I was four years old, eating a bag of Doritos when a beer bottle shattered on the wall near my head. I screamed and threw myself to the floor, beginning my Army crawl to the hallway closet. Usually Mom locked me in my room, but she wouldn't be able to tonight.

"You see what you make me do?" Dessen's voice pierced through the air. I made it to the hallway closet and pushed the door open. "You talk shit about how I don't care about you and you have no idea what I go through for you bitches!"

I had forgotten how Dessen had looked. He looked nothing like me, with pale ginger hair and bright blue eyes that got duller every single time he drank. His ginger beard and hair got really shiny whenever he didn't wash it regularly, and right now it looked like he hadn't showered in days. The small wrinkles beside his eyes were deepened dramatically as he screamed at Mom.

Mom. I had forgotten the way she had always tied her long brown hair into a messy bun that looked effortlessly perfect. Her super dark brown eyes seemed to light up whenever she talked about something she loved. The chain around her neck held the key that locked my door. Whenever Dessen's rages could be predicted, she'd go ahead and lock me in there before hiding the key somewhere Dessen couldn't find it.

"Oh my God, you keep talking about how much you take care of us, then why the hell was your daughter eating chips for dinner? Why the hell did I even marry you? You're an alcoholic asshole who'd rather-" Mom's words were cut off with the loud sound of skin hitting skin. I quietly closed the door to the hallway closet, just like Mom had shown me how to do. There was a chair in here that I kept in here to keep the door firmly shut. I hid behind the long winter coats as I heard my parents hitting and screaming at each other.

The door to my closet suddenly flew open, knocking the chair hard into my knees. I let out an involuntary cry of pain as Dessen stormed into the closet like a hurricane. I hid my head underneath my arms right as his fist started to come down-

I jolted upright in bed, screaming. The sheets in my bed still felt like those winter coats I had become tangled in, and only once the sheets were gone did I actually cease in screaming out. I scrambled out of bed, panting heavily and running my hands through my hair. It felt like my heart was trying to beat its way out of my chest. I didn't start to actually calm down until the opera music from next door started playing.

I hadn't had a nightmare like that in what felt like years. After Dessen died, I had practically removed him as a father figure as much as I could. These nightmares about him had stopped soon after I managed to get my last name legally changed to Rook. I slumped against my wall and stayed there, listening to the opera music from next door and feeling as if there was a gaping hole in my chest.

The opera music suddenly came to a stop. I blinked at the wall as I heard muffled voices talking to each other. Unwanted tears sprang to my eyes and I buried my face into my arms, curling my body into the smallest position it could get into. I had never told Mom that I had loved her all that much while she was alive. It was far too late now, and thinking about Oswald and his mother right next door made me feel unbelievably guilty for everything I had never told her.

There was a series of knocks on my door and I lifted my head again to look in that direction. I really wasn't in the mood to talk to Oswald right now. A louder series of knocks came and I heard Oswald's voice shouting through my front door. With a curse and still shaking legs, I got up and stalked over to the front door. I unlocked the door and yanked it open to reveal both Oswald and Gertrude.

Oswald took in my appearance for a fraction of a second before saying, "Miss Rook, you've been crying."

"Aren't you observant?" I said, my voice accidentally cracking. Gertrude frowned at me, probably for snapping back at her darling son. What was she doing here anyway? Usually it was just Oswald who stopped by for unwanted visits. "I'm disrupting your evening, so feel free to go back to your night." I said, making a move to close the door, but Oswald's hand snapped out and he pushed the door back open.

"Ve heard you screaming," Gertrude said from behind her son.

Oswald nodded. "Yes; Mother thought you were in danger."

"No danger here." I said shortly. "Just a bad dream. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone again."

That was a lie. I hated being alone right now. I already knew that I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep now, not without seeing Dessen standing in the shadows. Oswald clearly saw that I was lying through my teeth, because his nostrils flared and he frowned deeply at me.

But instead of calling me out, he smiled in that infuriating way of his. "If that is what you wish, Miss Rook. I hope you don't have any more nightmares." He turned to Gertrude. "Come on, Mother. You can finish your story about the ladies from the produce section of the grocery store." Oswald started to limp away, clearly intending on leaving me like I wanted.

Gertrude, however, stayed for a moment longer than comfortable to stare hard at me. I returned her stare, all while getting the overwhelming scent of mothballs and cranberries from her. I got the feeling that she knew I was lying to their faces, but she eventually blinked her heavily lidded eyes and left for her apartment without a word. I watched her leave and ended up locking eyes with Oswald again.

Oswald raised his eyebrows slightly, as if silently asking if I was really okay. I blinked at him and closed the door behind me as I escaped back inside.