"Holy shit an update?!" Naruto asked, staring in surprise at the newly handed script. "I thought we were done with the friggin' story!"
"How can we be done with the story?" Sam asked, looking exasperated. "I don't want to end this story on a shitty chapter. I was so out of ideas I literally used poop-jokes to update it."
"Poop-jokes? There wasn't a single poop joke."
"The entire story was a poop joke and people loved it." Sam defended. "Check the reviews," the Author smirked, "one weird guy said I should look up A110 Thunderbird, and I loved it."
"Who the hell was that?"
"I've forgotten if I'm honest, I haven't updated this piece of shit since May. Let's see…" Scrolls through reviews and blinks. "Damn, someone almost flooded the review page with Please Update soon."
"Guests… huh." Naruto snickered while Sam rummaged through the reviews till he found it.
"Here we go, its S…Sau…ks… Its San…guiAnima…?"
"I'm tired man, do you realize the amount of work it takes to be in over three hundred thousand stories, over a thousand crossovers and so on… I thought this was going to be done so I can rest. Acting's stressful y'know."
"Oh grow up." Sam said, looking through his plot points. "Besides, I have a lot off untangled threads, I have the Widowmaker plotline, I have your past to deal with, I have Talon doing weird shit, and I haven't even introduced over half the characters of Overwatch."
"I think you're taking this story a bit too seriously."
"That's the fucking problem!" Sam leaned in whispering to Naruto. "Is cursing allowed on a T rating?"
"I don't know… probably."
"Screw it! I wanted this to be an attempt of writing lazy fanfiction, you know, the story where I don't have to give a crap about character development or plot or anything other than to just laugh."
"Just like Bleach." Naruto quipped.
"Oh ho ho ho, my, you did not just do that."
"Oh I did."
"How does Bleach even," Sam shook his head. "You know what, I'm not going to go into this. Anyways I was saying, I wanted this to be a nice funny romp, y'know like the Marvel movies, and now, what happens at the second or was it the third chapter, I went dark. I literally killed a baby."
"Yea, you went full DC, Hehehehe, oh yea, I was hoping to talk to you about that. That was too much, even for me, even if I didn't do it." Naruto shook his head in wonder. "And that's saying a lot, I have done really dark shit which is not in my characterization from the main series!"
Sam laughed. "Yea, we have uhh, Rapist Naruto, Killer Naruto, Grey Naruto, Dark Naruto, Animal Naruto, and I don't even want to talk about what you and Akamaru have done." Sam whistled. "A lot of Dark fics that suck."
"Most of your fics have a dark Naruto in them, you are not outside the box at all, and they suck."
"They do not! Only three out of the five, correction, are dark, and in my defense, almost all the good ideas are taken! Do you know how long it was since I read an awesome fanfiction, it's been ages, nowadays it's all about wierdos pairing Boruto and Iwabe, or Boruto and Denki."
"Which one do you think has the potential to be the next NarutoxSasuke?"
"Ha! None… You two are legendary. I really doubt there is a malexmale pairing that surpasses you two."
"We call it Yaoi."
"I don't give a fuck man."
"So wait, let me get this straight. This isn't an update."
"Nope." Sam said. "This is just a stylish Author's note made in a comical way that I'm not dead, and an update is coming."
"You're an asshole."
"I know right?!" Sam laughed maniacally.
"You don't do that!"
Sam looked taken aback. "W…What?"
"Update a chapter and get people's hopes up and then place this in there like some heartless asshole."
"What can I say, I'm that awesome."
"Or dumb. Have you even started typing the next chapter?"
"I was done with my exams two days ago! I slept through yesterday and I woke up this morning to assure the world that I wasn't dead!"
"Wow… you're like a hero."
"Thank you, Naruto." Sam began to smile which changed to a sigh after hearing Naruto's snicker. "Sarcasm huh… You know, I can reconsider the harem thingy."
"You'd give me a harem?" Naruto asked in excitement.
"No!"
Naruto's face fell.
"Ha! Look at ya face, Harems suck and makes the story a bit jarring for me."
"Harems exist in real world y'know!"
"Not the way depicted in fanfiction." Sam folded his arms unconvinced. "Look man I have an interview with Time magazine regarding my literary exploits."
"You've written five shitty fics and you think you're George R. R. Martin?"
"I know my stories isn't like, 'A Song of Fire and Ice' but-"
"It isn't."
Sam's face fell. "O…Oh."
"Yea. It isn't."
"Wow… that uh, that says a lot. I think I'm going to do lie down till I'm no longer depressed."
"Yea you do that."
…
So yea, long story short, I'm back!
Dodges the countless number of hateful stones.
Alright calm down! Don't rant, it's your favorite author here.
Pfft!
Shut up Lena!
Well I am done with my exams and I hope to resume updating my stories as usual. I'm so glad I'm done with the exams, it was soooo stressful!
But I'm back and I'm gonna update and update and update as hell. I hope I'll be done with some of my stories, by the time the break is over. I'm using this as a medium to reach all my readers cuz I feel this is the story I've done the most injustice to. So much potential y'know.
But yea, I haven't abandoned it, and I never will, next update comes out in the next three weeks. Go read an Annass chapter if you bored.
See ya in the next three weeks!
…
Pfft! What an asshole…
THREE WEEKS LATER
…
DETENTION FACILITY, BOREHAM CI, LONDON.
"So uh… holy shit." A man in a cleanly dressed suit looked on to the jail occupant. "You look like shit."
"How long did you need to pay my fucking bail?" The shadowed occupant growled in irritation.
"Dad was the one who said we should let you sleep for a while in here. Thought it was hilarious."
"That asshole. You're a shitty lawyer."
"Heh, I know that." The lawyer replied with a smirk. He had light green hair that was styled backwards, wearing a spectacles over his black pupils. "But this shitty lawyer just helped your ass. So, you coming out or not?" The man signaled the police officer to open the cell to which the officer heeded to.
"They fucked me up y'know." The occupant of the cell clenched his fist. "Overwatch fucked me up good."
"It was nothing serious."
"They insulted me."
"Come on man, I think it was your fault." The lawyer let out a chuckle, "You were always that easy to rile up."
"You are free to go." The police officer said to which the occupant scoffed. "Just stay out of trouble."
"Fuck off."
"It seems like you want to stay another night eh?" The officer asked to which the lawyer interceded.
"He's just pissed off, you know how he gets."
The police officer scowled and walked away muttering something along the lines of spoilt douchebags."
The lawyer stepped into the darkened cell and patted the occupants shoulder.
"Come on Annass, let's get ya home."
THE RANGER
…
RING!
The alarm blared even louder than before in the Oxton household and Naruto didn't seem intent on waking up. For a moment it was like he had blocked his ears completely to the noise.
Lena stepped into his room with irritation in her features. If he wasn't going to ever wake up to the alarm, why didn't he just turn it off? She sighed in annoyance and moved to turn it off when she saw his covered frame snuggled under the blankets.
She smiled at his rising and falling pulse, and moved towards the alarm, turning it off.
"Lazy ass." She muttered, before moving out of the room. Closing the door, she wondered how long was left for him before he left for the Overwatch Academy. It was weeks away, but it seemed like it was tomorrow. She wanted Emily to get back in time so the house wouldn't feel as lonely when he eventually left for the academy.
Her phone began to beep, causing her to blink and stare at her phone. It was an alert.
"It's time huh…"
She had to head on to the Headquarters. She thought on whether she could call someone to help keep an eye over Naruto, but she thought nothing of it, not wanting to give an unnecessary headache to someone. Besides, she was confident, Naruto could take care of himself.
Right?
…
Naruto yawned, pushing the blankets off his frame, and staring aimlessly to the distance, sleep still visible in his eyes. He was seen to be wearing noise canceling headphones, definitely the reason why he didn't smash the alarm as usual. He let out a yawn removing the headphones right after.
Today felt weird.
He moved to the kitchen while scratching his butt, still in a daze, to find a note on the kitchen table.
Lena huh.
He read through it with a half lidded gaze. "Uhuh… uhuh… huh…" So… She's out… Which means…
He looked to the rest of the home, a single thought going through his head. He arched an eyebrow.
"I'm… free!" He yelled out, as if he wasn't asleep just a few minutes ago.
This was gonna rock! What could he do? What could he do?!
It was like Michael Jackson's 'Beat It' sprang to life from nowhere, and he began to mimic one of the world's greatest dancers, in a very very bad way. But he didn't care, from his prancing to all the rooms till ending his show stopper on the center table.
…
BACK AT OVERWATCH
Lena looked to her phone looking half lidded.
Right in it was a live feed showing Naruto's dance number, and she didn't know whether to laugh or be pissed, though from her expression, she was heavily leaning on the former.
"Did he really think I'd just leave him like that?"
Oh she was going to have so much fun with this. Sometimes, it seemed like Naruto wasn't even trying to stop her pranks, it was like he was feeding her on a daily basis. Oh she had work to do.
"Hey Winston! Check this out!"
…
Naruto didn't know how to enjoy today, and that made things all the more exciting, oh he was sure to give Lena a headache when she came back. Could he Ferris Bueller the day off? But he didn't know how to drive, so that was a no no.
He quickly rushed to the bathroom and brushed his teeth and took his bath like a good boy. When he was about to start changing he heard the doorbell ring, and he sighed in dejection.
"Oh no. What does she want?!"
He knew it was Lena, probably doing it to mess with him. He sighed in annoyance and dragged himself to the door, the towel wrapped around his waist.
The doorbell rang again and Naruto rolled his eyes. "Yea… Yea… Just hold on a moment."
He opened the door about to give a tongue lashing before what he saw shut him up.
"Uhhh." Right in front of him was a woman with long black hair, and fair skin looking at him with a smile.
Naruto was dumbstruck, because she was drop dead gorgeous, and he didn't expect her, and did he mention that she was gorgeous and gorgeous?
Holy Shit. Holy Shit… Holy Shit… He blinked multiple times, trying to regain his composure. Who's she? Calm down idiot, say something, say something, anything?!
"Uhhh… H…hey." Naruto spoke out, his voice sounding like a nervous squeak. Dammit!
"Hey, Naruto."
Naruto blinked. "She knew his name, but he had no idea who she was. That was rare. He was quite good with faces."
"Uhhh, s…sorry but do I know you?" He asked in puzzlement, rooted in his spot.
The woman's amber pupils twinkled in amusement.
"You don't remember me?" She looked in thought. "Well I guess I was trying to kill you a while ago."
Trying to kill me… Trying to kill me… Trying to kill me…
Naruto searched his brain, for any recent encounters that dealt with hot women, trying to kill him and he came up with only one.
Wait a minute. Remove the blue skin color and…
"No… freaking way…" Naruto looked forward agape, completely rooted in his spot. "A…Amelie?" He asked, not too sure, because that was one hell of a makeover.
"Yep…. The one and only." She laughed lightly at the shock on his face. "You're quite…" She blinked as she was enveloped by a tight hug by Naruto. That was quick.
"Holy shit! You're back!"
"Yes I am."
"Holy shit!" Naruto then realized that he was wearing just a towel and was aghast staggering backwards a bit.
"Holy shit… S…Sorry, U…U…Uhhhh y…y…you can make y…yourself at home!" He spoke quickly, out of embarrassment to which Amelie looked like she about to burst out in laughter.
"I'll be right back!"
He disappeared into his room to change into a more acceptable clothing while Amelie was left in the parlor. She moved to the sitting room, and saw a couple of pictures atop the fireplace. Looking through the pictures, she had a wistful smile on her face as she saw Naruto and Lena, joy completely on their faces.
It was… in its way, nostalgic.
Meanwhile while Naruto was in the room he kept ramming his head into the glass walls of the bathroom, "Idiot, idiot, idiot! Man Lena must not hear of this ever! Shit, shit, shit!"
Naruto let out a labored exhale. "Alright come on man, breathe in and breathe out, you were just blindsided. Nothing that can't be fixed." Naruto closed his eyes and kept respiring quickly to try and calm himself down.
"Okay… first thing, your clothes."
…
Naruto stepped into the parlor, noting her looking through the pictures and let out a smile, noting that the once cold look was gone completely, it wasn't easy, but here she was.
"You know, now that I'm not trying to kill people, my mind is in a way, calmer." Amelie said.
Naruto let out a light laugh. "Makes sense."
"You guys aren't related huh."
"I and Lena?" Naruto asked before chuckling, "No, no we weren't."
"I can't believe I actually considered that you were Overwatch's Commander." She turned and looked to him, noting the wistful expression on his face. "Things got way out of hand."
"And we have Talon to blame for that." Naruto moved towards her. "In a way, I was something like you." He said, looking in thought, before shaking his head, clearing unbidden memories. "So, obviously you got better."
Naruto moved to the kitchen, and began get breakfast that Lena had prepared. Amelie nodded her head, sitting down on a cushion.
"After everything with you, I… it was just flashes, but… I could feel it, you know, memories of it all started flooding back, my life before Talon, and during."
Naruto dropped the tray holding the pancakes tea and syrup on a stool before her while he sat down next to her, listening to her. He noticed the hurt in her eyes, but then again, it felt like she needed to talk about it, and he was all too willing to listen.
"I remembered them all, Naruto. When I was in Talon, they kept wiping my memory after each kill. They never intended for me to develop a conscience, and so I could go on and kill a family, slowly… methodically, and I'd feel… nothing. After I woke up and Winston had begun rehabilitating me, I remembered it all, and my mind was in shambles."
Naruto looked to her, paying rapt attention.
"I…" She looked in thought, letting out a wistful smile. "I would have killed myself if not for the fact that I remembered what you had helped me to do. When I woke up, Winston was there to help me, and so far, I've been trying to find my place." She let out a brief smile. "Now that I don't recognize the world anymore. Gerard is gone, my home is destroyed… it's like a new life."
"Yea it is." Naruto said, letting out a smile. "As I said before, I was just like you. I… was an experiment, since when I was a baby. I was kidnapped from my home and Talon destroyed it I guess, I don't know, no trace of my family has been found."
Amelie looked stunned. So young…
"I don't know what they wanted to do with me but, I'm guessing you don't know huh."
"No…" Amelie looked him empathetically. "No I don't. They really are good at keeping things close to their chests. Information is given only when necessary."
"Well, all is good I guess!" Naruto gave a slight chuckle with his eyes closed, if he was bothered by it he didn't show it. "Winston saved me along with Lena and… well, let's just say things have been good."
"Yea." Amelie smiled remembering the pictures of him and Lena. "They turned out alright."
"So was it Winston who told you where to find us?"
"Yea. I should have come days ago, but I wanted to be sure that I was alright."
"Alright? You look freaking amazing!" Naruto said, laughing a bit. His laugh was infectious as Amelie chuckled along with him.
"Thanks, but I knew that already." She said, prompting Naruto to shake his head while laughing. The two individuals talked through breakfast, the day not as rugged in the household as Naruto would have intended. Lena was saved by this one.
…
"I wanted to thank you." Amelie said, to which Naruto blinked in confusion.
"For what?"
"For risking your life to save me."
"Oh that."
"Yes, Winston told me how dangerous it was, and considering my previous mindset, anything could have happened over there. He also told me that you were the only one compatible with the machine, which was why only you could do it."
"Really?"
"Why did you help me? When you could have ignored me and still, your life would have proceeded as smoothly as it had. You didn't know me, and I didn't do anything to earn your trust or loyalty. It's confusing to be honest."
"Well I…" Naruto began but halted, closely watched by Amelie. "I don't know. At that moment I… I just went in head first y'know. I heard of your story, and I wanted to help, 'cause I felt we could understand each other right?"
"You were scared." Amelie said in realization, looking at Naruto who blinked.
"W…What?"
"You look at me and wonder, if you're going to turn up exactly like me. Considering Talon had taken both of us."
Naruto's expression went from stunned, to withdrawn.
"You wanted to save me." Amelie continued with a smile, while placing her hand on his shoulder. "To prove that it was not too late for you."
"I…" Naruto sighed and closed his eyes in thought. "Lena keeps assuring me, Winston keeps assuring me." Naruto said, opening his eyes. Amelie noted the vulnerability in his features. "But I don't know… they don't understand, it's… I don't want to wake up one day and not recognize myself." Amelie nodded in understanding. "I know you understand, 'cause you've been there. And despite the fact that you were able to come back, what makes it possible, that I would? This peace… could all end, and no one would be there to save me."
"After all you've done for me?" Amelie commented with a smile. "I'd save you, even if it meant risking my life."
Naruto looked to her, not finding the words to say.
"I'm sure Lena would to. She cares for you, you know that right."
"Even more than she cares for herself." Naruto let out a defeated chuckle. "Thank you." Naruto said in gratitude.
Amelie just ruffled his hair. "It's incredible that you're so young but, you've been through so much. And I can share what's on my mind and not be bothered."
"I'm glad to also. You… understand me." Naruto said with a whisper. He looked to her. "So, what are you going to do now?"
"When I was with Gerard I didn't really have much skills, but now, I don't know, staying cooped up in a home wouldn't do it for me."
"Have you thought about joining Overwatch?"
"Winston suggested it. I don't know…" she trailed off.
"You should!" Naruto said in excitement causing her to blink. "It's awesome! And you get a new code name because your previous one was kinda…" Naruto scrunched up his face prompting a twitch from Amelie.
"Hey, I picked that!" She retorted in defense.
"I'm not saying anything, just you know, I'm sure you wouldn't want to go by that again."
"Hmm." She gave a thought. "Well, you kinda right."
Naruto grinned. "Heh… Yeah."
"Why don't you help me then?"
"Yeah, that's a bad idea…"
"Why?"
"'Cuz uhhh, I sorta give shitty names."
"I'm sure it wouldn't be that bad."
"Oh it would."
"Huh, alright then." Amelie looked in thought relaxing into the cushion. Considering I'm a sniper buff now, how about… the Ranger?"
Naruto looked to her with a stunned expression. Amelie got nervous.
"W…What? Is it not good?"
"That's fucking awesome."
"Really?"
"Hell yeah, finally, one that makes sense! You snipe hence the ranger cause y'know long range. I'm gonna bite Lena's ear off with this."
Amelie laughed out while she saw the kid before her. It was just fun being around him.
For her, it was time to look to a new world, a world without Gerard, a world without her old family, a world without her home. And despite the fact that it seemed bleak, it damn sure felt exciting.
The Widowmaker was gone, and the Ranger was here.
…
Phew! Well here you go, Widowmaker's arc is sorta over. To all the shippers, yeah I wouldn't be doing NarutoxWidowmaker. I think them being future teammates might open up a chance but as of now… nope!
So what did you think of her new code name?
Review!