Chapter 14

Present Day

"Jane."

For the third time that night tears were freely flowing down the cheeks of the detective. For the first time all night the doctor finally understood why.

But the understanding still left Maura feeling lost. For Maura, understanding a situation usually freed her to formulate a solution. Understanding usually led to answers. But Maura had no solution for this. There was no fixing this.

"Jane, I'm so sorry."

Jane curled herself into Maura and let the grief consume her.

Two Days Prior- Miami

"Ms. Rizzoli?"

"I…Can…"

"Is there anyone we can call for you?"

For a second an image of Maura flashed through her mind. But the second after that Jane remembered that Maura was in Boston. She was in Miami. She went to say that but the words didn't seem to want to work right. So she felt herself shake her head. When the doctor nodded Jane at least felt like she communicated something.

Silence filled the sterile room.

"I need to see him."

Again the doctor nodded. That need was common for family members who had experienced sudden loss.

"Give us just a few minutes. I'll have someone escort you down to the morgue."

Silence filled the sterile room again.

Jane stood staring down at her feet. Time passed but Jane didn't register how much or how long.

"Ms. Rizzoli? Will you follow me?"

She nodded. She followed. She focused on remembering to breathe.

Riding down in the elevator her mind wandered. There was a sad irony that she was riding in an elevator to go to a morgue. An act Jane had experienced on a near daily basis. But this. She had no experience for this.

It was all so different. The sights. The sounds. The smells. This wasn't her morgue. This wasn't a place that offered her comfort. This wasn't a place where she was surrounded by people she cared about. This was detached. This was cold. This was foreign.

She stood in a hallway for a minute. She had been told to wait. So she was waiting.

"Ms. Rizzoli?"

She didn't have to wait anymore. She followed the feet of the person in front of her.

"I'll leave you alone. Please take as much time as you need."

Present Day

"How am I going to tell them?"

It had been a few minutes since Jane had stopped crying and this had broken the silence.

"You tell them the truth," Maura offered. "Or I can do it for you if that's what you need."

"No. I have to tell them. I just…I just don't how…" She didn't finish the sentence.

"You will. You will know how to tell them when you see them."

"Will you come with me?"

"Of course. Whatever you need Jane."

Two Days Prior- Miami

"Detective?"

Jane was outside the hospital sitting on a bench. She had needed the air. She turned to look up at Agent Nixon.

"I'm glad the agent is going to be ok," Jane offered.

"Detective, I'm sorry."

"Did the other teams all get back safe?"

"Yes. They did. Jane, can I do anything for you?"

"I need to make arrangements to have him sent to Boston. His family….our family….will want him there and not here. How long?"

Nixon understood what Jane was asking. "I can see that they expedite everything as quickly as possible. We should be able to release the….him by tomorrow. If I run into any issues I'm sure Sanders will help."

Jane nodded. "There is something you can do for me."

"Name it."

"Take me to his trailer."

Nixon nodded.

R&I

Jane stared out the window as Nixon drove. He didn't push for a conversation. They rolled up to the trailer park and Nixon weaved his way through towards Frank's trailer. He parked the car. Jane looked at the trailer from the car. The area was blocked off by police tape but it was clear that the crime scene techs had come and gone already. There wasn't anyone there.

"The CSRU team has processed everything. You can go in."

She just continued to stare out the window at the trailer. She couldn't help but focus on the door. It was still off its hinges. Frank hadn't gotten that fixed. She let her last interaction with him race through her mind.

"If you want out of this, call the number stored in this phone."

"Would you?"

"I just don't know Pop. I can't imagine myself ever being in this situation. I was raised better than this. You taught me better than this. I just wish I knew what happened to that man because I don't even recognize who you've become."

Sitting there, she realized that was the last thing he ever heard from her. She opened the car door and stepped out. Nixon didn't move. He assumed she would want to go inside alone. He was surprised when she walked away from the trailer instead of towards it. She suddenly moved quicker and Nixon couldn't help but see Jane step behind a tree and get sick.

She stood still for a moment but finally moved back towards the car. Without speaking she opened the car door and sat down. Nixon looked over at her and couldn't help but be concerned. She was pale, there was a sheen of sweat on her brow and her hands were visibly shaking. But he waited for her to speak.

"Take me to my hotel. Please."

He started the car immediately and never once questioned why she didn't go into the trailer.

Present Day

"Whatever I need?" Her tone was flat but expectant.

"Yes. I'll do anything you need me to do. Just name it." She wanted to help Jane with whatever she needed.

Jane sat up and pulled herself away from Maura. She took a second to adjust to the sudden loss of contact she had with her. She wiped away the last of the tear tracks from her face. After a second she took in a deep breath and stood up.

Maura watched her friend like a hawk but didn't move from the couch. She wasn't sure why Jane was up but she felt like she didn't need to get up with her. So when Jane walked towards the kitchen Maura moved to the edge of the couch but remained seated. She stared towards the kitchen. The last time Jane was left alone in there she threw a bottle against the wall. Maura didn't know what exactly Jane was doing but she didn't think another glass would get broken.

After just a few seconds Jane walked back into the living room. She had something in her hand. Maura recognized it immediately. It was the envelope that she first saw sitting next to Jane at the Robber. The same envelope Jane kept a tight grip on while Maura drove her home. Jane walked back over to the couch and sat back down. Maura continued to watch Jane. Again, as she had all night, she waited for Jane to continue.

"I haven't….I need…." she paused. She took a deep breath and clutched the envelope in her hand. She turned and looked at Maura. She handed the envelope over to Maura who let Jane place it into her hand and didn't take it until Jane let it slide completely out of her hand.

"I can't. Will you? Please?"

Maura finally took possession of the envelope. She looked at Jane to make sure it was what she really wanted. And then she opened the envelope.

R&I

One Day Prior- Miami

"Jane please call me back. I'm worried about you."

Janie what is going on? A

Jane please at least text that you are ok. M

Jane? A

R&I

Jane knocked on Sanders door and waited to be asked in.

"Detective, please come in."

Jane walked in and sat down in front of Sanders' desk. "Thank you for seeing me."

"Detective. I'm very sorry about your father. I can't help but think that some of this was my fault. I should have pushed the AG harder when the evidence never showed any reason to suspect that you knew."

Jane shook her head. "You did what you needed to do. This wasn't on you. This wasn't on the AG. Frank did this to himself. No one made him gamble. No one made him abuse drugs. Once he signed on with Montoya there was never going to be a good ending for him."

Sanders nodded. He understood that. He just wondered if understanding would ever really make any of this any easier for the detective. He seriously doubted that.

"We pushed the lab techs and we have been able to expedite the processing of everything. We can release the body to you today. The AG has signed off on allowing you to transport him across state lines and you will be able to proceed with any funeral arrangements that your family will want."

"Will he get convictions?"

"The AG is confident that he will get convictions against Montoya, Ramos and everyone arrested in the raids. The evidence is compelling."

"And the Boston distribution source?"

Sanders shook his head. "We still don't know. But we executed multiple search warrants and seized several laptops from Montoya and Ramos' homes. So we are hopeful our analysts will be able to uncover something."

"Is there anything else that you need from me?"

"In relation to this investigation, no. We have arranged for the jet to fly you back to Boston in the morning. I'm sorry it can't be tonight. Our flight crew is required to get a set amount of rest in between flights and they can't fly again until tomorrow morning."

Jane nodded. That was fine. She wasn't even going to secure the release of Frank until later that day so she still needed some time to make the appropriate arrangements. She then looked up and questioned Sanders. "Is there something you needed that was not in relation to the investigation?"

Sanders reached down to a file on his desk and flipped open the folder. He withdrew an item and looked up at Jane. "Our CSRU team that processed Frank's trailer found this." He pushed an envelope across the table. It had Jane's name on it but it was still sealed.

She looked down at it and then back up to Sanders. "I can't take it. It's evidence. You should log it in as evidence."

Sanders shook his head. "I don't think so. To me, this is a personal correspondence from a father to a daughter. Please take it."

Jane looked at it again. "What if…"

"Look, if there is anything in there that you think we need to be made aware of I trust that you will let me or Nixon know."

She reached out and took the envelope in her hand. "Thank you." She then stood up and left.

R&I

Present Day- Early Morning Boston

Jane had been on the ground for about twenty minutes. She found herself in her car at the airfield. She spent the entire flight from Miami staring at the envelope Sanders had given her but she could not find it in herself to open it. It now sat on the passenger seat of her car. She started her car and drove.

Fifteen minutes later she found her car parked in front of Frankie's apartment. She sat in her car for a few minutes trying to figure out how exactly she was going to tell Frankie and then Tommy and Angela about Frank. She took a deep breath and exited the car.

She got as far as the front stoop. But she froze. She couldn't get herself to take another step forward. She just couldn't. Instead, she walked back to her car, got in and drove away.