Chapter 14

Edward's POV

We lay there in silence for a while, Bella's warmth radiating off her skin and soaking into my cold, stone body. Her silkiness was pure heaven, enhanced only but the delectable aroma of her arousal that still hung thick in the air like the sweetest of perfumes. But I couldn't enjoy any of it. I was too distracted by the pure horror of what had just transpired by my hands. What had gotten into me? I should have never reacted like such a…a…

The word you are searching for is jealous teenage prick. Ok, technically that's three words, but you get the point.

I frowned at my inner chidings, knowing full well that they were one hundred percent on point. No matter how many times it happened, I was always surprised when my inner teenager broke free in reaction to something Bella did. Or said. Or when she simply breathed in my direction. I sighed. For the millionth time since I met her the realization sunk in just how done for I really was.

But to be reduced to someone who tears our room apart in a fit of jealous rage. Who had the gall to be angry at the woman I was going to marry in just seven short (and yet excruciatingly long) days for getting a massage of all things, in order to unwind from the undue stress of a wedding I had impressed upon her. And from yet another supernatural death threat that lurked in the shadows brought into her previously innocent life by my presence in it. And worst of all, to have behaved like a depraved Neanderthal, tossing her around as I had. Ripping off her clothes and treating her like my own personal sex toy. I was beyond ashamed of my actions. She would be well within her rights to never speak to me again, let alone allow me touch her.

"What's wrong, Edward?"

I looked up into two very tense pools of milk chocolate and immediately felt my icy body melt. If it were possible, I would be a puddle at her feet. It was all I deserved to be at this point.

"I don't know what came over me. I should have never…there are no words." I was so disgusted with my appalling behavior I couldn't bear to look at her. I covered my face with my hands to shield from what would surely be her disappointed eyes. Coward that I was, I knew I couldn't bear to see that, so I hid.

"Edward, I…but we just…and you…" her voice was tight and I waited for her anger to abate.

I clenched my teeth and felt the self loathing rise up from its familiar hiding place and root itself deeply within my mind. I tried to shake it free but Bella's rapid breaths and the heat from her intense blush reminded me of all I had just done to her. Of the animal she'd had to deal with.

"Don't, Bella. It was wrong. All wrong. And you just…" I couldn't finish saying that she was too good, too perfect. That she had just witnessed a part of me that I had always been afraid would break through at the wrong time and hurt her. Or worse. I shuddered at the thought.

I felt the bed shift and rock slightly, instinctively knowing that she was climbing off of it in order to be away from me. To escape the monster that had just tried to ravage her only a week before our vows. Her warmth evaporated from around me and I had never felt so cold, not in a hundred years. The soft sounds of her feet padding across my floor into the bathroom. I couldn't control my whole body flinch when Bella slammed the door roughly. I removed my hands from my face and stared at the closed door. She was right to be furious with me.

I sighed heavily and stood when I heard the shower turn on. Apparently she wanted to wash off after our transgression. Who could blame her? Not I.

Glancing around the room I saw that while I may have tossed things around a bit, I hadn't done half the damage I had feared. After donning a new pair of jeans and tee-shirt, I flew around the room and put everything back where it belonged. My first order of business was to discard the shredded garments. I had the entire room back in pristine order, bed made, shelves reassembled, when I heard the one sound that never failed to shatter my heart.

Bella released a shuddered breath, the intake hitched in her throat before small, nearly silent sobs poured out of her. I was in the bathroom and yanking open the frosted shower door before I could even register a single thought. She stood huddled in the corner, hot water cascading down her gorgeous curves in soft waterfalls. One arm was wrapped firmly around her waist, hugging tightly, while her other hand was clamped firmly over her mouth. Her eyes were squeezed shut and I watched in horror while huge tears leaked from the corners of her eyes and joined the spray from the shower on her beautiful, pained face. I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach and then rent in two. To make matters worse, her pose and the pain she plainly wore immediately reminded me of the visions that Jacob and Charlie had shown me in their minds in the months that followed our return from Italy. I had never wanted to see her in that much pain ever again, especially because of me.

"Oh, Bella," I choked out and reached for her. Her eyes flew open in surprise and she recoiled from my outstretched hand the way one would from a poisonous snake.

"Don't you dare touch me, Edward Cullen!" She spat angrily, heat rising up to stain her cheeks and neck.

I was taken aback by the sheer venom in her voice, though I knew it was more than warranted, given what I had just subjected her to. I pulled my hand back slowly but kept my eyes locked with hers. Anger, hurt, sadness, and uncertainty swam in their depths. I had no idea which emotion to address first. She helped me out with that by sticking with anger.

"What, now you can look at me? Now the sight of me naked isn't appalling to you?" Her voice shook along with her body as she tried to cover her nakedness with her arms. I was instantly dumbfounded.

What was that? Appalled by the sight of her? Has she lost her mind?

"Bella, I've never been anything other than completely in awe of you. Of every part of you. How can you not know that after all this time?" It was a question I had asked her before when her reactions or assumptions of my feelings for her were way off course. But this was beyond off course. This was on a whole other planet.

She shook her head and I could see in her expression that she didn't believe me. I turned and grabbed a thick, blue towel from next to the sink and reached into the shower to shut if off. Steam swirled around us, laced heavily with the scent of her and mixed with the salt of her tears. I reached for her again, carefully this time, and was relieved when she didn't flinch away from me. I wrapped her in the soft, fluffy cotton and then moved to lift her into my arms. She froze and the look in her eyes told me she wasn't about to let me hold her. I nodded in understanding and stepped back, allowing her to pass by me and head back into our room. She froze in the doorway, looking around slowly.

"How long was I in there?" She gave me a questioning look, but I refused to be distracted. I shrugged and guided her over to the bed. She sat rigidly on the very corner, as if touching the mattress at all was offensive to her.

"Would you like me to leave so you can get dressed?" I offered quietly. She seemed to be under the impression that I didn't want to look at her, but I didn't think gawking at her nude form like some perverted voyeur would help our situation any.

"No, I'd rather just get this over with now," she whispered and her eyes filled with tears again. I longed to sweep her up my arms and hold her for the rest of our lives, telling her every second how much I loved her. How much I needed her. But out of respect for her earlier request, I didn't touch her.

"If that's what you want, Bella." I tried to keep my voice from breaking and in return it came out sounding hollow, even to my super sensitive ears. She shuddered before her eyes snapped up to meet mine.

"How can you be so cold after…" her voice broke into a shuddered sob and her shoulders shook while she tried to hold it in. She bit her lip firmly while fresh tears leaked from her wide eyes.

Her tears, her pain, the way she looked at me like she didn't even know me, it broke me. I closed the gap between us and hit my knees. I had been prepared to beg for her to take me back after I had been a foolish ass and went away, and I was more than prepared to do the same thing to make her forgive me for this. She had to forgive me. I couldn't live without her. She was the reason for my existence.

"Bella, love, I'm so, so sorry. Please forgive me! I never should have treated you that way. I was a despicable, deplorable monster. I had no right to get jealous of that man for touching you. I had no right to force myself on you the way I did. To manhandle you in such a way. Please, I swear I will make it up to you if you give me the chance. I will spend the rest of eternity making it up to you if you'll only allow me-" Her hand suddenly shot up and covered my mouth. My eyes had been glued to her hands, which rested in her lap, but I was so relieved she wanted to touch me that I didn't stop her.

"Stop!" she commanded in a strangled voice. When I looked up into her eyes they were surprised and very confused.

"You…you think I'm…mad at you for…what we did? That I didn't want it? That I didn't like it?" She seemed incredulous. As was I.

"Aren't you? I had no right to subject you to such barbaric treatment. I didn't hurt you did I? Oh, God, please tell me I didn't hurt you, love. I don't think I could live with myself if I-"

"Edward, stop!" she cut me off again, eyes wide. She huffed out a humorless laugh and shook her head sadly, wiping away the remnants of her tears with the back of her hand.

"I don't understand. In the shower, you were so upset. If not because of what I did, than what was it?" I was almost afraid to ask, but I couldn't NOT know. I was always looking for a peek into her silent mind; this instance was no different.

"I was so…happy isn't quite the right word…ecstatic that you had finally let your guard down with me. Not treated me like I was made of the most delicate glass. You were…passionate…no, you were more than that. It was like nothing I had ever seen in you before and I felt so desired and loved and wanted. So of course, it's something you regret completely and I that I should never expect to see again." Her voice was so sad at the end that I was afraid she was going to start crying again. Beyond that fear, I was completely floored by what she had just said.

"You…enjoyed that? You didn't feel scared, or mistreated, or angry at the way I acted?" I couldn't believe it. It just…couldn't.

"No, not until afterwards when you got all distant and wouldn't look at me. You made me feel like I had done something wrong. Like I was…dirty." She whispered the last word so quietly that human ears wouldn't have been able to pick it up. But to mine, it was like she had screamed it. If I was capable, I would have thrown up. I reached up and gently stroked her cheek. Her blush deepened slightly but she wouldn't meet my eyes. Eyes that now pricked with tears I was unable to shed.

"Bella, please forgive me. I never, ever meant to make you feel that way. I could never think such things about you. Don't you understand? It's never you that I am upset with when things go unexpectedly. When I react in ways I think you shouldn't have to deal with. It's me. It's the evil part of me that I had always hoped to hide from. A side I never want you to see." Bella's eyes flashed and finally met mine. Without any hesitation she reached down and firmly grasped my chin, bringing our faces within inches of one another.

"You listen to me, Edward Anthony Cullen." Her voice was low and soft, but there was an edge to it I'd seldom heard her use. "I don't ever, EVER want to hear you say that ANY part of you is evil ever again. Do you understand me? I don't even want you to THINK such an absurd thing! Do you hear me?"

I nodded, not knowing what to say to her sudden burst of fervor. It clearly wasn't enough for her because her eyes narrowed into slits and she inched closer to me. I could feel her warm breath wash over my face and I revelled in her scent as I breathed in deeply.

"Promise me, Edward. Never again."

"I promise," I whispered, but I knew she heard me.

Her eyes burned into mine with such love and devotion that I felt my head swim with emotions. I truly didn't deserve such an angel. She belonged with someone as good as she was. Someone just as angelic. Instead fate saw that she was landed with me. Her guardian vampire. It was a cruel irony that I would forever be grateful for. In no other way could I ever expect for such a beautiful goddess to ever deign to be with such a lowly creature as me.

Her eyes were suddenly dimmed as her sadness returned. She released my chin and placed her scorching palm on my face. I sighed, leaning into her touch, but was immensely concerned by the pain in her eyes.

"You regret it, don't you? This afternoon."

I thought on it for a moment before answering her truthfully. "Yes and no. There are aspects of how I behaved, trashing the room for example, and tearing off your clothes, that I wish I had controlled. But I don't regret our intimacy, my love. I have never regretted that, no matter the circumstance." I smiled at her, trying to reassure her. She smiled back, but it faltered a bit.

"Talk to me, Bella. Tell me what you are thinking. I promise I won't be upset." And I would do my damnedest to keep that promise. I had put her through enough today with my bi-polar-like personality flaw.

A blush blanketed her entire upper body until it disappeared beneath the towel that was still wrapped tightly around her body. I waited as patiently as I could while she traced the pattern along the side of her makeshift garment. But after nearly three minutes of silence I couldn't take any more.

"Love," I encouraged her gently. She sighed heavily, reluctantly meeting my extremely curious gaze.

"It's just…when you 'manhandled me' as you called it, I…I loved it. I've never seen that side of you before. I'd always hoped one day you would want me as much as I want you…as…desperately," she rushed the words quietly, tripping over them and struggling through her explination as if it highly embarrassed her having to actually say it out loud.

Then a small smile played at the corners of her lips. "I've seen you jealous before, but you were different this time. I wish I would have known that getting a simple little massage could evoke such a reaction. I would have gotten one ages ago."

I growled at the thought of some man having the privilege of running his hands all over MY Bella's body before I had ever given in to the devastating desire myself. I felt the familiar flicker of jealousy ignite within me but it was abruptly extinguished when Bella giggled above me. My eyes shot up to hers and she quickly bit her lip to contain her laughter. It occurred to me that she had been trying to bait me just now, and she had succeeded fully.

"You know, it's considered to be very dangerous to provoke a vampire," I growled playfully at her.

"Pfff!" She rolled her eyes and waved a delicate hand dismissively. I sank back onto my haunches and narrowed my eyes at her bravado. Beneath the towel I heard her heart rate pick up slightly.

"You of all people should know how hazardous such a mistake can be," I purred wickedly, arching an eyebrow at her.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Edward? You. Don't. Scare. Me." She said the last few words very slowly. Her dark eyes locked with mine and a slight smirk pulled up the corner of her delicious, pouty lips.

With a loud snarl I lunged at her, wrapping my arms around her protectively as we tumbled across the bed, landing up near the pillows. Her laughter rang around me the moment she became airborn and it made my heart soar. I laid there with her secured to my chest and listened to the quiet thrumming of her settling heart. She continued to giggle for a minute more before leaning up and placing a soft, warm kiss on the edge of my jaw.

"So, you really weren't upset with me? You don't think I was being disrespectful at all?" Such a notion wasn't foreign to me. I knew how much my adoptive family loved one another and yet had been the witness to several smashed pieces of furniture, walls, and even a partially decimated forest. But I had never considered such a thing with Bella, especially while she was still human. But after today I was beginning to wonder if maybe she wasn't quite as fragile as I had always thought.

"Not in the least. Couldn't you tell? I'm not exactly…um…subtle when I'm enjoying myself. Or, more accurately, enjoying you." She smiley coyly and her blush deepened. I felt the now familiar stirrings of my arousal at her display.

"I think that's something we are both guilty of, love," I teased. She giggled and nodded. For the first time since she emerged from the bathroom she looked around the room. A slightly bemused grimace appeared on her lovely face and she stared at me with mock sternness.

"However, I would ask that you keep your temper tantrums under control in the future and not trash our room. I know you can tidy it up in mere seconds, but really, Edward," she shook her head while clicking her tongue at me in reproach.

I sheepishly ran my hand through my hair and chuckled. "Noted, my love, and I swear I will try to contain myself next time. No more inanimate objects will suffer at my hands."

She laughed. "Good. Now, do I have any clothes, or did none of them survive hurricane Edward? Not that Emmett would complain with my new wardrobe. I think he might actually enjoy it more than you," She twisted a little and did a mock modelling pose. I snorted out a laugh before going to retrieve an outfit from the closet.

"Yeah, and I might just have to rip out his eyes if that were the case," I muttered so low I knew she couldn't hear me. I was sure she'd had enough of my juvenile jealous side for one day.

My phone vibrated on the bedside table, drawing my attention for a split second from the endearingly clumsy goddess before me who was trying to get dressed without removing her towel. I chuckled and made a show of turning around so she could dress properly while I answered my phone.

"Hurry up and get dressed. We're on our way." Alice's voice was clipped and very tense on the other end. I was instantly on edge.

"What's wrong, Alice?" Dread had already begun to build inside me.

"Everything. Edward, we have a really, really big problem."

Jasper's POV

The tension in the air was almost palpable. We had reached Washington in record time, all of us pushing our fastest cars to their limits. It was only supposed to be a one day trip at the most. We had gone up to Alaska to finalize the details on the wedding gift for Edward and Bella when things took an unexpected and frightening turn. It had all started off innocently enough. Well, as innocent as our group could be…

A few hours earlier…

"Emmett, I'm guaranteeing that she is going to love it. I swear. Just like I swore to you that your bridal shower gift would prove to be a very tactical error on your part." Alice chided our bigger brother as he hummed and harred over the newly finished product. Uncertainty and nervousness radiated from his massive body, but underneath that was a glowing love that we all shared for our newest addition to the Cullen clan. Even Rosalie wasn't an exception any more, though she kept her feelings very well disguised.

"Relax, Em, Alice is right," I agreed while simultaneously sending a wave of calm over to him. He settled a little, but it didn't completely obliterate his nerves. He frowned at us and turned back to the object being debated.

"I dunno, tiny. It's just not grand enough. It needs to make more of a statement, don't you think?" His brow was furrowed in deep thought. It wasn't a look we saw very often. I chuckled and clapped him on the back good naturedly.

"Not everyone's tastes run to the extreme the ways yours do, bro," I reminded him with a wink. He grinned widely and nodded back at me.

"Yeah, too true. But I just want it to be right, you know? Edward keeps telling us how much she'll be giving up. I guess I wanted to give her something awesome so she wouldn't feel like she was losing out so badly." He shrugged nonchalantly but I could feel the deep sincerity and caring behind his words. Emmett typically came off as a big kid with a dirty mind and even dirtier sense of humor. Which was all true, but there was this side of him, too. He had a depth of love and devotion to our family that rivalled Esme's, and that was saying something. Even without my gift Esme could sense that in him, and she beamed proudly in his direction.

"I'm sure she will love it, as Alice has promised." Carlisle smiled assuredly. Emmett calmed more considerably at his words. Carlisle had always had that effect on him naturally, even when I struggled to with my extra ability. It was just another way the Emmett proved his dedication to the family.

"So, now that we're done here do you think we should go see the Denali's?" Rose asked hopefully.

I knew she was anxious to connect with them again. We hadn't seen them since before Edward had taken off last year. The relationship had become strained between our clans after Laurent was killed by the wolves in commission of hunting for Bella - by Victoria's request. It turned out that one of the sisters, Irina, had become quite besotted with him. She considered him to be her mate even though he hadn't stayed with her up in Alaska. It was what kept them from assisting us with Victoria and her newborn army this past spring.

Next to Carlisle, Rose had taken the discord the hardest. She and Tanya had been remarkably close for two that weren't in the same coven. Rose had even encouraged Tanya to pursue Edward for a time, though it was a fruitless effort. I had always understood his reticence. Tanya's feelings had never been pure or deep, and he couldn't force himself to feel something for a woman that he obviously wasn't attracted to.

But with the wedding invitation there had been a reconnection of sorts. Eleazar and Carmen had readily accepted on behalf of the whole family, telling Carlisle that they hoped it would help rebuild the close ties they'd once had. But soon after Carlisle had received word that Irina refused to attend and demanded that her family didn't either. They'd all tried to reason with her, but she would not listen. She left quickly after that and none of them had gotten word of where she was. Her sisters had mourned the loss but refused to keep away from us any longer. They just hoped she would be back soon.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," Esme agreed.

I began to round up our supplies to put away when I felt Alice freeze beside me. I immediately wrapped my arms around her and waited, looking into her wide golden eyes. Unable to read her thoughts as Edward could I latched onto her emotions as a way to get my own read on what she was seeing. She started off very uncertain and frustrated and I could hear her huff quietly under her breath.

It must have something to do with the wolves again. She can never see them clearly, and having any limitation irks her so.

I patiently waited the vision out as I had countless times before. But I found myself growing anxious as I felt fear bubble up within her delicate little body. She sucked in a breath and flinched before a mixture of anger and deep sorrow pulled her down into dark abyss. Her tiny body quivered in my arms while her eyes cleared and she was able to once again focus on my face.

"What happened, darlin'?" I was aware that the others were watching as listening intently to our conversation.

"It's Bella. Something's changed. She's back to going to the reservation, but this time I could see more. She was trying to protect someone there. A human woman with scars on her face." She spoke in that rapid speak she did whenever she was afraid or uncertain.

"That's Emily, Sam's mate," Carlisle provided. He was troubled by Alice's revelation.

Alice only nodded in acknowledgment. "I don't know exactly what happens. It gets all fuzzy, so the wolves must get involved at some point. I just know that when my vision clears again, Bella has been changed. She becomes one of us."

Her words hung in the air like an impenetrable fog, swirling confusion and concern around all six of us. I hugged Alice to me when I felt sadness overwhelm all her other emotions. Along with my arms, I wrapped her in all the soothing love I was so often cloaked in thanks to her. She sighed contentedly against me but underneath her comfort lingered a deep pain I couldn't bear for her to feel.

"What can I do, Alice?" I would do anything to give her relief. I would do anything for her, period.

"She can't be changed that way. It's not supposed to be that way for her. None of the rest of us has any good connection to our change, but Bella was going to. I want that for my sister. I need her to still have that on her terms. I've seen what happens if it isn't." She sounded so forlorn that it tore at my heart.

"She'd be just as miserable as the rest of us were?" Rosalie asked harshly.

Her words disguised her true feelings of fear and unhappiness with what Alice was saying. Of all people, even Edward, I truly believed it meant more to Rose that Bella not have that choice taken from her. Despite her protests at Bella becoming a vampire, and the severe jealously she held for her humanity, she desperately wanted Bella to have the one thing she wished she'd had: a say. Emmett had told me as much on one of our boys only hunting trips. Edward hadn't really bought it, but I knew it was the God's honest truth.

"Hey, I wasn't miserable. I got you out of the whole exchange. Totally worth being a crispy critter for three days," Emmett said with a firm nod and planted a kiss on Rose's forehead. She rolled her eyes but inside she warmed at his words.

"Can you see who changes her?" Emse was deeply concerned and I tried to comfort her. She smiled gratefully at me, giving me a little wink.

Alice sighed and shook her head. "It's all a blur. I keep trying to focus on the vampire involved, but it fades in and out, like someone hasn't quite made up their mind yet who is going to do it yet! I just know that it's going to be done. The same thing with Emily. I can't see who is going to threaten her to make Bella show up, just that it's in someone's plan to go after her. They must be discussing between them which one is going to actually act on their plans, but they're very indecisive. It's really starting to annoy me." She pouted adorably but in light of the situation I found I was unable to enjoy it as much as I usually did.

"When do you see this happening?" Carlisle looked worriedly at her.

"That's another thing, the timeline keeps changing. It could be as soon as two days from now, or it could be after the wedding!" The pout became a full blown scowl.

"What if we go back to them now? Warn Edward not to let her out of his sight until we return and then take it from there? Does that help any?" I felt the array of surprise that it was Rosalie who had made the suggestion. And then the feeling I had been waiting for. Relief, though only a small amount.

"Yes, that helps." Alice focused her eyes but then frustration mounted in her again. She growled loudly and clenched her fists against me. I held her tighter. "But it doesn't change the final outcome. I still see a blur and then Bella as a vampire. What the hell? Who are these freaks who keep screwing with my sight?"

"So we know that someone is planning to turn Bella, but we don't know who or even when. And we know that something is going to happen with Sam's mate, but again, the timing could be off?" Emmett was scratching his head while he tried to put the pieces together. I knew he wasn't criticizing, but Alice was a little sensitive when her gift didn't work quite the way she wanted.

"I am doing the best I can, Emmett McCarty!" She stamped her foot and crossed her arms over her heaving chest while she levelled a deadly glare in his direction.

"Bring it on, pixie." Emmett grinned wickedly and beckoned Alice with two fingers. Alice and I growled at him simultaneously. His grin only broadened.

"Awesome, two on one. I'll bet I can take you both, psychic powers be damned!" He crouched down, preparing to spring when Rose walked directly in front of him, tapping her foot impatiently until he straightened up.

"Not now you ox, we need to get home. Alice, call Edward. We all know he listens to you more than the rest of us." Rosalie cuffed Emmett on the back of his head and rolled her eyes.

I tried to quell Alice's anxiety while she pressed the autodial. Her very brief conversation with Edward offered her no comfort and after she'd hung up we locked hands and sped off to her Porche. Alice floored it almost the entire way, only slowing down to obey the human speed limits when she predicted heavy traffic patterns or speed traps. Rose and Em followed close behind, with Carlisle and Esme hot on their heels.

We'd be home in only a few more hours, but in the mean time all I could feel was Alice's panic. She loved Bella so much and wanted nothing more than to protect her every time danger presented itself. In this case there was a sickening sense of deja vous. Alice had problems with her visions only one time before, with Victoria and her army of newborns. Victoria had been made privy to Alice's gift and had found a loophole around it, rendering Alice almost completely ineffectual when it came to predicting the future surrounding the newborns. I silently wondered if we were dealing with the same situation now, except with new and unknown players. I gritted my teeth against the surge of fear that I wanted to keep from affecting Alice, but couldn't keep my thoughts from mocking me.

Something wicked this way comes…