Masako was at her computer typing as were the other members of the newly formed group named the Special Provision for Kira headed by Near. Near had requested she work on finding Mello while the others were busy with Kira. Besides, he wanted to avoid her having interaction with Light as long as possible. He was building an extensive city made of dice on the long table in front of him when the phone rang.
Steve Mason, the FBI director and creator of the SPK, answered the phone. After the hello there was long pause during which his eyes grew progressively wider as he listened to the garbled, disguised voice.
"Give me the phone, Mason," Near said after a few exchanges.
"This is L," declared the distorted voice.
Near's eyes moved to Masako who was blissfully unaware that he was on the phone with Light Yagami. He watched her intently because that was about to change.
"Nice to meet you L number two," Near stated calmly, twisting his hair. He observed her head pop up and her back go ramrod straight. She was aware of the identity of the caller now.
"Number two? What do you mean by that? There's only one L," Yagami dared to declare.
'Yes, you bastard and you killed him,' Near thought to himself keeping his eyes on Masako as she slowly rose to her feet.
"Who are you?" Light demanded.
"I am the leader of a group developed to catch Kira without the help of L. You can call me N. We know about L's death so there's no need to keep up the pretense," Near informed him. He grasped the hand that she laid on his shoulder. "The CIA and the FBI will now depend on me for their decisions, not L."
Masako was too busy thinking to hear another word that was said. So he did it. Light really took over L's position and stole his name. Did he even know how to create anything of his own? He seemed to be capable only of stealing what belonged to the others including their lives and not excluding their identities.
"Masako?" Near squeezed her hand. He had completed the phone call that was his introduction to the 'new' L. "He needs our help. His sister has been kidnapped. He believes it is the same person who killed the Deputy Director of the NPA and they are going to kill her as well."
"Then help him save her. There is no reason for Sayu to suffer for the sins of her brother," she stated in a low, menacing voice.
"Are you all right?" he asked, looking up at her with concern in his eyes.
"I will be. Eventually. I need to take a walk now," she announced in a calm voice that was devoid of emotion.
"Masa –" Anthony Rester began, moving to go after her to be promptly stopped by Near.
"Let her go. She needs some time alone. She just had unpleasant reminder of her past," Near told him.
Anthony took a deep breath releasing it slowly. He already knew that. Judging by her reaction, there was a whole lot more to her story that she did not tell him. He looked down at the solemn boy gripping his shirt sleeve and decided to do as he asked. Turning away, he paced the stretch of floor behind the bank of computers.
...
Masako sat down on the low brick wall at the front of the building. She had walked until her feet were sore. Her heart ached. Rocking herself to soothe her hurting heart, the tears began to slide down her cheeks. She missed L and she missed her son. Her arms longed for the feeling of her baby in them again; to kiss his cheek and run her fingers through his ridiculously unmanageable hair that was already as unruly as his father's had been. The only trait Hideki possessed of hers was brown eyes. A sob tore from her chest with such force it caused her to grab her heart. It was breaking all over again. She would never ever see L again. At least she had a part of him left in his son.
Masako was startled by a pair of strong arms going around her body to hold her as she fell apart. She glanced up seeing sad blue eyes looking down at her. Her body stiffened and she pushed on his broad chest. A cry of frustration at his stubbornness to let her go escaped her. Her arms felt weak and useless as she continued to struggle against the big, strong man.
"Mr. Rester, I don't think this is – "
"Please just shut up and let me hold you. Just cry, Masako," he whispered to her, his lips grazing her cheek.
Masako gave in. She leaned forward resting her cheek on his broad shoulder. When his brawny arms tightened around her body, drawing her close, she did not resist. Instead, she did as he had told her: she cried. Her body shuddered with the powerful wails that poured from her while the tears flooded down her cheeks and dripped from her chin. She had never really completely grieved for L. She was afraid if she let go of the pain she would be letting go of him. But her body and mind could no longer bear the burden of holding on to the sorrow and hurt.
"I-I'm s-so s-sorry," she stuttered, trying to calm herself. She was mortified for completely losing control of her emotions in the arms of a total stranger. How humiliating.
"It's okay. It's really okay," he assured her, stroking her tear covered cheeks with his thumbs. He kissed her forehead, hearing her gasp.
"Anthony, don't," she begged, her breath coming in loud gasps. She was not sure if her struggle for oxygen was due to her violent crying fit or the touch of his soft lips on her forehead. Her body had responded like any woman's would to a handsome man touching her. She had not been touched romantically since L, and it frightened her.
"You called me Anthony," he pointed out, kissing her cheek. He licked the cold salty tears from his lips.
"Y-yes I did. Mr. Rester, please don't do this," she pled with him, looking into his blue eyes that seemed to glow.
"I'm sorry. I suppose I got carried away trying to comfort you. You're too beautiful to cry like that. I'm sorry for whatever has caused you that much pain. Was it Kira?" he asked, still holding her close to him.
"Yes," she answered, laying her head down on his strong shoulder.
She had to admit to herself that being in his arms made her feel safe and secure. It was different than being held by Near. Near was nothing more than a little brother to her and a big brother to Hideki. There was a comfortable closeness with him that she did not have to feel embarrassed for losing control in front of him. Safety and security was a given in his arms because they were family and they loved each other. Mr. Anthony Rester, however, could be considered temptation on a platter for her and definitely would have been several years ago. He had a large powerful body and all American good looks. He was a living cliché but an attractive one with virility and sex appeal to spare.
"Who did he take from you?" he asked, sliding his fingers through her curly hair. He liked the feeling of her bouncy curls in his palm and continued to play with them.
"Would you stop doing that? I feel like a toy. You're playing with me," she accused teasingly, immediately lowering her eyes as a dark blush crept across her cheeks.
"Now, who's being inappropriate Ms. Lawliet?" he shot back with mock offense.
They both chuckled briefly and he lowered his hand from her hair. He flattened his palm against her back, pulling her toward him.
"Forgive me," he murmured, lowering his lips to hers. He decided to ask for forgiveness now and forego asking for permission ever to kiss her because he already knew she would never grant it.
Masako made a squeaking sound that was a mixture of surprise and protest when his lips met hers. She did not fight him which she already knew would prove to be useless anyway. Her hands went to his face, holding his finely sculpted jaw in her palms. The kiss felt nice. It was sweet and slow. Thankfully he ended it without pushing toward something more passionate.
"Mr. Rester, you're a very nice man and you're incredibly attractive, but I can't. The person Kira took from me was the real L. I'm the mother of his child. I'd like to think L would have been my husband and we would be a happy little family if he had not been murdered," she explained, smiling sadly at him as he stared at her in shock.
"Oh, no wonder. I'm so sorry," he apologized, kissing her forehead. He released her from his arms, standing up. "I'm sorry."
"It's all right," she assured him, meeting his kind gaze.
"Are you coming back in?" he inquired, offering her a shy smile.
"Not yet. I need a little more time."
"Okay."
Masako watched him walk away. Releasing the breath she had been holding, she shook her head vigorously to clear her mind. No more investigative romances – EVER! She lingered for several more minutes before returning inside.
...
Near was sitting on the floor in his usual half crouch positioning his action figures. He was playing out a scenario for the upcoming mission to save Sayu Yagami. His eyes followed Masako as she walked past him to go upstairs. Forsaking determining the possible outcomes for now, he dropped the figure in his hand and trailed after her. He could always come back to that later. He did not sleep much anymore since they had come to the United States to begin the Kira investigation in earnest. Opening the door without knocking, just like he usually does, he saw her sitting on the edge of the bed crying.
Masako opened her arms for him, and he obediently came to her. She pulled him down on the bed beside her and into her arms.
"What is it?" he asked, holding her trembling body in his arms.
"I'm just having a hard time dealing with it today. If I let go of the pain, will I be letting go of L? Will I be betraying his memory? Will I lose my desire to kill Light?" she inquired, pressing her forehead to his.
Near was not sure what she was talking about with her first two questions but the last one he understood perfectly. He knew he was completely inept with emotional matters, especially those of a woman. Somehow he knew he was not much different than any other male in being totally mystified with the emotional peculiarities of women. His hands moved to her face and he nuzzled his nose against hers. Some of her tears rubbed off on his cheeks which she reached up to wipe away with her shaking fingers. His body responded in its new bizarre and sometimes disturbing way when her fingers drifted across his lips. The dull throbbing started as blood rushed to the area between his legs, filling it up and making it grow. He pressed his lips to hers, allowing them to linger until she reacted in some way. He held his breath when she kissed him back. She was kissing him like a woman would a man and his arms encircled her tightly. A pulsating ache pounded through him causing him to moan. Unfortunately, the sound broke her from her reverie of kissing him and snapped her back to reality.
"Near, I'm sorry," she gasped, pulling away.
They were both momentarily stunned by what had just happened. 'Oh, my god! He's just a child for god's sake!' her brain screamed at her. Feeling the heat of shame cover her face with the thought that she was taking advantage of a mere boy, she stood up to walk to the window.
Masako winced when she felt his hands on her back moments before they slid around her waist. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply when his head pressed into her back. He was actually shorter than her by several inches despite her being short even for a woman. This in itself also prevented her from seeing him as a grown up.
"I love you," he whispered, hugging her gently.
"I love you too, honey," she rejoined, not wanting to turn around to face him as he pulled on her shoulder. "Near, please don't do that again."
"I was just trying to show you I love you. I'm sorry if I went a little too far. You know I'm still quite unaware of social boundaries," he said in excuse trying to cover up his purposeful actions with feigned ignorance.
Masako smiled and kissed him on the forehead. He was so much like the man she loved dearly even now in his death. She sighed and laid her head on his shoulder, enjoying the comfortable embrace with which he held her.
"Despite what you think, I'm no longer that thirteen year old child you meet so long ago," he told her.
"Near, you're five years younger than me and you still play with toys. How could I think otherwise?" she laughed lightly.
"You know that helps me deliberate matters to a fuller extent. It's easier to visualize by seeing and touching objects to assist with thinking things through rather than to just let the thoughts aimlessly wander through my brain. That's how I reason things out," he calmly replied.
He decided to switch subjects instead of continuing to argue about this. If she was going to accept him as a man or anything more, it would have to be on her own terms. What would be the point of coaxing a reluctant woman into a relationship she was not sure she wanted to be in or was ready for? Now was not the time for this sort of thing anyway and he knew that. There was something important she needed to know.
"Light is coming to Los Angeles. Once he arrives we will put the plan into motion to rescue his sister," he told her. "I don't want you involved with this in any way."
Masako allowed the glut of emotions to make her go numb. There was too much overpowering ire and loathing to permit herself to feel it all. He's coming. Light would be within her grasp, but she would have to wait for the right time.
"Do you know what you're going to do yet?" Near asked, pushing a stray curl behind her ear.
"Yes. I will wait until the time is right then I will kill him," she stated in the low sinister voice that he hated. The details were something she always kept to herself. She had that faraway look in her eyes as if she had been mentally transported to a different state of being. A creepy little smile of ominous delight lifted the corners of her otherwise pretty mouth. "Near, will you still love me when I'm a murderer?"
His dark gray eyes settled on her face contorted by the animosity she carried for Light Yagami. He swallowed hard to rid himself of the choking lump that had formed in his throat. He hoped one day she could love him half as much as she did L. Sometimes he found himself jealous of the dead man she loved so fiercely. At times like this he was afraid of the woman he loved because she seemed to have an infinite capacity for hate as well as love.
"I'll always love you no matter what," he assured her, embracing her and pressing his face into her neck.
"Good. If anything happens to me, take care of Hideki for me."
"Nothing will happen."
"You don't know Light like I do. I must warn you, if things go wrong during the attempt to save Sayu, he won't think twice about killing her to save his ass and the damn Death Note."