Ch. 14: Mothers

RL13436 requested the first time the kids said Mommy and Mama to their mothers. I hemmed and hawed for awhile, but finally got something I like. Here's the result. Thanks, as always for the reviews, follows, and favorites.

"Say ma-ma Brandon. Say mama," Stef coaxed her baby. She stood in the sunny kitchen, her son perched on her lap.

"Don't listen to your mom, little man. Say Dada. Da-da," Mike enunciated clearly.

Brandon babbled eagerly, his baby voice going up and down like scales on a piano. "B-b-b-b-b-babababab," he babbled eagerly. He bounced on his unsteady legs, letting Stef take his weight so he could kick his feet in delight.

"No, no babababa," said Stef, laughing. "Mama. Mommy's the best. Say Mama, sweet boy." She looked at Mike playfully. "That twenty bucks is going to be mine, pal. You haven't got a prayer."

"No way," Mike protested. "Brandon and me are buddies. We have an agreement and everything," he bent closer to the little boy, the brass buttons on his uniforms catching the baby's attention as he reached for them.

"Buh-buh-buh," the baby said seriously, grasping the buttons with a wet hand. He looked at his father, "Buh-bah!" he finished.

"He's not gonna say it," sighed Mike, wiping the buttons surreptitiously with his sleeve. "Another day, maybe. Huh little man?" He finished drinking his coffee and walked over the sink to wash out the mug. "I should be home by 6:00 tonight," he called towards Stef.

"Yeah?" she lifted Brandon to her shoulder, patting his back in soothing motions. She stood and moved closer to her husband. "Anything interesting going on?" she kept her voice casual.

"Nope," he said, turning around grinning. "Miss the excitement?"

"Catching criminals?" Stef asked, still patting the baby's back. "Nah. Brandon crawled across the kitchen floor four times without stopping yesterday. There's no bigger excitement then that!"

"Yeah. Okay," he smirked. He gave her a perfunctory kiss, then leaned down to kiss his son's head. "Bye little man," he said cheerfully.

Stef watched her husband leave somewhat wistfully. She loved her baby, but she did miss the action of the station. And grown-up talk. She was really missing that. But she did have maternity leave for fifteen months and she was going to use it. Brandon babbled cheerfully at her as she cuddled him. "Well Brandon. Just you and Mama again. What do you want to do today?"

Brandon blew a raspberry.

"Well that's no way to talk to Mama, is it?"

"Mama!" Brandon crowed happily.

"What did you say?" Stef asked, as she bounced him, looking into his curious eyes.

"Mmmm-mmm-mama, mama, mama," he babbled happily, blowing a giant spit bubbles at the end.

"Brandon!" squealed Stef. "You did it. You said Mama!" She began dancing around the kitchen with her son in her arms. "You did it, you did it, you did it!" she announced to the empty room.

"Mamamamamamamamama," Brandon said agreeably.

Stef kissed the frowzy hair on his little head, completely happy. The doubts about her life, about her and Mike, faded with this simple word. Maybe she didn't love Mike the way she had read about in fairy tales or seen in the movies, but that wasn't terrible, right? A lot of people probably felt the same way. Who believed in fairy tale love at her age anyway? This was enough. She had her baby. She had Mike, who was her best friend. This was enough. This would be enough. She would make it be enough. She kissed her son's head again. "Mama," he declared, and snuggled into her neck.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Lena surveyed the playground. It was pretty crowded which she had expected on this sunny spring day. Her eyes fell on her son who was tearing around the playground like a tiny dervish. She stayed on the far bench, wanting to give him as much autonomy as possible. Not like some. She couldn't help but give a tiny smirk as she watched one mother frantically trailing her five-year old like a dog on the hunt. When he began crossing the monkey barks, she waited desperately below, arms held out in case of an unexpected fall. Lena shook her head. Helicopter parents. She had certainly seen her share. How they expected their children to grow into responsible, dependable people was beyond her. She went back to make notations on her yellow pad. She needed to make sure the rest of the staff was gearing up for the end-of-school which was around the corner. Testing. Report cards. It was going to be extraordinarily busy. That's why she was making sure to take some time to relax today. Her head jerked up when she hear a long wail. She instantly recognized it as Brandon's. She jumped up, placing her materials carefully on the bench as she looked around, trying to figure out where it was coming from. She moved around the large playground, noting many of the other mothers were looking around as well. Finally she spotted him, curled up in a heap at the bottom of the climbing structure, crying loudly. A circle of children were looking at him with grave, interested faces. Her heart quickened, Brandon rarely cried from physical pain. He always tried to tough it out. Both Stef and Mike had encouraged this.

"Mama," she heard him sob breathlessly, "Mama," he was clutching his arm to his chest.

Lena felt herself break a little for him as she ran in his direction. Poor little guy. Not only was he hurt, but he wanted Stef, who wasn't there. She finally got to him, and kneeled. "Oh, Brandon," she said gently.

"Mama!" he gasped, burying his head into her stomach.

Lena blinked rapidly, just now noticing the circle of parents forming behind her. Oh. She was mama. He wasn't calling for Stef…he was calling for her. She picked him up, cradling him gently in her arms.

"Do want us to get some help?" asked a red-head with worried eyes and a cell phone in hand.

Brandon shook his head wildly. "No! Only want Mama!"

"I think we're okay," Lena assured the woman kindly. "I'm just gonna…" she gestured over to the benches.

The woman nodded uncertainly and the crowd parted as she carried Brandon to the bench. Lena sat down with Brandon on her lap. He cuddled closer, his sobs only slightly softer. He clutched at his arm.

"Hey, hey," said Lena softly. "Let me see, baby."

Brandon shook his head and sniffled, "It huuurts," he bawled.

Lena stroked his head, then brushed the tears off his cheeks with her thumbs. "C'mon, Little Boy Blue," she pleaded. "Let me see your arm."

He sniffled and looked at her, his big blue eyes swimming with tears. This particular pet name was a strictly at-home name. Lena had caught him looking at Mother Goose Rhymes five months ago and had told him that they were based on secret meanings and codes that were almost all lost in history. With his rapt attention, she told him the few that she did know. Now every time he heard a poem, rhyme or fairy tale, he would lug it over to Lena asking eagerly, "Is there a secret in this?" Little Boy Blue was now a family code name.

"Okay," he mumbled. He held out his arm, which was already swelling.

"Oh, baby. That looks like it hurts. Thank you for being brave," Lena said as she quickly catalogued this into "possible fracture" territory. She pressed down very lightly, watching as Brandon winced. "We need to go see the doctor for this."

At this pronouncement, Brandon dissolved into tears, shaking his head forlornly. "No, Mama. Please," he begged.

She shifted him back to her hip, gathering materials in her other hand. "We have to baby. But we'll call Mommy too, okay?"

He sniffled and nodded, letting his head drop wearily onto her shoulder. She looked around, wishing there was a place she could get some ice, but knowing the food vendors only opened their places when there was a game of some sort going on. She walked quickly to the car, buckled Brandon into the seat, and began backing out of the parking lot as she called their pediatrician to see if they could get an emergency appointment. At the affirmative answer, she made a bee-line to the office, calling Stef as she did so. Stef couldn't be there right away, but said she would be as soon as she could. Eyeing the busy traffic, Lena handed the phone back to Brandon so he could talk to his mom. He sniffed pathetically into the phone as he begged his mom to meet them at the doctor's office.

By the time Stef arrived, Brandon had gotten an X-Ray and the diagnosis of a hairline fracture of his radius. Stef bustled in, looking official in her uniform. Brandon clutched her tightly as she picked him up, giving her a play-by-play description of what had happened.

"You are a very brave boy," Stef said to him lovingly.

"I cried," he admitted frankly. "But Mama was there to take care of me, so I felt better. And she said we could have whatever I wanted for dinner tonight. And I get a special treat like a sundae, or maybe a banana split or maybe even bubble gum ice cream."

Stef gave her partner a smile, somewhat puzzled when Lena didn't return it. She gave her hand a quick squeeze. "Wh-," she began.

The doctor came into the room, "Okay folks. We're ready to cast the arm. Brandon, what color do you want?"

"Ummm," Brandon tapped his chin in thought. "Blue," he aimed a sideways grin at his mothers and tried to wink, which was really a blink because he hadn't got the hang of just working one eyelid at a time yet.

Stef took Brandon home so Lena could get the ingredients for dinner and dessert. Brandon decided he wanted home-made sausage and pepperoni pizza for dinner and all the fixings for a make-it-yourself sundae.

Lena was surprisingly subdued that evening, only managing smiles for Brandon when he looked at her. Stef had a feeling she knew what was the matter, and she led her reluctant partner out the door and onto the porch swing while Brandon was engrossed in a movie. She pulled Lena into her lap, and raised her chin to put it on her slightly-taller partner's shoulder. "What's wrong, love?" she asked gently, trying to make eye contact.

At the loving words, Lena didn't even try to hold back. "I broke our son," she said, and buried her head on Stef's shoulder, crying softly.

Stef couldn't help but smile, knowing this was what had been bothering her partner all day. She kissed her neck. "You didn't break him, sweetheart," she said. "He fell. Got hurt. It happens to kids all the time."

Lena sniffed, "I was watching this one mom and I was so smug about how over-protective she was, but maybe if I would have been watching more closely then he wouldn't have-."

"Uh-uh. No way sweetheart. We are not going to be the kind of parents who protect their kids from life. Honey, please," she cupped Lena's chin in her hand, drawing her eyes to her own, "You did nothing wrong. Brandon is fine. He got hurt. He's all fixed up. Everything is fine."

Lena sniffed a little, then hugged Stef fiercely. "Okay," she agreed softly. They went back inside to join Brandon on the couch.

The combination of the pain medication, and being cuddled between his mothers, made Brandon fall asleep before the movie had finished. Stef carried him upstairs and tucked him in bed as Lena watched. She stroked the hair on his head. "G'night baby," she whispered as she kissed him.

"G'night Mommy," he mumbled through a yawn.

Lena hesitated by the door, moving forward when he made sleepy grabby hands at her. She kissed his forehead. "Good night, Little Boy Blue," she told him.

He blinked sleepy eyes at her, "G'night Mama," he said.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The Runaway Bunny was currently Mariana's favorite bedtime story. When Stef read it, she would add to the little rabbit's plan of escape, and redouble the mother's efforts to find her. When Lena read the story, she let her voice firm at the mother's determination, and added something that Mariana adored. She called the bunny in the story, 'Little Mariana Bunny'.

Mariana clutched her blanket to her chest as her head lay peacefully on the pillow. She loved the cadence of Lena's voice. She loved the security of this home. It had been a year since they had arrived here, and Mariana was beginning to think that it was entirely possible that she and Jesús would be staying there. This home, would be their forever home.

Lena finished the story, then closed it gently. "Do you need anything else, Mariana?" she asked, stroking the hair off the girl's cheeks, then turning on her Tinkerbell night light.

Mariana shook her head, the words on her tongue wanting to come out, but frozen with fear.

"All right then sweetheart. Good night. Stef will be in to kiss you good night in a minute," she tucked the covers more firmly around the little girl's body, and started to leave.

Lena was at the doorway, when she heard a small voice. "Mama, if I swam away in the big, blue ocean…what would you do?"

Lena smiled at the cadence of the story language, and the precious name that had been bequeathed on her. She turned around and walked over to the bed. "I would swim in the big, blue ocean to catch you, because you are my little girl," she said.

"What if I jumped on an enormous, brown bird, and flew up into the sky?" asked Mariana seriously.

Lena sat on the bed beside Mariana, "Then I would jump on a great, big, gray bird to catch you, because you are my little girl."

"What if a little, yellow car came to take me away?" said Mariana, her eyes pleading with Lena.

Lena swallowed. She knew there was a possibility Ana would want the twins back. She knew there was a chance that DSHS would simply decide one day to remove the twins from their house. She didn't want to lie to the little girl, but she realized at the same time that she couldn't lie to herself. "Then I would jump in my big, black van and get you, because you are my little girl," she said, a lump forming in her throat.

Mariana nodded, tears glistening in her eyes in the glow of the night light. "Love you Mama," she said, nestling into the blankets.

"I love you too, Mariana," whispered Lena. She kissed her daughter good night.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

There were days when the sound of her own name, made Lena want to scream. This was one of those days. Brandon was recovering from a flu bug, and spent his morning grumping around the house, on the borderline of being a complete brat. Lena finally told him he needed to go upstairs for a nap, and he threw a full blown temper tantrum, worthy of a two-year-old. "Don't. Want. A nap!" he bawled out at the top of his lungs.

Lena, weary and feeling short-tempered herself, glared at him. "Brandon, if you don't take a nap, I'm going to think you need something else, and I can guarantee - it won't be pleasant."

Brandon proceeded to stomp upstairs and then tortured her by calling for her every five minutes. First he needed throat lozenges, then he needed water, then he needed more throat lozenges because drinking the water had erased the effects of the previous lozenges. Then he needed vapor rub. Then he needed more Kleenex. Finally he fell into a fitful doze.

In between these demands, Lena drilled Jesús on his flashcards, and patiently watched as Mariana held a fashion show.

By the time she had put the kids in the car, she was getting a headache. She dropped a cranky Brandon off at the station. Stef was going to take him to the doctor, they were pretty sure he was nursing another ear infection in addition to the flu. Then she dropped Mariana off at her ballet lessons. Finally, there was only Jesús in the car but he seemed to feel that he had to make up for the loss of the other two and chattered non-stop.

"Lena, why do you think Mr. Pearson's breath smells bad? Lena, did you see that guy, why was he wearing that weird hat? Lena what does s-l-u-t spell? Lena, if you had to choose between eating glass or eating garbage, which would you choose? Lena, when are we going to get to the math club? Hey Lena, did you ever notice that mother birds throw up into their babies mouths? Why don't we do that?"

Lena believed in responding to every question, no matter how many times Stef had just told her to tune the kids out. She didn't know if it was the teacher inside her, or just her deep-seated sense of the rightness of things that made it unconsiounable not to listen. As she answered Jesús, she could hear her answers becoming more terse. Jesús, with the unerring instinct of an ADHD child, responded to this by asking more questions, with a more frantic tone. It was like he saw the edge, and couldn't help but jump. He had to know the reaction.

Lena slammed on her brakes as another car swerved in front of her, without using a signal, then flipped her off when she honked the horn in retaliation. When she passed the car she made sure to glare at him as she began barreling down the road. If she didn't move it, they were going to be late which meant a penalty fee.

"Mama!" shrieked Jesús from the back seat.

Lena slammed on the brakes so hard, the seatbelt caught and sliced into her chest. "What's wrong Jesús? What happened?" she asked frantically, trying to both look and reach behind her, and pull off the side of the road simultaneously.

She managed to pull over and undid her seatbelt, just as Jesús shoved his muddy sneaker in her face. "Look Mama!" he said with a huge smile. "I did it. I totally did it. I tied my shoe!"

It was on the tip of her tongue to scold him. The only thing that held her back was the bright excitement in his eyes and the enormous grin on his face. She took a deep breath. "That's great baby. I'm so proud of you!" Jesús and Mariana had come to them unable to tie their shoes. Their previous families had put them into Velcro shoes, too busy (or lazy) to add shoe-tying to their day. Lena had been especially annoyed by this, and had made shoe-tying a daily practice. Mariana had learned pretty quickly, but for Jesús, the combination of multiple directions, the small-motor dexterity, and the attention it called for, made it a challenging task indeed. Now he looked at her, proud that he would no longer have to have his teachers or his mothers tie his shoe for him. This was independence. Lena touched his face. "You've been working really hard Jesús. It's just like I told you, if you work hard enough at something , you can do it. That's what it's going to be like with your school work too. Sometimes it's going to be really hard but if you keep trying, you're going to get it."

Jesús nodded happily. "Yes!" he said cheerfully enthusiastic.

Lena tapped her hand on the steering wheel for a moment, then turned back to him, "Should we go get some ice cream, to celebrate?"

"Yes!" said Jesús immediately, then he paused in thought. "Wait, what about my class?"

Lena looked at the clock on the dashboard. "We're already running late," she shrugged.

Jesús slumped down, his eyebrows knotting. "Well-," he said unwillingly. "I wanna keep getting better at my math. I should probably go to my lesson," he looked at her seriously.

Lena grinned at him. "That's a good point buddy. Let's go for ice cream after. And we'll get double scoops with toppings."

"Ya-hooo!" shrieked Jesús, throwing his shoe in the air, uncaring that it bounced back down on his head. "Thanks Mama!" he yelled, clutching her in a hug around her neck from behind.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The annual police marathon was as crowded as ever. Lena sighed as she was bumped hard, again. She looked downward to find her children. Mariana was clinging desperately to Jesús's hand. Crowds made her nervous. Brandon was scowling, trying to protect both Lena and the twins from the constant movements of the crowds and failing utterly. "We're going to be there," said Lena, pointing at a place near the finish line.

Jesús was bouncing in his eagerness. "When are we going to see Stef?"

"Not too long kiddo," she assured him. She really hoped that was the case. She timed it so they wouldn't be waiting at the finish line for very long before Stef arrived. She knew her partner wouldn't be first, but her competitiveness would at least put her in the top twenty.

"Mom's going to be here any minute," Brandon assured his siblings. "She always does really well in these races." He grinned, his pride in his mother obvious.

Jesús wiggled impatiently, running back and forth from the roped-off street, to where his family was standing. After about fifteen times of this, Lena was thinking that Jesús should have run the marathon. It might have slowed him down for at least an hour. "I see 'em coming!" he shrieked suddenly, nearly deafening Brandon with his yell.

"Lemme see, lemme see," begged Mariana, who was several inches shorter than her brothers. Lena tried to make room for the little girl, but the jostling was preventing her. Finally, with a sigh she lifted Mariana to sit on her shoulders. Luckily, Mariana weighed about as much as a bird, because she wasn't strong enough to do that for a long time.

Brandon and Jesús hung onto the rope guard, screaming enthusiastically as the runners became more than just a blur on the horizon. As the got closer, Lena saw that Stef was indeed, among the first clump of runners. She was wearing a brightly covered bandana around her head that the kids had all put their handprints on. It was their Mother's Day gift. About 500 yards from the finish line, there was a sudden yell from the crowd. "Fuckin' pigs!" The officers in Stef's tight clump swerved and ducked automatically as a cascade of balloons hit them. Stef and several other officers were slammed to the ground. There was absolute silence in the crowd as the officers, smeared with red and purple paint, got to their feet stiffly. Lena could see that Stef's knee was bleeding. Next to her, Brandon's eyes had filled with tears of humiliation for his mother. Just as Lena was about to put her arms around him, she felt a small burst of movement by her side.

"Those bastards, I'm gonna kill them!" hollered Jesús with serious intent. His little fists were clenched and he started to lift the rope to dash under it.

Lena immediately grabbed him, nearly dislodging Mariana for her precarious position. "No Jesús," she said, infusing enough seriousness in her voice to warn him that things would go to DEFCON 1 if he didn't behave. She did notice that several adult members of the crowd had detached themselves in pursuit.

She kept her hand clenched on his shirt and was reaching for Brandon when she heard the high, clear voice of her daughter above her head. "You can do it Mommy! Keep running! You can make it!"

Several heads turned in Mariana's direction, Stef's included. Lena knew she had been a little hurt that the twins had been calling her "mama" but had yet to call her "mom". She played it off, saying that it was understandable since they had spent more time with Lena, but Lena knew her feelings were still a little wounded.

"Go Mommy!" yelled Mariana again, her clear voice even louder in the silence. "Run, run, run!"

Even though Stef was far away, Lena could see the flash of white teeth as Stef began to run again. Little Mariana, who spoke so sparingly and softly, even at home, had yelled out in a crowd of people. She had yelled to her mother.

"Go Mom!" Jesús seconded quickly. "Go! Go! Go!"

Girded on by the sound of the children's voices, the crowd of cop families and friends took up the yells of encouragement. Even though several of the officers were bleeding or limping, they all moved to the finish line. Stef was limping heavily, but she moved stubbornly forward.

"Run mom!" the twins yelled in syncopation. "Run! You're almost there!"

Lena looked down to see Brandon's fists clenched as he whispered, "C'mon mom. Tough it out. You can do it!" He whispered it over and over, his body quivering in anxiety.

Stef grinned and flashed them a thumb's up sign as she passed them and crossed over the finish line. It took only moments for the little family to rush together, the children clinging to Stef and she touched their heads, then hugged and kissed them. Lena planted a firm kiss against her partner's lips, and used her own kid-made bandana to wipe the paint off her face.

"You did it Mommy!" yelled Mariana, clutched in Stef's arms. "I knew you could do it. I just knew it!"

Jesús leaned against her right leg, and Brandon her left. "You were totally awesome, Mom," said Jesús. "You beat a whole bunch of those other guys!"

"You did good mom," Brandon affirmed quietly, a small smile breaking through the seriousness of his face.

"Great job, hon.," said Lena, giving her another kiss.

Stef grinned as she hugged her three children and her partner. What a great day.