Hey guys, sorry for the late chapter, just had a bit of writers block. Thank you gypsy rosalie for reviewing

Chapter 14

'It's so nice to meet the rest of you,' Alex's counsellor smiled politely at the seated family. 'I'm very proud of Alex for opening up to you about what she's been going through.'

'We're happy that she opened up to us and we're disappointed in ourselves that we made her feel like she couldn't talk to us,' Phil blurted out, feeling like he had to say something. 'Thank you Doctor Bryant, for helping our daughter.'

'It's my pleasure, Alex is an intelligent young lady, it's a shame to see her mind being tied up with mental illness when it has so much intellectual potential.' Dr Bryant smiled kindly at Alex. 'So I just want this to be a safe place for you to talk, and ask me any questions. I'd like to see the family dynamics in play.'

'Well everyone was very supportive when I spoke to them about my depression,' Alex started, seeing that everyone was sitting there with blank looks on their faces.

'Okay, what was going through all of your heads when she told you?' The counsellor asked. Phil felt his wife squirming uncomfortably next to him as she thought of her response, and so he answered instead.

'Well, even though Alex has been quite reserved over the last year or so, we were quite surprised when she told us,' Phil admitted. 'I guess we just assumed she was caught up with school work.'

'Often parents who have children who are quite independent find it hard to ascertain whether changes in their kids are warning signs or just part of their development.' Dr Clancy sympathised.

'Is she going to get better though?' Luke asked, looking at the doctor insistently.

'Yes, your sister is a strong young lady, and it seems as though she has a great support network to help her through it.' The doctor smiled kindly. 'If I could recommend one thing it would be that you start having weekly family sharing time. The idea is that all of you can talk comfortably about times when you might have felt stressed or undervalued by another member of the family and then you can talk about how everyone can chip in to help. This will help all of you to communicate better with each other and help you to keep an eye on the family's stress level so you can promote good mental health.'

'Yep, we can do that,' Claire took out pen and paper and began to take notes.

'Honey,' Phil patted her hand to bring her attention back to the session.

'So Alex, why don't you tell your parents about the way you feel, this is a safe space.' Doctor Bryant smiled encouragingly.

'Well, I guess I just feel sad, all the time, and misunderstood,' Alex sighed. 'I'm unable to explain why, or what, all I know is that these feelings wash over me, and soon enough I feel as though I'm drowning in a pool of self pity, and self hatred. I've always prided myself on being the smart one in the family, because that gives me a sense of having a role to play, but when I remind you that I'm the smart one, it's less because I'm bragging, and more because I'm trying to remind myself of my role, of my worth in the world.'

'Oh honey, that's terrible,' Claire's face dropped and she reached for Alex's hand.

'It is,' Alex shrugged. 'But I realise that I don't want to feel this way forever; that someday I want to feel confident enough in my skin that I don't have to seek affirmation. I want to be able to put my feelings into words without worrying that people listening are going to think I'm crazy.'

'You're not...' Claire began, but Alex held up her hand.

'I am, and it's okay. I realise that I am crazy and I'm trying to get better. One day I won't be reading into the words and actions of everyone I meet. One day I won't be looking for rejection just to prove my sad ideas of myself right. One day I will be better, and I won't stop until I reach that.'

'I'm sorry that I ever made fun of you,' Hayley couldn't meet Alex's eyes, instead she settled for staring at her knees. 'The truth is I'm a little jealous, you're smart, and pretty, and I'm only pretty. I should've been a better sister.'

'Apology accepted,' Alex swallowed the lump in her throat. 'You did hurt me a lot with the things you used to say, but only because I admire you. As much as you don't want to admit it, you're pretty smart too; you're people smart, and that will get you far in the world.'

'Awww,' Hayley threw her arms around her little sister. 'I just wish I was people smart enough to see what was going on with you.' Phil's lip was trembling as he watched the exchange between his daughters, and though Phil's sensitivity usually earned eye rolls from Claire, she was far too touched by this moment to notice.

'I just need to feel noticed, and a part of the family, and like I'm not being resented for being who I am. I'm not a normal teenager, I like to study, and I hate it when you guys make me feel bad about that.'

'Okay, I'll stop nagging you to get out there,' Claire promised.

'You can study as much as you want!' Phil sobbed.

Maybe this isn't so bad, maybe letting my family know my weakness will be better in the long run. Alex considered the amount of times she'd had an honest conversation with her family; this was the first one she could remember in a long time. Maybe the future doesn't look so bleak, maybe my family will come through.

This was a hard chapter to write, so feedback would be appreciated; review and let me know what you thought. :)