Chapter 14 – To Kill A Mocking Bird

The Following Monday Morning,

Gossip Girl Blast

Good morning, Upper East Siders. You must be wondering why I'm up so early on this faithful Monday morning. Call it an early morning miracle. I went to church to sing "Hallelujah" now that Lonely Boy's foray into journalism has finally come to a tragic end.

But enough about that….the hot piece of gossip is that lonely boy has a thing for Upper East Side girls (and the occasional faculty member). The interesting thing about his latest crush is that it has the capacity to literarily blow the door down.

Who is it, you ask? It seems that the friendship between Lonely Boy and a certain Queen B is not as pure as they'd like everyone to believe (As I've been hinting for months).

I don't know about you, but what I'm dying know is, are his feelings reciprocated? What does S think about this new development? You know what they say S, friends that share together stay together.

Blair stared at her phone aghast after reading the blast and Dan's article respectively. How could he do this her? How could he embarrass her like that, leaving her exposed to the whole world?

She was going to strangle him when she got her hands on him. First, she needed to get out of the girl's lavatory. She wasn't in a good frame of mind to face the knowing looks and pointing fingers. She needed space and privacy to re-strategize.

This was supposed to be her day of crowing glory, the day everything re-aligned perfectly. Dan Humphrey was a dead man.

Blair chastised herself for not proof reading the article before Dan sent it.

She hadn't bothered to ask him about it like she normally would have done and he hadn't bothered to send it to her either. They had been avoiding each other - correction, he had been avoiding her while she wanted his head on a platter.

Blair walked out of school, looking around her in a surreptious manner, hoping not to be spotted. Upon arriving outside, she hailed a cab and went home.

Later that day, Blair sat on her bed flicking through the latest edition of Vogue. The sound of her bedroom door opening caused her to stop what she was doing and look up.

Blair was taken aback to see Serena standing in her doorway. She had given Dorota explicit instructions not to let anyone into the penthouse. She was going to have sterns words with that woman after this.

"Serena," said Blair sweetly. "I told Dorota not to let anyone in, I'm think I have swine flu, you better leave or you might catch something." Blair made a show of coughing delicately.

Serena did not respond and she didn't offer Blair any words of sympathy. She looked pissed as she advanced towards the bed.

"Blair, what is the meaning of this?" asked Serena menacingly as she pushed her phone under Blair's nose.

Blair glanced at the phone briefly and saw the opening remarks of Dan's article. She pushed the phone away callously and stared at Serena in defiance.

"Do you want to tell me why you stormed into my bedroom uninvited?" Blair snapped back angrily.

"Blair, I trusted you. I asked you if there was anything going between you and Dan, and you told me, to my face, that nothing was going on!" said Serena raising, her voice.

"That's because there is nothing going on! You're obviously deranged."

"Really, I'm deranged?" asked Serena incredulously, "So why is my ex-boyfriend practically waxing lyrical in the New York Times about how he feels about you?"

Blair shrugged nonchalantly. "Who knows? Humphrey probably got dropped on the head as a baby and has a few screws loose."

"Are you listening to yourself, B?"

"What I'm listening to is you bleating into my ear about things that don't exist. I've had enough of this asinine conversation, you know way out," Blair responded in a deadpan manner, motioning to the door with her eyes.

"You know what B, I'm not going anywhere; not until you tell me the truth." Serena folded her arms across her chest defiantly.

"S, you're boring me. I have better things to do with my time. If you want to stand around looking like an idiot, feel free to do that in your own time."

"I repeat, what is going on between you and Dan?"

"Nothing! Or are you deaf as well as stupid?"

"There's obviously something going on. Today's article is one example of that and the other, is the way you two have been carrying on the past few months."

"Please, like I'd want your low rent leftovers."

"You didn't think he was my low rent leftovers when you two were "hanging out" together, practically everyday; or when you were all cozy and touchy-feely towards each other. And let's not forget your behavior at the party," replied Serena sardonically.

"You're obviously delusional. Are you back on drugs again?"

"Blair! I'm not doing this with you again!"

Blair rolled her eyes and regarded Serena like she was stupid.

"I'm not going to sit back and let you pretend that you are in a movie, so that you can ignore parts of your life that don't fit into your perfect plan. This time I'm not leaving until I get the truth out of you, especially as it concerns me."

"How does this concern you? You two are not even dating anymore?" retorted Blair

"So, we're finally getting somewhere," realized Serena.

Blair scowled at Serena. And then she switched her attention back to Vogue magazine in front of her; flicking through its pages one by one, deliberately ignoring Serena.

"Uh-uh," scolded Serena as she snatched away the magazine from Blair.

"Give it back."

"Only if you tell me the truth!"

"What are you like, twelve?"

"At least I'm honest with myself; I don't pretend my life's a fairytale, so that I don't have to deal with my problems. What's it going to be, Blair? The truth or the magazine gets it," Serena threatened putting her hands in position to rip the cover and the first few pages of the magazine.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

Blair folded her arms across her chest and glared at Serena.

There was a few minutes of silence and then,

"This is all your fault! If you hadn't introduced that low rent hipster into our lives, this would never have happened!" Blair lashed out.

"My fault? How is exactly is my ex-boyfriend practically writing you a love letter for the whole of New York to see my fault, B? I wasn't exactly consulted when you two started cavorting around each other in the spirit of writing articles."

"Like you cavorted with my boyfriend behind my back?"

"You can't use that against me forever, Blair. I've apologized, you said you forgave me, it's over and done!"

Blair rolled her eyes at Serena derisively.

Serena was fed up, Blair was too stubborn and they weren't getting anywhere. Instead they were running around in circles snarling at each other like wild animals. Serena sighed heavily; her face took on a more sympathetic expression.

"Blair, aren't you sick and tired all the drama? I know I am. All we seem to do, is fight?" Serena then added more softly, "B, I'm sorry that I burst into your room and confronted you aggressively, okay? I want you to feel comfortable enough to tell me the truth, even if it hurts. I promise not to judge or…get mad. So tell me, sister to sister, what is going on between you and Dan?"

Blair shifted uncomfortably and looked away from Serena.

Blair sighed deeply and snapped, "We kissed, twice. Satisfied?"

"You…you kissed?" replied Serena in disbelief.

"What happened to not judging?"

"Ok, I'm sorry, no judging."

They were both silent for a while, staring into space, letting what had been said sink in.

"So… do you…do you like him?" asked Serena looking at Blair

"I don't know," replied Blair still staring into space.

Blair sighed and continued, "I don't even know how we got to this place. After it happened, we agreed to put it behind us. I thought everything was back to normal and then Humphrey went psycho on me."

"Dan went psycho, what do you mean?"

"He said all these hurtful things to me, like, how we weren't friends, and everything was a charade and he was done – just like that, like our friendship meant nothing."

"So the APB on Dan from Gossip Girl…"

"Was payback," finished Blair.

"I see," said Serena.

They were both silent for a while, not looking at each other.

"I think Dan was probably a jerk because he was scared. Something or someone must have spooked him. Before he said all that stuff to you, did you say anything mean beforehand?"

"No, I was actually being nice. I offered to set him up with someone."

"Oh gosh, Blair!"

"What?"

"How would you like it, if someone you liked and kissed, decided to set you up with someone else?"

"I'd be more appreciative than Humphrey was, and, at least thank them for going through all the trouble."

Serena looked at Blair in amazement and shook her head; Blair's delusions on reality never ceased to amaze Serena.

"It's obvious Dan likes you; he told the whole of New York. If you like him then let him know. I'm sure you guys can work things out," said Serena with a softer tone to her voice.

"But what about the code of not dating your friend's ex?"

"B, for what it's worth, you have my blessing. Screw the code. We're sisters, right? What's mine is yours and vice versa."

"Do you know how gross that sounds?"

Serena paused, "Eww, now that you mention it."

Blair covered her face with her hands and shrieked in mortification," I must be in hell! I'm taking lessons on how to court Dan Humphrey!"

"Well, that's what happens when you develop low rent tastes," teased Serena.

"You're never gonna let me live that down, are you, S?"

"Making you squirm is way more fun!"

"So, how come you're so okay about everything? If it that was me, I'd make you sweat for it."

"I'm not, not really. It still hurts a little, but I love you and I want us to get past this. That day on the roof, I promised to be there for you and I meant it. Dan and I are not together, we kinda have this brother-sister thing between us now, thanks to our parent's engagement. And, I guess that this finally makes us even on the Nate thing."

Rufus opened the front door after repeated knocks to find Blair Waldorf on their doorstep.

"Hey, hi Blair!"

"Hi, Mr. Humphrey. Is Dan in?"

"Yeah, he's in his room listening to depressing music. Go in and say hi, maybe it will make him stop playing that awful stuff," said Rufus, smiling at her in encouragement.

Blair walked past Rufus into the loft, making her way to Dan's bedroom door.

As she put her hand on the door knob, Rufus said, "Blair, tell Dan I'm spending the night at Lily's. Good luck in there."

Blair nodded. Rufus then grabbed his coat and left.

Blair stared around the room nervously, remembering the night she'd come here to make the deal with Dan. She momentarily steeled herself to have the same courage she'd had that night and then pushed down on the door handle and entered Dan's bedroom.

"Dad, I told you, I'm not in the mood for another pep talk," said Dan, turning down the music but still facing his computer.

"Is that how you greet guests, Humphrey?"

"Blair?"

"No, I'm a figment of your teenage fantasies."

She sat down on the bed, facing him, laid her purse gently beside her and crossed one leg behind the other delicately.

"So, I read your article…Very insightful."

Dan looked around the room uncomfortably, unsure of how to respond.

"Why do you like me, Dan? What is it about me, that makes you like me? What inspired that article?"

Dan turned to look at Blair and replied, "Very subtle Waldorf. Why does one like someone?"

"I'm asking the questions here, Humphrey. So…tell me, why do you like me?"

"Well, I like you because you are beautiful…" started Dan

"Very shallow, and I can get that off any greeting card. I need more than that."

He smiled at her comment and tried again. "I don't know…this is new to me…it's not something that I have fully quantified or identified. But, what I do know is that I enjoy being around you, even when you are being a pain in the, you-know-what. And somehow, all that pain is worth it, just to be around you.

"You can…you can be extremely sweet, in private especially. When you're excited, you act like a little girl and it's so infectious that everyone around you becomes excited too. You're not afraid to express your feelings or call me on my shit. You make me want to be a better person; you inspire me to be a better person.

When you're not around, I miss you a lot, to the point of pining. I think I finally began to clue in - or maybe I realized that I was sick in the head - when I started finding your plotting and vendettas sexy."

"God, ramble much?" Despite her joking tone, Blair was obviously impressed.

"Please, I'm totally adorable," replied Dan jokingly and more confidently.

Dan got up from the chair and walked towards the bed. He bent down in front of Blair and clasped her hands in his.

"So…how do you feel about me?"

"Very subtle Humphrey. Why does one like someone?" she parroted back at him.

Dan laughed, "I guess I deserved that, but I just gave you an excruciating ramble describing my feelings. Take pity on me."

"I like you too, Humphrey."

"And why do you like me?"

Blair laughed and added, "Because I'd rather be here than anywhere else."