Chapter Fourteen

The last thing Jane wanted to do was go to a ball, even if it was one that her family was putting on. That pretty much determined that she had to be there, and she was, but she was not having fun. She played the part she was supposed to, but enjoyed none of it.

She was tired – emotionally, mentally, and physically. And she knew that she was physically tired because she wasn't sleeping well. Thoughts of her future as Steve's wife and Loki as Darcy's husband kept her up at night. She was ready to tear her hair out from the roots. She had seen Loki more since that day at the docks, but it was difficult with all these feelings she had for him and not being able to say anything or do anything them.

At the ball, she danced with Steve and other men that asked. She must have done a good job fooling everyone because at one point, Steve pulled her aside and demanded to know why she was flirting with other men.

"I'm not flirting with other men," Jane hissed at him. "I'm having fun, Steve, or at least trying to."

"For the past three weeks you've been quiet and sullen. We go for rides and walks and you barely even look at me or talk to me, and now tonight you seem to enjoy the attention of every other man in the room. Are you trying to tell me something, Jane?"

Frustration over the past month bubbled up within Jane and finally, she had reached the end of her rope. "Yes. I don't want this courtship any longer. I've had enough. I don't love you and I never will." It came out much harsher than she'd wanted, but she'd had enough. Enough of pining for a man she couldn't have, enough of worrying about her future as a wife to someone she didn't love, enough of being courted by Steve – she'd had it.

He looked stricken and stepped back away from her as though she'd struck him. Feeling guilty and still very angry and frustrated, she stormed out of the ball, not caring anymore if she made a scene or caused tongues to wag.

Jane made her way down the stairs and ordered the butler to ready a carriage for her. She wanted to go to the Odinson home in Derbyshire now. She then wrangled her maid to help her prepare for the trip. Her mother would be angry with her. So would Thor. Loki would worry about her, and the desire to just find solace in him was overwhelming. Yet, she knew that was setting a dangerous course, which just added to her frustration. She was done. Absolutely done.

"Jane, open the door."

Thor. Jane marched over to her bedchamber door and whipped her door open. "Yes?"

"What the devil are you doing? You left the ball."

"I'm going home," she said.

"You are home," he told her.

"No. I'm going home to Derbyshire."

"When?"

"Tonight."

"Tonight?!"

"I've already asked that a carriage be readied and I'm packing now."

"Jane, what in the hell happened in there to make you decide to leave the ball and pack to leave tonight for home?"

Jane threw up her arms. "Because I've had it, Thor. I'm done with this blasted Season. Steve just had the audacity to ask me why I was flirting with every man in the room when I wasn't and I'm tired of being a little puppet on the string. I don't want him to court me and I told him as such. I don't love him and I never will love him and no amount of time is going to change that!"

Thor stepped inside her room and shut the door behind him. He attempted to take stiff and unyielding Jane in his arms for comforting and she pushed away from him to return to packing. He followed her inside.

"Jane, stop. Calm down. Listen to me. You cannot leave tonight. It's not safe. If you want to go tomorrow still you may. I'll even escort you home to see that you get there safely."

Jane paused in her packing and turned to him. "Will Mother let me go?"

"It doesn't matter now, does it? You've told Lord Steve how you feel and I suppose that is the end of it. Perhaps you need a break from Society for a while. I know quite well how it can be tiresome."

Jane sighed heavily and nodded. She down on her bed. "I don't know that I ever want to marry, Thor."

"Now let's not get ahead of ourselves," he said with a chuckle. "You need a break, I'll give you that, but don't give up all hope of marrying. The right man just hasn't come along yet."

Yes, he has, Jane thought desolately. But I can't have him.

"I'll talk to Mother," Thor told her. "It'll be all right, Jane. Just take a rest tonight, all right?"

Jane nodded.

"We'll leave first light if you want."

Jane nodded again. "I do."

xxxxxxxxx

The following morning when Jane came down, dressed and ready to go, she found Thor and Frigga waiting for her in the foyer. The carriage, Thor informed her, was ready. Her things were on board, and as soon as she was ready to leave, they would be off.

"Where's Loki?" Jane asked.

"Still abed I'm sure," Frigga told her as she embraced Jane.

"I think he was in his cups last night. I told him you were leaving for home today, and he mentioned going with you. He also mentioned having some business to take care of before he could…I'm not sure what his plans are," Thor said with a frown.

"I am disappointed that things did not work out with Lord Steve," Frigga said. Jane knew that already for Frigga had come the night before after Thor had left to check on her. Frigga had expressed her disappointment then, and while she thought Jane was making a mistake, she had told Jane that if she wanted to go home to Derbyshire, she was free to.

"I know, Mother," Jane murmured.

"But a break is what you need. So a break is what you'll have."

Jane smiled weakly.

"I'll return home sometime tomorrow," Thor told Frigga. "Jane will be fine in Derbyshire alone with the servants. We won't be but a week or so behind her."

Frigga frowned. "Yes, though I do not like the idea of leaving her alone like that."

"I'll be fine, Mother," Jane assured her. "Time alone will do me good."

Frigga smiled gently. "Perhaps. Off with you now."

They hugged one last time and then Thor and Jane departed. Jane tried not to let it bother her that Loki had not come down in time to say goodbye.

xxxxxxxx

Loki ran down the stairs at breakneck speed, his coat not even on fully. "Jane!" he shouted. "Thor!"

It was his mother that came out of the drawing room looking alarmed. "Loki, what in the world?"

"Did they leave already?" Loki asked frantically as he hastily pulled his arm through his coat. "Did I miss them?"

"I'm afraid so, dear. By at least ten minutes."

Loki sighed and hunched his shoulders. "Blast! I wanted to let Jane know I would join her as soon as I finished up a few things at the docks."

"Thor said you might do that. Don't worry, my dear, you'll see her soon enough."

Loki sighed. He hated the idea of Jane leaving and not being able to say goodbye to her. He hoped she didn't think he didn't care that she'd left a few weeks before the Season ended. Thor had told him how she had reached the end of her tether the night before. Loki had attempted to visit her, but by the time he'd gotten there, Jane had already been asleep. And then this morning he had overslept before he could see her off. He liked that she would no longer be courted by Lord Steve, but didn't like that she was so obviously upset. He wanted to assure her that all would be well; he would see to it.

The more he'd thought last night of heading off to their country estate with her, the more Loki had liked the plan. He could be alone with Jane. He would have her all to himself – what was there not to like about that arrangement? Sure, the temptation would be great, but still. There would be no one but them and he longed for that.

"Besides," Frigga continued, "Is there really any reason to go so quickly? You and Lady Darcy seem to be getting on quite well." Her smile was conspiratorial. "Could there be a match in the offing?"

God no, Loki thought. "I don't think so, Mother. I don't see Lady Darcy and I making a match."

Frigga frowned. "Not at all?"

"I'm afraid not."

She sighed. "Will any of my children ever marry and give me grandchildren?"

Loki laughed and hugged his mother. "There is time enough for that."

"I fear there isn't. Jane is practically on the shelf as it is."

Loki looked at his mother a bit sternly. "I would rather Jane remain on the shelf than marry someone she doesn't love."

"I don't think she gave Lord Steve much of a chance—"

"He had enough of a chance," Loki said. "Jane can't force herself to feel something she does not."

Frigga arched a brow. "My, how protective you are of her."

I love her, Loki thought. "If you'll excuse me, Mother. I need to get down to the docks and take care of a few things so that I may join Jane."

Frigga smiled and patted her son's cheek. "A girl could not ask for a better, more doting brother than you."

If you only knew, Loki thought as he made his way out of the house.