GONE.
I DON'T OWN IT.
YAYYYYYY THEY SHIP DRAKEISMYFAVE1! IN YOUR FACE VAMPIRE FROM LORIEN! I also read your last review and can I just say to you all…
IF YOU DARE TO SHIP DRAPIRE, I SWEAR ON MY MOTHER'S LIFE THAT I SHALL DO ALL THE THINGS I THREATENED TO DO IN MY LAST REVIEW AND IN LORIEN'S REVIEW AND I WILL PERSONALLY RIP OFF ALL YOUR ARMS AND LEGS OFF AND LET DRAKE REPEATEDLY WHIP YOUR REMAINS UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT OF ALL OF YOU. INCLUDING ORC. I WILL ALSO MAKE YOU ALL DRINK CYANIDE (EXCEPT DRAKE OF COURSE) AND EVENTUALLY YOU WILL BURN INSIDE OUT. IF ANY OF YOU LISTEN TO LORIEN I PROMISE YOU THAT..
SAM: I WILL TAKE YOUR POWER AND USE IT ON YOU UNTIL YOU MELT, THEN I SHALL TAKE ASTRID THE BITCH AND ALSO BURN HER UNTIL YOU BOTH START FROLICKING UP IN YOUR STUPID LITTLE PATHETIC HEAVEN.
CAINE: I WILL ALSO TAKE YOUR TELEPATHY AND USE IT ON YOU BY REPEATEDLY SLAMMING YOU ON THE SECRET FEDEX TRUCK I HAVE FOUND HALF A MINUTE AGO. I WILL ALSO TAKE DIANA AND DO THE SAME THING TO HER. AND I'M GONNA STEAL ALL HER CUPCAKES AND HER CUPCAKE STASH.
ALL: YOU MUST SAY THAT YOU SHIP DRAKEISMYFAVE1. I SHALL HEAR/READ IT. ESPECIALLY FROM YOU DRAKE. YOU SHALL NEVER FIND A CORNER TO HIDE FROM ME. I PROMISE YOU ALL THAT IF YOU DON'T SAY IT, I WILL DO THESE THINGS. UNDERSTAND? AND IF YOU DO THIS THEN YOU SHALL GET YOUR ULTIMATE WISHES GRANTED BY ME. ALL OF YOU TELL ME YOUR ULTIMATE WISHES TELL ME OR SUFFER. OKAY?!
Are we clear? I think we're clear. Good. :3
Drake: I love you and you shall do as I say. Don't even look at Vampire From Lorien, not even think of her. AND DO YOU LIKE THE BAND SUICIDE SILENCE? ANSWER OR SUFFER.
QuinnLana: I shall become emo with you. But I want you guys together alone. So I'll leave it. NOW SNOG AND I'LL GIVE YOU ALL YOUR WISHES.
I LOVE YOU ALL AND SAY YOU SHIP DRAKEISMYFAVE1. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! *sips mango smoothie and eats nachos topped with oozy delicious melted chocolate* Are you jealous, Gaiaphage? Hmm...? ;) I'll give ya some if you say that you ship Drakeismyfave1.
Love you all!
Goneismyfave1
Diana: Umm, guys?...
Caine: Yeah?
Diana: When did anyone actually say we actually have to ship any of these?
Sam: I thought it was in the contract...
Diana: *reading contract* Ummm...nope. Just says here that we give total control of our lives to Nemo L. Dexter, will be ressurected if we died, must answer all questions and will be fined in sugar if we don't, and also have to give our author coffee every couple of chapters if we don't want anything bad to happen to us.
Caine: It's in the small print.
Diana: No, the small print is, "Sam, if you sign you will be fed cupcakes."
Dekka: So what you're saying is if he wasn't so shallow we wouldn't be in this mess?
Diana: Pretty much. Nice one, Sam.
Sam: I did it for cupcakes, Diana. CUPCAKES!
Caine: He has a point here. But what's the second line of smallprint?
Diana: The second one is: "If a fangirl war starts I have the right to hide in any corners and was not in any way connected. It was all your fault, characters. In fact, I was on the other side of the world typing when it happened. I have never left Europe in my life. So...your problem, guys."
Dekka: Sounds like she knew this would happen.
Drake: Wait...she said there was more than one corner! I will go on a quest to find it! *Insert heroic m-*
Caine: Woah, woah, WOAH! Quests are MY THING! Not yours. You have no right to go on a quest. It says here on the contract.
Drake: That's been written on with a Sharpie...
Caine: No, it hasn't.
Drake: It's in your handwriting.
Caine: No, it's not. And how do even know what my handwriting looks like?
Drake: BECAUSE I STALK YOU.
Caine: Ummm...not weird at all. Oh, and I think you should say if you like Suicide Silence or not if you don't want to get tortured.
Drake: Fine...*goes onto YouTube*
*five minutes later*
Drake: Well that was...interesting.
Caine: It puts a whole new meaning to "YOLO"...now, do you like them or not?
Drake: I guess so...
Caine: I thought so. And I know that you loved the video.
Drake: How? Are you psychic?
Caine: No. You were laughing your ass off when all the blood squibs started.
Ok first of all, Drake are you getting annoyed with the war over you?
(awkward question)
Drake: Who would you prefer to have as a girlfriend Astrid or Diana? And you have to answer
Everyone: Who would you think would win in a PHYSICAL battle... Diana or Astrid? (We all know Diana would win)
from GoneCrazy101
Drake: Not so much annoyed...
Caine: More like "terrified and screaming like a little girl?"
Drake: You have no reason to say that...
Caine: Oh, so it wasn't you that I saw hiding under a table curled into a ball cuddling a pink teddy bear?
Drake: That wasn't me!
Sam: You know, I think that was...you're the only one in the FAYZ with a whip arm...
Drake: I was halfway through changing into Brittney! She was the one crying!
Diana: It also says in the contract "Drake will not be the Drake-Brittney creature as I really cannot be bothered to keep alternating and the fangirls would probably hate me."
Drake: Ummm...
Caine: FAIL WHALE!
Drake: I would rather date Diana because then I would understand at least some of the stuff she's saying...and as for the fight...
Caine: *convenient megaphone returns* And so, for this years annual fight, we have-
Diana: NO. We are NOT doing this again.
Caine: *convenient megaphone dissappears* Awww...
Diana: Anyway, I would obviously win. Nerdism might be useful in exams, but it won't get you anywhere in a fight.
Hooray for long fanfictions!
Drake fangirls: Why can't you just he friends. *thinks* Actually, keep fighting each other. I don't want to see what happens when you team up. *shudders*
Caine: I will give you cupcakes and a fed ex if you start calling Diana Josephine (Napoleon's wife, who acts a lot like her)
Sam: I'm sorry for giving Caine a fed ex. Take some sympathy cupcakes.
Astrid: What is your favorite lunch meat? (Don't ask why I asked this)
Dekka: What would be the first thing you would do if you went to Hogwarts? (Once again, just don't ask)
Penny: What's your favorite pizza topping? (As I said before, don't ask)
from CrazyKitten2112
Caine: *to Diana* Hi Josephine!
Diana: Why me?
Astrid: I have studied lunch meats deeply, and formed the hypothesis that the one with the most nerdism must be-
Drake: Do we really need to do this now?
Dekka: If I was at Hogwarts the first thing I would do would be to KILL VOLDEMORT LIKE AN AWESOME BADASS!
Penny: My favourite pizza topping is...homicide! With sprinkles.
WAAWAWAWAWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *sobs and rolls on floor* goneismyfave1 stole Drake. Ahahawawawawawawawawwaaaaaaaaaa! Caine! Sam! Astrid! And everyone else. How could you betray me!? DRAKE IS MINE. MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE. DRAKE GET YOUR ASS BACK OVER HERE OR I WILL TELL THE GAIAPHAGE WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT HER! YOU ARE MINE. IF YOU GUYS DON'T SHIP DRAPIRE AGAIN I WILL DO ALL OF THE STUFF GONEISMYFAVE1 DID PLUS I WILL PUT YOU ALL BACK IN THE FAYZ AND THIS TIME I WILL BE IN THERE! YOU GOT ME ANGRY. DO YOU WANT TO MEET ME IN PERSON WHEN IM ANGY. I CAN MAKE YOU SUFFER. I CAN DO THINGS EVEN THE GAIPHAGE DRAKE AND CAINE COMBINED COULDN'T EVEN DREAM OF! I HAVE THE POWER OF THE AUTHOR AND I WON'T HESITATE TO MAKE A FANFIC AND MAKE YOU ALL SUFFER. SHIP DRAPIRE. I WANT YOU ALL TO SAY IT. EVEN DRAKE. IF ONE OF YOU GUYS DON'T SAY IT, I WILL DO ALL OF THAT AND MORE! I WILL ALSO BRING JUSTIN BEIBER INTO THE FAYZ AND BAN EMO MUSIC AND SURFBOARDS AND COFFEE AND NACHOS AND WHIPPING AND FOOD AND ALL THAT WILL BE LEFT IS JUSTIN BEIBER AND ME. ME FANGIRLING. ME LOVING DRAKE. ME TORTURING YOU ALL. ME RULING. ME ME ME ME ME ME ME. THE VAMPIRE FROM LORIEN WILL REIGN OVER ALL!
I feel better now. Those are serious. Do as I say O.O
All: do you love me? Answer wisely. Especially you Drake.
Diana: I baked these cookies. Try one. Now that you've eaten the cookie I should let you know it had human flesh in it. MWHAHHAHA
All: favorite season? Ooh a normal question. I didn't know I could do that.
All: if the amazing author will let you, can you all ask me a question?
From VampireFromLorien
Diana: Drake?
Drake: Yeah?
Diana: Can you actually read?
Drake: Yes...
Diana: Then start going through the contract. There has to be something in there that will get us out of this.
Drake: Didn't I answer this a few chapters ago?
Diana: Shut up and start reading!
Gaiaphage: Well, you scaring Drake has provided us with a lot of entertainment, so...
Diana: Hey, cookies! FOOD! *eats cookie, then reads next part* no! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *runs off screaming*
Quinn: Winter. It is a time of darkness.
Lana: But the winter darkness is pale compared to the darkness in our souls...
Sanjit: Summer has the best waves for surfin', duuuuuuude!
Quinn: You're still here?
Sam: In Spring and Summer, people bake more...which means...
Sam+Caine: CUPCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKES!
Penny: In Autumn, theres bonfires...YAY PYROMANIA!
Drake: Fire! SADISM! Yep, definitely Autumn!
Gaiaphage: *bursts into song* In the Summer time, when you're fe-e-ling fine-
Sam: Oh, God, stop! Please stop! It's worse than when Drake whipped me!
Caine: It's even worse than when Sam burst into song a couple of chapters ago!
*five minutes and one roll of duct tape later*
Astrid: Now that that's over...exams are in Summer!
Jack: Any season that Comic-con is in...
Caine: And a question for VampireFromLorien...
Sam: Should Drake be subjected to cupcakes being thrown at him next chapter?
Drake: No! We are NOT asking that!
Caine: *sighs* fine...
Sam: If you had to choose between Gone, Percy Jackson and the Lorien legacies, which would you choose? And also how many books are in the Lorien legacies at the moment? *totally not Nemo asking for personal gain there*
SOOO, CHAPTER OVER!
AND ALSO, I CAN HAS REVIEW? *DOES THE BIG EYES*
AS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT?
YEP, I JUST ASKED THAT. OOH, THE DARINGNESS (IS THAT EVEN A WORD? IT IS NOW!).
SERIOUSLY THOUGH, I DECIDED THAT SINCE I WOULD PROBABLY BE GETTING A LOT OF STUFF TODAY( SUCH AS A MIDDLE NAME FOR MY PSEUDONYM), I DECIDED TO BE NICE TO YOU GUYS AND GIVE YOU AN UPDATE!
NABDGELYO! (SOMALI)
NEMO L. DERPSTER