Rey slammed into the back of a large crolute obscured by the shadows of a stall. They recoiled from each other and she felt the slap of a fleshy hand on the back of her head, the creature grunting something unintelligible, scolding her like a child. It reminded her of Unkar Plutt but oddly this time she felt like she actually deserved it. She pushed past him and kept running, ducking and weaving through the pulsing crowd. Focus!

The ground felt hard under her feet, harder than it ever had before. She was used to sand, but it wasn't that. It was guilt. She had left Ben in a state, and she still didn't quite know how she managed to walk out of that room. She had felt so sure about her righteousness, about her convictions, but now all she could see was the image of her parent's ship leaving her. And the image of him naked and shattered, like she had crushed the last bit of soul in his chest. He didn't seem to realize there was something crushed in her chest too, just as badly as his.

So she ran through the crowd she had chosen over Ben, fully realizing she was all but invisible to them, just another body in the heaving sea of flesh, anonymous and insignificant. She ran because if she walked she would turn around and run right back to him. But as she ran she was reminded of the aching soreness between her legs, where he made love to her, where he had broken her in. She could swear she could feel his seed still leaking out of her even no and in the rush she forgot to secure her hair and it blew about wildly, coming completely undone. Dust coated the inside of her nose and mouth with every pant. It stuck to the tears that were still flowing out of her eyes even though she had stopped sobbing. She wiped them on her armlet and continued to check the beacon, gritting her teeth.

Who was she saving anyway? At what cost? Would a billion lives justify two broken hearts ? Or one new life? Maybe it wasn't the light she was representing, maybe she was really dark and selfish, her altruism just a cover. Perhaps she was just a broken girl seeking the purpose her parents have left her without, too afraid to hold on to the love she had finally found. If she was the light then how could she have left him in that state? How could I let them all die? The doubts swirled in her mind, mingling with the sensory overload, and the deep ache in her heart, threatening to paralyze her.

Eventually street opened into a great square, allowing for the first real view of the city. The Oplore capital stretched before her, towers and rooves a jagged line silhouetted against the hazy violet dusk. Neon signage glowed throughout, each twinkling light representing a hundred precious lives, each illuminating a peace that was about to be shattered by war. None of them knew what was about to happen, and it was her and Ben that had led them here. A part of her yearned for him to see this with her, to stand by her side, his arm around her shoulders and marvel at the beauty of the world. He wouldn't care less about the view, he would smile at my naivety and try to bed me again. The thought made her smile, then the pain tightened in her chest once more, reminding her of her mission.

Surveying the scene before her she noticed the square was actually a road spiralling inward, and sinking ever deeper into the ground into an inverted pyramid. The beacon indicated that she was close and she followed the steps down. The ambience of the thinning crowd became hushed and she slowed to a walk so that she wouldn't stand out. Instinctively she pulled her hood over her head, a much to counter the rising cold as to obscure her face. The whole structure was constructed of dark stone, obviously ancient, covered in carvings eroded away by weather and touch. Every few metres an alcove housed a large glowing orb, passers by casting long shadows into the centre of the pit. The force told her that there was life behind those lights, and looking closer she recoiled back at seeing dozens of sets of eyes glinting back at her, blinking slowly. More lives to protect. THIS is why I'm doing this.

The purple smear of the sky above continued to darken, and the temperature dropped even further, prompting her to cross her arms tightly and tuck her hands into her armpits as she went. The base of the structure was no more than a small square. Four guards dressed in the same chrome armour as the men who had interrupted the bounty hunter attack stood at each corner half obscured by shadow. She could sense their eyes watching her, now alone with them, making her nervous. The beacon indicated that she was directly above its twin. Finn, where are you?!

She walked up to the nearest guard, feigning confidence and casual purpose.

"I'm here to see General Leia Organa." Rey swallowed hard.

"Sure. Sounds legitimate. I need to see your identification." If she could see his face behind that helmet she was sure he would be rolling his eyes. I'm no one from nowhere and I'm trying to save your life, now let me through you idiot.

"You don't need to see my identification."

"We don't need to see your identification."

"You will escort me to General Leia."

"I will escort you to General Leia. Follow me."

He turned on his heel motioning to one other guard with a flick of his hand and Rey let out the breath she was holding. The guard typed a code into a tiny door she had not noticed earlier and it opened with a hiss. She followed them through it to find herself in a cramped stone passageway which abruptly widened into a brightly lit room, contrasting starkly with what lay just outside.

"Who is she?" More guards.

"Visitor for the Resistance." The other guard scoffed as they passed him, clearly unimpressed by any of them, and she was lead through another hallway into a cavernous hangar, filled with small fighter craft she didn't recognize. More guards milled around casually as others worked on repairs and cleaning. Her heart almost jumped out of her chest when she heard a sudden cry echo through the hall.

"Rey!" Fin ran up to her from behind almost knocking her over with a fierce embrace. "I knew it! I knew you would come!" Rey hugged her friend back overcome with joy and relief. It was short lived as he put her at arms length again.

"What has he done to you? Did he hurt you?"

"No! He hasn't!" You hurt HIM this time Finn, you just have no idea.

"Then why were you crying? And why are you walking like that? Are you injured?"

Others were now running up to them, Kaydel and Rose embracing her in turn, and behind them Poe walked over looking quite triumphant at her return.

"I think Rose would really appreciate it if you hurt her like that Finn." Poe squeezed him on the shoulder and Finn turned to look at him dumbfounded. Poe just rolled his eyes while Kaydel stifled a giggle behind a hand and gave Poe a conspiratorial look. Rey couldn't help but crack a huge smile too, in her own triumph that she has been so obviously and enthusiastically deflowered. By Kylo Ren. Good. Let them know.

"He can't be that bad if Rey is getting up to that with him."

"I can't kriffing believe you just said that! He's an abomination!" Rose hissed at Kaydel completely unamused, and then began to inspect Rey's face again. "Rey what's wrong, what happened?"

"I need to speak to General Leia." Rey steeled herself for grim task ahead. She considered for a moment whether she should keep it confidential, but realized that there was no point, they were all in it together. "The First Order is on the way here." The group froze in shock.

"So you're telling me your boyfriend snitched and brought war straight to our doorstep?" Rey glared at Poe.

"He didn't snitch!" And yes he is my boyfriend just you kriffing try me. "They already knew about this place, that's how Ben knew to come here. The First Order has put a price on our head and Hux wants revenge. It was Ben that killed Snoke by the way, in case you need reminding." Poe looked at her with narrowed eyes, but the urgency of the preparations they had to now make took priority and questioning motives was still General Leia's jurisdiction.

"Well good to have you back Jedi."

Poe turned to the rest of group and motioned for them to follow him.

"Ben?" Finn whispered nervously to Rey as he walked beside her, asking to be filled in on a secret he couldn't quite comprehend.

"Yes. Ben." Rey's reply was clipped and she struggled to contain her rising fury at the whole resistance. It was irrational, it was unfair, they only knew Kylo, but she was fiercely protective and her loyalties were now with Ben as much as them. Perhaps it was all just misplaced anger at herself, that she betrayed him for people who hated him. It was too much to think about and she sought to change the topic. "What are you doing here?"

"General Leia set co-ordinates for here when we first left that moon. What happened there by the way? I almost died when she ordered to leave you behind."

"He's not the monster you think he is, and you seem unwilling to understand that, so lets just drop it."

"Okay, okay, I didn't mean to offend you. I was worried. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you on the Falcon."

"It's fine, you don't need to apologize. I'm sorry that I'm angry right now, it's all a bit too much. Tell me what you're doing here? What's with the armour?"

"We have been allowed to stay and join forces on the provision we acclimatize ourselves here and adjust to their ways. Poe and I have been going out on rounds patrolling the city. The General is negotiating with the Governor."

"And what have you found out?"

"That this place is very disorganized. There is no procedure, every post is understaffed, people do things when they feel like it. They are recruiting from the refugees, but they are untrained civilians for the most part. The equipment is ancient and the only ships they have are what you saw in that hangar and a few more like that. It's absolutely crazy." His face was twisted with worry, but there was still determined purpose in his eyes. Rey realized that despite his naivety with some of the ways of the world Finn knew military life backwards. And more strangely he radiated a quite confidence that was befitting of someone of much higher rank.

You could have had one more recruit. If only you would give him a chance. If only he could see past his pain and forgive himself. Or maybe I'm the deluded one and I asked Ben for the impossible then left him when he couldn't comply. What if he leaves? I need to go back! I need to find him! She fought back more tears, panicked and desperate, his absence an enormous raw wound in her soul.

And very suddenly in the strangest of ways the world began to mirror her interior as the deafening klaxon of alarms blared through the complex. Red lights flashed, tipping everything into chaos and panic. No. No! NO! Not yet! NOT NOW!

"They're here! Hurry up!" Poe shouted over the din and they sprinted down the corridor, weaving through soldiers rushing to their posts. Almost immediately they rounded a corner and she came face to face with General Leia. It sucked the breath right out of her as they met each other's eyes knowingly, silently, in complete understanding of each other. Loaded with hope, and grief, and all manner of heartbreak. In the midst of disaster and on the brink of defeat.

War was here. Ben wasn't.