Chapter Fourteen: Broken

With everything in the past
Fading faster and faster until it was gone
Found out I was losing so much more than I knew all along
Because everything I've been working for
Was only worth nickels and dimes
But if I had a minute for every hour that I've wasted
I'd be rich in time, I'd be doing fine
Without you I was broken
But I'd rather be broke down with you by my side

Jack Johnson

…

"I'm sorry, Elle. Did I wake you up?" Addison whispered as she noticed Elena's big green eyes staring back at her in the early morning light.

"No, I woke up on my own. I don't feel well, Mommy," the little girl said sleepily.

Addison sat on the edge of the bed and felt Elena's forehead; it was a bit warm, as far as she was concerned. Besides, Elena was hardly one to complain, so she knew that it was probably a little worse than it appeared to be. "I thought it was just exhaustion because we've been so busy lately, but these past few days in New York have been substantially less than hectic, and you're still not well. I haven't been feeling up to par myself lately, so when we get back to Seattle, we'll get some labs done at the hospital."

"Okay," Elena sighed, although the prospect of being potentially poked with needles didn't appeal very much at all.

"You should try to go back to sleep for a while. It's still three in the morning in Seattle," Addison smiled.

"I can't sleep," she answered, although she made no mention of the nightmares that had plagued her sleep for the past few days. Try as she might, she couldn't remember any detail of those terrible dreams, but the lingering feeling in the pit of her stomach was a reminder that they had, indeed, been dreamt. In fact, the only dream that she could remember from the past week was one of Leni, brief and fleeting, whispering to her that there would be a storm very soon. Elena had no idea what it meant, or if it meant anything at all, but she attributed it to the photo album that had been the focus of her attention since she received it.

"I'm gonna go take a quick shower and start getting ready. Try watching some TV," Addison suggested. "I hear that most six-year-olds like cartoons. And call room service and order whatever you want. We're having a late lunch today with Meg and Savvy, so we'll just have a big breakfast to settle things out." She paused and then remarked with a smile, "The crêpes here used to be amazing. Your dad and I would come here just for them; let's find out if they're still as good as they used to be."

Elena grinned as she tried to imagine a younger version of her parents laughing over breakfast. It was easier to picture them from years ago now that she had Leni's photographs, and she wondered if they had taken Leni here as well.

While her mother was in the shower, Elena picked up the phone and ordered breakfast like a pro. Her mother had always encouraged independence, and as a result, Elena was a very confident and capable child. She knew that she would need such skills to succeed as a surgeon and at life in general; however, no one could have predicted that her capabilities would be tested so soon.

A knock at the door surprised her a few minutes later; she knew that it couldn't be room service so soon. Nonetheless, she crawled out of bed and opened the door slightly to find a familiar-looking stranger standing before her. She didn't say a word, but the man smiled and knelt down at her eye-level.

"Hey, there. You must be Elena," he said charmingly, and when she nodded, he continued, extending his hand in greeting. "My name is Mark; it's nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you from your aunts—especially Nancy."

Although she still didn't know very much about this man named Mark, he obviously knew her. And despite the fact that her mother had warned her not to talk to strangers—especially in a big city like New York—she could tell that he was there with good intentions.

"Is your mom around, Elena? I'd really like to speak to her for a minute if she is," he wondered, but before Elena could answer, Addison did.

"Oh. My. God," she said slowly and in disbelief, staring him right in the face as she stood in her white bathrobe, hair wrapped in a towel.

"Hey, Addie; you look good. Long time, no see," he grinned, rising back to his feet.

Elena noticed that her mother was substantially less happy to see him than he was to see her. The tone in Addison's voice was one that she didn't often use, and it made Elena very curious. Apparently, this Mark person was someone of importance.

"Elle, Sweetheart, I need to speak with this man outside for a minute; why don't you go finish up your homework?" Addison said stiffly, eyeing Mark cynically the entire time.

"It's all done. You helped me with it yesterday, remember?" Elena replied, her curiosity now piqued. Who was he? Where had she seen him before? And why in the world did her mother seem to want him gone so badly?

"Then study ahead; I expect you to know the first ten of next week's vocabulary words by the time I'm done," Addison instructed and sighed in exasperation as she followed Mark into the hallway.

For the most part, Elena usually did what she was instructed to do. However, her curiosity combined with the millions of questions flooding her thoughts was too much; quietly, she put her ear to the door and listened to the conversation in the hallway, desperate for answers that she was sure she wouldn't get otherwise.

"Mark, what are you doing here?" Addison demanded.

"A little bird told me you were back in town for a few days," he replied, and they both knew very well that the "little bird" was named Nancy. "I can't believe you left in the first place. You hated Seattle."

"I didn't hate it; it just wasn't Manhattan. And Elle is so much happier in Seattle; I know it was hard on her to be so far from Derek."

"What about you, Addie? Are you happy in Seattle?"

She nodded, and even he could tell that the look on her face was sincere. "Yes, I am. And you still haven't answered my question."

He sighed. "I miss you, Addison. It just doesn't feel right to be with anyone else but you. It's been years, and I should be over you by now, but I can't get you out of my head. Do you ever miss me?"

The truth was that sometimes she did. Sometimes she even thought that maybe she had really loved him, but she couldn't be completely sure. After all, he was Mark, and that completely changed the rules about everything. "No," she lied and watched his face fall. "And even if I did, I wouldn't be with you. It's too complicated, and Derek and I are finally at a place where the past is behind us. No good can come from those old feelings resurfacing, and I won't put myself or my daughter through that. We don't need complicated." With that, she turned and left him staring dejectedly at the door as it closed behind her.

"Mommy, who was that man?" Elena questioned, even more perplexed than she had been moments ago.

"Just a ghost of the past, Sweetheart," she answered and went to finish dressing.

All of a sudden, it hit Elena: She had seen Mark in a picture in the photo album! She quickly grabbed it off the table and hurried to catch up with Mark before it was too late. "Excuse me!" she called out, finally catching him as he waited for the elevator.

"I don't think your mom wants you talking to me," he said with a sad smile.

But Elena was determined. Opening up the photo album, she quickly found the photograph. It was the four of them—Leni sitting on Derek's shoulders, holding Addison's hand, and Mark with his arm playfully around Addison's shoulder. They all looked so happy and carefree, the same feeling in each of the other photographs.

"Whoa… that was a long time ago," he commented in surprise; obviously he hadn't expected that.

"You're in this picture. You were in Leni's life and in my mom's and dad's. So, who are you? And what happened?" she wondered.

He was taken aback by the six-year-old, by her desperate search for the answers to her questions. "I'm nobody you'd want to know, Peanut," he told her. "And as for what happened, I'm afraid it's not my place to say."

"But I do want to know, Mark," she insisted. "Just tell me something. Anything. Please?"

With a ding, the elevator doors opened and he stepped inside. However, before they closed he said simply, "I'm just the guy that's in love with your mom."