A/N: Sorry for the delay on this story. This is the story that I promised I would never write a chapter of on my iTouch because… well… I can't. I don't have the italics thing. But I can't write it at night when I'm supposed to be sleeping and that's why this hasn't been regularly updated. Anyways, let's get on with it!
Also, sorry about math problems in the last chapter. I wasn't in the mood to do math, so blame it on Gwen's sleep deprivation. Hopefully, that makes sense. I can't do math before ten in the morning, personally…
Disclaimer: I don't own Ben 10. At all.
February 11, 2011
9:59 P.M.
Day Eighteen
I felt like I had to write today, no matter how tired I am. I've been with Kevin for a full twenty-four hours now. I was asleep half of the time, curled up in his warm arms. He's great, really. People should give him more credit. He may be a bad boy, but he's such a great guy that he deserves some more respect.
So it's day eighteen. Lot of stuff going on. Tomorrow, we see if we've managed to stop the cancer enough. If we did, good for us, we get to keep Kevin, even if only for a little bit longer. If we didn't… well… I don't want to talk about it.
But I was in there with him for at least thirty hours, which is why I didn't get to write yesterday. I was sleeping most of yesterday morning and then I was with Kevin for the whole afternoon and then all night... And all of today as well… I'm a busy girl, sorry. Don't get to write a whole lot anymore. I've got a dying boyfriend to take care of.
But it's pretty much ten o' clock at night and I'm ready to crash and burn on the couch. Ben's in with Kevin right now. They're doing a comic book swap thing, whatever. I'll let the guys have their guy time.
So I'm working feverishly to try and study everything that we know, everything that could possibly help. I'm just trying to gather information to compile it all and give it to Azmuth so that maybe he knows what we could do to fix Kevin… Ben and I can only do so much…
I'm almost wondering if we could hack the Ultimatrix like we did the Omnitrix and screw up his DNA again. Maybe that would stop the cancer. Cells need DNA to divide, right? The only problem is that I don't know if we could pull it off again without running the risk of having him be severely mutated again. I know that would kill him inside even if it saved him on the outside. So we probably can't do that. I doubt it'd work anyways.
What else can we do? We're defenseless. After all the chances we gave him, after all the work we put into trying to fix him and make him right again, we're still going to lose him. Or at least we will if we don't stay focused and do what we can.
The only problem that we're seeing with Kevin absorbing our skin is that he's only being covered on the outside. It's the way his armor works. Or at least that's what he tells us. It probably won't fix him or anything, but we're only hoping for a delay until we can find someone who can really help us. We know we can't do this alone. It just won't work unless we have more help.
Then there's the problem that he's only awake for a few hours now. Using his powers so much drains him just as much as it drains us. It feels like he's taking our energy when he's absorbing us. That's what scares me a bit. Him absorbing energy instead of cells. But he knows what he's doing. I hope.
Today, I was with him all day and we were just talking, me curled up in his warm arms as one of his hands remained permanently planted on my arm so he could keep up the absorbing. We just sat there most of the day, talking, hanging out, just like normal teens would do. The only difference was that we were talking about aliens and fighting styles and such. It was normal for us, but it would be strange for anyone watching or listening in. It's natural for Kevin and I. Not natural for other people.
Maybe that's what makes us special. Because we're so different but so the same. We know the exact same things as normal teenagers. We know how things are in high school (or at least I do) and then you mix in the fear of dying because of aliens and the problems of knowing you're not human, not like everyone else. It's a bit more stressful. But life's good. I think we're happy other than the fact that Kevin's dying.
I'm scared about tomorrow. I don't know if we saved him or not. I don't know if we slowed down the cancer. I'm not sure what's going on. I'm being pulled in like twenty different directions and I don't now where to go. I'm scared for him. He's the only person I'll ever love and if he's gone… I don't want to lose him, but that makes me feel selfish and then… Yeah. I'm so torn.
But I almost want to let him go just so he doesn't suffer anymore. If he stays, he'll be hurt more. He'll lose his mind again, we all know it. And he's always going to be hurting for something. He's almost like a little kid sometimes, innocent and wide-eyed, always afraid of losing something and fearful of a certain kind of darkness. He didn't deserve to die, but he did deserve to be at peace.
I don't want to lose him. He's still young and still has so much to do, but he's ready to get on with things, ready to relax for good. He's so sweet, but now he needs to just… just be done.
And I love him. But if he isn't there in the morning, I don't think I'll be as angry or as sad. Because I know he'll probably be going to a better place, a place where he can relax, a place where he doesn't have to worry about anything.
Then there's the fact that I've seen him get hurt a billion times before. If he is gone, he won't get hurt. He won't be able to die a slow, painful death. It'll just be the blink of an eye and then he'll be safe forever.
Write again tomorrow.
A/N: Kind of just distracted throughout this, but I tried. Anyways, night everyone and leave a review!
~Sky