So I know I've said before that I want to rewrite the first few chapters, but now I know I'm gonna rewrite them. I'm just thinking about how I wanna go about updating it? I think I'll just edit the chapters and then publish a new 'update' chapter for those who might want to go back and re-read the edited stuff? If that makes sense? I'll find a way regardless, I mean I started this story when I was 16 and I'm 20 now, my ideas and method have changed a lot and it's cringe inducing to go back and see the earlier chapters knowing that all the better writing is some few chapters in, plus planning wasn't my strong point, so there's plot holes eeeeevery where. I'll get to it anyway. I also have another chapter done so expect that sometime tomorrow. I also want to apologise for the weird formatting, I can't seem to fix it but I'll see what I can do.

I managed to arrive at a good time, Erol was storming through the fortress towards the throne room. I ran to catch up, calling after him. He barely acknowledged me with a glance back and just kept going.

"Jeez, don't feel obliged to greet me or anything."

"What is it Elie?"

"You said I could be with you when you have meetings with the Baron. For every meeting." I said, pointing an accusing finger at him.

He groaned and rolled his eyes, "Fine, just stay quiet if that's at all possible."

I knew Erol could get agitated, but he looked like his head would explode at any minute, something big happened. And judging by recent events, Jak was more than likely the cause. Erol stomped across the throne room to address the Baron, I could only muster the effort to be half as courteous. Praxis didn't look all too happy himself, actually he was never happy unless everyone around him was suffering.

"Why is it, that when I send not only one of our most highly advanced Guards, but also my most elite squad to eliminate one target, no one seem's competent enough to be able to do it!" Praxis voice boomed out across the room as he slammed his fist down on the arm of the throne he stoop next to, Erol visibly flinched.

He bowed his head, "My apologies, but I've made the step necessary to strengthen my squad and before long we'll be rid of this annoyance."

Praxis looked towards me as Erol spoke, so I was the necessary step.

"It's too bad you couldn't have done all of this before that thing blew up our eco wells! How do you plan on handling our deal with the metal heads now!?"

Erol was lost on how to answer, but I had plenty to stay.

"Why exactly are we giving them dark eco in the first place? Don't we need it to power the shields?"

"Elie, shut up!" Erol hissed at me, I clicked my teeth.

"We had an agreement, I want an explanation."

"I'll explain it to you." Praxis' voice was unusually calm as he descended the dias towards us "Our number one priority to this city is to keep the metal head threat at bay, and dark eco is something we can supply them with."

"Excuse the interruption Baron, but I don't buy that we're giving them the eco to keep them away, the sightings outside of the city walls are too common and too organized."

Praxis chuckled, "You're a smart girl Elie, I knew Erol wouldn't always be able to keep you in the dark."

Erol grunted beside me, "She didn't need to know."

"Need to know what?"

"Giving those creatures a constant supply of eco isn't sustainable, we're running out as it is, but we just need enough time and enough eco to make them think we're willing to bargain for the city. It's very simple, we have eco and they need a way into the city. We give them what they want, and they do as little damage as possible. But what they don't see is that people are forced to rally against them, some people will do anything to save their home, and we just need to keep this up long enough until we've finally created something to destroy them with."

It took a second to process what I was hearing, it was ridiculous.

"So what you're telling me is that you're basically paying the metal heads to poke the city until it can't take it anymore and blows up in their faces?"

No one really answered me directly, Erol looked nervous, Praxis looked all too pleased.

"That is the biggest pile of-"

"Elie!" Erol half growled at me, grabbing my arm.

I ripped it free from his grasp "No! It's such a load of shit, you can't mess with people's lives like that. We're supposed to be protecting them, not caging them in and beating them with a stick! You're both corrupted idiots!"

"Commander it would be wise of you to reign in you're officer." Praxis voice returned to the menacing lilt it always carried.

"My apologies Barron, this is unacceptable."

"No fuck you!"

The words were barely out of my mouth before I felt the sting of a slap across my cheek. I wasn't surprised really.

"You will leave at once, I will deal with you later."

"I'm not going-"

"Now, Elizabeth!"

Too many retorts and insults hung on the tip of my tongue, but this wasn't the time to push Erol any further. I turned and stormed out enraged and anxious. How could they be letting this happen, how could they be the ones orchestrating it!?

I waited outside of the throne room impatiently, my anger bubbling to a dangerous level. I turned my head as the hiss of the door caught my attention, Erol stepped through not looking at all impressed with me.

"I hope you have something very good to say for yourself, how dare you speak out of turn like that! Learn your place!"

"I have!" I responded enraged, "Clearly I'm just another weapon to you! All of this," I shoved my hands in front of me, red eco enveloping them, "it's just something else for you to use! How can you ask me to fight for my City when you're condemning it to death! Why are you doing all of this!?"

Erol looked like he wanted to argue back, instead he took a breath and glanced away from me, "You do not need to know, and I won't tolerate anymore questions." He replied, his voice was still laced with anger.

"Whatever, I don't want to be a part of your shit anymore. Don't come looking for me." I ripped my communicator from my belt and threw it at Erols feet. As I walked away from him, I was aware that I may have been planting a big red target on my own back. But I wouldn't stand around blindly serving the people encouraging this mess we were in.

I couldn't go home, I didn't feel safe. I needed to keep my distance from the KG for now, until I found out how Erol was going to deal with this. I wanted to get out of the city, I had to figure out exactly what I was going to do. I walked through Havens streets, shoving my way through crowds, I suddenly didn't care what everyone thought of me, I wasn't the one they should be worrying themselves with. Seeing the gates to the forest felt relieving, if I didn't know who to turn to I could at least be on my own for a while.

I didn't go deep into the forest, I was aware of roaming metal heads and the fact that I only had a sidearm, instead I settled up on a large tree branch not too far above the ground. So when I heard footsteps and the hushed chatter of voices heading my way I tensed and held my pistol at my side, not that it would do much good if Erol had sent someone for me, I wasn't stupid. The rapid thumping of my heart calmed slightly when I recognized the voice belonging to the chatter.

Lo and behold, an orange fuzz walked into my line of sight.

Daxter was walking along idly talking with Jak, who trailed along behind him, complaining about the precursors and their "useless as a yakkow with no meat" artifacts, from what I could gather. It somehow brought a smile back to my face, I holstered my gun and sank back into my spot in the tree. Jak's steady stride halted and he whipped his head in my direction, I watched him as his eyes scanned his surroundings, a puzzled look adorning his face.

I had a theory I had been wanting to test out, and this seemed like the perfect time. I rubbed my hands together and generated a small amount of eco, playing with it in the palm of my hand. Almost as soon as the eco had materialized Jaks head shot up to where I was tucked away. I offered up a small wave, but ushered him to follow after Daxter. He raised a brow, but did so anyway, and soon the forest was free again from Dexter's annoying voice.

I couldn't leave the KG, I realized that the second I walked away from Erol. He wouldn't let me. But stuff just wasn't right lately, Erol had changed, his whole way of dealing with things had changed, or else I was just finally putting it all together for the first time. I couldn't tell anymore if I was stupid or if they were very good at hiding things.

With a deep breath I hopped down from the branch, Erol would come looking for me calmly once he knew I hadn't gone into hiding. So all I could really do was go and wait at home.

I felt tense sitting on the plush couch in my living room, and I couldn't put a finger on exactly why. I'd dealt with Erol angry lots of times, and given how he'd let me leave earlier it was likely he wouldn't be angry once he showed up. I inspected a throwing knife in my hand, I'd hardly held one in the past four years. It's edges were dented and dull from years of use and neglect, it also didn't seem very sharp anymore. I held it back aiming for the wall just next to the door and gave it a lazy toss just as the door flew open. Erol jumped at the thud that rang next to him and shot a glance at me.

"Had I known you were going to try and kill me now, I wouldn't have shown up."

I mumbled a sorry more into the collar of my jumper than actually at him.

He hefted a sign and plopped onto the couch next to me.

"How's your new uniform?"

"Heavy, in a metaphorical sense."

He snorted almost in understanding, it was rare Erol ever showed a sliver of understanding towards anyone.

"My equipments been good though, I get less tired with the distributors, I haven't been sleeping in half as much."

He gave a nod of his head, "That's good, it's what we'd hoped for."

"Who's we? Just you and Praxis? Or is there more people, more things you're not telling me."

He rubbed a hand down his face, "Please not now, just- no more for today."

I gave in and didn't continue with my endless burning list of questions, we'd both had enough of fighting, for now. Erol sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees, he fiddled with the cuff of his glove for a moment before inclining his head to me, "I'm sorry I've been- difficult lately, tense even. I know this is almost a pattern that we have, arguing and fighting then reconciling, but thing's have been especially difficult lately. I hope you know I don't make a lot of my decisions lightly."

Erol wouldn't look at me as he spoke, and against my better judgment, against everything I'd pieced together lately and everyone's warnings- I let out a long loud sigh, and brushed it all under that mental rug I should really have burned by now.

"It's fine, just don't be surprised when I refuse some of my work. I don't like your squad one bit."

He chuckled lightly, "I know, that's why I've thought about it for a while and I want you leading your own missions. You can take whatever help you feel you'll need within the guard, but in general you'll be working on your own set tasks."

My brow raised in surprise, "Nothing I'm going to hate hopefully."

"We all do things we hate, that's part of life."

This was really the best it was going to get for me so I didn't want to push it. I was tired, tired of all the back and forth I'd been experiencing lately, tired of trying to pick a side and tired of fighting against what I was and always would be, I was Elie the Krimson Guard. That wasn't going to change.

I stood up from the couch and straightened out my jumper, "I suppose you're hungry then?"

"Starved."

A couple of day's passed mostly incident free, reports of metal head sightings on the city outskirts told me we weren't holding up our end of the bargain very well, eco was low. I tried to not think about the bargain we had made and the kind of danger we put the city in, that would mean tugging at the rug and I very much wanted to tape that rug to the ground and forget about it. I'd made it my priority to scout the checkpoints dotted around the city walls and on occasion enlisted Jak's help. Erol didn't talk about Jak anymore, like he had just disappeared. He still almost snarled at the mention or sight of him, or the heinous thought that I might be anywhere near him, but wasn't so hell bent on putting him in a cell anymore. Now he just wanted to toy with him, maybe eventually try and kill him.

It was unsurprising, he'd mentioned the Baron moving on, no longer interested in his dark warrior project. He'd found something new apparently. I didn't ask what it was. But that was a weight off my shoulders, Erol's men weren't after Jak anymore, I wasn't after him anymore.

I tried not to think about my situation too much, for the sake of my sanity more than anything else. I didn't even think about my eco, no longer scrutinizing its origin. Every morning while I dressed in my cumbersome yellow and grey uniform I told myself 'I am Elie, the Krimson Guard.' And that was that, that was how I went about my day. Deserting and disobeying the KG was a bad idea. Period. And I just had to deal with the disappointment and frustration it brought on me from everyone else.

I couldn't voice my reasoning to anyone. My friends didn't understand why I made these decisions and overlooked so much of Erols behavior, no one really truly got it and everyone would judge and poke and prod at me for it, except one person.

I wandered into the dim light of the Underground base. The exact person I was looking for sat at a table, all the pieces of his mod gun layed out in front of him, in the middle of meticulously cleaning each one.

"Come for a walk with me?"

Jak looked up from cleaning the part in his hand a little confused.

"I want to show you something."

The airlock opened to the dingy surroundings of Old Town, our boots squelched in the damp marshy ground. I climbed up onto a crumbling wall to check for any hostile creatures or metalheads but we were alone, for now. I sat and swung my legs over the edge of the wall, Jak pulled himself up to sit beside me.

"Do you know what Old Town used to be?"

"New Town?" Daxter said chuckling to himself, I sighed and rubbed my temples, what did I expect from him.

"No, Daxter, not New Town. It used to be a slum district, basically every lurker in the city lived here, along with people who wanted to disappear."

"What do you mean?"

"No one could be tracked here, and it was so overpopulated that the guard never cared to spend much time looking."

"So." Daxter drawled, bored.

"So, five years ago it was destroyed by the Krimzon Guard. Because of me."

"Why are they so concerned with you?" Jak asked.

"It's not the guard as such, it's Erol-"

"Yeah we got that." Daxter butt in.

"And Praxis, I've been around the KG my entire life so as much as I'd like to, I couldn't tell you why it was so important that they have me over anyone else. I learned pretty early that I was valuable to them, and I've spent all of my time since then trying to figure out why. What is it that made them take on me specifically?"

"So what happened here?"

"When I found out I was going to be conscripted into the Guard, I ran. I came here, I knew it was off the grid, but I didn't have a plan and soon enough they came looking. And like I said they don't waste time wandering the streets, they just started burning houses, gunning people and lurkers down. I was trapped in a trinket shop, I'd been bartering with the owner when the place caught fire, one of the beams from the ceiling fell and part of it punctured one of my lungs." I touched the scar on my rib, it still felt rough and rigid compared to the surrounding skin, and warm, there was always a warm spot.

"I'm sorry?" Daxter exclaimed, "You should be dead!"

"Don't I know it, I'm not totally sure how but something to do with my eco kept me alive. It's not like green eco, it didn't heal it, but it kept everything together. Still hurt like hell though. Erol found me soon after I assume, everything gets a bit hazy after that, probably the shock."

"So this entire section of the city was destroyed, just to find you?" Jak said, almost in disbelief.

"Now you understand the extent Erol will go to just to keep me around. That's why I agreed to be part of his squad. I need to keep him satisfied, knowing what's going on in the city is a bonus." I thumped the palm of my hand against my forehead, "I'm stupid, so stupid. But not matter where I go he'll look for me, I put people at risk by not abiding by him and enough has happened already." I inhaled and held my breath, I was at a dead end for the first time in a long time.

"Is this why you and Torn always argue?"

"Kind of, I mean he disagrees fully with what I do. But I don't think he takes the full extent of the repercussions if I leave into account, I mean why should he? He just up and left with very little trouble. It's just not the same for me, nothing's ever the same."

Daxter hopped down from Jaks shoulder and onto my knee, "But they don't know where the Underground is, just go back!"

I shook my head "Erol would overturn the entire city to find it if I did that."

Jak huffed, "The city's going to hell anyway, what's a bit of rampaging from him gonna change?"

"My job is to protect people, not give the guard a reason to come looking for me. This place is my reminder of that."

"Why tell me all of this?"

"I have...just this gut feeling, that you being a part of everything will change things. I want you to understand what you're dealing with, and what kind of consequences might come along."

"I can deal with Erol."

"I hope so, I really really do."

I hung around in the underground for the rest of the day with Jak and Daxter until Torn finally decided to kick me out, I rolled my eyes at him and argued that I wasn't even in uniform, but he'd been tugging at that mental rug so it was better that I left. What was surprising was that Jak followed, saying he had to go see Krew. I shuddered at the thought of being anywhere near Krew, but I agreed to tag along anyway if only for some alcohol and to see Tess.

The Hip Hog was jam packed with dirty, sweaty bodies and the stench of smoke and various other substances I didn't even want to think about, nothing new really. I wrinkled my nose as I followed along behind Jak, the extra head and a half he had on me acting as cover from any unsavory types that might have a bone to pick with me. I'd often forget how much of Havens rabble hated me for the simple fact of being a KG, until I came here.

Krew wasn't hard to find, he was talking to a small group of men when he saw Jak and immediately pushed them aside. I, on the other hand, slid into a cramped space at the bar, or tried would be a better word. Tess spotted my struggle and propped open the door on the bar and beckoned me in. Even just being out of the sea of bodies made me feel less suffocated. I hopped up onto some crates stacked against the wall and brushed my clothes down as if that would get rid of the gross feeling of just being here.

Even with another girl, who I'd never seen before, working at the bar Tess was so busy with orders that we didn't even get a moment to greet each other. She just finished up serving a very disgruntled looking patron his two huge pitchers of drink when she turned to me quickly before someone else could catch her attention.

"Are you excited?"

I cocked a brow at her as I reached for a bottle to pour myself a drink, "For what?"

"The class one race! Krew's been working out bets all day."

"Even Krew knows there's no point betting on anyone besides Erol, I feel sorry for the poor bastards betting against him."

Tess smiled slyly, like she knew something I didn't, "I've been hearing a lot of people who think Jak might finally be a match for Erol."

I frowned at her, "I've seen Jak race. He's good, but not that good. Also I'll mention that if it weren't for me keeping Erol's racing zoomer in check then yes, Jak would be some small match for him."

Tess's face darkened then and she lowered her voice, "Maybe if Jak won it might be a good thing, maybe it'll knock the Commander on his ass a little."

I snorted, "Nothing can knock Erol on his ass, trust me I've tried."

She just shrugged, her face lighting up again as she smiled and turned back to her work.

This was a development though, people were doubting Erol's sturdiness, his ability to remain undefeated and maybe his authority. The race wasn't for another month or so, he hadn't even started preparing. The class two race hadn't even happened yet, but that was largely overlooked by the betters and class one racers.

What Tess had said stuck with me, what if Jak did win? He'd get into the palace again, I supposed that was his goal, and he'd get himself killed doing it no doubt. I was very aware of the fact that I could make a choice and decide who would win in the end, I decided to think on it closer to the time. Jak leaned over the bar to grab my attention and jerked his head for me to follow him. He didn't turn back to me until we were back out in the cold dock air, almost refreshing had there still not been a stench. I noticed Daxter hadn't followed us out and said as much.

"He didn't want to come." Jak said shrugging.

"Oh? I guess annoying Tess was more important than his best friend, huh? So what are you up to now?"

He ran a hand through his hair and looked around, probably for a zoomer.

"Sig wants us to run out some metal heads in the forest."

"Us?" I questioned a little surprised, "Well isn't he just a bastard. I didn't even see him in there."

"You don't have to come."

I stuffed my hands into my pockets, "Got nothing better to do, let's swing by my place first and I'll get my gear."

Jak "borrowed" a zoomer that had been left by the edge of the docks and made good time on getting to my apartment thanks to the insane way he drives. I half ordered him to take a back alley and wait there, threatening that if he moved even one finger I'd have his head.

What I did not expect was finding Erol lounged out on my couch flicking through the TV, unamused. I tensed and my stomach dropped, he didn't seem all that surprised to see me.

"Have fun with the cities filth?"

He knew I'd been in the Hip Hog, had he been watching me? I tried to act nonchalant, tossing my jacket onto the back of a chair and going for my gun locker, "Pray tell how you discovered me among the mere mortals of Haven?"

His nose wrinkled, "You reek like the sewers."

He hadn't seen me, no one had, good. The problem still remained however that he was just, here, and I had to go. I could feel his eyes on my back as I reached for my sniper and stuffed some ammo into a hip bag.

"Going somewhere?" When I looked to him his attention was back on the TV, a very old repeat of a race in Kras was playing.

"Shooting range, maybe some target practice in the forest." It was easier to say and came out more evenly knowing it wasn't a complete lie.

"You're planning on being gone a while from the looks of it."

I was pulling out parts of my new and old uniform seeing as how they were the only things I owned that allowed any amount of movement, "It's a nice evening, why not stay out." Despite both of our relaxed demeanor's the air felt tense, I tried to brush it off, "Can I expect to find you hogging my couch when I come home?"

He lounged back further, "Probably."

I grunted at him and turned to go to my room and change. I thanked the precursors he didn't ask to come with me to the forest, obviously some amount of trust was still there. I changed quickly, the less time I left Jak out there on his own the better. I passed through the living room one last time to grab my boots and shouted back to Erol that I was leaving, and a passing comment on not clearing out my pantries.

I half jogged around the back of the complex and was relieved to find Jak still sat on the zoomer, arms crossed, he'd been paying very close attention to his surroundings as his shoulders sagged when he saw me.

"Keep away from any windows, and stay in the alley."

"Why? I thought I wasn't being targeted anymore?"

I rolled my eyes, why did he always have to questions me, "Yes, but Erol is in my apartment and he loses it at even the thought of me being around you." I pulled myself onto the zoomer behind him and kicked the back of his leg, "Just listen to me for once."

"That's a little over protective of him." He said as he started up the engine, the rumble of it seeming way too loud.

"He never liked me mixing with the rabble."

Jak looked back at me over his shoulder as I smirked at him, and I could swear there was a hint of a smile on his face.