For a moment Lorelei gave into Matt. She felt his lips on hers and she became the teenage girl that would forever harbor feelings for Matt. It was everything that she wanted, no it wasn't, it was everything that she wanted years ago. It was everything that she wished for before they had left their homes and moved on. A small voice in her head that was telling her that it wasn't right began to get louder and louder.
Lorelei pulled back and looked flustered and a bit angry. "Matt what was that? How could you? I mean you know that I'm with- "
Matt stared at her for a few moments trying to come to his senses. He was still so intoxicated from the kiss, still tasting her lip-gloss. "I- I'm sorry Lee. I don't know what happened. I didn't want that to happen, I let my guard down for a second I guess."
"What do you mean let your guard down? Matt you just kissed me! What am I supposed to tell Jeff? He'll never believe me if I say I didn't want anything to do with it. He'll walk away from me and I won't see him anymore and I'll hurt him again!"
"Lorelei," Matt grabbed her hands and steadied her frantic arm movements. He bent down to look into her eyes and tried to calm her down. "I'm sorry about what just happened. I don't know why it happened I can't explain it. You were there and I was holding you and I just- "
"Jeff, Matt, Jeff! Jeff!" It was all that she managed to get out. She was stunned by what he had done. She never expected to be caught in this position. Matt was always wonderful and trustworthy.
"We aren't going to say anything to Jeff," Matt said after a while. "He doesn't need to know."
"How is it that he doesn't need to know?" She asked him getting angrier. "You come out here for a day and he's trusting enough to think that nothing will happen and then- "
"Lorelei nothing happened. It was a stupid kiss, something that meant nothing."
"Then why do it Matt?"
"I don't know," Matt stated simply, and it was true. He had not idea why he had done that. He was just as confused as Lorelei was. Sure he hadn't dealt with any of his true feelings for her, just buried them deep enough to believe that they would never be able to surface. But he found himself staring at her and watching her every movement. He took in her perfume and wanted to keep that scent with him forever. He wanted to show her everything that she meant to him.
"Matt I know that we haven't talked really, about everything that happened between us. I know that you said you wanted me to be with Jeff. But we never really talked about how we were going to handle how you felt towards me." Matt shrugged. "I think that we need to talk about that. I know that it is hard for you. Trust me I know. I've watched you with tons of girls and it hurt me a lot to see you always happy with someone else. But we need to deal with the problem in front of us. It's going to be hard for us to be around each other if you won't fully admit what it is that is making you feel the way you are."
Matt dropped his head and thought about it. He didn't know how to respond. He wanted to have Lorelei in his life. But how could he keep her in his life when he couldn't stand to be within five feet of her? How could his feelings possibly be that strong for her? She was supposed to be the little sister that tagged around and you didn't mind. She's supposed to be like another member of your family, Matt tried reasoning with himself. And then another thought popped into his head. She will be soon if her and Jeff keep up the way they are, he talks about her all the time, it's obvious the kid wants to spend his life with her. The thought sent a sharp pain through Matt's chest. How was he going to spend his life looking at the one that got away?
"Matt?" Lorelei asked after seeing that he was lost in thought. "Hey, Matt."
Matt looked up and saw that Lorelei was once again mere centimeters from his face. She broke into a smile that he found near irresistible. "Are you back?" She asked him still smiling.
"I'm back, sorry." He smiled back at her. How could he not have this woman in his life? She was always there for him and if he let her walk out of his life now he'd never be the same.
"I think maybe we should talk," Matt said to Lorelei. "But not here, let's go back to my room." Lorelei raised her eyebrows at the suggestion. "I promise I won't do anything more. I've come to my senses. I just want to work things out with you."
Lorelei nodded walking over to the table to deal with the bill. She was extremely unsure of going back to Matt's hotel room. She wanted to believe that Matt wouldn't do anything, but only minutes before he had kissed her. How could he? She was with Jeff, she had never been happier. All of this Matt knew and yet here he was trying to kiss her. She didn't know what else would happen if she went to his hotel room. She wasn't even sure if she could resist him if he did try something again. When she was clear headed she knew that she didn't honestly have any romantic feelings towards Matt anymore. But when he looked at her in that way of his, and kissed her putting all of his feelings into it. Every old feeling and wonderful memory came flooding back. She almost as if she were time traveling once he began to get romantic with her.
"You've been really quiet." Matt said to her once they had settled into the hotel room. "I know that this afternoon has been a bit weird but I don't want it to change anything between us."
"How can it not Matt? How can things not change after what happened? I know that you don't want to hurt either me or Jeff, but that is exactly what you are doing."
Matt looked into Lorelei's eyes and saw the confusion and hurt that she was experiencing. Matt sighed upset with himself for causing this. "I'm sorry Lee I really am. I know that we never really talked about my feelings for you. We talked about everything else except that. I never really wanted to talk about it. And then over the past few weeks we haven't really seen each other. I was trying to bury all feelings that I had for you; I guess that it just didn't really work."
"Well I think that maybe we need to talk about it now. I know that you are hurt from everything, and I'm sorry that I can't look and you and say that I love you with all my heart. I want to be able to tell you everything that you need to hear but right now you need to hear something that you don't want to hear. There are some mistakes that can't be fixed. And there are some things that you just can't get past. You and I are one of those things. All those years we've made so many mistakes and the timing was never right. It just can't be fixed Matt. Some wounds never really heal and everything that I felt, all that hurt, all that anguish, it just can't be erased. I will always love you Matt, and I want you to be a part of my life. But if this is how hard it's going to be, you trying to steal kisses and get little bits and pieces of me here and there- "
"No, Lorelei that isn't what I want at all." Matt interrupted her. "I know that everything I did back there was totally wrong. I don't really know why I did it, I just know that I was completely lost in my own fantasy world. I can't deny what you do to me Lee. You send me off the deep edge honestly. I don't know how to deal with any of this. I want you and Jeff to be happy I really do. But I find myself putting you into every fantasy that I can come up with. I find myself in this world where everything is exactly as I want it. I want to hold you in my arms and love you. This is not any of your fault," Matt said noticing that Lorelei now had her head down and seemed like she was crying. "It is just going to take time that's all."
She looked up at him and he saw the tears falling freely from her eyes. "I hate that it has to be this way Matt I really do. But when? When is it going to get any better?"
"I don't know Lee, I honestly don't know." Matt wiped the tears off her face. "You don't have to cry. Every day it gets a little bit better and soon enough we'll all be happy with the people that we were meant to be with."
"If things are getting better then what's with the kiss? How could you just kiss me like that and say that everything is getting better?"
"I have my set backs," Matt said trying to lighten the whole situation. He gave a smile and kissed her cheek. "I am so sorry that I did this to you just give me a bit more time. I need to have you around in one way or the other."
Lorelei sighed and looked out the window. "What about Jeff Matt? He's supposed to be coming tomorrow afternoon, what I am supposed to say to him?"
"Don't say anything Lee."
"What?"
"Please just leave this between us. It took a lot of time and effort to get Jeff to even let me back in his life and we're closer than ever now. If he finds out about this he'll never let me anywhere near him ever again."
"Well you should have thought about that before you decided to kiss me!" Lorelei said getting angry. How was she supposed to not tell Jeff?
"I wasn't thinking when that happened. I know it was horribly wrong and it makes it worse if we don't tell Jeff, but I don't want to lose my brother." Matt's tone and his eyes were pleading with Lorelei to agree with him on this. "Lee please, please. I love my brother more than life itself you know this. Whatever I feel for you is nothing compared to the love and loyalty I hold for him. I was caught up in another world. If I lose him over something that I never meant to do I- I'll- I don't know what I'll do without him," Matt said getting quiet.
Lorelei sat back down and looked at Matt, he was serious. He never meant for any of this to happen. She sighed once more and took Matt's hands in hers. "If it won't ever happen again then I won't tell him." She said quietly. It didn't sit right with her to not tell Jeff. But Matt was right, Jeff wouldn't even wait for an explanation. He would walk away and that would be the end of it. She hated to be in the middle of the tension that still existed between the Hardy brothers, but she knew one kiss wasn't worth breaking up what fragile bond the brothers had left.
Matt looked up at her surprised. He didn't think that she would actually say yes. He was expecting for her to say too bad and he'd have to deal with the loss of his brother. "Really?" He asked still not fully believing her.
"Really, I won't say a word." She gave a weak smile and hugged him. "I know how much Jeff means to you, and how much you mean to him. I don't want to lie to him but I know that I don't want to break the two of you apart anymore."
"Thank you so much Lee."
"You are welcome."
The tension Matt and Lorelei slowly melted as the day wore on. Lorelei realized that Matt meant what he said, that he was not trying to do anything behind his brothers back. It was harder for Matt to become at ease again knowing that if he got too comfortable they would be back to arguing and feeling uneasy about spending time together. It seemed like any time that he let his guard down thoughts and feelings filled him, causing his head to spin and sending him off into his own fantasy world where Lorelei was his to hold and love. He couldn't get her off his mind bit he couldn't let her creep all the way in either. He was so lost with what to do that it took him a while before he realized that they were hanging out the way they used to so many years ago. It was extremely comforting to the both of them knowing that they were able to get back the friendship that had carried them through many hard times.
All easiness left Lorelei's body as she saw Jeff step out of the terminal. He looked as happy as she had ever seen him. And guilt washed over her thinking how she hadn't just slapped Matt and walked away without talking to him and without giving him a chance to explain.
"I missed you so much." Jeff said picking her up into a massive bear hug. "I really have to start taking more time off."
"That would sound great," Lorelei says trying to bring herself out of her thoughts and control her guilt.
"So where's my brother?" Jeff asked looking around and seeing that Matt was missing.
"He stayed at the hotel he wanted to get as much rest in as possible. Plus he thought it would be nice to give us a couple of hours alone."
"That sounds good," he said smiling devilishly.
"What is on that mind of yours Mr. Hardy?" She asks seeing the look in his eye.
"Only that I haven't told you how gorgeous you are or kissed you
hello properly yet." He smiled once more before leaning down and bringing her closer for a kiss. He let the weeks of being separated from her wash away as he tasted her lips and felt her soft skin with his hands. Forgetting about the aches and pains that he felt throughout his body, forgetting that they were in a crowded airport, Jeff tightened his grip around Lorelei's waist and deepened the kiss. He didn't know how to stop, giving into every raw emotion of his body.
"Jeff," Lorelei whispered against his lips when she realized she wasn't able to break away. "People are starting to stare."
"Then let them," he whispered continuing kissing her.
"Jeff, in the airport is not where we should be doing this."
He took a deep breath in and pulled away slowly still breathing heavily from their kiss. "You're right," he says looking at the fact that she's flushed and blushing. "I don't think I've seen you that shade of red before."
Lorelei smiled and blushed a bit more taking his head and walking towards her car.
"So where do you want to go first? To your hotel or to my place? I want you to see my place." She smiled at him talking non-stop.
"Let me check into the hotel first then we can see your place."
"Good, because I really want you to see my place and I want you to meet my roommate. And we have dinner plans with Matt tonight, but tomorrow night I reserved especially for us. I thought that it would be appropriate for your last night here to have dinner together."
"Lori," Jeff said amused. "You are talking at hyper speed and soon enough I won't be able to understand a word you are saying."
"Oops, I didn't realize that I was doing that. You know me and what happens when I get over excited."
Jeff laughed and shook his head. It would be a while before she stopped talking at high speeds jumping from one topic to the next. He wrapped his arm around her loving the fact that she was actually there with him and sharing her life with him.
Jeff had thrown his bag on the hotel bed and turned to Lorelei. "We're alone now," he said smiling.
"Yes we are, and what is that supposed to mean to me?"
"Everything," he said grabbing her sitting on the bed and placing her between his legs. "We won't have to worry about anyone seeing what we're doing."
"And?" she asked still not wanting to give in to him.
"So now I can do as I please with you," he said.
"Only if I let you," she reminded him smiling.
"True, true at least let me have a few more kisses." He said pulling Lorelei closer to him.
Whether he had two minutes or two days with her he didn't care. Time seemed infinite as long as she stayed in his arms. Nothing would change, everything would stay still.
"Jeff we have to go meet Matt," Lorelei said softly into his chest.
"Just a little bit longer," Jeff said playing with the strands of her hair.
"We'll lose our reservations and I worked hard to get this set up."
It was difficult pulling Jeff out of the bed and out of his bubble. But he could hear in Lorelei's tone that she wanted to surprise him with something special and he wanted to see his brother. But what he couldn't overlook was Lorelei's change of attitude once they had met up with Matt. She was nervous and fidgety and didn't seem at all like herself.
"Hey is something wrong?" He finally asked her while they were in the car.
"No not at all why would you ask?"
Jeff lowered his voice, "because ever since we met up with Matt you've been different."
She forced a smile on her face and turned to him. "Everything is fine don't you worry about it."