Sorry for the wait. Blame high school, from which I have just graduated! Yay me!
Thanks to Anne and Pina for letting me bug them about this, and at the demand of the latter, a congrats to her on her new job!
Flipped
"I know you like Sakura," Naruto said, the moment he stumbled in through Sasuke's apartment window. "So you might as well admit it to yourself and to me and save us a lot of trouble. And then I'll be my genius self and be extra-genius-y because that's what it's going to take for her to like you. Because you're a loser and you're frigid, and I had to attack you to get you to kiss her, practically. But out of curiosity, just why do you like her now and are you totally hating yourself for missing your chance and making your very bestest friend in the world have to clean up your mess?"
Sasuke didn't even look up from his mission scroll.
Naruto sighed. This wasn't going to be easy.
But he was nothing if not persistent, so he stomped over to Sasuke, yanked the scroll out of his hands, and leaned down so he could stare menacingly into his annoyed dark eyes, and said, "Hey, guess who I just found in Neji's arms? That's right," he went on, when Sasuke furrowed his brows – then stopped, trying very hard not to look like he cared – "Your ex-girlfriend. You know, that girl you want to make babies with but won't tell her because you're emotionally constipated?"
Sasuke frowned, opened his mouth to argue – so Naruto whacked him with his scroll.
"What the hell, Naruto!"
"Stop being such a loser, loser! Just go tell Sakura-chan you like her so she can dump Neji and you guys can get married and name your first kid after me!"
Sasuke rubbed his temples irritably. "Naruto, there is such a thing as an indoor voice. Why don't you use it?"
Naruto scowled. "Are you stupid?"
"No. Are you?"
"SAKURA-CHAN IS GOING TO MARRY NEJI AND YOU WILL GROW UP TO BE A BITTER CAT-MAN THAT NO ONE LIKES."
Sasuke exhaled. "So what do you want me to do about it? Sakura's free to be with whoever she wants."
Naruto smiled then. A sly smile, lips pulling back from his teeth, blond eyebrows rising over mischievous blue eyes. Sasuke would never admit it, but he was honestly, truly afraid of that smile.
"I want you to trust me."
-o-
He decided to hold off on saying anything to Kakashi yet, because, Naruto knew, Sasuke suffered from a severe case of denial. Just the fact that he hadn't thrown Naruto out the window meant he was recovering.
When they entered Ichiraku, he was startled, but not surprised, to see Neji and his team sitting at the counter. Subtly, he wormed his way between Sasuke and Sakura. The latter frowned at him for interrupting her admittedly one-sided conversation, but Naruto just lifted his chin minutely in the direction of Team Gai. It was important to know what was going on before he took any measures.
Immediately, Lee burst into melodramatic wails. "My beautiful Sakura! Engaged to the heart of someone else!"
Sakura's smile turned decidedly forced. Right. No one else knew about the break-up. She avoided Sasuke's eye very carefully, taking a seat beside Tenten. The other girl was very stiff, she noticed, and wondered why.
"Lee," Neji's deep, quiet voice cut through the tension. "Shut up."
Lee sniffled, but did as he was told, and Sakura looked over at Neji. He was looking at her, expression carefully blank, and she mouthed a 'Thank you,' to him. He nodded, and Sakura flushed, casting her eyes to the napkins in front of her.
Naruto nodded grimly to himself. This just confirmed what he had already suspected. Beside him, Sasuke had his hands clasped before him, so tightly that the knuckles were turning white.
He kept an eye on both teammates throughout the meal. Sakura kept up light conversation with Lee and snuck glances over at Neji every few minutes, Sasuke stabbed irritably at his ramen and cursed to himself when he smashed the bowl, and Naruto was starting to get a headache.
Why couldn't they ever figure things out before it was too late?
-o-
"It's Team Seven Dinner Fun Night tomorrow!" Sakura sang. Naruto made a face at the name, wondering idly why she was so happy, and if it was because of what he thought it was.
"Why can't you just call it a Weekly Dinner, Sakura?" Kakashi sighed. "Sasuke's apartment, then?"
"No." Sasuke shook his head. "I have a mission tomorrow—"
"Aww," Sakura began.
"—With Neji," he finished, not looking at her. Sakura's smile dropped.
"Good." Kakashi took his book out of his pocket. "You can help the mission along."
"Why don't we go out for ice cream today, then?" Sakura asked brightly, still stubbornly fixated on her Weekly Fun Night.
"Yeah, we should discuss, Kakashi-sensei."
"Come on, with chocolate syrup and sprinkles and those sugar-cones…"
"Are you hitting on me, Naruto?"
"Ew. You have scarred me for life. I hope you're happy."
"Sasuke's treat!" Sakura almost-shouted, desperate, and three pairs of eyes turned to her.
"…What."
"No need to shout, Sakura, we're right here."
If Sakura had bothered to take note, she would realize it was the first time she could remember that Naruto was silent. However, she was too focused on yanking Sasuke by the arm, down the sidewalk to the ice cream parlor to notice Naruto's thoughtful gaze on her.
But Kakashi saw. And he hung back, waiting for Naruto to say what was on his mind.
"We have a problem."
"Oh?"
"But I'm going to fix it."
"Of course you are."
"So don't worry."
"I won't."
"Don't you want to know what's going on?"
Kakashi shrugged lazily, lone visible eye crinkling in a smile. "I think I can imagine. Question is, what are you going to do about it?"
Naruto grinned. "What I was born to do."
-o-
Sasuke was busy triple-checking that he had everything the next morning as he headed for the gates. With his luck, he would've forgotten something important, like clothes, and have to go back to get them, while Neji stood at the gates, smirking in that infuriatingly smug way of his.
Sasuke hated big egos, and even he knew how hypocritical he was being in admitting so.
But it seemed he had everything, and he relaxed for a moment, looking up as he neared both the gates leading out of Konoha, and, unlike Hyuuga, someone he didn't really mind seeing.
"What do you want," he said, once he was close enough for Sakura to hear.
"To say bye?" she tried lamely, bouncing nervously on the balls of her feet, hands clasped behind her back.
"Try again."
"Um. To remind you to bring me back gifts."
"No way."
"You're mean."
"I know I am."
Sakura huffed, scuffing her foot against the dirt irritably as she turned away from him. Sasuke rolled his eyes so obviously she couldn't miss it, and she snapped back towards him.
"Naruto wanted me to tell you that he's working on it, whatever it is," she muttered. "He didn't want to wake up, so I offered. I was on my way to the hospital anyways." She shrugged one shoulder, already heading away. "Good luck on your mission."
Sasuke watched her go with a frown. What was up with her?
He kept his gaze firmly on her, as if he could hope to read her if he stared long enough, watched her trudge along with slumped shoulders – until she stopped, straightened, and raised her head.
Hyuuga had finally arrived.
Sasuke couldn't hear what they were saying (and contrary to what Naruto might believe, he didn't care. Not even a little. He cared about as much as he cared about ramen or the color pink. It was so non-existent, his concern for his teammate and the moron she—Okay, maybe he cared a little.), but he could see the way Sakura held herself, hands laced together in front of her, with her head tiled to the side just so so she was giving Neji her full attention.
Sasuke turned away before he saw any more and really, really hoped he didn't try to kill his teammate while they were on their mission. He never failed one, after all.
-o-
Ice cream the night before had been fun. It was back to normal, Team Seven being loud and obnoxious and the way best friends were. Like the last two weeks had never happened, and indeed, Sakura wished they hadn't. She missed being able to sit beside Sasuke and tease him without Naruto staring at her so seriously or whispering to Kakashi when he thought she couldn't see.
She hated being so out of the loop. And she hated the way Sasuke kept ignoring her. It was as if they had rewound six years, with the way he was treating her. She had really thought—hoped—that they had moved past that. That maybe, once he saw that she could get over him, he could treat her like he did Naruto. And he had… for a while. But now he was back to being so aloof and…
He really would make a horrible boyfriend, she thought nastily. Stuck-up, conceited jerk…
"Sakura? Are you okay?"
Sakura snapped out of her daze and spotted Tenten, staring at her with one eyebrow raised. She supposed she made a bit of a sight, standing in the middle of the road, lost in space.
"Hah, fine," she said, giggling nervously. Tenten made her nervous lately, which baffled her to no end. She had always liked Tenten. "What's up?"
"I just had lunch. I was going back to training." Tenten paused, eyeing her thoughtfully. "Do you want to join me?"
It was actually her lunch break, and she was starved, but Sakura didn't really want to say no. for one thing, she didn't often get asked to train by Tenten. And for another… well, she didn't know. But she didn't want to say no.
She shook her odd feelings off, and beamed. "That'd be great!"
-o-
Neji cleared his throat awkwardly, and Sasuke hoped he had a slug caught in it. Then he winced. Why did he think of slugs? And in that stupid Hyuuga's mouth?
"Sasuke."
Sasuke glared. If he even thought about getting Sakura's tongue down there, he would feed him to Manda. And then he'd feed her to Manda for giving him the wrong idea. But he would only feed her to Manda after Hyuuga had been digested, so they couldn't be together in his stomach…
Neji was speaking, probably about the mission, so Sasuke should probably listen. Instead, he was berating himself behind his stoic mask. What on earth was he thinking? Feeding Neji to a snake?
Something was wrong with him. Maybe Naruto had finally driven him crazy.
"…And I hope it doesn't make you uncomfortable. I didn't know if Sakura had told you about it, but—"
Wait.
Sasuke blinked. "What," he asked, trying not to sound interested. Neji looked uncomfortable, and Sasuke smirked a bit, inner sadist surfacing.
But Neji's next words swiped the smirk clean off his face.
"I'm…" He paused, grasping for the right word. "Courting Sakura."
-o-
Tenten was one of the most graceful fighters Sakura had ever seen. She looked like she was dancing, weaving around her with razor-sharp blades and flashing steel. But she was also one of the toughest fighters. Well, training with Gai-sensei did that for a girl, she supposed.
Sparring with her had been a workout, for sure, and Sakura barely had time to scarf down a quick snack before she headed back to the hospital.
So yes, she was hungry. And she didn't really appreciate the staring, she informed Naruto and Kakashi prissily.
"I thought you were maybe making up for Sasuke, since he's not here," Kakashi said.
"Yeah, I thought we're not allowed to have weekly dinners unless we're all here?"
"Well, this isn't a Team Seven weekly dinner. This is just eating," she snapped. She didn't care about Sasuke or stupid traditions right now anyway.
Naruto rolled his eyes, probably remembering the time he held a weekly dinner when she was out of the village. She threw a horrible tantrum.
Sakura ignored them, returning to her memories of that afternoon. Tenten had driven her into a corner, moving so fast and so purposefully that Sakura couldn't so much as pretend to know what she was trying to do.
Eventually, she had pulled back, leaving only the imprint of a blade at Sakura's throat, and turned away.
"Wow," Sakura had gasped, out of breath – but impressed. "You're amazing."
"Thanks." Tenten wiped the sweat off her brow, glancing lazily at her drenched opponent. "I've trained a lot with Neji. He's hard to keep up with."
"I'll bet," she had said admiringly. "I could never hope to keep up with him. You're really something, Tenten."
Tenten had shrugged, chugging down a bottle of water. But she wouldn't look at her, and now Sakura had to wonder why.
She glanced up at Naruto, tapping her lips thoughtfully with her chopsticks. He was laughing at something – probably something in his own head that none of them could ever hope to understand – and Sakura had to smile. He was adorable, and Sakura loved Naruto a lot.
Especially since he usually knew how to make sense of things she couldn't.
-o-
Who even called it courting? Sasuke thought viciously. How could Sakura like such a loser? She used to have such good taste.
"Behind you!" Neji warned, and Sasuke scowled, spinning on the balls of his feet and delivering a blow to his assailant's gut. He knew that! He was a better shinobi than Hyuuga could ever hope to be.
Thinking back, maybe it was a good thing they were attacked. It saved Sasuke the trouble of killing the Hyuuga out of annoyance. Like he even cared he was courting Sakura. She was stupid. He was stupid. They'd make stupid babies.
Dammit.
He cursed, splitting the arm of another nin. These guys were really getting annoying, but at least they were easily taken down.
"Uchiha!"
Sasuke's head snapped up, and his eyes widened, staring into at least thirty new pairs of eyes.
Okay, this could be a problem…
-o-
"Naruto…" Sakura began awkwardly once Kakashi had left for the night, early, as usual. "Um, I need to talk to you."
Naruto grinned. "Oh, I know what this is about. You've decided Neji isn't cutting it for you, and the real man of your dreams is a certain very well-defined blond?" He opened his arms to her. "No words necessary, Sakura-chan. I'm yours for the taking."
As expected, she punched him in the gut without batting an eye. He doubled over in pain, but at least she was over being nervous, just as he'd hoped.
"You're a moron and I don't know why I put up with you."
"You sound like Sasuke."
Sakura's expression tightened, and she pulled at a stray thread at the hem of her skirt. "What can I say? He's a bad influence." She cleared her throat. "Anyways, I just wanted to tell you… Neji, I—"
Naruto leaned forward over the table, blue eyes serious, even if his smile was not. "Neji, you…?" he prompted
"We're going out," she mumbled. "Kind of. I…" She took a breath. "We're kinda trying to keep it mostly between us, so don't tell everyone. Actually," she added quickly, "Don't tell anyone."
Naruto was silent for a moment, regarding her thoughtfully. Then he beamed. "Am I great, or am I great? I should set up a matchmaking business!"
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," Sakura said dryly. "You still have a few kinks to work out."
He waved her off. "Nah, Sasuke just screws me over. Soon as I drop him, I'm golden." She laughed, and Naruto went on, keeping her distracted from the absence of his reply to her request. Naruto never broke a promise if he could help it, but this one couldn't be held.
He had to tell Sasuke.
And then, he needed to fix this mess.
-o-
Two chapters to go. Unless it's only one. I dunno, input?
If it feels rushed – well, all will be explained next time. I really hope it's okay, even with this new twist. But think about it: Naruto has been working just to get Neji to like Sakura, and ASAP. So this isn't supposed to be a shock.
Now, here's the deal: I'm going on vacation soon, and I doubt I can get the next chapter out on time. I'll try, of course, but if not, you guys are going to have to wait two months (again) for an update, though as soon as I get back, I'll update. So, you know. I'm really sorry, but c'est la vie.