Summary: Morgana's thoughts after Merlin stabs her in 5.13, with a hint of Mergana. Title: As I lay Dying
As she laid dying, Morgana thought of the words Merlin had said before and after he'd stabbed her. She'd been telling Arthur how she would stay with him "until the wolves gorge on your carcass and bathe in your blood." That's when she finally noticed Merlin had crept up behind her.
"No, the time for all this bloodshed is over." She'd turned to face him and he continued, "I blame myself for what you've become . . . but this has to end."
She'd replied haughtily. "I am a High Priestess. No mortal blade can kill me." Merlin then stabbed her and she'd felt the magic in the blade.
"This is no mortal blade. Like yours, it was forged in a dragon's breath." Oddly enough, he held her and lowered her to the ground gently. He then withdrew the sword and said, "Goodbye, Morgana."
She'd thought she was finally, finally going to win—Arthur and Emrys were at her mercy. But she should have known better than to try to thwart destiny. Emrys- Merlin -had always been one step ahead of her. Exactly like one's doom should be. Somehow she'd forgotten the destiny part.
She'd heard everything they said after she'd collapsed. Clearly they thought her dead. But just as it was apparently taking Arthur a while to die, it would take her a while to die. The pain wasn't so bad now.
They mentioned how they had to get to the lake. Why? No mere lake could heal Arthur . . . unless it was the Lake of Avalon. The Sidhe had the sort of power that could heal a wound of this magnitude. Maybe they would help her too. If she regained the strength she needed.
That being decided, she thought over her regrets. There were not as many as she'd have thought. She regretted finding out she was Uther's daughter. Before then, she'd only wanted Uther dead. Since then, she'd also wanted the throne. That meant Arthur, and Gwen, by extension, were in her way. Merlin had been too; he'd always seemed to know her plans.
She regretted what she'd done to Lancelot. Dragging him from death to be her puppet—it seemed beneath him somehow. Her plan for him had worked, for a while. But Gwen had somehow redeemed herself in the end, so it had been all for nothing.
She also regretted not acting on her feelings for Merlin, back when she'd lived in Camelot. He may have told her his secret and maybe even taught her about magic. He could have told her how he lived in Camelot, under Uther's eye, and still be as happy as he'd appeared. Maybe her past feelings were why she'd never killed him.
The pain flared again and she could now feel the life draining from her more rapidly. She imagined a lot of time had passed since they'd left her there. The sound of a slow, heavy tread grew nearer to her. I guess he didn't save Arthur after all . . . She felt rather than saw Merlin come up to her and place a hand on her head. "Merlin," she croaked.
He jumped, but replied, "Morgana? How . . .?"
Darkness was overcoming her. "Merlin . . . I'm sorry. So . . . sorry."
"For what, Morgana?"
One more breath; she exhaled, "Everything." Then the darkness won and she was gone.
She was too far away to see more tears trickle from Merlin's eyes. And she didn't hear him stifle a sob as he said, "Morgana, in sibbe gerest."
Did that surprise anyone? I feel like she got shafted there, even if she was an evil witch. Next- couples' beach time