Chapter 14

Ginoza

I know last Friday I gave my word to Mr. Tougane that I would drive up to High Hill Ridge this morning but to be honest I wish I didn't have to. I never did like doing location calls, I prefer working in Heartland. I prefer knowing where everything is and who I'm working with but I know sometimes in order to better help a horse, you need to see its environment first hand in order to better understand it.

Today, I'm really hoping to get some answers; I'm honestly tired of working with a horse that just doesn't seem to have any problems. I feel like I'm constantly wasting my time and I keep redoing the same work over and over again and that's not good because in turn it only keeps dragging Heartland's name in the dirt since it makes us look like we can't help horses at all.

Mom worked on Bucky herself for a whole week, she tried everything that she could think of but in the end Bucky never reacted negatively towards her or anyone. In the end, mom cleared Bucky and stated that there was absolutely nothing wrong with the horse and that she couldn't see the problems that Mr. Tougane kept on pointing out. The problems were just not present.

Last week when Mr. Tougane had unexpectedly brought Bucky to heartland, he again complained about the stallion having the same problems as it did before. Apparently it was still unresponsive, would refuse to be saddled and would just not listen to any basic commands so I kept Bucky in Heartland for three days and I really pushed him pretty bad but in the end, I got nothing.

No matter what I did to him, Bucky never acted out negatively towards me. Actually it was like he was determined to please me no matter what and he would do everything that I would ask him to no matter how hard the challenge I would put him through.

In the email that he sent me last Friday, Mr. Tougane stated that Bucky remained with behavioral problems but every time I'm near him, or even when I observe the stallion from a distance I can't see those problems that Bucky supposedly has. All I see from him is that he's genuinely a good temperamental horse who's highly affectionate towards people and very sociable to the point that he hates being alone.

I figured that maybe because he hates being alone, that his loneliness is what triggers his behavioral problems so I did on purpose to isolate him during those three days that I had him but it didn't do anything. Instead of acting out, he was even more affectionate when someone or another animal joined him in the pasture.

I drive up near the large barn of High Hill Ridge and this place is just so huge, calling it a mansion instead of a barn would sound better. It's easy to see that the Touganes have deep pockets and from what I can see, there's probably almost enough horses to fill every stall in the barn so I know again for a fact that Bucky is probably never alone so I know that he's not suffering from loneliness.

I turn off the engine and take a deep breath before stepping out of the truck as I look around before I wander off into the barn in search for Mr. Tougane but I feel so out of place here, like I don't belong. The only thing that's helping to make me feel a bit more professional right now is the customized black nylon jacket and shirt that Lysa had made for me for exactly these kinds of occasions. The Jacket has Heartland's logo largely imprinted on the back and a smaller logo on the right breast. The shirt only has the small logo on the right breast but I still like the idea of having something that helps to make me stand out as an employee of Heartland and not just some random kid.

Everything in this barn is all fancy and high-tech, nothing in here even comes close to what we have at Heartland. All I can see is huge dollar signs here and there. Everything that I look at must have cost a fortune and I guess it's one of the main reasons why I hate going to these on site call jobs. It's always the deep pockets who requests on site call jobs and it's like it's their way of telling us at Heartland that they have it better than us.

"Can I help you with something?"

I turn around at the sound of a male voice only to meet a guy dressed in the typical stable hand uniform with short blondish hair. I don't know this man and I don't recall seeing him before when I had briefly come up here with mom a while back but I guess the Touganes must have a whole bunch of employees at their disposal and it wouldn't surprise me if the workers would come and go too.

"Nobuchika Ginoza from Heartland" I introduce myself and ask, "Is Sakuya Tougane here?"

"No, I haven't seen him this morning." The guy answers much to my dismay. So much for punctuality on Mr. Tougane's part… "Can I help you with something?" He further asks.

"I was asked by Mr. Tougane to come over to High Hill Ridge to see Bucky. Apparently Bucky is acting up again and I'm here to see if there's anything I can do." I tell him and he nods in approval so I guess he must have known that I was coming then.

"This way." He tells me and I follow the man towards the back of the barn and here he is in his full glory standing patiently in his stall.

I just want to let out a long sigh at the sight of Bucky. He's perfectly calm in his stall, he doesn't seem to be annoyed by anything or bored and right now I feel as if I'm here for nothing again.

High Hill Ridge has absolutely everything you could possible ever want. The stalls occupy the center of the barn but in the back there's a well maintain jumping arena and right now it's not currently being used by anyone and since I'm already here, I might has well get started working with Bucky to see if there is anything wrong with him. I'm sure Mr. Tougane will arrive soon and if I can get started right away it will save us both some time, I'm sure he must be a very busy man and I just want to go home already and work with Nymeria.

"Do you mind if I saddle him up and take him out for a few jumps?" I ask the guy.

"Be my guess." He answers back before walking away to resume his work probably.

I open the stall and carefully lead the stallion out of his stall. Again I don't see anything wrong with him but I better be careful anyway. The last thing I want is a clumsy accident to happen and not to mention, Bucky could react at any moment so I better play it safe for a little bit as I stroke Bucky's neck before reaching for the blanket and then the saddle and just like before he allows me to saddle him up with no problems at all and if I didn't know any better I'd say that he's even eager to be saddled up. He wants to be taken out for a ride, he wants to go jumping.

I stroke the center of his head for a bit before leading him towards the jumping arena and once I'm far enough from the stalls I mount on his back and gently get him to start running towards the first obstacle and he jumps the obstacle with ease. I then pull onto the reins to make him turn and I speed up his pace a little as I approach the second obstacle, this one is one pole higher than the first one but just like the previous one, Bucky jumps it flawlessly.

He listens to me very carefully and I can tell that he trusts my judgement completely. I think he would jump anything that I would tell him to even if he knew that he'd get injured in doing so, I really do think he'd do it still of which is remarkable since not many horses have this kind of mentality.

Bucky is the kind of horse that doesn't seem to care about itself. To him, I get this vibe that it's all about pleasing its rider and that's truly exceptional in its own way but other than that, Bucky is simply just an average horse with nothing special. Even his colouring is average, a rich mahogany brown with an average build. This stallion wouldn't be an alpha male any time soon that's for sure.

I pull on Bucky's reins again to make him turn, this time making him do a much sharper one as I force him to quicken his pace even more than before as we approach the third obstacle. This one is a three pole high obstacle which I've never tried to do before with Bucky until now and without any bit of hesitation from the stallion, he jumps it and he successfully makes it on the other side without hitting the poles much to my satisfaction but it only proves it even more that there's absolutely nothing wrong with this horse.

"Remarkable!"

I look over to my right and there he is, the man that I was supposed to meet with is standing on the side of the arena. I didn't even see him arrive, I guess I was a bit too focused on the jumps but I'm glad that he's finally here so I can get this over with. The sooner, the better if you ask me.

I climb off Bucky and walk towards Mr. Tougane with the stallion in tow.

"You have a gift, just like your mother." He states.

I've heard that one so many times before and I always have to resist the urge of saying that I don't have a gift with horses like my mother had but I've learned that it really doesn't matter what I say to these people. No one listens when I speak anyway.

"Mr. Tougane. You weren't here when I arrived, I didn't think you'd mind if I got started on Bucky." I say.

"Not at all. Watching you ride that stallion, I could almost not believe that it's causing me grief for months." He tells me and I can't say if it's an attack towards me and my mother for failing to see what's wrong with Bucky or if he's just saying that just for the sake of saying it and that he didn't mean anything by it.

"I saddled up Bucky myself and he didn't try to stop me." I further tell Mr. Tougane and continue, "He jumps flawlessly also without any hesitations."

"You are certainly capable of bringing the best out of him." Mr. Tougane voices out and I'm not too sure about that. I mean when Bucky was in Heartland I made Kagari ride him for a bit and he was able to make the stallion jump just as good as I did even though Kagari lacks experience.

"But that's the thing. I don't know what's wrong with Bucky; I don't see any behavioral problems at all." I admit and I refuse to play the fool here just to satisfy a deep pocket. Mr. Tougane will have to understand and accept that Bucky is perfectly fine, there's nothing wrong with him. "When he was at Heartland, I did on purpose to cause some stressful situations just to see his reactions and I got nothing." I further tell him.

"I do not doubt your skills to work with horses." He replies calmly as he looks at Bucky and then towards me.

"Mr. Tougane I must ask, why Bucky?" I ask. "I mean I've ridden jumping horses that were much better. Bucky is simply what you'd call average on every level, he wouldn't be a horse to use if you want to go far in show jumping competitions." I state and I have to wonder if maybe that's the problem here.

I'm starting to think that Mr. Tougane may have expectations much too high for Bucky. Yes Bucky is a good jumping horse but he's not the best and you have to be realistic here too. It's good to push but you have to know when to stop, every horse has their limits and this is Bucky's and it should be good enough.

"Yes, Bucky is not the greatest show jumping horse that I have come across but in your opinion, he would be a good horse for a beginner rider would he not?" He inquires and I have to wonder if this is a trick question or not. Is Mr. Tougane planning on selling Bucky at some point or is it something else?

"I believe that he would." I answer cautiously.

Bucky has a really great personality and he's very affectionate so yes he would be a great horse for a beginner. Actually Bucky would be great for young riders, like those in the ten to twelve years category.

"I believe so too." Mr. Tougane admits. "This is why I feel like I can't give up on this horse. He holds a promising purpose for any future riders who wish to pursuit a career in show jumping." He explains his reasoning and I guess it's not a bad one and I'm glad that he feels that way. Bucky deserves an owner who understand him but it still doesn't' change the fact that there is nothing wrong with Bucky so I have no idea where I even come in.

"You're absolutely right." I agree with his reasoning but I can't hide my feelings about Bucky not being problematic though and I know that Mr. Tougane can sense that. He's somewhat cautious around me like he's afraid that I'll blow him off and that I'll refuse to help him but I seriously don't know what to do. I don't even know what mom would do if she were here, I just don't and the more I think about it, I so don't want to be here.

"What do you believe should be the next course of action towards Bucky?" He asks and signals to one of his stable hand to come take Bucky off my hands and urges me to follow him and I do so.

"It's kind of hard to say for sure." I admit and continue, "The thing is that Bucky has never reacted negatively towards me in anyway so I figured maybe he's the type of horse who's picky about who rides him so I got one of my stable hands to try saddling him up and then ride him and he didn't have any problems either."

I follow Mr. Tougane into his office and I take a seat into a chair facing his desk as he closes the door and walks towards a small fridge, taking out a water bottle and opens it before giving it to me and I accept and he takes one for himself.

"My stable hand who helped me is just a part-time worker, he's young and has no experience with jumping what so ever which is why I asked for his help for this and Bucky was great. You couldn't have been able to tell that my stable hand was an inexperienced rider." I further tell him but I can't tell if Mr. Tougane is impressed or not.

"Could it be that one of my riders may be the problem and not the horse itself?" He asks as he sits down behind his desk and I take a sip out of my bottle.

"It's possible." I answer. It sure wouldn't be uncommon that the rider is the one to bring out the worse in the horse. I've seen it many times before and it's always quite unfortunate because very often, the rider refuses to acknowledge that they are the problem and not the horse. "It could also be a stable hand. It's not unheard of to hear about abusive stable hands towards the horses that they should care for." I also suggest before taking another sip from my bottle and I wonder if I should have said that or not. It's kind of a bold accusation to make on my part, I might have messed up.

"If it would be the case that a stable hand is abusing my horses, wouldn't I see similar behavior problems in my other horses as well?" He further asks and that's the reason why I never said anything before because it's probably not the case here but it still isn't unheard of.

"Yes and that's why I never mentioned it before because I didn't want to wrongfully accuse anyone of animal neglect-" I reply back and stop talking when suddenly my vision turned blurry for a few seconds forcing me to blink rapidly a few times before my vision returned to normal.

"Are you alright?" Mr. Tougane asks with a somewhat worried expression.

"Yes I'm fine, I've been over working myself for the last few days and I think it's taking its toll." I answer back and just as I finished talking my vision turned blurry again and then without any warning I start feeling dizzy.

What's going on? Why must I start feeling ill now of all places?

"A head injury is quite delicate. Perhaps it was insensitive of me to request that you come all the way here in your condition." Mr. Tougane tells me as he stands up.

I feel strange, I feel dizzy and light headed and I'm trying to remember if this is something that's normal but I seriously doubt it that it is but I don't remember what my doctor told me, I don't know if this is normal or not but I don't feel well. I don't feel well at all, I just want to go home and lie down for a bit.

"It's okay, I'm just feeling a little lightheaded that's all." I tell him as I gently rub my temples but it's not helping to make me feel any better. "But if you don't mind Mr. Tougane I think I'll be going back home." I add as I try to stand up but I'm unable to as I fall back into my seat. I feel so weak.

"Perhaps you should rest here until you feel better." I hear Mr. Tougane say but I can't see him anymore, my vision has completely gone out of wack but I hear footsteps coming closer towards me. It has to be him but what's wrong with me?

"No I'll be fine-"

I see a large dark figure that's completely blurry, it has to be Mr. Tougane but what is he doing? Just now I heard the zipper of my jacket being unzipped and I feel something heavy on my leg.

"You're in no condition to be driving." I hear Mr. Tougane say but I feel as if my head has been submerged under water. His voice seems so distant and yet so near. It feels like his voice has a trailing echo.

I want to go home, I don't want to be anywhere but home when I don't feel well.

"You're the spitting image of your mother, from head to toe." I hear him say as I feel something rubbing against my inner thighs. "Having you here is rather hard not to take advantage of the situation." I further hear him say and I feel a sudden panic take over me.

The water…

Why…? When…?

I try to move as I feel something against the palms of my hands and my instinct is to push as hard as I can and somehow I managed to stand on my feet but rather wobbly only to feel a sharp pain against my face and the next thing that I know I'm lying on the cold hard floor.

"Such a pretty face, I wonder if the rest of you are just as nice." I hear him says and I feel him grab my arms to turn me around in order to face him.

My vision keeps going from blurry to clear as I struggle to free myself all while I hear slight tearing of fabric and I know that I'm probably in tears as I keep on struggling but to no avail as I try to get this man off of me.

If only my vision wasn't disrupted, if I didn't feel so weak I might be able to push him off me and make a run for it but I can't and all I can do is continue to struggle as I to try and prevent him from having his way but I know that I'm failing miserably as I continue to hear fabric being ripped followed by another sharp blow on my cheek as if it's his way of telling me to stop and just give up and maybe I should. I can't defend myself, I'm weak and he's got me exactly where he wants me.

I can't defend myself…

I feel my shirt being lifted up to my chin as I feel his hands onto my torso followed something warm and wet on my chest when I suddenly remembered and as quickly as I could managed, I reached into my jacket pocket in order to grab the slim device that I had stored into before leaving Heartland and the next thing I hear is Tougane's muffled voice in pain and he falls limp, allowing me to push him away.

I slowly pull myself up on my feet, clutching onto the thing that grandpa had given to me only two days ago for dear life, remembering how much I had fussed over it. That I didn't need such a ridiculous thing but I was wrong, I needed it to save my own skin.

I can hardly walk straight and I know I must look terrible right now but it doesn't matter as I try my best not to stumble to the ground as I walk towards the door, ignoring the the pain from where Tougane had forcefully grabbed me and I can't help but feel like such an idiot and an even bigger one as I opened the door only to come face to face with another man.

This can't be happening…

I just want to go home…