow," I sighed.

"I can't believe it's April already," Edward chuckled as he threw a shirt into his suitcase.

I had insisted that I come up to Peoria tonight to spend our time together and also help him pack up his belongings. I had prepared a lasagna and garlic bread for us at home in Phoenix to bring with me to bake in Edward's oven while I helped him. The maids cleaned the room, so there wasn't much to do but for Edward to pack his clothes and things. Most of it was being sent back to Seattle and he was only packing what he needed for the road trip. I was incredibly sad that the next time I was going to see him wouldn't be until April 12th. That seemed so far away from now.

"What are you thinking about Bella?"

I shivered when Edward placed a lock of hair behind my ear. His eyes were searching mine intently for an answer. I bit my lip, and mumbled my answer under my breath. We had our last group therapy session yesterday, and we agreed that we wouldn't keep anything from each other anymore. Edward and I went out to dinner afterwards last night, and he held my hand as we strolled along the street last night. I was a giddy little girl and I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest. He kissed me on my hand before he left for the night. I couldn't help but call Alice and squeal with her. I knew she was still a little leery about Edward, but she couldn't help but squeal right along with me.

"I couldn't make that out Bella."

I sighed, "I just…I can't believe I'm not going to see you again until the 12th."

Edward's eyes instantly softened, "I know that it seems like a long time, but we'll call each other every day and we'll talk. It'll pass before you know it."

He laughed loudly and I couldn't help but laugh too, even though I had no idea what he was laughing at. "At least you can see me on TV! I won't have a way to see you!"

I suddenly brightened at an idea that popped into my head. "You take your lap top on the road with you don't you? And it's a Mac?"

"Yeah…" Edward said slowly, confusion clear on his face.

"I have a Mac too! We can video chat Edward!"

Edward's eyes brightened and the smile grew on his face, "You're a genius Bella!"

Before I even knew what was happening, Edward had me swept up in his arms and spinning around in circles. I couldn't help but squeal and laugh as Edward laughed as well. He had really changed in the past couple of days and therapy really seemed to help him. Both of us seemed to feel lighter and Edward seemed to finally be convinced that he was a different man. When Edward finally stopped spinning us, I clutched tightly to his shirt at his chest to try and steady myself. As Edward lowered my feet back to the ground, my shirt must have ridden up a little bit because we both gasped when his fingers brushed against the bare skin of my sides. My eyes instantly snapped up to meet Edward's and I was stunned by what I saw. His eyes seemed to darken and his mouth hung open slightly. My own breathing seemed to catch in my throat and my body was hyperaware of his pressing against my own. I couldn't stop my eyes from drifting to his lips and I felt his hands tighten ever so slightly on my hips.

"Bella…" Edward whispered, and my eyes snapped back to his. His gaze went back and forth between my eyes and lips as he ever so slowly started to dip his head lower. My tongue swept over my lower lip and my breathing hitched when I felt Edward's own sweet breath sweep over my face. I closed my eyes as he whispered my name again and my skin was already tingling in our close proximity.

The jarring sound of the timer I set for the lasagna and the bread sent Edward and I jumping apart from each other. We were both breathing heavily and looking at the ground. My cheeks were flaming and when I chanced a glance at Edward, I saw that his cheeks were pink as well.

"I…uh…I better get the food before it burns."

Edward glanced up briefly at me before running a hand through his hair and returning his gaze back to the floor. "Uh…yeah…I'll just finish packing this last bag and I'll be out in a minute."

I quickly scurried away to the kitchen and took the bread and lasagna out and placed them on top of the stove. I was taking deep breaths trying desperately to regulate my breathing. Where we really…did we almost just…Edward almost kissed me!! I almost kissed Edward!! Stupid lasagna! Stupid garlic bread! Stupid stupid stupid!!

"Bella, did the lasagna do something to make you mad?"

I whirled around and saw Edward smirking at me from the doorway. I blushed immediately. I hadn't realized I had been taking everything out on the lasagna tray as I cut it up for us to eat. Edward chuckled and walked forward, grabbing the paper plates and plastic utensils I had brought over and bringing it over to us.

"Why don't you go sit and let me serve up our plates?"

I almost wanted to smack that smirk off his face! Was he not affected at all by our near kiss?! I swear he was blushing in the bedroom only minutes ago and now he looks like nothing ever happened!

"Fine…" I trailed off, not knowing what else to say. I went to sit at the small dining area he had adjacent to his kitchen and sighed. I couldn't lie and say that I didn't want Edward to kiss me and that the lasagna had the worst timing in the whole world!

"Are you okay Bella?"

My eyes snapped to Edward setting a plate down in front of me before moving to take a seat across from me. He still had that smirk on his face that I was both loving right now and also wanted to smack off his face. Why wasn't he blushing like me or cursing the hell out of the lasagna?!

"Fine…I, uh…I just think I might've burned the food…" I lied lamely.

"I'm sure it's delicious," Edward smiled, digging in.

We spoke about his road trip. He was leaving to play two pre-season games in New Mexico against the Colorado Rockies and then a game in San Francisco against the Giants before crossing the bay and opening the season against the Oakland A's. After that he was going to Texas to play the Rangers and then would finally be back in Seattle to play Oakland again. Just thinking of all the traveling he would have to be doing was making me dizzy. He laughed when I told him as much and the conversation moved on to what I would be doing when I returned. His mother Esme was going to be meeting with me in person in Seattle to discuss what she had planned for me. I was beyond thankful that I still had a job after all of this mess.

Edward stood and stretched. I tried not to drool as a sliver of his stomach showed as his shirt rode up. I don't know what it was about Edward Cullen…but I wanted him in a way that I had never wanted anyone else before. I would definitely need to talk to Alice when I got home. When I snapped out of my drooling daydreams, I saw that Edward was looking down at me and…is he blushing??

"Uh…would…um, do you want to go get some dessert? There's a frozen yogurt place a couple of blocks away…"

"Oh, sure. That sounds delicious."

As usual, as we walked down the street towards the yogurt place, Edward kept his hand on the small of my back as he guided us between the other people that were out walking around. It was nice because no one seemed to notice him. He told me he occasionally had problems when he was in Seattle, and especially when he was the "old" Edward and went out a lot. Right now, we just looked like a regular…couple, out walking to get some dessert. I couldn't deny that after everything we had been through since meeting each other, that it was a nice feeling to be here right now. That feeling made saying goodbye to him tonight all the more painful. I had grown quite accustomed to seeing Edward all the time and talking to him every day. I knew we would still talk every day, but not seeing him for two weeks or longer at a time…that thought made me sad.

Edward suddenly pulled me close and into his side as a guy on a bike narrowly missed me on the sidewalk.

"Hey! Get off the sidewalk!" Edward yelled, anger apparent in his voice. I turned and looked, catching the guy on the bike, flipping Edward off. I could feel Edward's entire body tense and quickly maneuvered myself so I was in front of him.

"Edward, relax! It's okay!" I said, trying desperately to calm him, my hands on his chest. I saw his jaw clenched tightly and he was still looking behind me. "Edward…"

When he looked down at me, his eyes immediately softened and he closed his eyes briefly, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, Bella…forgive me."

His hands slowly came up to mine and he gripped them softly. Slowly he took my right hand off his chest and brought my palm to his lips, kissing it softly. I think I almost had a heart attack. No man, not even Mike, had ever shown me such…such caring! It was such a tender and intimate gesture I stuttered out my next words.

"I-i-it's o-okay Edward…he's not worth it."

Edward's eyes opened and he smiled at me before turning and starting up the street. However, he didn't let go of my right and he easily slipped his fingers between my own. I gave him a gentle squeeze and he smiled down at me as we continued walking. I thought my heart was going to explode out of my chest. This feeling was completely different from the times Edward held my hand on Christmas Eve and Christmas. It felt like my whole body was tingling and on fire. I had to wonder if he felt it too.

The night seemed to go by too quickly after that, and before I knew it, Edward and I were standing by my car. It was apparent that both of us didn't want to say goodbye to each other. Even after getting our yogurt, Edward didn't let go of my hand, and I was squealing inside. Now, Edward stood in front of me as I leaned against the door of my car, playing with my fingers in his large hand.

"You'll call me when you get to New Mexico?" I asked softly.

He nodded, "And you'll call me when you get to Seattle?"

I could only nod. I felt somewhat silly. It's not like Edward was my boyfriend or anything…but we were heading in that direction right? All of our group therapy and work that we had done was so we could figure out what a healthy relationship was and how we could be in one together.

"Well, I better let you go…" Edward said softly. I immediately wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging myself tightly to him. We had been hugging each other goodbye for a while now. I felt ridiculous as I breathed in deeply, committing that smell that was so distinctly Edward to my memory. I felt Edward's head rest on top of my own and heard him breath deeply, as if he was doing the same thing I was.

"I don't want to let you go…" I whispered.

"Me either."

I took one more deep breath and pushed back slightly, but kept my arms wrapped around Edward's waist and my gaze focused on his chest. Edward was running his hands up and down my arms slowly. I could tell that he was looking down at me, but I couldn't meet his eyes just yet.

"Bella…"

I slowly raised my head and was startled at how close Edward's face was to my own. He had a faint smile on his lips and his hands stopped their circuit to rest on my elbows.

"Bella…would…would it be all right if I kissed you?"

Edward actually blushed after his request and I didn't hesitate to give him my answer.

"Yes!" I almost shouted all too excitedly. It was my turn to blush after my outburst and I bit my lip. Edward chuckled softly but his face quickly became serious again as he eyed my lips. His hands slowly came up to cup my cheeks and my breath hitched as his thumbs slowly caressed them.

It seemed like time stopped or was going in slow motion as Edward kept his eyes on mine and slowly lowered his lips to meet mine. My eyes fluttered closed and I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest when his soft lips pressed against my own. It was like there was a fire racing through my veins and my hands clutched at his waist and I automatically pressed myself closer to him. I moaned loudly as Edward swept my bottom lip between his own. He answered with his own moan before slowly pulling away and leaning his forehead against my own.

"We have to stop. I can't lose control with you Bella…"

I simply nodded my head against his. This was something else we talked about in our last session of therapy. Edward is much more "experienced" than I am, and I am scared about anything physical beyond kissing and hand holding, so it was agreed that IF we decided to pursue a relationship together, that we would have to take it very slowly. I had to admit, I don't know who Edward and I thought we were fooling. We were definitely pursuing a relationship with each other.

"I wish you didn't have to be so…restrained…"

Edward groaned, "You're going to be the death of me Bella…you know why we have to go slow. I won't hurt you Bella."

"I know...I trust you Edward. I'm sorry."

"Please don't apologize Bella," Edward sighed, pulling back so he could look at me, "I…I actually wanted to ask you something."

"Okay…" I said, curious as to what he was going to say.

I watched as Edward looked down and chewed on his lip. He started to bounce on his feet slightly and it was like he was…nervous about something.

"I…I know it's kind of sudden and quick, and it's okay if you say no, but I hope one day you'll say yes…"

My eyes went wide. What was he talking about? There…there was no way he was talking about marriage or proposing or anything right?! I would have to say "no" right now if that was the case. There was no way I was ready to marry anyone…even Edward.

"Would you be my girlfriend Bella?"

I was so stunned that all I could do was stare at him. He really wanted me to be his girlfriend officially? Edward's hopeful face began to fall rapidly and I snapped out of my daze.

"I would love nothing more!" I nearly shouted. I watched as Edward's surprised face slowly spread into the wide, crooked smile that I had come to adore.

"Really? You mean it?"

"Of course I mean it Edward!"

"Oh Bella!" Edward pressed his lips to mine chastely. I couldn't stop my lips from spreading into a huge smile. Edward was my boyfriend and he had kissed me twice now! Alice is going to die when I finally tell her everything.

"I couldn't head out on the road without asking you officially," Edward said, looking sort of sheepish.

"I'm glad you did," I smiled back.

Edward's smile beamed and that sheepish look was wiped clean off his face. It fell quickly though when he looked at his watch.

"You have to head back."

I sighed. I nodded. Edward and I couldn't stay here forever. I glanced up at him one more time and he didn't disappoint me, pressing his lips to mine again.

"Be safe Bella…" Edward whispered against my forehead, before placing yet another kiss there.

"You too," I whispered back, finally tearing my hands away from his sides.

I grudgingly got into my car as Edward held the door open for me. "Don't worry Bella…Emmett will keep an eye on me for you. He's already threatened to kick my ass if I step one toe out of line."

I giggled at that. That did make me feel a little better. I trusted Edward, but knowing Emmett would be there helping to keep him out of trouble definitely reassured me.

"I'll see you in Seattle," I said sadly.

Edward smiled, "It'll go by faster than you think Bella, and like you said, I'll have my lap top with me."

"Okay. Good luck and hit good and stuff."

Edward laughed loudly, "Thank you Bella! I will, knowing that my girlfriend will be watching."

"I will be," I smiled, loving that I was his girlfriend.

"Okay…I'm going to close this door otherwise we'll never say good night to each other."

"Good night Edward."

"I'll see you soon Bella."

I reluctantly closed the door to my car and started to head out of the parking lot. I glanced back one last time and saw Edward still standing where I left him. I sighed heavily. Alice was going to flip out. My time here in Phoenix brought to life a new Bella Swan. I felt like I was really the Bella Swan I tried to convince myself I was before. I felt strong, brave, confident…and I felt loved. For once, I also felt like I deserved the feeling.

April 5th

"Jasper! Are you sure you ordered that Mariners package thingy?"

"Bella, darlin', relax! I promise I did!"

"Jazzy! Don't forget to grab the beers!"

Alice had gone all out in planning a little party for the three of us for the first game of the Major League Baseball season. She made us clam dip, potato chips from scratch, buffalo wings, nachos, and bought beer from the Pyramid brewing company down by the stadium. She knew I was excited and nervous for Edward's first game of the season. I had talked to him around lunch time before he left for the stadium and he was also excited.

"It's starting!" I shouted, as Jasper came rushing back into the room with our beers. Alice locked Jake and Nessie in our spare bedroom so they wouldn't go after the food. Had it been just Jake, he would've barked up a storm at being locked up back there by himself, but with Nessie here, he's been behaving so much better.

When Alice picked me up from the airport two days ago, she practically tackled me to the floor and definitely caused people to stare at the two of us as I staggered around and tried not to let us fall to the ground. Jasper hung back and pretended that he didn't know us. When we got home, Alice immediately cornered me in my room and sat me down to hear everything. While she was still a little leery of Edward, she could tell that he made me happy and that he definitely contributed to the changes in me.

"At shortstop for the Seattle Mariners, and batting fourth, number 17…Edward Cullen!"

I frowned immediately, "Are the booing him in Oakland?"

Jasper nodded, "I guess you could say Oakland and Seattle kind of have a rivalry. That and uh…the old Edward was kind of a douche. He's not liked in pretty much every city, despite how good he is."

"Jasper!" Alice hissed.

"It's okay Alice," I said, "I know Edward isn't that guy anymore. That's all that really matters at the end of the day."

"Well, he better not forget it," Alice added.

"He won't."

The game went on and I was amazed as I watched Edward and his teammates beat the A's 9 to 4. Jasper did a lot of explaining to Alice and I while we watched. Apparently the Mariners' pitcher, some guy named Felix, was really good and the guy Ichiro was some sort of Superman. In addition to them, Edward did awesome. He had 3 hits and he made a bunch of great plays when he was in the field. I was so proud of him and it looked like he and his teammates were getting along better. I had to admit that the other team looked a bit stunned at Edward's demeanor, and even the commentators made some comments about the changes in Edward's personality. I had never seen him play before, but Jasper said to trust him when he said that Edward was pretty drastically different.

I had fallen asleep after the game, and I was completely out of it when I heard my phone ringing in the darkness of my room. I quickly reached for it off my side table, and I couldn't help but smile despite my tiredness when I saw that it was Edward calling.

"Hi," I said softly.

"Hey, I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Oh! You didn't…" I tried to lie.

"Bella, you are one of the worst liars I've ever met. I'm sorry for waking you. I just wanted to hear your voice."

"You did so great tonight Edward," I smiled, as I lay back down, with the phone pressed against my ear.

"Thank you Bella. I played so well because I knew you were watching."

I couldn't help but giggle sleepily, "Well then, you're always going to play well because I'm going to watch every single game."

Edward chuckled, "Okay Bella. Well, I just wanted to hear your voice. You go back to sleep and you call me tomorrow after you meet with my mom."

"It's okay…" I let out a huge yawn, "I can talk."

"You're exhausted Bella. Go to sleep and I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"M'kay…" I mumbled, my eyes already getting heavy.

"Sweet dreams my Bella."

"Night…" was the last thing I remember mumbling, and I heard the faint laughter of the velvet voice that I knew I was falling more and more in love with. That night I had nothing but good dreams. I was lying in Edward's arms in our meadow at the dog park, he kissed me softly and told me that he loved me. What I wouldn't give to hear him say those words aloud.

Well? Yes? No? Yeah…so I glossed over the therapy stuff, but I felt like we needed to move forward. Are we happy Bella and Edward are officially together? I am. I have plans for these two. :- ) That's not to say some drama isn't headed their way…Edward really did hurt a lot of people with his past self…he'll have to face that and so will Bella.

Let me know what you think (good or bad) pretty please? And please have a safe, happy, and awesome holiday! Next chapter will be up after Christmas. Review, and maybe I'll get it out sooner. :-P