At long last, dear readers, another update has materialized from the Void! If you enjoy find this chapter enjoyable, please remember that a large part of the credit is due to Vanilla212, who has once again imparted her awesomeness and made this story much better than it would otherwise be.
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Alice felt that she should have been walking around in a cloud of black dread. It was the morning of the day Hatter was due back from his trip, and she really should have been worried about him finding out what she had been up to. Stealing tea and consorting with princes — why, for all Hatter would know, she was planning to become a fully-fledged tea-head!
Except that she wasn't, or course, and she didn't feel nervous. Alice had decided that Hatter did not need to know about her illicit doings. It was for his own good, really, as well as hers. There was no reason that she could see to risk upsetting him or losing his trust. Besides, this whole thing had cost him very little.
She did her best to ignore the chastising voice in the back of her mind, whispering over and over that lying to Hatter was wrong. The voice was as incessant (and annoying) as a lone cricket in an otherwise quiet room, but she tried to block it out. If he proved trustworthy, then she would eventually tell Hatter everything, but in the meantime her lips were sealed.
This small act of rebellion made Alice feel oddly sure of herself. She put on her favorite blue dress, whistled and hummed while cleaning the already-spotless shop, and reorganized the kitchen shelves for the umpteenth time. There was a little spring in her step as she went to the trading floor to steal Dormie's newspaper. Getting his paper had become a ritual for her. If he happened to be awake when she came for it, she would beg and cajole him until he begrudgingly gave it up. Fortunately for her, he was usually asleep, and all she had to do was pull it out from beneath his head, which was inevitably slumped on the table and emitting loud snores. Alice thought a newspaper a poor choice of pillow.
She found the newspaper in the usual place, but there was no sign of her jittery little coworker this morning. Alice supposed that he must have left early for his deliveries, so she made her way back to the kitchen with toast and paper in hand.
The fine art of bread toasting was a skill she had acquired the previous day. There had been a long column in the paper about various types of gourmet toast. She had painstakingly followed the instruction for making perfect toast on a stovetop griddle, ignoring the effusive suggestions for ideal tea blends to pair with, say, a well-toast pumpernickel or lightly-browned sourdough. It recommended drinking what she thought to be an absurd amount of tea with each slice. Who in Wonderland had enough money to indulge that much? Jack's friends, she supposed, and others like them.
Her mood soured a little when she thought of Jack. She hadn't heard from him since he left the day before. She'd been so indignant about his parting words, "You'll need friends soon. Don't forget that I'm on your side." What in the hell made him think she didn't have friends all ready? He knew nothing about her life.
Or did he? Something told her that Jack Heart was more perceptive than the average Wonderlander. She was starting to second-guess her reaction the day before. He had seemed so sincere, and after her initial anger died she began to wonder if her doubts even made sense. She told herself that while he was probably working for the Suits and his mother, he could also have her best interests in mind. Maybe he really wanted to help the oysters. Maybe he was even fond of her. She didn't know enough to be sure, so as usual the unanswered questions in her life lingered in her mind, chased in circles by her own wishful thinking.
Or they would have, had today been a normal day, but since Alice had decided that she wanted to be happy today, she stowed all of her questions away to examine tomorrow.
She sat down at the table with her toast, her paper, and a hot cup of straight lemon tea. She'd hardly started into the first paragraph, however, when the front doorbell rang. She went to answer it, thinking that perhaps Hatter was home early, and wondering why he hadn't used his keys to get in.
She opened the door, then froze in surprise. Dormie was at the door with three other men. One was as small as he was, with ugly pimples all over his face and shiny bald head. The second one was a redhead with a young, handsome face and an uncomfortably mischievous glint in his eyes. The third, who was nearly twice Dormie's height, was one of the ugliest persons Alice had ever seen, but she couldn't quite put her finger on why. They were clearly tea-heads.
They pushed past her onto the trade floor without bothering to acknowledge her. The bald one was in the middle of a story, which he continued as they plopped themselves down in one of the booths. Alarmed, Alice shut the door and followed them.
Dormie thumped a fist on the table in a weak attempt at bravado. "Alice, I'll have some Excitement with just a hint of Courage!"
The tall, ugly companion looked her up and down and grinned in a way that made Alice's skin crawl. "Excitement and Lust for me, sweetheart."
All four of them laughed as though that were the funniest thing they'd heard all day.
Alice glared at them, but remembered just in time that she wasn't supposed to speak. There was no way she was giving Dormie tea for his buddies without Hatter there to monitor the situation. She folded her arms across her chest and shook her head, hoping all the while that Hatter really would come home early.
Dormie jumped to his feet, and stomped over to her angrily. "See here, Alice," he said, blasting her with his stagnant breath as he shoved his face close to hers. "See here, we want tea. Now go get some."
She shook her head again, and Dormie audibly ground his teeth together. "Alice," he muttered, "If you don't get the tea right now, I'm telling them your damn secret. They'll take you away and put you a drainer, and then where will you be?" He was trembling a little, as though making this threat had taken all of his meager courage.
Alice rarely felt the urge to strangle someone, but just then she would have given anything to have his flabby throat between her hands. How dare he?!
She had little choice but to go along with Dormie's demands, though - or at least to give the impression of doing so until she came up with a better plan. She pulled her keys from her dress pocket and opened the counter door with shaking hands. Mixing the drinks as slowly as she could, she began trying to think of a way out of this situation. Should she make a run for it? Could she go to Chez for help again? Maybe she could just make herself as inconspicuous as possible and hope that they would leave her alone.
Dormie had gone back to the table, and soon he and his three companions were laughing uproariously.
After a few minutes, the tall thug said, "Say Dormie, why doesn't the girl sing a little song for us?"
The other two gave a mock cheer as Dormie shouted, "Alice, a song!"
What? Dormie, you idiot! She gestured frantically at her mouth and shook her head.
Dormie eyed her haughtily. "You stop that right now, Alice! I know you can speak."
Furious, Alice snapped, "No! If you want a song, sing it yourself you fat little lard."
Dormie's three companions were laughing so loudly that Alice was sure they could be heard down in the canals.
One of them, the young redhead, suddenly said, "Say Dormie, she sounds funny."
"That's because she is an oyster," Dormie ground out, glaring at Alice as though daring her to deny it.
Dammit.
"A sentient oyster, eh? The Dodo will want to have a look at her." The redhead jumped to his feet and sauntered towards the tea counter. "Come have a chat with me, sweetheart."
Alice's heart jumped into her throat, and she scrambled to lock the door before he could get to it. Out of nowhere her mind flashed back to the last time she'd been threatened behind this counter. Of course! The shotgun.
She pulled it from beneath the counter, shattering several teacups in the process. She was feeling frantic, but she forced herself to remember what Hatter had taught her. The gun was already loaded, so she aimed it at the window and disabled the safety mechanism. The redhead stuck his head through a moment later, then shrieked and jumped backwards. "Bloody hell! She's got a gun!"
"That right!" Alice shouted, bringing the gun up to the window. "And if you don't leave right now I'm going to use it!" Her voice sounded thin and shaky to her own ears, and she half-expected them to laugh at her. How they could possibly take her seriously when she sounded so pathetic?
But they did.
The tall, ugly one stared at her and slowly stood up. "Now, now, sweetheart, there's no need for unpleasantness. We'll just be on our way, won't we, my friends?"
"Now!" Alice shouted. "Get out now!"
The redhead was already halfway to the door, and the others fell in behind him, all muttering curses. She heard the word Dodo several times.
Dormie shot her a look dripping with venom so pure it gave her goosebumps, but she held her ground and stared defiantly back at him. "Get out Dormie! And don't you dare come back until tomorrow!"
The little man's courage broke, and he scurried out the door.
Alice waited for several minutes after she heard the door slam before emerging from behind the counter. She then rushed to the front door and bolted it before quickly securing every other entrance she knew of, including the windows. Finally satisfied that she was safe, she stowed the shotgun back in its place below the counter and returned to her now-cold tea and toast.
She slumped down in front of her untouched breakfast and unread newspaper, feeling a little dazed and very euphoric. She had done it! She had stood up to tea-heads!
She spent the next hour crying, then laughing, then crying again. Finally, she came to her senses and realized that she was far too excited to concentrate on the paper.
Instead, she decided, she was going to the rooftop to feel the wind on her face.