Chapter 14

Lindsay knew she ought to make things easier on herself by sending a note back to Barry via Neal via Sam (at this point, she hadn't said yes to the date yet, so it's not as though she'd be cancelling, per se). She knew going in this time that in terms of insight, she probably wasn't going to gain much following her dates this weekend. She was quite certain that she would still like both Nick and Barry after Saturday, in pretty much equal measure. And she would only feel more invested and more confused at the end of it all.

But just because she wasn't going to necessarily gain immediate clarity, didn't mean that it wouldn't potentially pay off in the future. Lindsay still held on to hope that on one of these dates Nick or Barry might say something off-hand, and while it might not have any meaning right now, perhaps it would resonate with Lindsay sometime down the road. Lindsay could envision looking back on one of these dates and saying to herself, 'See? This was what made me realize now I should be with him and not him.' But even if she didn't learn anything, based on their previous dates, she was positive that she would have a good time regardless of who she went out with, so neither night out would be a waste.

In the end, having a great night out with both guys outweighed anything else. Besides, Barry's note was just too cute for her to cancel on him.

She didn't dress as fancily for her date with Barry as she did last week- she went with jeans and a black top this time- because once again she had no idea what they were doing. But she supposed she should be prepared for anything.

When the knock came at her window, Lindsay was surprised at how excited she was to see Barry again. She definitely didn't get her fill of him in the few brief moments she saw him yesterday at the store.

Climbing out the window, Barry had reached his hand out to steady her, and as soon as she was safely out, he gave her a huge hug in greeting. It felt great. And it reminded her of something.

"So," she said teasingly as she pulled away, elbowing him a little, "I guess I was foolish in thinking that you were just trying to touch my butt yesterday, huh?" She was of course referring to Barry's adept note-passing skills. She tried to make it sound like a joke, but inside she was slightly mortified, instantly regretting she just let those words slip out of her mouth.

"Not even a little," he replied, blushing. "I could have put that note in your hand." He coughed, straightening up a bit. "I'm glad you found it. I was worried you wouldn't, actually." He changed the subject. "You ready?"

Lindsay looked at Barry guardedly. "Sure, for what?" she asked him, bracing herself.

"Bowling?" he asked her, equally as cautious, but with a sly smile.

Lindsay laughed. "Another arbitrary non-athletic competition?" she inquired jokingly, "Sure."

"I'll have you know, bowling requires tremendous athleticism," Barry replied, in a fake haughty tone. But then he turned serious. "It's hard coming up with fun stuff open at this hour," he said. "Especially in Chippewa. I know that the Madison Park Bowl has midnight bowling on Fridays. What I'd really like to do is to take you to dinner sometime," he said, a little wistfully. "But most of the nice places are getting ready to close up right about now." He reached out to grab her hand as they started walking towards his car. Lindsay's arms erupted in goosebumps from his touch.

They headed over to the bowling alley, and they were pretty early for midnight bowling, so they had plenty of time to get a lane and pick out their shoes and bowling balls. Barry got them a couple of beers, though he promised to be careful since he was driving. Lindsay watched him approach with their drinks and an order of French fries to share. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but he looked better than ever. Even with the ridiculous bowling shoes.

After getting their lane, while waiting for the lights to go off and the music to start blasting, they snacked and drank and talked. About anything. Everything. There were no lulls, no weird silences, no uncomfortable pauses.

When the loud music came on and the lights dimmed, however, talking at their distance was next to impossible. They had to scoot really close together in order to be able to speak in-between frames. They were practically shouting in each other's ears, but their bodies were so close in proximity that they were constantly brushing up against each other. Lindsay was thankful for the music.

They had a blast. They talked so much that despite being there for over two hours, they only bowled a game and a half. Lindsay was the one that had the idea this time- in between every frame, they had to discuss alternating "categories". Worst date (Barry's misadventure dating a hippie who refused to shower while he was a college freshman brought tears to Lindsay's eyes she was laughing so hard), their own best feature (when Barry said his was his smile she couldn't exactly argue), best feature on someone of the opposite sex (they both said 'eyes'), etc.

On the final frame, just to make sure things were going as well as she thought they were, Lindsay asked him about his best kiss. Even if he was lying, she was just hoping that Barry would tell her what she wanted to hear, bring up their ice-cream sandwich kiss during their last date.

But instead, eyes never leaving hers, he simply said, "The one I'm going to give you when we get outside." Her stomach fluttered the whole rest of the time that they spent inside the bowling alley.

They took so long changing their shoes and bowling balls they basically closed the place down- they were the last to leave. While she couldn't wait to kiss Barry, she also felt that leaving signified the date starting to end- which she didn't want to happen. When they finally stepped outside, they both looked at his car, isolated from the other employee-driven cars parked in the back of the lot, and Lindsay felt a jolt of nervousness at what was about to happen in there.

But they didn't even make it that far.

Barry urgently grabbed her by the waist and leaned her against the brick wall that made up the side of the bowling alley before going in to kiss her. As soon as his lips touched hers, it brought back memories of their last kiss, but this time he tasted like beer and French fries which amazingly enough was even tastier. But what really made this kiss incredible was that as opposed to being separated by the gearshift in Barry's vehicle, up against this wall so much more of her was touching so much more of him. It was more intoxicating than the beer she'd drank and she ended up groaning in his mouth because it felt so good, which of course made Barry respond even more. Their tongues danced and Barry's arms wrapped all around Lindsay's body but Lindsay found herself far more distracted by the close contact of their pelvises, where she was rapidly starting to ache.

Barry pulled away ever-so-slightly, glazed-over look in his eyes. "I can't wait until Friday to see you again," he whispered desperately. At first Lindsay thought Barry was simply expressing his desire to go out again next week but quickly realized that he was being literal. She could feel his hot breath on her face. "Can I see you before then?" he pleaded.

Breathless, Lindsay nodded. "Me, neither," she panted after a few moments. For a minute, she forgot about calculus; she forgot about Nick. She added, without taking any time to think about it, "Stop by during the week sometime. And, um- this was my favorite kiss, too." She had kept her mouth shut before, not totally certain, but she was sure now.

The rest of the date was a blur; Lindsay only vaguely remembered their drive home, more of their conversation, their kiss goodbye in his front seat. Not compared to that other kiss, anyway.

The next night, Lindsay debated somehow canceling her date with Nick. After last night's date with Barry, the ante had been upped. She just wasn't sure that this date with Nick was going to compete. But at this point she had no idea how she'd get in touch with him anyway. She wondered if she'd be able to turn Nick away once he reached her window. But when Nick knocked later that night, and Lindsay crossed her bedroom to see him, she saw that he was holding another red rose. Instantly, any residual thoughts of canceling or ending the date early disappeared. How sweet.

"Maybe I'll see you enough times that you'll have a whole bunch," he said, shyly handing the rose to her. Lindsay raised the rose to her nostrils and deeply inhaled, its musky odor flooding her senses.

"Thanks, Nick," she said sincerely. She added it to the small glass containing her other rose. It was drooping, but still alive. She'd have to see him a lot more frequently to accumulate a bouquet. Given how well last night went with Barry, she wasn't quite sure how she felt about that yet.

"Where are we going?" she asked him casually, as she carefully climbed outside of her bedroom window. She'd dressed casually again- jeans and a soft lavender shirt- so as to look nice but still be up for anything, including more one-on-one basketball.

"Laser Dome," he replied, grinning. "I thought we'd go there for the late show."

Lindsay laughed. Laser Dome? Sure, for stoned Nick it sounded great, but she was wondering just how entertaining squiggly lines on a ceiling could be for him stone-cold sober. Or her, for that matter.

"I, um, had a pretty lousy time the last time we were there," Nick quickly explained. "I'm thinking it will be a lot better this time." He gave her a wink and reached out to grab her hand.

"Wait, are you sure it's not Southern rock night again?" Lindsay teased him. "Is it Floyd?"

Nick shrugged his shoulders. "I have no idea. The music doesn't even matter. You want to go out with me now, which makes it a million times better already." He smiled at her, giving her hand a squeeze. "Thank you, Lindsay."

She smiled back. His hand felt great. And what a sweetheart! She would be a fool not to go out with him now.

On the drive, Nick and Lindsay chatted about the week. Work was going really well, Nick said, and he was scheduled to have his first drum lesson with his mentor at The Music Box next week. He was getting more hours and had been able to accumulate enough money to pay his dad rent for July, and he figured with his upcoming work schedule he'd be able to cover August in a week or two. His summer basketball league was ending in a couple of weeks, but there were going to be a couple of fun tournaments coming up in the meantime. And all the while, Lindsay looked at Nick in such a new light. His accomplishments this summer were nothing short of amazing. Though perhaps Lindsay felt that way because it was all still somewhat of a shock, since he was with Sara when he first decided to turn himself around, not her. And that feeling made her heart hurt, just a little.

When they reached Laser Dome, Lindsay quickly understood how it was Nick expected things to go so much better this time. Almost as soon as the lights dimmed, Nick leaned over and kissed her softly, tentatively. Kissing seemed like a much better idea than watching lasers. She was suddenly transported to the end of their last date; the sunrise on the lake. And all of the thoughts she'd had since then about wanting to kiss him again.

They kissed. And kissed. It was slow- tantalizingly slow, like they had all the time in the world. The progression from closed-mouthed kisses to open-mouthed kisses to French kisses moved at an excruciatingly unhurried and deliberate pace (though when it finally did happen, the payoff was spectacular). Nick explored her mouth with his, the movement of his lips and tongue making her want more, faster, but he never once pressed things. And every so often, he would stop entirely so that he could smile at her and whisper in her ear.

"This is amazing. So much better than the last time we were here." Nick chuckled. "I'm just so happy that I can sit in the seat right next to you instead of one away. And I could just kiss you all night."

Lindsay's heart sunk at leapt at the same time. She briefly flashed back to their last trip to the Dome, when she had refused to sit directly next to Nick for fear that he would get the wrong idea. They had sat together but alone as being near the back they were practically forced to watch Ken and Amy share their first kisses and Kim and Daniel share make-up kisses, both of which, Lindsay knew, were usually a little more intense than regular kisses. She remembered Nick saying that he would be lying if the experience wasn't torture for him. And she wondered if by being so indecisive and not sharing everything she was feeling right now, she was still torturing Nick, even if he didn't know it. And yet- she was happy to be sitting next to him, too- and she could definitely kiss him all night. Before she could think about it anymore, and only reaffirming her point, she leaned in and kissed Nick again.

Lindsay heard music (it was indeed Floyd), but she didn't see a single laser, as her eyes were closed while she was kissing Nick or looking at him when they were open. They didn't talk a whole lot but she didn't feel the pressing need to- she felt comfortable in his presence from how much they talked on their last date and on their way here, and this wasn't really the setting for that anyway.

Even though one might think the kissing would get repetitive, especially in such a public setting, time flew. Before they knew it, the entire Dark Side of the Moon album had played, the lights had brightened above them, and people began heckling anyone remaining in a liplock. Luckily, they had split apart before the abuse started.

Nick took his time driving her home, and when they reached a few blocks out from her house, he shut the engine off. They were sort of doing things in reverse- now would normally be the time that Lindsay would await a kiss, but since they had pretty much been doing that all night, it somehow seemed more intimate in that moment to talk instead. And there were a few things on her mind that she had been meaning to ask him.

"Hey, Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Nick turned to face her, expression friendly and open. He took her hand. "Sure, Lindsay. You can ask me anything." He gently began to rub at her fingers.

Lindsay took a breath. "Okay," she hesitated just a moment before continuing, "Um, okay, I'll just say it…..why did you stop smoking pot for Sara when you wouldn't for me?" She might as well just get it out there.

Nick let out a long sigh, looking her right in the eyes. "I don't know, Lindsay," he eventually said sadly. "I wish I had a better answer than that. I should have stopped when you asked me. And it's not because Sara meant more to me or anything. I guess- I guess it just took someone else to tell me the same thing you did for me to realize how much of a problem it was?"

"Do you think it's a problem?" Lindsay was surprised. She didn't think Nick had ever seemed apologetic about his habit.

Nick shrugged. "I don't know. It's still not that big a deal to me. But I can look back now and say I was doing it too much, that it was interfering with a lot in my life- basketball and school and drumming- and you. If I thought I'd be fine doing it once in a while, I would. But since I'm not sure I can, I'd rather just avoid it entirely. It's just not worth it." He continued to stroke her hand, starting to smile now. "Especially now that you're going out with me again."

Lindsay forced a smile. But inside, her head was swimming. Was she "going out with" Nick again? Was there a difference between going out on two dates with and "going out with"? And what about Barry? Like their last date, the enormity of what Lindsay was doing to Nick (and to Barry, too, really) was starting to hit her now- that was the problem, she supposed, of seeing Nick second. She needed to get inside and think. She'd had something else she wanted to ask him, but it could wait. She tentatively put her other hand on the door handle.

"Um, I had a great time, Nick, but I'd better get inside," she said. On their last date, Nick hadn't thought ahead enough to try to arrange the next date. She figured she'd leave it up to him. She wanted to see him again, but this was starting to get intense. She wondered if she should take some time to figure out what the hell she was doing.

"Okay. Will I see you again soon?" Well, that didn't take long. He definitely remembered this time. Probably because he knew that she wouldn't be able to call him now.

Lindsay hesitated. She wanted to see him tomorrow. But this whole situation was starting to spiral. "Um- I don't know. Maybe during the week this week. It depends on how my calculus class goes," (and seeing Barry, Lindsay thought). "I can let you know somehow. But definitely Saturday. Right?" she asked him.

Nick shook his head. "I wanted to talk to you about that. Next weekend we have a basketball tournament in the city. If we win on Saturday, we'll be staying overnight since the finals will be on Sunday." He fiddled with the ring on Lindsay's pinkie. "How about Friday instead?"

The last thing Lindsay wanted to do was keep Nick up so late that he wouldn't perform well at his tournament. Plus, that was the night that she usually carved out for Barry. She shook her head. "I think I'm closing that night," she said vaguely, uncomfortably pulling her hand away. She took the lie further. "And we're doing inventory, so I'll probably be really late."

"Bummer. Well, I hope I don't have to wait until Sunday night to see you," Nick replied. "How about Thursday?"

Thursday. She worked the next day but would be finished with calculus, and with her normally seeing Barry on Friday, it shouldn't interfere. "Thursday," Lindsay repeated. "That sounds good. See you then."

They quickly kissed good-night and Lindsay headed into the house. But the moment she got into her room, her heart plummeted to new lows. I just lied to Nick. I'm a liar. She fought back tears. Nick at least deserves someone who will be honest with him. Better than this. Better than me.

Dating two guys at once wasn't all it was cracked up to be.