Chapter 14: Goddess Bearing Gifts
Warnings: swearing
The part human Doctor stepped into the TARDIS and closed the door. He turned around from the door to look at his counterpart, who was already starting to climb under the console to partake of some meditative maintenance. He liked that- 'meditative maintenance.'
"I know what you're doing, you know," he said to his moodier half, having resolved to try once more today to break the full Gallifreyan out of his funk enough to listen to the hints he was dropping.
"I'm sure you do," he replied angrily, getting back up. "Can't say the same about you, though. Just what the hell do you think you are getting at? Until we got to Trilaxia, you were going along with the program, but while we were there, everything seemed to change. What happened?"
"We've been through this. I saw just how much she was worried about you and me both," he said, telling only part of the truth, but they knew each other better than that.
"And?" his other self asked, irritated, "there's something else."
He closed his eyes and tried to figure out how much he could tell his last self, without breaking his promise to Rose. He finally settled on the truth. "There's...things I know, that I've realized since I became...this," he gestured to himself, "and, you...need to figure them out for yourself. I'm trying to help you, here. Well, it'll help me out too," he added at the end with a cheeky grin.
The other Doctor was standing there in front of him, arms crossed and a mix of confusion and anger written all over his face. "What sort of things?" he said in a low voice.
He gave his other self a sad, knowing look and told him, "I can't. I made promises."
"Promises?" his counterpart croaked, "What sort of promises? What are the two of you-? Why?" He looked ready to crack.
He stopped the man in the brown pinstriped suit with a hand up. "If I could tell you, I would. Just trust me with this."
"Trust-" the two hearted man started, voice squeaking a little bit, then changed his mind with a shake of his head. "Okay, then, just tell me one thing, is she in any danger?"
"Oh geeze, not that I know of. No matter how many promises I made, I wouldn't keep something like that from you," like he'd let Rose be hurt. "Listen, at least stop being weird and cold to her, for right now, that'll be enough." He chose his next words with great care, "I know what you're thinking. Two days ago I was you, so I should know. If you let go, and just let things be what they could be...you won't regret it, not like we did before," he reminded his other self. "We thought we'd be better off in the long run if we didn't get any deeper, but the truth is, there is no deeper." He paused for a moment, letting those words sink in for the other man.
The other Doctor gave him a calculating look and put his hands in his pockets. "So. You're saying that I'll benefit from sharing her and watching the two of you be able to grow old together. I don't want to share, and I don't know if I can stand by and watch the two of you have that together," he admitted, voice lowered so that he was almost whispering at the end, trying to disguise his voice breaking.
The twin Time Lords were both silent for a moment, watching one another. The part human one was trying to figure out something to say without giving up any of Rose's secrets when the two hearted Doctor spoke up, "of course, that's assuming she'd even go for it in the first place."
"She will," The Doctor wearing blue assured him.
"How could you know?"
"There's this new thing, all the kids are doing it, it's called 'talking.' You should give it a try sometime," he lectured his other self. He then explained, "last night, relatively speaking, we had a discussion that included the subject."
"And you're fine with sharing?"
He leaned against one of the coral struts and looked at his brown suited counterpart. "Not with sharing in general, would rather have her all to myself. That hasn't changed," he sighed, "but when the other person in question is, well, myself...well, I find it nice that she loves me enough to want to deal with me twice over." He then gave a little laugh, "can't understand why, but for some reason, she does. We don't deserve to be in her presence, much less more."
"I know."
"The Goddess smiles upon us."
"Goddess?" His other self was amused. "Are we having a poetic moment?"
"Oi! Don't pretend like you think otherwise. Need I remind you of a certain statue? Or how we came to look like this in the first place? I'm just willing to admit it, that's all," he then pointed his finger at his other self accusingly, "and you! You Dunce, if you had any idea, any at all! If you had- Fuck!" He sat down, hands buried in his hair, aware that the other man was observing him, mind working furiously. He then felt the other Doctor sit down next to him.
"How can I, when no one will tell me?" The Time Lord said.
"I tried to get her to tell you, but then she told me her reason why, and I understand, I really do." he looked the two hearted man in the eyes and dropped him a hint, "There's something you need to do, or say, before she'll tell you, unless you find out on your own like I did."
The other Doctor spoke, "It's big, isn't it?"
"Bit of an understatement. It's potentially huge, but I don't know much yet. I get the feeling she's not sure about it." They sat in silence for a few moments, both lost in their thoughts.
Suddenly, he heard the man next to him inform him, "I hate you."
He laughed, "feelin's mutual, I assure you."
The other man shut his eyes, and clenched his fists, then let out a deep breath and opened his hands to rub his palms against his trousers. "I'll try," he finally said.
"That's all she needs."
They had a truce. The two men worked for the next few hours, checking connections, replacing a button that shorted out. They didn't use that one often, but when they did, they needed it.
The whole time, they discussed random things. Where to take Rose next, places they had wanted to go, whether or not the Disney World on Clom would actually be any good, and if they dared take Rose there with Absorbaloffs running around. There was speculation on the Sontaran-Rutan war and what it would take to end it. The human Doctor grumbled about his new physiology, and the Time Lord one would tease him about it.
The part human Doctor was sitting on the jump seat when the monitor showed two familiar figures walking through the Plass. "She's coming," he told his counterpart, who came over to the monitor.
They noticed that the two weren't walking in a straight line. Then they noticed something else. "She's wearing a different outfit," the full Gallifreyan stated, jealousy showing in his eyes. Rose was wearing a teal outfit that would fit right in in Ancient Greece if it were floor length, bit it came up over her knees. Her blue leather jacket was draped over her shoulders.
When Rose and Jack got close to the TARDIS, he nudged the other Doctor towards the door. The man in brown then opened it, just before Rose got to the door. On the other side, Jack and Rose stood there, the immortal man and the full time lord eying each other up before Jack called out, "Good night, Rose, gimme a call later."
Rose bade her old friend goodnight, hugged him and stepped inside the TARDIS. The Doctor who had answered the door asked Rose, "did you have a good time?"
"Yep!" Rose giggled. Yeah, she was a bit tipsy, but not nearly as much as he thought she would be.
"I notice that you have different clothes on," he was obviously trying to keep the jealousy out of his voice, but failed horribly. Failed bad enough that even tipsy Rose noticed.
"Why, Doctor, are you jealous?" she asked flirtatiously, causing the two hearted man to falter. And the single hearted man to chuckle.
"No," he said.
"Yes," the part human teased.
Rose finally relented, "Where we went wasn't appropriate for jeans, so Jack took me shoppin', said 'e wanted to dress me up lika Barbie doll. Told 'im if he wanted to dress me up like that slag, we'd be havn' words." She smiled at the memory and continued, "didja know that he's gone monogamous? Well, mostly monogamous, 'im and Ianto."
"What? Really? Jack?" The part human Doctor asked, "wonders never cease."
"The things we do for love," Rose said, with a dreamy look in her eyes, "for our hand to hold." Her eyes refocused, looking back and for the between the two of them. "I see you two haven't killed each other yet."
"We're the same man. Why wouldn't we get along well?" The full Gallifreyan had an innocent look on his face.
"Because you're the same man," she wasn't buying the innocent act. "Well, since you're finally getting along well enough to stay in the same space for a bit, I've got somethin' for both of ya. I'll be back in a mo." She went down the corridor.
Both Doctors looked at each other, thinking. "Would that be murder, or suicide, do you think?"
The part Gallifreyan replied with, "dunno, depends on who does the killing? I was once you, but you'll never be me. So murder for you, suicide for me?"
"Maybe over thinking it?"
"A bit, yeah, better not let her hear us. Wonder what she has for us?"
The Time Lord shrugged his shoulders. "No telling."
Just then, they heard Rose on her way back, singing. "...I wanted freedom, bound and restricted, I tried to give you up, but I'm addicted, now that you know I'm trapped, sense of elation, you'd never dream of-" a thump was heard, followed by, "shit, can't hold on to any damned thing."
"Well, whatever it is, she just dropped it," the Doctor in blue said in Gallifreyan to his counterpart with a low, amused voice.
Just then, Rose came back into the console room, holding a small box and two books. "Found it!" She exclaimed. "You're gonna love this," she promised them. "When I was stuck over there, I'd come across something that I knew didn't exist in this universe, something which I knew you'd love. And what do you get for the man who has an entire universe at his fingertips? So I'd gather these things up. It was a bit risky, time lines and all, but I figured they'd be safe in the TARDIS in the hands of a Time Lord."
She then held up one of the books. It was a small, light green book not much bigger than his hand. "Charles Dickens lived a little longer there. Here we have the completed Mystery of Edwin Drood. No blue elementals involved, though," she referenced their first trip into the past together.
"Oh, this is brilliant!" both Doctors exclaimed in stereo.
"This book is old," the part human added, turning the book over in his hands and opening it up. He then pulled out his glasses and put them on. "Oh, look, it's a first edition!"
Rose grinned and told the pair, "We had plenty of money, and it was fairly easy to find a first edition, if a bit expensive. No point in bringing a paperback, not for this."
"Thank you," the Doctor wearing blue breathed, in awe.
"This is amazing," his counterpart added.
Rose picked up the other book, a thicker volume, paperback this time, and standard paperback size. "Next up, we have William Shakespeare. I have here a book called the Complete Works of William Shakespeare, which includes the plays Loves Labours Won, and Timon of Athens. I remember you going on about the lost play and the unfinished play and how you wanted to know what happened to them. And I noticed some minor differences between the plays I knew and the ones in this book." She handed this book to the two hearted Doctor, who immediately opened it to the proper pages and scanned the end of Loves Labours Won.
He laughed and handed the book to his other self, then hugged Rose.
The blue-suited Doctor looked at the same pages. "This is brilliant, absolutely the perfect gift! We actually found out what happened to Loves Labours Won in this universe," he told Rose.
"Oh really, what?" She was excited.
"Turns out some Carrionites were using the play to unleash themselves from a different dimension." The other Doctor said, "Carrionites are, weellll, you'd call them witches. They use sound and words and shapes to do what they need done."
"Is that where he got his witches from?" Rose asked, "'cause that'd make-oh, Sycorax," Both Doctors were grinning now. "Of course, you did." The part human Doctor picked up a deep sadness when she used the name of the creatures she met right after he regenerated. But she seemed to shake it off quickly and went to the next gift. She took the lid off of the small box and reached inside, pulling out what looked like a mini DVD.
"This," she brags, "This is the complete works of one Elvis Aaron Presley, who in this universe died in 1977. In Pete's World, he cleaned up his act and lived until 1989, when he died in a traffic accident."
Both Doctors let out a very manly squeal, very dignified it was. That was his story and he was sticking to it. Rose laughed, and said, "I thought you'd like it."
"And last, but definitely not least," she announced when they had calmed down.
"Woah, there's more?" the part human asked, astounded.
"Yes! And you'll absolutely love this," she promised with a tongue touched grin. She took a small tin out of the little box and opened it. "This is a species of Camellia sinensis that was bred to taste like... guess?"
"Um, peppermint?" the Doctor in blue guessed.
"Nope," Rose popped the 'p.'
"Strawberries?" the other Doctor wondered.
"Wrong again!" She was bouncing now.
"What?" both Doctor said together, getting excited.
"Bananas!"
The look on his counterpart's face was priceless, and he imagined he probably had the same one. Like he was going to go over there and snog the daylights out of the woman in front of him.
"Now, just why has no one over here thought of that? A species of Earth tea, that tastes like bananas without you having to add the flavoring!" he laughed.
"Yeah, shame I didn't have much room to bring a bunch with me." she complained. "The collection of things was much larger, but when I learned I wouldn't have much room to take things with me, I had to pare it down to the most important. The Shakespeare book almost didn't make the cut, I really should have had it on a disk too. So there's only enough there to make about twelve cups."
The full Time Lord's face fell. The part human felt his face fall too, he then said, "oh, well, we'll just have to have it for special occasions."
"Yeah, it's a shame," Rose affirmed, "too bad I didn't think to bring seeds with me, "she teased.
Both Doctors caught on immediately. The new one said, "no way."
The original Doctor said, "You didn't-"
Rose proffered a small bag, full as possible to be with tea seeds. "Oh, I did. It'll be a while before the plants are mature enough to harvest a reasonable amount of tea, but-"
Both Doctors looked at each other and grinned. "Oh, I think we can figure out a way to speed the process up a bit," the part human said.
"How?"
"Time machine," both Doctors sang out, with identical grins.
Rose then started laughing. "Of course, I shoulda known."
The full Time Lord then said, "well, I don't know about you two, but I think it's time to brew up some tea, maybe some biscuits?" He then started towards the galley without waiting for a reply.
"Tea and biscuits it is," Rose then said, still laughing. She turned and looked at the Doctor that still stood there. "That was better than expected, from both of you."
He hugged her. "You didn't need to, you know," he murmured into her ear, "I'm glad you did, that was brilliant, but you didn't have to."
"I wanted to. You give me so much, but I have nothing to-" he silenced her by his lips pressed against hers. He kept their touch quick, not letting it devolve like he really wanted.
When he pulled back from her, he put his forehead to hers and whispered, "every moment with you is a gift I cherish." He then let some of the emotion he was feeling flow into her telepathically, which was getting easier to do now that they had connected a couple of times before. He also pulled back on that quickly, took her hand, and led her off towards the galley.
XxXxXxXx
They were sitting at the corner booth table in the galley, Rose in the middle. The three were trading stories. This time, it was Rose's turn. "...and this poor guy, he's freaking out, he's from 3557, and it's 2012, and he has no idea what's going on, how he arrived there, nothing. One minute, he's in his living room, the next, an alleyway in Cardiff. That's the rift for you. Luckily, I had a working vortex manipulator and could take him back home."
"You've mentioned that before, that you had a vortex manipulator," The Doctor wearing brown asked, "How'd you get that?"
"When I first got access to the archives, I spent all of my time down there looking for anything that could help me. I had 'oped to find a vortex manipulator, figured that'd be the easiest way to get back here, but never believed I'd actually get my hands on one." She played with her mug. "Then, I did. The one I found had a broken xanthica crystal, but other than that, it looked like it was fine. I was glad for all the times I asked Jack questions about his."
"You got hold of a xanthica crystal." The other Doctor prompted.
"Yeah, two months later. After a couple of small trips, I went back to the day that I was trapped there. The original plan had been to take one of those buttons and hop back here to just before we had opened the breech, tie myself off in a closet or something, and hide until it was all over, but then, before I got it working, um, the beach happened, and I couldn't do that anymore." The the Doctors both looked sad at the mention of what happened on Bad Wolf bay.
"So, then the plan changed. Do the same thing, but be ready to find Sarah Jane after the walls closed, or go back to the flat. I knew I'd find ya soon enough, or you me, but I 'ad to make sure you had contacted me first." Both Doctors looked proud of her plan and how it would have maintained the timelines.
"Just before I went to leave, Pete took me aside and told me why 'e knew where and when to jump back over here and catch me."
Both Doctors looked very interested in this information. "Ah, you and your paradoxes." the part human said.
"Yeah. Me and my paradoxes." she muttered, "anyway, I'm sure you've already figured this out, but that's when I learned that I couldn't get through the walls like that." Both Doctors then reached over, grabbing the hand that was closest to them, and giving it a squeeze. Rose's ever weird mind had an absurd thought that if they had clasped their other hands together, they could have a séance.
"That was brilliant, Rose," the Doctor with two hearts said.
At the same time, the part Gallifreyan whispered, "genius."
Eager to get off the topic at hand, Rose then looked back and forth between the two men. "all righ' now, that was 2 stories from me, it's your turn."
The Doctors told Rose about the time they met Brigadier Lethbridge- Stewart, which was chasing the Yeti in the London underground during his second life. Rose learned that he had actually met the Brigadier twice in his first life, but he was crossing his time line and had to forget about it. When they got to the end of the story, the part human Doctor yawned. "Fucking rubbish human biology," he muttered.
Rose couldn't help but laugh. "You'll get used to it eventually," she assured him.
"Why aren't you tired?" he complained. "You've been up longer, and you went dancing and have been drinking."
"I don't need as much sleep as I used to," she replied with a cheeky grin. The Doctor groaned, and his counterpart snickered.
Then the Doctor let out another yawn. "I guess I'll go to bed then," he took Rose's hand, kissed the back of it, and bade her goodnight. She watched him walk out the door, then she turned her attention to the Doctor who still sat there with her.
He had been watching them interact with a mostly neutral expression, but Rose could see the other emotions that would creep past the cracks in his mask every now and then.
"I never did say, back there, did I? Thank you, for the gifts. That was, well, that was the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me, actually."
"You're welcome, Doctor. It wasn't a big deal. I just saw some things I thought you'd like." She shrugged. "Like I said, what do you get for the man who can give you the universe across all time?"
"You didn't have to do that for me"
She then repeated what she said to the part human Doctor, "I wanted to. You give me, everything, but I have nothing to give-"
The Doctor cut her off. "You give everything, Rose, every day. Every moment."
"Yeah?" she breathed.
"Yes." He said, firmly, grabbing her hand.
They sat there, in companionable silence for a couple of minutes. Rose watched the Doctor out of the corner of her eye, he looked like he was wanting to bring something up, so she prodded him. "Penny for your thoughts?"
He let go of her hand. "So, um, he tells me that you would...um..." the Doctor started uncomfortably.
"Would what?" Rose asked.
"Be okay with..." he shifted and played with his mug, "both, of us?" He couldn't look at her while he said it.
"You're both the same man," she told him, "you're both 'the Doctor.' And I could never leave one of you behind. Could never, as long as you want me around, anyway."
He looked at her with wide eyes, full of hope, and pain, and other emotions she wasn't sure she wanted to explore just yet.
"I don't know if I can, Rose. I don't know if I'm...strong enough to do this. To watch you...one day, you'll be..., and I'll have to..." He trailed off, not able to get the words out.
She got up to wash out her mug. "The way I see it, you have two choices here. You can go ahead and keep distancing yourself from me to attempt to lessen the pain, or you can embrace the pain as a reminder of the times we have." She then turned around and leaned against the counter, looking at him with her arms crossed. "I'd much rather not be distant."
The Doctor sat back in his seat, regarding Rose with a proud look. "Rose Tyler, when did you become so wise?"
Rose gave him a small smile, and replied with her own question, "since when do you actually talk things out?"
"Guess we've both learned a bit." was all the Doctor said on the subject. He then asked, "what about him?"
"What about 'im?" Rose asked defensively.
"I know that you and him have...and that's okay, it is, but I don't know if I can watch you...you know," He just couldn't say the word 'die' for anything when it came to her, "and watch you be..." He was very uncomfortable. "I still think you'd be better off without me."
"I ask you again, Doctor, are you jealous?" she queried, "of what is, basically, yourself?" When the Doctor couldn't meet her look, she knew that she was on the right track. "No, you don't get to be jealous of him. You spend every moment pushing me away, pushing me towards him. Be jealous of anyone else, that's fine, but not him."
She then walked back over and sat down in the booth, opposite him. Leaning forward, she said earnestly, "look, we don't have to do anything. I'll be 'ere for you, however you need, however you want. But I will be here for you." She then leaned back and informed him that, "I still love you, I just want you to be happy."
The Doctor didn't say anything, just looked at her. It was the same look he had while they were on Krop Tor, discussing houses and mortgages, just after she had told him that being stuck with him wasn't bad. He opened his mouth, like he was going to say something, but then closed it.
Rose then gave a yawn, which made him smile. "Thought you weren't tired," he teased.
"Knackered actually, was just windin' 'im up."
"Now that was, that was cruel, that's what that was!"
"But it would have been so wrong not to," she laughed, "come on, you know you've teased the hell out of 'im too, or at least want to."
"Weeelll."
"I wouldn't have such a strong desire to tease him if it weren't for his reactions to everything that's changed," Rose admitted. The two giggled for a moment.
"It's almost too easy," the Doctor agreed.
"I've got to get some sleep," Rose announced after their giggles finally died down.
"All right then, good night Rose."
"Good night, my Doctor."
After a shower, Rose hit the bed, and had a dreamless sleep.