Shojo Hikari has become HikariOneeSan
Also WARNING: This is a spoiler chapter if you haven't read the manga past Volume 10.
Dymiyuki is Dannie (and Larry) by the way.
Bold = Hikari (Host) (Me)
Underlined = Dr. Dannie (Dymiyuki)
Bold/Underlined = Larry (Lights guy) and Alexander (A guy we pay for some reason)
Regular = Guest or other random person
Italics (can be bold, underlined, or normal) = Whisper or thought
Rin
(Battled with the question "Isuzu or Rin?" Picked Rin because it's shorter. Hehehe)
(Outside the school…)
Realtor: I'll give you 10,000 for it.
Larry: 10,000?
Realtor: Yes.
Larry: 10,000 what? Camels? 'Cause I could sell those.
Realtor: …Um no, dollars.
Larry: Damn it, the camels would have been worth more. Why did you lead me on?
Realtor: Um… so anyway I will write a check.
Wait! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!
Larry: Selling something for 10,000.
Hikari: Nonononono! Its not yours to sell!
Larry: Then who sells it?
It's ours' so we sell it… Wait a second. Hikari?
Hikari: Yes?
Why is there a realtor here trying to buy something worth 10,000 camels from Larry? We don't own anything worth 10,000 camels.
Realtor: Actually, its dollars…
Nobody asked you! Hikari?
Hikari: Actually, it was going to be a surprise.
What was?
Hikari: Well, since the studio burned down during our cooking show, we are selling that crappy place, and using the insurance money for a new place.
Oh, okay, but one flaw in your plan.
Hikari: What?
The studio did not burn down.
Hikari: Yes it did.
No it didn't.
Hikari: Yes it did.
So you mean that if I ran there right now, it would be burnt.
Hikari: Theoretically, that's what happens in fires.
IT DID NOT BURN DOWN! I was there, I would know!
Hikari: Were you there?Hikari, it is no time for games.
Hikari: Trust me Dannie, it burnt down.
When?
Hikari: That's not important.
I think it is.
Hikari: Anyway, I have cashed the insurance check, and bought the penthouse I had my eyes on.
So you wanted to surprise us with a "burnt down" studio, and take us to a penthouse?Hikari: Yes, exactly!Larry: I'm in. Lets go!
Guess I have no choice… Hey, why is that real estate guy here anyway.
Hikari: I thought it would be better if he met me here. Come on real estate guy, to the burnt down studio!
Larry: YAY!
Hey, where is Alexander?
Larry: He said he had to go home first to feed his monkey. I'll text him so that he can meet us.
?: Hey wait up guys!
Hikari: Hey, it's Haru! Hey Haru!
Haru: Hey guys, I kinda need a favor.
Sure. You carried our stove. What do you need?
Haru: You see, Rin needs a place to hide for a little while. You know, stay out of site for a while. I figured your show would be perfect.
…Thanks.
Larry: Sure we will hide your girlfriend on our unpopular T.V. show.
Our show is not unpopular it is experimental. That sounds cooler.
Haru:… Uh, thanks guys. She won't be any trouble at all. I'll come back for her later.
Hikari: Oh, wait. We changed our address recently, here's our card.
You even made business cards!
Haru: Okay, thanks for everything. Gotta go.
Hikari: We should start going too. The movers will be at the penthouse soon, with the stuff I ordered.
You ordered furniture too?
Hikari: Yep!
(Sigh)
So Rin, what's your story?
Rin: Huh?
You know, are you really Haru's girlfriend? Are you another Sohma? Who are you running from? Why haven't I seen you in school before?
Rin: None of your business.
Larry: Wow, somebody is antisocial.
Rin: Excuse me?
Well you are.
Hikari: Dannie is a talk show host, so she's not used to people totally snubbing her for no reason.
Rin: Fine. Yes. Yes. Everybody. And I've been in the hospital for a long time.
Wait, what?
Larry: Whoa, whoa, how do I keep track of those answers
Hikari: She is Haru's girlfriend, and another Sohma. She's running from a lot of people, and she missed school because she was in the hospital.
Larry: How do you remember all that?
(Shrug)
Hikari: Magic?
No.
Hikari: Aw, I wish I had magic.
Here we are at the pile of rubble, that we used to call the studio. Mr. Realtor?
Realtor: Right. Here is the 10,000 DOLLAR check.
Okay, your dismissed.
Realtor: Why did I come all the way here then.
GO!
Hikari: Dannie, you shouldn't have been so mean. Even the back of his head looks sad now.
Alexander: Hey everybody!
Alex, your back! This is our burnt studio. We are about to go to the penthouse. Also, this is Rin. She will be on the show today because she's hiding from people.
Alexander: Nice to meet you. This is my pet monkey Steve!
Rin: What?
Larry: You can ignore him sometimes, it's okay. I think he's high.
Alexander: Heard that Larry.
Hikari: Time to go!
Penthouse time.
(At the Penthouse…)
Wow, this building is amazing. It's this door right?
Hikari: Yep, I think the movers were already in there too.
(Opens Door)
Larry: Wow, this place is nice.
Alexander: I wonder what else is in here.
Let's go!
(Rummaging through stuff)
Larry: Oh my god, I found pies.
Alexander: Pies? How did those get there.
Well since we don't know, we can't eat them.
Hikari: Are you gonna have a pie war?
No, not a war… but I'll win!
Hikari: Not in here! Do it in the hall.
Fine, party pooper.
Hikari: You see what I have to deal with here Rin?
Rin: Is this an everyday occurrence?
Hikari: Pretty much, let's go inside and have tea on the new set, while they do this. I want to see the new camera and lights.
Don't make me seem like the odd ball you're the crazy one I don't associate with loan sharks that burn down warehouses.
Hikari: They were not loan sharks and you can't prove it.
Rin: Sure, now if you're both done you (points to Dannie) can go throw pies around and you (points to Hikari) can go tour the house while I stay here and watch T.V.
You bought a flat screen with all sorts of games, a fully furnished kitchen … wait come back so I can ask where you got all this. Where are you this place is huge?
Hikari: I'm in my bedroom.
Why do you need a bedroom and holy shit everything looks gold I thought you liked green.
Hikari: I do but I like gold to and don't worry you have a bed room go through that door.
Wow ok bed rooms are allowed now this looks amazing!
Alexander: Where done with our pie war and wow this place looks cool and Larry is getting yelled at by some guy in a uniform.
Hikari: Don't go getting us thrown out of our penthouse. By the way your room is across the hall so is Larry's.
Alexander: Cool I don't ever wanna leave.
Larry: Thanks Alexander. Wow this place is amazing! Alexander where are you?
Alexander: In my room! Yours is next door.
Larry: Wow your room is cool I can't wait to see mine. (Opens door) What the hell this is a closet.
If you would prefer the floor outside the door you are welcome to stay there.
Larry: No I want a real room all of you get rooms the size of living rooms why do I get a closet?
Because you don't matter!
Hikari: You really should remember that Larry save us the time and energy. I'm glad you like your rooms you two.
Rin: I like this room I will stay here.
You know that's my room and don't go deciding things by yourself.
Rin: Fine I will tell Haru you are a bunch of inconsiderate people.
You can stay in my room just ask to see if it is ok next time, and go ahead if you are going to leave! Why should we put up with you if you are just gonna complain?
Larry: Your different how?
I sign your paycheck and I can kick your ass.
Larry: Oh right.
Hikari: Speaking of complaining what did the guard say about the pie war?
Larry: Oh right, he said that you will need to pay a fine and not to do it again. The fine was Alexander's fault.
What did you do to get Larry in trouble and how can I thank you?
Alexander: The guard was annoying so when he turned around I threw a pie at him then ran away so it looked like Larry did it.
Great job! I am teaching you well. I will buy you an extra thing for your room so think about what you want.
Hikari: Dannie don't taint the mind of a minor. Larry the fine is coming out of your pay how much is it?
Larry: It was $500 but why am I the only one paying it? Alexander did the pie throwing.
Yea, but you got caught so you need to pay. Looks like you can't buy any decorations for your room in a while.
Larry: What decorations with that mat that I'm guessing is my bed there is not room remember it is closet sized.
You can buy paint and posters and with enough money. Maybe bribe Alexander to share some room, then decorate that.
Alexander: Ok I will charge $10,000 per foot you want from my room.
Larry: That is highway robbery.
Alexander: Not my problem it depends on how much you want the extra space.
Larry: Someone tell Alexander to lower the price. Where did everyone go?
Alexander: They, like myself, got tired of your voice and left.
(In the living room playing games and sitting on a mix of water furniture and bean bag chairs)
Rin: I'm going to win!
Not a chance I always win everything!
Hikari: Can't we just play the game peacefully?
Rin/Dannie: NO!
Computerized voice: Race results: Winner is Car number 5 screen name RinSohma91
Rin: Ha I told you I would win!
Computerized voice: And Car number 1 screen name Doctor Dannie.
I told you I would win!
Hikari: Stop fighting you both won. If you can't enjoy this without fighting then you won't get to play.
Rin/Dannie: Fine!
Rin: Don't copy me.
Why would I copy an extremely boring person like you?
Larry: You all came in here to play games and fight without me? You didn't even listen to my problems.
Does that surprise you?
Rin: Grow up! Des everything need to be about you, nerd?
Larry: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! (Runs into closet)… (I mean room)
Hikari: Look what you two have done! You made the nerd cry. Time outs for you both!
Whatever, mom.
Rin: I don't need to listen to you.
Hikari: Dannie, Rin, both of you will go to Dannie's room and you two will work out your problems and won't come out till you stop fighting!
Dannie/Rin: Fine! (Walks to room and slams door behind them)
(Hikari runs and locks the door)
(Rin and Dannie sit on opposite sides of the bed facing the walls)
This is all your fault! If you just accept I'm better than you, this wouldn't have happened and I could enjoy my cool new penthouse.
Rin: My fault? I'm a guest! You should be nicer.
Are you royalty? No, I don't think so. Why should you get special treatment?
Rin: I can't take this I'm leaving!
(Tries to open door but it is locked)
Door: Nice try.
Rin: Your door won't open.
I had no clue, considering your still here. Let me try. (Pushes and pulls door )
Door: Not gonna open.
Rin: You win at everything huh? Let's try together.
Fine.
Door: Does locked mean anything to you?
Ok now I will pick the lock.
Rin: Right, you can pick locks now? Anything to be better than someone.
I have been able to pick locks since I was 10 now move.
(Picks the lock)
Door: The prisoners are escaping sound the alarms! Call the warden!
Rin: Good job now let's get out of here. (Kicks door shut)
Door: Come back here and face my wrath you human!
Nice job! Why don't you just shout we escaped? Now let's quietly leave. Wait a minute.
Rin: What?
There is a note.
Dear Dannie and Rin we all left to try and cheer Larry up so we are at Butterfly Bread, or some other pathetic place. Hikari said we will be back around 5, so we will bring you two something to eat. Hope you learn to get along. Hikari thought this was a waste of time but I thought it was polite so bye.
Its already 2:00. We have 3 hours before we need to go back in the room or we will be locked in again. What do you wanna do?
Rin: Haru said something about a T.V. show can we do that?
Never did it without Hikari but oh well, there is a first time for everything.
(At Nerd Depot…)
Hikari: I wonder what those two are doing.
Alexander: Me too. I wonder if they killed each other yet.
Larry: Who cares what they're doing. We are having so much fun right guys?
Hikari: Yea totally. (Sarcasm)
Alexander: No were not mhmhmhmhmhmhmhmh (Hikari covers mouth)
Hikari: Alexander I will buy you a new pet if you play along and keep Larry happy for now.
Alexander: Deal! I want a monkey. No wait, I have Steve. I want a fish. No, to smelly. I want a dog. No, it would chase your cat. I want a cat. No, I want to be original. I want an elephant. That's it! I want an elephant.
Hikari: An elephant what is wrong with you? where am I supposed to find an elephant? Pick something else.
Alexander: Ok I want a horse.
Hikari: Why? Just why?
Alexander: Well if I had a horse I could ride it everywhere and I would never be tired. Plus when people see me they will be like wow that kid has a horse.
Hikari: You're insane.
Larry: What are you two talking about?
Hikari: Nothing! Can we go now?
Larry: Noooooooo! You said I can stay here and look at things to buy till 5:00 and it is only 4:00.
Hikari: Fine, but remember we need to bring dinner for Rin and Dannie.
Larry: Oh them. Let's ditch them to
(Larry is Cut Off)
(At the Penthouse…)
Okay people. You might notice Hikari is and Alexander are missing. Also the stupidity level is too low for Larry to be here. They all went to spoil the nerd, so they are probably at the Learning Store or something. This is my guest today, Rin Sohma. She is hiding so don't tell anyone you saw her on TV.
Rin: Hi.
This is when you tell people about yourself.
Rin: I don't want to.
Okay… then I will make up an interesting back story. Rin is on the run from foreign police because she stole the emerald panda and the amber penguin from a museum. We would show you but to prevent you from being accomplices in jewel thievery.
Rin: I did not steal anything!
See folks she has the perfect unbreakable sense of denial that will surly fool the cops. Plus we don't have them any more we sold them to afford this penthouse that will be the new studio and convict hide out so if you ever commit a crime and need to lie low, you can use the penthouse if you don't tell anyone about me. Limitations are murder and arson. If you're wondering what happened to our old studio, go ask Hikari's "accountants".
Rin: Don't invite criminals to your penthouse!
Your right Rin. Only cat burglars because Hikari "acquired" the penthouse and she loves cats so that should be alright. If you want to get on my good side I will accept jaguars. The car or the feline will work wonderfully.
Rin: You know cat burglars don't steal cats right?
What are they supposed to steal dogs? That is not smart Rin.
(Outside Nerd Depot…)
Alexander: We will wait for you by the TV store, Larry.
Hikari: I worried about Dannie and Rin. I can just imagine what is happing.
(Turns to look at a TV playing the live episode of Dr. Dannie)
Hikari: That is exactly what would happen. Larry hurry up! Alexander we are going ahead, you go get food for everyone and meet me back at the penthouse.
Alexander: Okay, pizza it is then, later.
(At the Penthouse…)
We better hurry it is almost 5.
Rin: Yea I will be in your room you stop the show.
Ok well as you heard we must be going so we don't get caught so till next time.
(Hears front door opening, runs to room, locks door with hairpin)
Hikari: Did you two kill each other?
Dannie/Rin: No.
Door: They are liars! They escaped. Punish them!
Hikari: You won't believe what I thought of. While I was in front of a TV store I thought of you two doing a show together. I mean really, you two hated each other when we left, there is no way you would have gotten along enough to do that right?
Totally how dare you even think it!
Rin: Me? Do anything with her? Yea right!
Alexander: 2 large plain pizzas for the consumption by us and Larry gets this pepper.
Sounds good, let's eat! Being trapped in a room for hours makes me hungry.
(Still at the Store…)
Larry: Please can I leave yet?
Security guard: Not until I verify you did not take this flash drive from the store.
(Turns to a 5000 ft wall full of flash drives)
Larry: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Security guard: That's it I'm keeping you another day and billing you for the hearing aid I need now.
Larry: (Sits and starts to cry)
(Next Day at the Penthouse…)
Hikari: Breakfast time! Thank god for room service.
Yay! More food, and still missing the tech stooge. Are you sure he was not trapped and packaged to be one of those take home tech stooges like in that computer commercial?
Rin: That could never happen, and don't talk so loudly in the morning.
I WILL TALK AS LOUD AS I WANT WHEN I WANT TO!
(Knock knock)
Haru: I smell food let me in. Oh and I came for Rin to.
Good morning and sure have Larry's food he is still missing.
Haru: What did you do?
Nothing.
Rin: Haru! (Hug)
Haru: I'm so glad you and Dannie get along. That show was so funny.
What do you mean show? We were trapped in my room all day.
Haru: (Oblivious) What do you mean? You two did an awesome show.
Hikari: So what I saw yesterday was a real show you two get along that much then hide it.
Rin: We don't get along now let's go Haru.
(Rin leaves)
Haru: Hey Dannie thanks. Rin does not open up much but no matter what she says she looked like she was having fun. I'm glad you two are friends.
Haru, you're nuts. Whatever you want breakfast to go then?
Hikari: Here you go. Dannie probably feels the same way.
Haru: Thanks for helping us out.
Hikari: No problem.
…...
Larry: Someone? Anyone? Help.