Chapter 14
I am not sure as to how long I've been crouching over myself in that desolate kitchen, heaving and bellowing in my hands, but after it was all over, after all the tears have finally been shed,I had successfully given myself a splitting migraine by doing all of that and more. I almost regretted it, really, but a human will do what a human will do when they're destroyed…
They cry.
"Oh god," I wail out in pain as I rub my temples with both of my hands, "Why-y-y me?"
Fuck crying. Seriously.
Nobody answers me, of course. I sit there with my hands covering my eyes, the headache literally throbbing inside of my skull cap like a beastly heart. I stay like that in silence, for maybe a few minutes, or a few centuries, at least until the pain and throbbing dies down a little.
Despite my headache, it is no match for the pain that is happening to my heart; Did Georgina did what I think she did? Did she just dump me over what happened? Or is she just saying things out anger? I doubt she'd throw away our relationship so fast like this, due to our short yet intense months together as a couple…
Maybe she found someone else.
I groan in my hands. No, that can't be it. How can she when all she does is go to the nearby building next to us to do her job as a typist? She doesn't seem like the cheating type, or the type to jump from man to man. She's so sweet, so innocent, so honest…
Now you're just making excuses.
No way. Georgina's much too good to do that. She's a devout Christian, and she even manages to convert me to it way after Alex got into the Ludovico treatment. We went to church every single Sunday since then and the members there welcomed me with open arms despite knowing my deeply troubled past. That is something I could never find anywhere else, so naturally I stayed and participated in the services. Georgina goes to the Church of England since she was a wee little girl, so I doubt she would take the word of God in vain and cheat on me…
She's too good for that. Too good!
I slowly remove the hands from my face and immediately, I see a pair of blue eyes staring back at me…
Blue eyes. Pale skin. Wavy blonde hair.
I jump out of my chair and I smack hard against the floor, my breath literally stolen away from me in an empty gasp. I land on my hip with all of my body weight, and I yelled out in anger and pain.
"Alex!" I screech out, "What the fuck?"
I scooch myself back until my shoulders and head reaches a wall behind me, and I begin to shake. Why is he here?
But like a thunderbolt, I immediately jump up to my feet to show my face to my life's greatest fear. Instead, I meet face to face with a reflection of my own image staring back at me in the form of a toaster.
It isn't him.
It's me.
My breathing stops at that thought and I lay my hands on the edge of the kitchen table, my eyes still staring at the silvery toaster. It's no mistake; I do look quite a bit like Alex, but not so much so at the same time. His eyes are much bluer than mines, and he's taller than me, stronger than me, louder than me… Okay, we're not exactly alike. But from a distance, it's kind of scary how we just are…
My eyes dawn down at a nearby clock that resembles an orange, and it reads in bright green, "4:30 AM", and I sigh deeply.
I was planning to stay here until I have to return to Alex tomorrow night, but… since I'm supposedly dumped by the love of my life, I just couldn't stomach staying here anymore. I quietly walk my way out of the kitchen and back to the living room, where on one side of it, I can dimly see the beginning of the stairways going upstairs to my bedroom. Well, Georgina's room, anyway. To the sweet angel that I was sure I was going to devote my entire life with.
There was no mistake, though. I have to get that journal back.